DATE #3

For the first time since Lord Voldemort had instituted this awful plan Severus Snape found that he was very nearly enjoying himself. His date was polite, intelligent, and very obviously NOT a Death Eater, which begged the question as to how exactly she had ended up here as his date. She was also very obviously nervous. He glanced once again at the 'dark mark' on her arm and wondered how he was expected to accept such an obvious fake. Dark Marks are links between the Death Eater and their Dark Lord; they do not smudge when your date nervously rubs it with her slightly sweaty palms. Still, she intrigued him. What was she after? Who did she represent? Was she a spy for Voldemort? An obvious fake sent to test his loyalty? Did Dumbledore send her? Surely not. Dumbledore trusts him implicitly because only he knows the truth about... about her. But it was still possible that she could be working for The Order of the Phoenix. Many of his fellow members still did not trust him despite all that he had done to keep the wretched boy safe. He decided to take a stab in the dark.

"Did Lupin send you?" he asked, watching her carefully.

The woman had the good sense to blush, "N...no." she stammered, "I um..." she leaned in to whisper, "I came on my own account." With the woman's face so near to his own Snape took the opportunity to take a sniff of her breath. "Polyjuice potion." he said, sitting back with a satisfied sneer, "Who are you? Tell me I didn't just have a dinner date with a werewolf."

"I am not Professor Lupin!" she exclaimed in a loud whisper, "I just wanted to see what was going on in this restaurant. They have stacks of reports on Death Eaters frequenting this place back at headquarters and I thought if I could find out what was going on it might... help."

"Help? Help who?" Snape asked, "Wait!" he said, staring at her in undisguised disgust, "You said Professor Lupin…" only one of the dreadful trio would make that slip, Potter is that you? he wondered, his mind was parsing the data he had, No. It couldn't be him. The conversation has been far too intelligent for it to be him." he paused as the obvious solution presented itself, "What on earth are you doing here, Miss Granger?" Snape asked his voice laced with acid and concern.

"I told you I'm a secret mission." she said, "Spying for the Order of the Phoenix... granted they don't know I'm here... but I'm here on ther behalf just the same." she smiled, "Do you like my disguise?" she asked, "I got the hair from a muggle named Kate Winslet. She needed emergency dental surgery and my dad let me take a few hairs from the chair before he cleaned up. I've been dying to try her out in a polyjuice potion. She's famous in the muggle world!"

"Charming." He said. Wishing he could die. Defeating The Dark Lord was not worth this torment.

"What are you doing here anyway?" she asked, "I thought this was some place for clandestine Death Eater meetings, but all I can see are people in dark robes on dates... I can't picture YOU going out on dates..."

"Obviously The Dark Lord is forcing me to do this." said Snape with obvious irritation, "He says I'm gloomy and it's making him sick."

"What qualities are you looking for in a wife?" Hermione asked, "Perhaps I can help!"

"Judging from the dreck that The Dark Lord has sent my way, my own tastes are clearly of no importance to anyone and willing seems to be the only qualification The Dark Lord is considering. What happened to my real date by the way?" he asked.

"Oh, I knocked her out with a paralyzing hex and stole her invitation. I couldn't have gotten in without it." She said, waving the charmed paper under his nose like she expected him to grade it. "She'll wake up in an ally non-the-worse for her nap." She added.

"Fabulous." He spat the word out like a bullet, "More damage control for me to deal with. You could've at least added a cunfundus charm so she'll..."

"I did." said Hermione, crossing her arms. "I am the best witch in my year you know."

"Doesn't say much for your year does it" he sneered.

"If you're actually serious about finding love, why not ask Professor McGonalgall out?" she countered, with rising temper, "She's a widow and you two obviously get on well enough..."

"You do realize that She's also twenty-five years older than I am and about as fertile as my left buttock." Said Snape nastily.

"That's not very nice!" said Hermione, "She's not that much older than you!"

"Miss Granger... I am 38 years old."

"Seriously?" Granger starred at him, "Merlin's beard dark magic must age a person...I would've guessed you were at least..." a look from Snape made her decide to change course, "I... I... I mean... Voldemort looks like a walking corpse... But then again Bellatrix is almost as bad as him and she looks amazing! Crazy, but amazing."

"I'll be sure to pass your compliments on to her then..." he said, in his iciest tone.

"No! I mean, please don't Professor. The thought of being questioned by Bellatrix LeStrange freezes my marrow... which is an interesting phrase I read in..."

"Don't you have some spying to do, Miss Granger?" he asked. The one interesting date I've had and it turned out to be Hermione Granger in disguise. I. Hate. My. Life.

"Well… considering the extent of this dark plot seems to be making as many baby Death Eaters as possible… I don't think it's much of an immediate threat to the Order, do you Professor?" Snape rolled his eyes as she continued, "So I don't see why we shouldn't enjoy some dessert. I've actually enjoyed talking to you when you're trying to be nice. It makes a change."

"Miss Granger, I am sure that Hogwarts must have some kind of policy prohibiting teachers from dating students..." he started to rise from his chair.

"There isn't actually." She said.

"Well then I will write one immediately upon the cessation of this unfortunate interlude." Said Snape, rising from table, "Good night, Miss Granger! And please never refer to this incident again... to… anyone… at… all. Oh, and fifty points from Gryffindor while we're at it." he said as a parting shot before storming out like an overgrown crow.

"Rats." said Hermione as she watched him leave, "He's left me with the bill." She mentally tallied the cost of what they had eaten as well as the contents of her purse and decided that discretion was the better part of valor. She quietly gathered her purse and headed for the bathroom for a quick apparation out of the Death Eater dating scene. Let's hope Kate Winslet never stumbles in there, she thought as the Polyjuice potion started to fade. "Wizards never forget the face of a person who owes them money..."