Chapter Seven - A Pirate's Life for Me

The crew jumped to their captain's aid. Unorthodox though he may be, they were very fond of Stede Bonnet. Ed, alarmed by the reaction his sudden entrance had wrought, joined the throng around Bonnet and anxiously asked, "Is he alright? Did he hit his head?"

The crew responded quite naturally to Blackbeard's commanding presence. Rather than question his right to intervene, they looked to him for guidance. Ed, accustomed to issuing commands and having them followed without question, easily fell into the familiar role.

"Into my cabin!" he demanded, forgetting for the moment that the captain's quarters were no longer his own.

The crew understood him, and with Ed supervising, they lifted Bonnet with the utmost care and deposited him in Blackbeard's former bed.

"What do we do now, Captain?" asked the bald pirate. He was speaking to Ed.

Ed took a moment to consider the situation before he asked, "Do we have any smelling salts on board?"

He had read of such things in Whistledown. Fine ladies on expensive ships were almost always revived with salts after their ships were plundered by ruthless, yet devilishly attractive pirates. Perhaps the same would work on Bonnet.

The crew looked at one another with confusion on their faces, then one of them said, "I've got some salt in the galley. It's for preserving meat, but would that work?"

"I don't think that's the same thing," Ed replied, though in truth he wasn't sure. "Just bring me a wet rag for his head. The rest of you can go."

He didn't say as much, but he was worried that the noise of the fidgeting crew would disturb their sleeping captain. He wanted Bonnet to be comfortable when he woke, and moreover, he needed some time to think…

"Um… Captain Blackbeard… Sir?"

He turned, surprised to see that two crewmates remained after the damp cloth had been fetched and delivered. The taller one, a man who wore a knit cap and a teal earring, addressed him with, "Sorry, I know you wanted us to clear off, but… I don't think I can just, y'know, let you kill our captain? If that's your plan, that is…"

Ed's gaze flickered to the shorter pirate, whose hand was resting on the hilt of a dagger. He gaped at the pair of them for several seconds before he replied, "If I was planning on killing Bonnet, would I have put him in my bed? Just look at him! He's got a rag on his forehead! And who put it there, I ask you?"

The crewmate looked at his companion, still seemingly indecisive.

"But… If you aren't here to kill him, then what exactly do you plan to do with us?"

Ed continued to stare at him. After what seemed like a very long time, he sat back in the chair he had placed by Bonnet's side and huffed.

"Do you know, I hadn't really thought that far ahead?"

At that moment, they were interrupted by Izzy, who burst into the cabin engaged in a heated argument with a man in a short red jacket and a kerchief around his neck. Neither seemed to be listening to what the other said. Their words overlapped as their debate raged on, each man fighting for dominance.

"Your version of Blackbeard is completely out of character! The real Blackbeard would never…"

"It's called creative license! And in case you haven't noticed, the real Blackbeard has been chasing us all over…"

"... Because your so-called captain made off with our ship, and now you have the audacity to… Edward!"

Izzy stepped toward his captain, his face red from shouting. "Edward, tell this man that you're nothing like Whistledown's stories!"

The other pirate, his hands on his waist, looked on smugly as he observed Ed, sitting peacefully next to the slumbering Bonnet.

"Seems my stories aren't as far-fetched as you make them out to be, Dizzy."

"Your stories?" Ed repeated, staring at the cabin boy in awe, "Then you're… You're Lady Whistledown?"

The man adjusted his posture and offered an uncertain smile, "And if I am?"

Ed rose from his seat. With a grin so wide it couldn't be disguised under his beard, he grasped the man by the hand and shook it vigorously.

"It's an honor! I'm a huge fan of your work."

"Are you?" replied the sailor a little faintly, "Oh, well… Always nice to meet a fan…"

"Edward!" Izzy cried, his rough voice filled with pathos, "You can't be serious about…"

Bonnet stirred in his sleep, disturbed by the noise. Ed immediately rounded on his first-mate, his expression clouded with anger.

"Quiet, Izzy!" he hissed, "What do you think you're about? Busting in here, causing a scene… You ought to be ashamed! What if you woke Bonnet?"

"I? Ashamed!" Izzy repeated, obviously hurt and outraged by his captain's reproof, "You think I ought to be ashamed when you… you…"

He took a deep, shaking breath. Smoothing his hair back with a gloved hand, he took a moment to collect himself, then said, "That's it. I'm leaving, Edward. I'm taking the Revenge, and I'm leaving. You'll have to decide. Are you going to be the captain I have been proud to serve, or are you staying here? Because I'm not waiting anymore!"

With this ultimatum issued in fatal tones, Izzy turned and marched out of the cabin, slamming the door hard behind him. Whistledown turned his face toward Ed, his head cocked to one side and eyebrows raised.

"Do you need to go and take care of that?"

"Suppose I should, shouldn't I?" Ed said with a sigh.

He didn't know what he was supposed to say to Izzy to convince him to stay, but as he took a slight step toward the door, Bonnet stirred in his sleep.

"Blackbeard…" he murmured, "No…"

Ed, instantly forgetting his first-mate, resumed his seat by Bonnet's side. Unconscious of his actions, he took one of Bonnet's hands in his own and fell into a silent reverie.

He didn't know it, but that brief exchange with Izzy did more to convince Oluwande and Jim that he meant no harm to their captain than anything he might have said. They glanced at Lucius, who was staring at the pair of captains with an expression of rapture.

"Okay… This really is happening…" he whispered, "Come on, you two… Let's give them a little privacy, shall we?"


Stede was dreaming. His fingers tangled themselves in the pirate's salt and pepper beard as they shared a deep, passionate kiss. Evidently, he's been reading too much Whistledown.

As the dream progressed, Blackbeard pulled away and smiled. They were going to run away together, across the sea and into uncharted waters…

But wait… What about Mary? Their children? Wasn't it his responsibility to care for them?

Stede frowned in his sleep. His thoughts weren't making any sense. Hadn't he already secured his divorce? Wasn't it him that introduced Mary to her new husband? Why, he'd even given her away at their wedding! She didn't need him anymore. She was living her best life now, as was he. He was free. Free to sail the seven seas and lead his men as the Gentleman Pirate he aspired to be. Free even to face that most dreaded of pirates…

He opened his eyes. For a moment, he struggled to see in the dim light of his cabin, then his vision came sharply into focus. There was a man sitting by his bed, his once black beard now streaked with threads of silver. When he saw that Stede was awake, he pulled a familiar pipe away from his lips and leaned forward eagerly.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice colored with worry. "Steady now. Don't try to move too quickly."

"B-Blackbeard?" Stede stammered, not heeding his advice as he attempted to rise too soon. He felt a dizzying sense of vertigo. He would have slipped from the narrow bed to the hard floor had not the pirate captain caught him.

"Easy!" said Blackbeard, holding Stede gingerly in his arms as he sat him upright.

Stede was flabbergasted. He stared at Blackbeard in disbelief as the captain pulled away, perching on the edge of his bed.

"Am I still dreaming?"

Blackbeard smiled. "Does this feel like a dream?"

Reality broke over Stede like a waterfall crashing into a pool as he realized how ridiculous he must seem. He had fainted in front of this illustrious pirate captain!

"I'm sorry!" he gasped, "I'm so sorry for running away and stealing your ship! I'm sorry for lying when I said we could meet. You should know it was only because… Because I was afraid! Do whatever you want with me, but my crew…"

"It's alright," Blackbeard said, resting a hand on his shoulder as he tried to reassure him, "You don't have to apologize. I've been talking to your crew. I know you had your reasons to fear me."

Stede, still anxious over the fate of his men, asked after their wellbeing.

"Oh, they're all good lads," Blackbeard cheerfully informed him, "They've been checking in to see how you're doing."

It was slowly becoming clear that Blackbeard wasn't angry with him. Stede couldn't comprehend it. He'd assumed the pirate meant him harm when his ship first approached theirs. After swapping ships, he thought there was no chance of a reconciliation. But Blackbeard didn't seem to mind.

"If you're not angry," Stede said slowly, "Then… Can I ask why you've been chasing me?"

Blackbeard looked away from him and stared at his hands instead. His fingers twisted around themselves while he searched for his answer. A wave of shock passed over Stede as he observed the expression suffusing Blackbeard's handsome features. He was bashful!

"That pamphlet you were reading when I arrived…" Blackbeard said, "Have you read a lot of them? Of Lady Whistledown, I mean?"

Stede had thought that a man of his age was well past blushing, but here he was, the color rising to his cheeks as he remembered the scene he had been reading when Blackbeard arrived. He tried to laugh away the awkwardness, but his nervous giggle gave him away as he said, "O-Oh! Yes… Quite a ridiculous story, is it not? Whistledown shipping the two of us, as the crew puts it… Why, we've only just met!"

"Yes… Ridiculous…" Blackbeard agreed.

Stede exhaled, his breath escaping him in a shuddering sigh. If he didn't know any better, he would think that Blackbeard sounded disappointed!

Gathering his courage, he asked, "If I may inquire… What does Whistledown's writing have to do with anything? Surely you weren't following me to…"

"Whistledown is in your crew."

Stede stared at him, taking longer than usual to process his words. When his meaning finally broke through, he instantly cried, "Oh, Lucius! I should have known! I've always encouraged my crew to find a creative outlet, but he's got an overactive imagination! I hope you weren't offended by anything he wrote?"

Blackbeard smiled again. "On the contrary. I love what Whistledown writes about us."

"O-Oh? Is that a fact…"

Blackbeard, still smiling, leaned closer to Stede as he asked, "Have you read any other fanfiction? Other than Whistledown, I mean?"

Stede was unable to meet Blackbeard's piercing gaze as he nervously admitted, "Well, yes… I've come across a few… by Dizzy Heads."

"I've never forced anyone to eat their own toes," said Blackbeard quickly.

Hearing the worry in his voice, Stede looked up again. Embarrassment was written so plainly on his face that Stede felt he could read him as easily as one of Lady Whistledown's pamphlets. Seeing how anxious Blackbeard was to win his good opinion, Stede couldn't help himself. He started laughing.

Blackbeard watched him in stunned silence for a few moments. Then, as the folly of the whole situation came over him at once, he too burst into laughter.

"I really am sorry about all the trouble," Stede said, wiping a tear of mirth from his eye, "I'd like to set things right, if I can. You can have your ship. I'll happily take back the Revenge, and then we could part ways like gentlemen."

Blackbeard looked down at his hands again as he awkwardly admitted, "The thing is… My first mate took your ship."

"What?" asked Stede, certain he misunderstood.

"He's upset with me," Blackbeard explained, "Thinks that trying to find you and Whistledown was a waste of time. So he took most of my crew and your ship. He's probably halfway to Barbados by now."

The two men looked at each other, one shocked, the other repentant. Then they burst into laughter again.

"This is still your ship," Stede insisted, "I'm sure my crew would gladly sail under a competent pirate for a change, and you'll hear no complaints from me."

"But you're a great captain!" Ed exclaimed.

Stede modestly shook his head. "The ship and the crew are yours. As for what you do with me…"

"This ship belongs to you!" Ed urged, "You stole it, fair and square. It's no more than I did to get this ship in the first place."

They had reached an impasse, as each continued to argue the claims of the other, until finally Stede made a suggestion. Inspired by the fanfiction that had brought them both together, he said, "I suppose if you really want me to stay… We could always…"

"Co-captain?" finished Blackbeard in a hopeful tone.

Stede returned his look with a smile. "If you want to."

"Yes!" Blackbeard said eagerly, "It's what I… What I mean is, I was hoping for a chance to get to know you. The real you."

Now it was Stede's turn to look bashful. He lowered his eyes and muttered, "There may be one difficulty."

"What's that?"

"Well, it's just that… We've only got one bed."