Category: Tolkien-Universe

Rating: M

Couples: Egalmoth/Rog, Maeglin/Salgant

Warnings: AU, canon-levels of Everything

Chapter: 5

Copyright: Characters & places © By Tolkien Estate and/or mynameisjessejk, Plot & OC´s © by me

Authors note: Set in the Otter(less) Mayhem Universe of abovementioned mynameisjessejk on AO3. Unofficial sequel to 'The House of the Mole'

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"I kill everyone I care for..." Tinnuion murmured into his mother's lap. He had woken a while ago, shortly before Tuor had returned with his patrol to having to inform them that at least the mountain-bit of the river no longer held the two Lords that had fallen. He had found one of their horses, but that mattered little. Shortly after him, the rest of the Lords arrived, having driven their horses almost as hard as Turgon had in the hopes of someone having saved their two friends while they were underway.

It was almost as if the wail of grief outside had woken him from his drug-induced slumber.

"No, you do not." Aredhel was staying with him, had barely left the room in fact. "It was an accident, Tinnuion. You could have done nothing for them."

"An accident they had because of me!" He screamed it, willing the pain to leave him. He almost craved the days when other elves had just been chess-pieces to him, because then this would not have hurt this much. "If they had not bothered to save me, they would not have died!"

An ugly sob tore from him, as he whined for relief from the heart-pain.

"They are not dead yet." The White Lady of the Noldor countered softly. "Not unless Mandos himself informs us of their arrival in his Halls once more... Not unless we find their bodies and no light is within them anymore."

"My parents are fated to die before me..." The young Lord of Gondolin murmured. "I ought to have remembered before I claimed more."

"Tinnu!"

"Am I wrong!?" He almost snarled it at her. "Eöl and you both died before me! I should have seen it coming that my new fathers would follow that trend!" He shrunk back down. "I should not have claimed them..." His voice was barely audible, pressed against her as his face was. "I should not have condemned them to fall as he did."

"My son..." She didn't try to say more for a time, for which he was grateful. There was nothing she could say. Instead she merely caressed his head and back, humming softly. He recalled the lullaby whose tune now filled the room. Those had been happier days, back before any darkness had tainted his life.

Suddenly it seemed the walls closed in on him. "I..." Trembling, he whined again.

"Don't leave the city." His mother understood him, in ways few others even now could. "Don't do something foolish."

He nodded sharply, clambering up and fleeing the room. Clutching the thin blanket he had been covered under, he ran almost blindly through the city before settling in one of the towers of Egalmoth's house. They had come here a few times, to look at the stars. Wrapping himself up, he looked out over the city to the green fields beyond its' outskirts. Unlike the Gondolin of Beleriand, this one had no city walls to demarcate an outer limit and as such sprawled out a fair bit more.

"Tinnuion?" He looked up sharply at the voice, eyes widening a bit at seeing Glorfindel near the top of the staircase that lead to this place. The golden-haired Lord had clearly bathed and dressed in clean clothes before coming here. They were not a full-on-mourning attire, but certainly greyer and more subdued than any outfit he had ever seen him in before aside from Aredhel's funeral way back when. "I figured you'd come here."

"How?" He watched warily as the lord sank down beside him.

"Egalmoth dragged all of us Lords here at least once, when he felt we needed to relax and just watch the stars for an evening or whole night." The Lord of the Golden Flower looked outside. "It's a calm and secure place. I am not sure even most of his House know it exists. Probably the only place you are guaranteed to have peace and quiet for a time."

He withdrew into his blanket for a bit, until noticing that Glorfindel was offering him an arm. With a soft whimper he tucked himself against the taller male, pressing his face against him. "It's all my fault..." New tears formed in his eyes, gritting his teeth so he would not start wailing again as they formed silver tracks on his cheeks.

"No. No, Tinnuion. None of this is your fault." The other arm gently wrapped around him as well. He didn't quite believe him, hearing the pain and grief in the other's voice very easily. "It was a horrible... horrible accident..."

"They could have left me... They could have saved themselves... I hadn't even noticed..." He felt himself be tugged closer to the larger body, hug tightening and cutting him off.

"They would never have done so." Came the soft answer. "Tinnuion... they loved you, both of them. They would never have chosen themselves over you." Just like his mother had, taking the javelin Eöl had cast at him. "They would not have forgiven themselves if you died before they did, not in all the Ages of the World still to come."

A sob tore itself from his throat.

"Erestor has send word to Elrond and his sons. They are coming here, and they are going to comb that river until they find them." Glorfindel informed him. "They will be found, Tinnuion, none of us will rest until they are."