Chapter Three - Pillage and Plunder

Stede gazed through a telescope at the approaching ship. There was no mistaking the black flag on its mast. He'd heard it described in countless fanfiction.

Despite banning all such literature from the Revenge, his own perverse curiosity got the better of him. Over the past few weeks, Stede had read several horrifying accounts of Blackbeard and his nefarious crew. Everything written about the dreaded pirate captain was terrifying, but the stories penned by Dizzy Heads were the worst. The author had even written a rather chilling short story in which Blackbeard and Stede met. It had not gone well for Stede. By the end of the narrative, he had been disemboweled and partially cannibalized, but not before his corpse was subjected to deeply troubling indignities that Stede's delicacy could not bear to reconsider. After reading that story, he hadn't slept soundly for days.

Now, as he gazed at the ominous flag, its skeletal devil menacing him with its spear, Stede experienced a fear far greater than any he'd felt thus far in his pirating career.

"We're going to die!" he cried, thrusting the telescope back into Jim's hands.

Jim maintained a steely silence, as usual, but Oluwande spoke for them both when he replied, "We are not going to die, Captain."

He sounded patient and calm, though even he seemed worried by the sight of the approaching ship. His quick eye surveyed the surrounding sea, measuring the distance of Blackbeard's ship from their own before he abruptly pointed to their starboard side.

"See those islands, there? If we can get to them before Blackbeard spots us, we might be able to hide out in a cove until they've passed."

Stede gazed at the archipelago indicated by Oluwande, then looked at Jim, searching for approval. Jim gave a solemn nod, but Buttons interposed, "They'll have spotted us sure as we've seen them. Hiding won't do much good if they're intent on taking the ship."

Jim nudged Oluwande's side and directed a significant look at their sails. Oluwande, seeming to read his friend's thoughts, nodded and said, "Jim's right. We're smaller and faster. We could still make a run for it."

Stede grasped the telescope he'd forced on Jim once more, this time directing the glass at the nearby islands. Taking the council of his crew into consideration, he tried to draw a bit of courage from their steady demeanor.

"Alright," he said, attempting to draw himself up with dignity, though he was about to propose a cowardly retreat, "We'll have to trust our speed. Make for the islands. When we've put a few of them between ourselves and Blackbeard, we'll set a new course. With any luck, we'll be long gone before they realize we've doubled back."

"But captain…" Oluwande began to protest.

"No objections, please!" said Stede, his command more of a plea. He gave a nod to his quartermaster, and Buttons, with far more experience sailing than his captain, gave the order to the rest of the anxious crew. They banked hard to starboard, cruising at full sail for the island chain.


Meanwhile, on Blackbeard's vessel, Izzy was in command. He barked orders at the crew while Ed relaxed in his cabin with the Royal Navy captain, who had taken up residence on his ship, less of a captive and more as a companion.

Ed was perusing an early copy of Lady Whistledown, compliments of his naval prisoner, when he asked aloud, "Does this Stede Bonnet really keep a library aboard his ship? Why would he bring so many books to sea? Wouldn't they just fall over in a storm?"

To his disappointment, the captain coolly replied, "I can't comment on the accuracy of those pamphlets. Whistledown has been avoiding me, after all. It could all be fictional."

Ed was about to inquire into the identity of the mysterious author, when they were interrupted by his first mate.

"The Revenge is attempting to evade us, Captain," he reported dutifully, "She's gone to starboard and seems to be heading toward the islands."

Ed, accustomed to easy victory, lazily replied, "So follow them."

"But the rocks, Captain," Izzy warned, "It's low tide. We'll risk running aground."

Ed sat back in his chair, kicking his leather-clad legs onto the desk in front of him. He eyed his first mate, wondering if Izzy was testing his mettle. He didn't notice that the naval captain was also watching him, curious to see how this infamous tactician would respond.

"I know it's low tide," Ed stated in a tone of forced calm, as if barely concealing his anger at being questioned in front of a prisoner. "The Revenge won't make it through those islands. They'll be trapped if they try to avoid us."

"But the tide?" asked the captain, less cautious about questioning the pirate than his first mate. "You'll get stuck as well."

"Follow them," Ed repeated, striking a match for his pipe, "But at a distance. We'll drop anchor before we're too close to shore. The Revenge will be forced to stop or hit the rocks. Either way, we'll have her."


Back on the Revenge, there was trouble. The smaller sloop had skimmed past the rocks, even at low tide, while Blackbeard's ship slipped farther into the distance. With Stede's encouragement, they skirted the edge of the nearest island, effectively blocking the rival ship from view. But just as Captain Bonnet was about to congratulate himself on a job well done, there came a shout from the crew. In their attempt to avoid the rocks, they'd been forced to take a sharper angle than he'd accounted for. With a sickening thud, their ship hit hard ground.

"No…" Stede whimpered, craning his neck over the prow to assess the damage, "Oh, no no no… This can't be happening…"

"It's not that bad, is it?" called Black Pete from the lower deck, "I mean, we just have to wait for high tide to break free."

But by then, it would be too late.


The Revenge was out of sight, but Ed knew these waters like the tattoos on his own arms. He knew what Bonnet would find on the other side of that island at low tide. The ship would be stranded, and he was victorious. He emerged from his cabin, ordering his crew to drop anchor and board their row boats.

"Would you care to join us, Captain?" he said graciously to his guest. "I'm about to deliver you to Whistledown, as promised."

"But the row boats?" asked the naval commander incredulously.

Ed smiled, "We'll slip to shore and board their ship from land. We'll find it just on the other side of those trees."


Stede was in a panic. How were they going to get out of this mess?

"We should abandon ship!" suggested Roach, "If we're still here when Blackbeard arrives, he'll slaughter us all and take our riches for himself!"

"What riches?" complained Black Pete, "Is he going to steal a bunch of oranges? Or Captain's plant?"

Wee John, ignoring Pete's complaint, observed, "Even if we abandon ship, Blackbeard's crew will still find us! The island isn't large enough for us to hide for long."

"What if we swim to another island?" said the Swede.

"No good," Oluwande quickly interposed, "They could scuttle the ship while we're gone. Even if they didn't find us, we'd be stranded."

"What are your orders, Captain?" asked Buttons. In the midst of the chaos, only he seemed to recall who was supposed to be in charge.

Stede gazed at the worried faces of each of his crew in turn. Buttons was calm, but he was the only one. Even Jim had a look of despair. Not one of the crew had the confidence in their Captain to get them out of this situation alive.

But these were his men, and he was still captain. He paid their wages, he had commissioned this ship himself… And that's when he thought of a truly audacious plan.

"We can't take our ship, and we can't stay here," he said, "So there's nothing for it. We'll abandon the Revenge… And take Blackbeard's ship for ourselves!"


Ed, eager to meet Stede Bonnet at last, not to mention his talented chronicler Lady Whistledown, joined the search party that was going ashore. Izzy, never far from his captain, insisted he come along, particularly as he still didn't trust the prisoner Blackbeard had been keeping as a pet. They left only a small party aboard the ship to await their triumphant return.

The rowboats were left on shore as the crew began their silent approach through the trees, expertly creeping through the topical undergrowth covering the tiny island.

Stede and his crew watched them until they were lost in the shadows of that small jungle. They had made their way around the island's shore, hiding themselves amongst the tall, jagged rocks. At Stede's signal, the crew ran quickly to the boats, crossing the water as fast as they could row.

It was surprisingly easy to overcome the small crew that waited aboard Blackbeard's ship. They had mistakenly thought their captain was returning early, having dispatched their enemies in record time. It was only when the crew of the Revenge, headed by Jim's excellent knife-wielding skills, had already boarded that they realized their mistake.

"What should we do with them, Captain?" Black Pete inquired. Stede thought it was the first time the crew had looked at him with something like respect, perhaps because they'd managed to pull off his crazy plan with no casualties.

"Should we kill them?" asked Roach, brandishing his trusty cleaver.

"No!" Stede cried on impulse. He didn't think he could handle the sight of blood with the adrenaline currently coursing through his veins. He'd probably throw up, thus eliminating the small amount of respect he'd so recently earned.

Clearing his throat, he turned to the captured men and said, "No hard feelings, mates. We seem to be in need of a boat, and this is the only one available! Now, I'll give you all a choice. You can travel to shore to meet your captain. I've left my boat there. It's still in fine shape, so you'll have no trouble leaving once the tide comes in. Or, if you choose to stay, you'll serve me… Captain Bonnet, Gentleman Pirate."

He had to add this last part, as it suddenly occurred to him that his reputation may not have reached as far as Blackbeard's crew. Little did he know, they had recognized him instantly. They had heard of little else but Stede Bonnet and Lady Whistledown from their captain for weeks.

After exchanging glances, only two of Blackbeard's crew spoke up.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to stay aboard, Captain Bonnet," said one of the men.

"Is it true you pay wages?" asked the other.

The men, Fang and Ivan, remained with Stede. The others, grumbling about traitors and thieves, were sent ashore in one of the rowboats.

Stede, breathless with excitement, smiled as his men celebrated this unexpected victory and welcomed their new companions. Despite the joy he felt over his very narrow escape, he was still gripped with worry. Before, when the only connection between them had been a bit of fanfiction, Stede had feared for his life. Now he agonized over a fate worse than death if Blackbeard ever sought vengeance for the theft of his ship.

Swallowing the uncomfortable lump in his throat, he gave Buttons a new heading, and they departed with haste.


On shore, Ed supervised as two members of his crew painted the words "Queen Anne" on the prow of his new ship. They had found the paint among various crafting supplies, including a wealth of buttons, sewing patterns, and curiously, several jolly rogers.

"What the fuck has he got so many flags for, anyway?" Ed inquired of his first mate before adding, "Let's use the one with the skull eating another skull. That's badass."

"People will think you're a cannibal," warned Izzy with a scowl. He had been sulking ever since the loyal crew members left aboard their ship had appeared suddenly and informed them of the switch.

Ed, who had boarded the sloop to find it empty and abandoned, had already suspected some fuckery, but never something as ballsy as what Bonnet had pulled off. His first mate's displeasure derived less from the theft of their boat, and more from his captain's reaction. To the entire crew's astonishment, Blackbeard was far from angry. He was delighted.

"Good point," Ed said in reply to Izzy's criticism, "Let's use the cat, then."

"How you can be so calm is a mystery to me," commented the disgruntled navy captain as Izzy stalked away, muttering expletives under his breath.

"Try to relax," Ed advised as he busied himself with further exploration of his new lodgings, "The tide will come in soon, and we'll be afloat once more."

"But Whistledown is getting away! On your ship!"

"We'll catch up," Ed replied smoothly. "After all, this ship is lighter and faster. Captain Bonnet has given me the very tool I need to catch him."