Chapter Eight - Dead Men Tell No Tales
"Goodbye, Dizzy! Have a safe journey!"
"Fuck you!"
"Maybe some other time, love."
Lucius stood on the deck of the Fortune, Pete at his side. Together they rested their elbows on the ship's railing, watching as Izzy Hands and the rest of Blackbeard's crew drifted away on the Revenge.
"This isn't the last you've heard from me!" Izzy warned while they remained in shouting distance, "I'll eviscerate you in fiction, Whistledown!"
"Sounds kinky!" Lucius called back cheerfully. He was almost sorry to see him go. He was really enjoying the look of consternation that appeared on Izzy's face whenever he flirted with him. But it was fun having a rival. Izzy could threaten him all he wanted, but Lucius already had several ideas for Izzy in his own fanfiction.
The Revenge was now too far away for their banter to continue, so Izzy settled on a crude gesture, which Lucius returned in kind. He then leaned his head lovingly against Pete's shoulder with a satisfied smile.
"You're not serious about him, are you?" Pete asked teasingly, "I mean, don't get me wrong. The way you handled that was hot. But what if I was the jealous type?"
Lucius laughed and gently elbowed Pete in his side. "What about you? That's Blackbeard's crew sailing away from us. Don't you want to join them?"
Pete frowned in a way that Lucius, in spite of himself, found absolutely endearing.
"That's true…" he said slowly, "But Blackbeard's staying here, isn't he? And besides… You're here…"
Lucius rewarded Pete's flattery with a kiss. Standing aboard a pirate ship, feeling the sea breeze ruffle his hair as he embraced the man he loved. The two of them, sailing away into the sunset. It should have been the perfect happy ending, and it was. Until they were rudely interrupted.
"Lucius!" shouted an irate voice not far from them.
They both turned, surprised to see a very angry man wearing a rumpled and dirty Naval Officer's uniform. He stalked across the deck and stood before the two men, his arms crossed as he said, "I wonder if I might have a word with Whistledown privately?"
Pete glanced at Lucius with a look that said "Is this guy bothering you?" Lucius smiled at his protectiveness, granting him another kiss on the corner of his mouth before saying, "It's alright, babe. This won't take long."
If the Naval Officer was scandalized by such an open gesture of affection, he didn't show it. He merely kept his frigid scowl fixed on Lucius until Pete sauntered off, leaving them in whatever relative privacy they could find on the deck of a ship.
"Okay," Lucius began when it was clear the captain would not be the first to speak, "You're upset. I get that. Is this about the manuscript I promised?"
"Do you know how much trouble you've caused me?" replied the captain with barely concealed rage, "Blackbeard captured my ship while I was chasing you all over the Caribbean! Do you realize I might have died? Yet you ran away, missed your deadlines, and for what? Trifling with this Whistledown nonsense while I…"
"But everyone loves Whistledown!" Lucius protested.
"You killed me in the first edition!"
"Ah ha!" Lucius exclaimed, pointing into the captain's face with a self-satisfied smirk, "So that's what this is really about? Well, don't take it personally. I was going to write myself out, as well. But Blackbeard threatened to string me up with my own guts if I didn't 'fix the ending' I had planned… He's a big fan."
"I'm aware," grumbled the captain.
"Well, then you see that I'm not done with Whistledown yet! I suppose I'll have to find some way to bring myself back from the dead…"
"What you're going to do is write the damn manuscript I asked for!"
Lucius interrupted his rising ire by placing his ledger into the captain's hands.
"It's done," he declared, "I've had it done for weeks."
The captain, astonished, opened the notebook to the first page and read, "Our Flag Means Death: Adventure and Romance on the High Seas…?"
"You publish that under Lady Whistledown, and the fops back in London will eat it up."
The captain looked at Lucius in disbelief. "How did you manage to write this when you've been wasting your time with that fanfiction?"
"Oh, there's plenty to inspire on a pirate ship," Lucius remarked, "With everything I've seen, I could write eight, no, ten novels such as this! I've even started a memoir. Confessions of a Cabin Boy. What do you think?"
"Good," said the captain, snapping the notebook shut, "Since you've got all the research you need, you and I will head back to London, and you'll get started…"
"I can't leave now!" Lucius protested. "Stede and Blackbeard are together! Really together, I mean. Not just in my imagination. Do you know what that's going to do for my writing?"
The captain stared at his eager expression, the scowl on his face unchanging as he considered the move Lucius was proposing.
"Fine," he said after a few moments of careful thought, "But I'm not letting you out of my sight again. I'll stay aboard to keep an eye on your progress."
Lucius smirked at him, a mischievous twinkle appearing in his eye.
"Captain Nigel Badminton of His Majesty's Royal Navy… turned pirate? Now that's a good story!"
Bonus: And There Was Only One Bed
The storm-tossed sea rocked the ship violently back and forth. A less experienced sailor might have felt dread in the face of this angry tempest, but Blackbeard was unafraid. He had weathered worse storms without harm.
Though in his present circumstances, he wished they could have made port before the hurricane hit. His hammock, strung between two columns in the captain's cabin, swung like a mad pendulum with every pitch of the vessel. It wasn't quite enough to make him seasick, though he had banged against the wall once or twice.
"Ow! Fuck!" he exclaimed as a sudden dip caused his head to smack against one of the columns.
His cry was answered by another.
"Oh for God's sake, Edward! You're being ridiculous! Get out of that damn thing and just sleep here!"
Despite the commanding tone in which these words were spoken, Blackbeard hesitated. Though he had been sailing with Bonnet for several weeks now, this was the first time he had used his first name. Usually it was "Blackbeard" or even "Captain Teach." He was very formal, this Gentleman Pirate.
Blackbeard had tried to follow his example. Though they had agreed to co-captain the Fortune, he allowed Bonnet to take charge in most circumstances, and he issue of having only one bed in the captain's cabin had been no issue at all. Blackbeard insisted that he would be more comfortable in a cot.
"Takes me back to the early days of my career," he had said.
Bonnet didn't seem to buy it, but he allowed Blackbeard to have his own way, and the arrangement seemed an amenable one. Until the monsoon season hit.
The ship creaked and swayed as the storm raged on, but Blackbeard still hesitated.
"Where will you sleep?" he asked innocently.
Bonnet rolled his eyes and moved closer toward the cabin wall. "There's plenty of room here for the two of us, if you'd stop being so bloody stubborn!"
"I'm not being stub…" Blackbeard began, though his words were silenced by another tip of the ship's hull. He was less prepared for this one, and the sudden shift sent him tumbling to the floor.
"Edward!" cried Bonnet, instantly jumping from the bed and hurrying to help him to his feet. "See that? This is exactly what I'm talking about!"
"But won't you be uncomfortable if I…"
"Do you think I'm going to get a peaceful night's sleep with you knocking about? Just get into bed, already!"
It would be pointless to resist any further. Blackbeard allowed himself to be ushered to the bed, where Bonnet tucked him under the blankets before climbing in after him.
Blackbeard knew he'd never be able to fall asleep. He was far too nervous. His heart was hammering so loud that he was sure Bonnet would hear it, and yet it was Bonnet himself who placed him by his side!
"Edward?" Bonnet murmured, "Are you still awake?"
Ed could barely squeak out an affirmative. Bonnet, his back turned toward him, kindly asked, "Are you sure you didn't hurt yourself when you fell?"
"I'm fine."
Bonnet rolled over, perhaps to get a better look at him. Blackbeard tried to look anywhere else. He was embarrassed to be lying so close. Whatever Bonnet had said to the contrary, the bed was rather small.
"Are you glad that you stayed on the Fortune?" came Bonnet's abrupt question. "You could have gone with your crew. You'd have had your own bed, at least."
"I don't regret anything!" Blackbeard hastily replied. He was so anxious to assure Bonnet, he forgot his caution and rolled onto his side. It was a mistake. He was acutely aware of how close their faces were to each other now.
His discomfort must have shown in his expression, for Bonnet asked, "There's something else, isn't there? What's troubling you?"
Blackbeard couldn't very well tell him what was really on his mind at that moment. Bonnet might have thrown him out of the room in disgust. Instead, he settled for a partial truth, saying, "It's… The way you say my name. Just now, you called me Edward. You've never done that before."
Was Bonnet blushing? He couldn't be sure in the dark. Bonnet's tone wasn't giving anything away when he asked, "Do you not like it when I call you Edward?"
"No, it isn't that… I just thought… Maybe you could just call me Ed? Us being co-captains and all…"
"Ed," Bonnet said, as if testing how the name sounded as it rolled across his tongue. "I like it! Alright, from now on, Ed it is."
"And… Maybe I could start calling you Stede?" Blackbeard suggested shyly.
Even in the dim light of the cabin, he could see Bonnet's smile.
"I would love that."
Ed stared into Stede's tired eyes. It was taking every ounce of his self control not to kiss him. But he didn't want to spoil the moment. With a heavy sigh that could pass for a yawn, he settled for saying, "Goodnight, Stede."
"So, what do you think?"
Ed looked up at Lucius. The cabin boy was standing with his hands on his hips, impatiently waiting for him to finish reading the manuscript. Much to his chagrin, Ed set the pamphlet down and replied, "Bit anticlimactic, don't you think? Shouldn't we at least kiss or cuddle or something? Wake up in each other's arms?"
"It's a slow burn," Lucius protested. "The people want mutual pining. I can't just have the two of you pair off so easily!"
"But you've completely ruined my character!" grumbled Ed, "I'm supposed to be the cool one. It's Bonnet who acts nervous and unsure. Not me. I'm never afraid to make the first move…"
"But that's precisely what makes this scene so endearing!
"Who's endearing?" came a voice from behind the debating pair.
They turned to see Stede standing in the doorway, looking perplexed, though not surprised to see his cabin boy and his co-captain reviewing another pamphlet together.
"Oh, Lucius…" he said with an indulgent shake of his head, "Not another Whistledown? I thought you'd finished with that nonsense!"
"But I can't just leave it like it was! And since someone fancies himself a critic…"
He directed a sharp glance at Ed, who stared back at him unflinchingly. Before their spat could continue, however, Stede picked up the discarded parchment and said, "Well, what is it you've written this time?"
His practiced eye quickly skimmed the scene described by Lucius, and an amused smile spread across his face.
"Oh my, that's not how it happened at all…"
Lucius immediately snapped to attention. "How what happened?"
Stede merely shook his head, still smiling, and returned the manuscript to Lucius. Addressing Ed, he said, "If you're done here, there's work to do above deck. We're close to Barbados now, and I want to make sure everything's prepared."
"How what happened?" Lucius asked again, more urgent this time.
Stede, with a mischievous grin, asked, "Should we tell him, Ed?"
"No, Stede. I think we let him stew. See if fact really is better than fiction."
The co-captains, smirking with a conspiratorial air, left the cabin arm-in-arm. Lucius, cursing them, could not refrain from sitting down at the desk, his quill scribbling over the parchment as he furiously began making corrections.
