Castis had never been disciplined before. In any other case, this would have been one of the worst things to ever happen to him. He might have ruminated in misery for days afterward, embarrassment pervading the core of his very being, aching to atone for whatever ill he had wrought. He probably wouldn't have shown his face to his peers for days, maybe even weeks.

And yet, here he was with only the vaguest hint of shame. That morning he had walked toward the supply cache with his head held high, maybe even a bounce in his step, and when he thought of the circumstances which led to his penalization, the full night he got to spend with her…

He had no regrets.

All day, he had inventoried the fort's surplus supplies and weapons, located in a large modular container stored outside the base. Normally this would be a simple, if not mundane, task but on Kaeus the blistering sun transformed the storage container into a literal oven. Castis cleaned and reassembled each weapon, piece of armor, and various radio equipment diligently until his fingers were numb and the heat had made him almost delirious. The only reprieve was reporting in hourly to the administration office where he would log his name and linger for a few minutes in the weather-controlled office before braving the container again. That, and his thoughts of the coming evening. The day seemed to pass both too slowly and too quickly as he fluctuated between excitement and crippling fear, his thoughts jumbled from the events of last night to their messages this morning replaying over and over as he performed his mind-numbing tasks. Before long, the day stretched into the evening and the time for guard duty was rapidly approaching. As he left the container, reeking of sweat and gun oil, his mind buzzed. Soon, she would be here. He would see her again.

Unless he didn't. Unless she changed her mind. Unless she was just messing with him. Unless she realized she made a massive error in judgment and now that he wasn't around, she didn't have to humor him anymore.

As he walked to his room to shower and change, he imagined her sitting in the bar, her newly attained rifle slung over her back, talking to a taller, more attractive turian who had successfully retrieved it for her. She was laughing and pulling them onto the dance floor. "And then I told him I'd show up tonight! Can you imagine? What an idiot."

He rubbed his temples. His own imagination was starting to stress him out. No, Marcella wouldn't do that. She….

His chest tightened. She liked him. And he trusted her. It was foolish, but he trusted her more than he had ever trusted anyone in such a short time. In all likelihood, she was just at her house or...wherever she lived, getting prepared. Maybe she was just as excited as he was, having the same kind of apprehensions. He imagined her nervously planning, maybe picking out something to wear, something to bring, her thoughts consuming her just as his thoughts had kept him company in the unrelenting heat-

No, she is definitely with someone more deserving of her having fun in a bar and you're a stupid idiot.


"Oof-!"

Marcella doubled over as a fist hit her right in the stomach and she hung slack from the large turian holding her arms. She groaned and looked up into the eyes of her attacker, an even larger turian, bulky and ugly. She panted, a laugh coming out between huffs or air. "You...hit like a Hanar - urgh-!"

Her assailant landed another blow to her gut. She gasped in pain but still chuckled, turning her head toward the other turian gripping her arms tight. "Maybe...you should be the one doing the punching...your friend here needs some pointers-"

"You think this is all a joke, huh?" A third figure watched them nonchalantly from against the wall. Despite his calm demeanor, his subvocals rumbled and his yellow eyes flashed in the dim light of the alley.

Marcella groaned, "Oh, Sulla...you know I only...wanna make you smile." Her gasps turned into another laugh. "L...let me guess, Grak set you up to this? How much...did he pay you?"

"Oh, I said I'd do it for free."

"Aw...you're not...still mad are you…?" She wheezed, her voice still laced with humor. It was answered with another swift punch to the gut. "Augh!"

"You should be thanking me," Sulla's expression remained characteristically neutral, the black markings around his chin and nose standing stark against his white plates. "I talked him out of having me break your fingers too."

"And by you...you mean your...little lackeys, right?" She nodded her head to the two silent turians, first the one holding her, then the one beating her to a pulp, both as calm and expressionless as their boss. What were their names again? She dully wondered if they ever actually said anything at all. "Can't hit me yourself? Oh, that's right…you're probably afraid...you'll break a nail-hrk!"

"You're lucky you usually pay your debts, or you'd be dead."

"What...can I say...I'm a keeper." She flashed him an impudent smile. It was met with a punch straight to the jaw.

"...Ow." She grimaced and spat a wad of dark blood. "Hey asshole, watch the face. I have a date tonight."


The last vestiges of the sun had dipped below the horizon and the fort's floodlights sprang on. The stars appeared like pinpricks in the blanket of the dark sky, irritatingly innumerable. Castis knelt, eyes flicking around a large diagram of the fort he had painstakingly sketched into the dirt with his claw. He had spent what little free time he had after work planning the night, from camera angles to the timing of his patrol laps to the exact place they could walk without being seen. Every little detail of the base was accounted for.

He stood up and dusted his hands off, looking out past the fort and toward the empty landscape. In a few minutes, he would have to get started. Normally, guard duty consisted of mindlessly circling the beige square of their base over and over again for hours watching for enemies that would never appear. It was tiring, boring, and lonely. But with Marcella...

He popped open his omni-tool and scrolled through his last sent messages.

C: Try to be here by sunset. Don't come too close, there are security cameras.

C: If you can't be here by sunset then be here right at nightfall.

C: I'm sorry, you can show up whenever you want it doesn't matter. Am I being too demanding?

C: Just let me know.

C: About when you're coming not about me being too demanding.

C: Unless I'm being too demanding then let me know and I'll stop.

She hadn't replied.

He wrinkled his nose and tried to clear his mind of self-deprecating thoughts, focusing instead on all the possible scenarios for the 28th time that day. Worst case: She doesn't show up, she's already forgotten you and you're an idiot. Best case: She shows up, professes her undying love to you and you both run off into the sunset free from all things and only belonging to each other - until you're hunted down and executed for desertion because you're still an idiot. Most likely case-

The familiar hum of an engine in the distance ripped him from his worries, his head jerking up so fast he nearly tweaked his neck. He sprinted out from behind the fort, huffing as he passed the main entrance. There was the hovercycle in the distance, kicking up clouds of dust and coming in fast. He continued running toward the bike, barely able to contain his excitement.

"Hey! Over here! Not too close-!" He shouted, gesturing frantically for her to stop.

The bike lurched to a halt in front of him, sending sand and specks of rock flying. It whirled into silence and slowly dropped to the ground as Marcella toggled a few switches. She leaned back in the seat, readjusted a large canvas bag she carried over her shoulder, and flashed him a quick smile. "Hey, you."

Castis felt his heart pound. He swallowed the lump on his throat. "Hey."

"Sorry I'm late. I got held up."

"Oh, no, that's o…"

He trailed off as he watched her carefully maneuver off the cycle, her movements stiff and awkward. She turned and walked toward him, wincing slightly, her footsteps falling uneven.

His blood froze in his veins as he took in her condition. Her mandible was bruised, there was a dark stain on her front and she kept clutching her stomach. "...What happened...!?"

"Oh, uh...you should see the other guy!" She chuckled awkwardly, trying to smile but only managing a small mandible twitch that seemed forced.

"Someone hurt you? Is that - is that because of yesterday-?!"

"Whaaaat? Nooooo!" Her tone wasn't even remotely convincing. "I just got in a scrape, it happens all the time-"

He felt himself get hot, fury igniting his chest. Who was it? The krogan? That guy that stopped them outside the bar? Any one of those people in that seedy place? Rage coursed down to his fingers. Unacceptable. He almost didn't recognize the voice that came out of him. "Who did this to you?"

Hey - hey - hey." She marched stiffly up to him and jabbed a finger into his chest. "I told you I can take care of myself. I know you're worried about me and seeing you get all worked up about it is kind of hot-"

"Wait, wha-"

"-but I'm fine, see?" She gave her mandible a light smack, only slightly wincing. "This is supposed to be a date, right?"

"But-"

"You promised me a date. No distractions." She gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder but her subvocals hummed in a tone that indicated this branch of discussion was over.

"I...alright." He attempted to swallow his anger. She obviously didn't want to talk about it and he wasn't going to force her but the idea of her getting hurt made his blood boil. He wouldn't let happen again.

With great effort, he tore his gaze away from the bruise. "So...the thing is", he turned toward the fort and beckoned her to follow, "I'm still on duty. You're not really supposed to be here...but I think I found a way to make it work."

As they walked closer to the entrance, Castis turned and led her around the side, giving the fort a wide berth until he reached a long thin line he had drawn into the dirt. "I have to patrol around the base consistently. We have to make sure that I'm seen by the cameras, but you are not."

They continued to walk along the line until they reached the rear of the outpost. The metal shipping container sat in the otherwise open perimeter of the garrison blocking the line of sight of nearby floodlights and casting long shadows into the dimly lit surroundings. "There are security cameras but they are fairly old and there are a few blindspots." Castis grimaced. Naturally, he would have noted the discrepancies and fixed them but in this case… "I figured if we just stay in those blind spots between my laps around the fort, then that's where we can...talk."

She followed him closely, taking in the faded lettering on the side of the base. "Hm, okay."

He came to a halt and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's...kind of complicated. That's why I drew this map." He pointed down at her feet.

"What? Oh-!" She looked down and finally noticed the large, elaborate map he had sketched neatly in the dirt. She moved her feet to the side, careful to avoid smearing any lines. "Huh."

"Here's the fort," He squatted and pointed toward the large square on the ground, then to the large building that towered over them. He shifted awkwardly, "...obviously..."

Ugh.

"—and here is each camera." He tapped at several points he had circled on the drawn outpost.

She kneeled down next to him and nodded. "Alright, gotcha."

"These circles here indicate what areas the cameras can 'see'", he pointed around the map, "There's one big blind spot behind the base that they don't hit. That's where we are right now. So, if we just walk between here," He got up and pointed at a line drawn into the ground next to them before trotting a few yards away, past the container and stopping just short of another drawn line. "-and here, we should be okay. We can spend a little bit together, then I take a lap and when I come back, we can just...continue where we left off."

She nodded slowly, "So...we only get a few minutes at a time?"

He sighed. It sounded so much more convoluted out loud. "If you change your mind and want to go, I understand."

"Are you kidding? This is perfect!" She gestured at the dark sky "A romantic walk under the stars."

He scoffed. "A very short walk. We'll basically be walking the same 20 paces over and over."

"Eh, it's fine." She jerked her head toward the large storage unit lying parallel to the backside of the fort. "What about that? Could we hang out in there?"

He shook his head. "That's the supply container. It holds the supplies and weapons of the whole fort. It would be too small for both of us." He sighed thinking of the hot hours he spent there toiling. "I've been cataloging in there all day. There are hundreds of guns-"

An expression quickly flashed across her face and disappeared before he could read it. "Hundreds, huh?"

"Yes, and various supplies—"

"And it's out of view of the cameras?"

"Um, yeah, this whole area between the lines is, but the container is locked and the inside is probably still really hot since it absorbed all the—"

"Yeah - interesting - say, it wouldn't happen to be a MasirTech laser lock, would it?"

"Um...I don't know. Why?"

"Just wondering - so you took inventory this morning?"

"Well, yes, but General Faldos demanded every single item be disassembled, cleaned, and counted. It took all day and I haven't even started on the pistols or rifles yet."

"...You haven't...counted...the rifles yet…" She said, slowly. Her face and tone were neutral, but her mandibles were twitching so fast they were practically vibrating.

"Yeah, uh…" He checked the time and bounced nervously on his feet. "I'm sorry, but I really need to get started. Just - stay here —"

She was still eyeing the container. "Yeah...no problem."

"I'll be right back-" He took off along the side of the fort as fast as his legs would carry him. For the next few minutes, he could only hear the rush of the night air and the sound of his own panting.

-Lap 1-

He rounded the last corner and she came back into view, leaning casually against the container. Almost too casually.

"Hey - s-sorry about that." He panted, coming to an abrupt halt in front of her. "What...what were you saying again?"

She flashed him a smile. "Hey, that was pretty quick! You gonna be that fast every time?"

Castis wheezed. He had done this patrol before and relished in seeing how fast he could complete a lap but nothing compared to how fast he had just sprinted. "...Probably not."

"Hm," Her eyes flicked to the container. "Good to know..."

"Huh?"

"So, you're gonna have to do that again in a bit?"

He groaned and straightened up. "...If you don't want to do this, it's okay. Really. We can reschedule."

"No way." Marcella chuckled, her mandibles flicking in amusement. "If I'm being honest, coming from you, this is pretty much what I expected."

"Oh…" He didn't know whether to be relieved or offended.

She must have sensed the hesitation in his voice. "No, I like it! It's different, we can think of it like...a bunch of micro-dates." She reached out and touched him lightly on the back, her fingers just grazing his shoulder blades. "It'll make our time together special."

Castis fought the urge to shiver. "...Really?"

"Sure - and hey, no awkward pauses. Don't you hate it when that happens? Whenever you feel an awkward lull in the conversation, you can just ...take a lap." She waved an arm vaguely toward the base before shedding her shoulder bag and rummaging through it. "And look, I even brought snacks!" She pulled out a long thin packet. "Protein paste!" She wiggled a tube at him. "See? Dinner date! It's all coming together."

"Oh! You didn't have to do that." He lowered his head respectfully and gave her an overly formal hum of gratitude. "Thank you."

She smirked. "Only the best for you."

He took the tube and immediately went to peel back its plastic wrapping.

"Oh, I was just kidding, you don't actually have to eat it —"

"Of course I will." He tore the top of the packaging delicately. He'd be damned if he didn't eat the food she was generous enough to provide. He lifted the tube and squeezed the sludge-y contents into his mouth. It oozed, thick and lukewarm on his tongue and he grimaced. It was mostly flavorless aside from a vague aftertaste of salt and soured meat.

She couldn't hide her amusement. "Gross, right?"

"No this is...good..." The paste coated his throat as he swallowed and it settled unpleasantly in his gut. He fought the urge to cough.

"Riiiight." She hummed incredulously and closed the bag, moving it back over her shoulder before turning back to him. Then she outstretched her hand and looked at him expectantly.

He held out the tube for her to take back.

She shook her head, mandibles pulling back into a small smile.

Castis was completely lost. "I...I don't have anything else to give you-"

"...How about your hand?"

Finally, it clicked. He looked at her hand, then to her face, a strange apprehension tickling the back of his neck. They were gonna get right into it then. A real date. Starting now. And if he messed up, that was it.

"A-already...?"

She paused, mandibles flicking and eyes narrowing. "...Okay, I know you wanted to officially start over but we can skip a few steps, right?"

"...Yes. Of course."

Slowly, he reached toward her hand, his fingers lightly grazing hers, and a warmth permeated his core. His heart practically leaped up into his throat and his chest tightened. He entwined his fingers into hers and their hands dropped, hanging between them.

This shouldn't be a big deal. They had held hands the previous night. In fact, they had done much more than that. But that was different. This wasn't a show to put on for an audience and it wasn't a spur-of-the-moment lapse in composure.

This was real.

No. This can't be real. It's too good to be real. He wanted to literally jump for joy. He wanted to throw up. His stomach lurched back and forth between the two extremes. Were they really doing this? Was this...how it was going to start? The two of them-

"You're not nervous, are you?" She teased.

"No." His thoughts plummeted back to reality and he looked forward, his posture rigid as though waiting for a command, his grip on her hand tight and stiff.

"It's okay." She shook his hand as if to relax it and gave it a light squeeze. "It's me."

Something in her words flitted through him and a tingly feeling raced up his arms. "Yeah, I...I know." With great restraint, he relaxed his shoulders, though the pressure in his chest persisted.

"You know, it's funny," she continued, "I feel like we've been through a lot in such a short amount of time."

"Yeah..." He put the packet of protein paste to his mouth and sucked at the flavorless sludge just to give him something to do.

"I mean, we already slept together, so-"

"HhhURK-"

The paste hit the back of his throat and he choked. He stumbled away from her grip, doubling over and squeezing his knees as he hacked his lungs out.

She clapped a hand over her mouth but her laugh escaped her fingers. "I'm sorry - I couldn't resist-!"

His words were mixed in with his coughing. "I - it's not - funny! I didn't mean - to fall asleep - ack - !"

"Oh - and I never knew you were such a cuddler-"

"Stop!"

"HAH - ohh -'' She flinched and grabbed her stomach as she laughed. "Aah, don't make me laugh, damn it, I'm barely holding together as it is!"

He inhaled deeply and stood up, his lungs still burning. He gave a few more weak coughs. "I - I have to get going."

She waved him off, still busting up, "S-sure, sure..."

-Lap 2-

"Welcome back." She held out her hand as he stopped in front of her, still panting. He stared at her outstretched hand and his heart pounded hard in his chest, both from the run and at the sight of it. The precedent had been set.

He only hesitated for a second before reaching out and taking her hand again. She gave it a little swing as their hands hung between them.

"So! Tell me about yourself."

His chest practically rattled. "Oh, uh, I was assigned here to work with-

"No, I know, I meant before that." She cocked her head. "Do you have a family? Where are you from?"

Castis tensed as he remembered their conversation from last night. He had planned on avoiding any talk about their pasts for her sake, though he also found the subject equally unpleasant. "We really don't have to talk about this."

"Hey, I spilled my guts for you - well, thanks to Grak - now, it's your turn." She gave him a quick glance, "I mean, only if you want to."

He hesitated, tugging at the hem of his uniform. "My life was...is...pretty boring..."

"Try me."

An uncomfortable feeling settled in his stomach. "There's...not much to talk about. I was raised on Palaven. It was just...school, training, more training...programs, the academy - all the education my parents could afford and," he sighed, "absolutely zero real-life experiences."

"Hm." She nodded slowly. "Well, good of your parents to do that for you, right?"

"Yes. I owe them a lot."

"Is it really owing if they're your parents?"

Castis didn't answer. A loud buzzing was filling his ears. He felt her hand shift a little in his.

"...Hey, we don't have to talk about this, let's-"

"No, no, it's fine." He cleared his throat. "My family life was...fine." You can do this.

"Do you still talk to them?"

"...They're both gone."

"Oh." He felt her hand squeeze his. "I'm sorry."

There was another long pause. Castis's neck felt hot, the hand that wasn't holding hers clenched and unclenched, itching to be joined by his other.

Marcella leaned forward, her voice soft. "...It's okay, you can take a lap and we can just start over-"

"No, it's fine!" He said a little too loudly before clearing his throat again and readjusting his tone. "It was fine. We weren't...close. My parents were older. Much older. I think I was more of an afterthought just so they could have someone to leave everything to. They were very..." he set his jaw, trying to think of the right word. "very…."

Castis was sitting on a chair in front of a cafe he didn't know the name of across the street from where his father worked. His short legs dangled off the chair as he watched the city's gardener tend the large swath of flowers in front of the columned government building.

The gardener was working diligently the whole time with some kind of tool in hand, constantly pruning, prodding, and plucking. His uniform was filthy and worn and the plates on his face were etched with deep lines and cracks. The flowers bloomed beautifully, a sea of reds and reds among silver leaves, a testament to their caretaker who crawled among them, head bent, all knees, and elbows.

Every so often, the man would pop up from his garden, and just look out upon the small patch of foliage for a few minutes. He would put down his tools and sit in his garden world hidden amongst the hustle of the government workers.

On this particular day, during one of his momentary respites, the man happened to turn his head toward Castis, sitting in his chair across the street. The gardener had smiled, lifted a dirt-covered glove, and waved. Before Castis could even think to wave back or respond in any way at all, the man's head was back down among his own kind.

When Castis's father finally walked out of the building and past the man and his flowers, he stopped and regarded them silently, the first time he had ever acknowledged their presence. After a moment, his father turned and walked briskly across the street to Castis on his seat.

"Son." his father addressed him as he always did, never by his name. It was never meant as a warm statement of familial bonding, it was just a fact. "Do you see that man over there?"

"Yes, sir." Castis jumped off his chair and stood tall as his small stature would allow. He only ever spoke to his father with quiet limited words, but this time a rousing feeling was in his belly and he couldn't contain his excitement. He struggled with the words. "He's always there - and I see him - and today he waved at - "

His father knelt and dug his claws into Castis's shoulder until the fabric of his shirt snagged until it hurt. His jaw was set, eyes wide into Castis's, making him shake at the suddenness of his movements.

"That man has nothing. He is nothing. Don't be that man."

"...traditional."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." The unpleasant feeling in his stomach grew. He didn't like to dwell on his upbringing and his feelings about it were usually shoved down somewhere deep. There was always some weird new pain to uncover. "They expected a lot from me. Standards to meet, reputations to hold and...very archaic worldviews."

Marcella gave his hand another sympathetic squeeze. "That sounds...rough."

Castis rubbed his neck. Thinking about it at this moment had made him come to terms with a truth he hadn't even realized until now.

"I respected them but I didn't love them."

"Hm." was all she said.

-Lap 8-

"Look, all I'm saying-"

"I can't believe you're still on me about this-"

"-is that cycles carry a significant risk of head injury-

Marcella threw her head back and whined. "Come oooon-"

"-and you need to wear a helmet while riding - why are you so against this?!" Castis threw out his hand in disbelief.

"It's just - not a big deal!"

"It's the rules!"

She shot him a look and pulled her mandibles into a wide, evil grin. "Rules were made to be broken."

Pure outrage was etched on Castis's face and he recoiled as if he had been struck. "...I hate everything about that sentence!"

She laughed and shook her head, crinkling her nose in a way that made his stomach flip-flop. "Whatever you say, tu'vra."

Castis furrowed his brow plates. He didn't understand that word but it sounded familiar. Suddenly, he remembered. "You've called me that before."

"Hm?"

"At the bar. 'Tu'vra'."

"Oh, uh, I guess I did." She snickered. "Sorry, old habit."

"What does it mean?"

"Something not-terrible, I hope. I think it's supposed to be endearing? It's Asari."

"Oh, really? And it didn't translate?" Castis had no experience with alien language but it still fascinated him. Before his head got too wrapped up in the mechanizations of universal translators he remembered something else she said before, something about dark skies. Was that Asari too? "Interesting…"

"Yeah." Marcella's mandibles flicked mischievously. "Someone used to call me that all the time."

His back stiffened. He had only seen Asari in pictures and heard the stories. According to what he knew, they were known to be very...

He shot her a sideways look. "Have you...spent a lot of time with Asari?"

She slowly turned toward him with a sly smile that said everything. "...Yeah. You could say that."

"...I see."

"Jealous?"

"Of course not!" Castis's posture somehow became even more rigid. "Your affairs are none of my business. Not - not that it's an affair - but I-"

"Don't worry, it was a long time ago."

"I'm not…" He averted her eyes, turning to look out on the horizon. "...'worried'..."

"Good, because you don't need to be." He heard her affectionate rumbles and felt her hand squeeze his. His stomach flip-flopped again.

-Lap 12-

"Okay, favorite food."

"Umm..." Castis hesitated. He'd never really had any preferences, he ate what was in front of him and went on to more important things. "….sometimes in the mess hall they would serve this spongy cake thing with a tangy sauce on it. That was pretty good…?"

She tilted her head and nodded. "Hm, okay, fair enough."

"How about you?"

Her eyes flicked down to the thin plastic tube she had been holding and sucking on sparingly. "...Anything but protein paste."

Before he could register the tone in her voice, she had piped up again. "Favorite color?"

"Uh…" He flicked his mandibles nervously. Every aspect of himself seemed to evaporate like he was a blank slate with no personality at all. All he ever focused on was training or work - or training for work - and memorizing facts no one else seemed to care about. He could tell her when, where and how long the Battle of Keltrus was but he couldn't tell her his favorite damn color. "...You first."

She paused for a moment and a faraway look flashed across her eyes. "...Orange."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." She looked at him pointedly. "And yours is…?"

"...I guess...gray?"

She gave him a sideways look and smirked. "Gray."

"It - I don't know - it's a good versatile color! It goes with everything!" Castis made a frustrated noise and squeezed his hands, a wave of embarrassment washing over him. "I know, I'm...dull."

She smiled wide at him, browplates furrowed and subvocals incredulous. "Cas, you're talking to someone whose hobby is growing grass."

"I know, but..."

"There's no right answer to what your favorite hobby is. Just be yourself" She gave him a small nudge. "And, for the record, I like what I've seen so far."

His breath caught in his throat. She turned and purred reassuringly at him, her eyes shining bright blue in the dark.

Castis felt his chest squeeze. "Actually...blue."

"Hm?"

"...I like blue."

-Lap 23-

"...Nevermind, it's pretty boring and I'm pretty sure I already told you this-"

"No, it's okay." Marcella chuckled, "Why don't you go ahead and talk about it again because uh, full disclosure, I wasn't really listening the first time."

Castis took a deep breath. Summarize. Don't bore her to death.

"So...during the Unification War, deep-space orbital refueling stations were easy prey to hit-and-run or suicide attacks and the most cost-effective method to counter these tactics was to build your refueling station on a solid ground and storing the fuel deep under the surface of a moon or planetoid and Keaus had the closest proximity to the system's mass relay, so it was the perfect place for a heavily armored refueling station and…" Castis grimaced, giving her an apologetic look.

Marcella nodded encouragingly.

"...and so the outposts around here, including Audax, were built to protect the station and secure the perimeter and make sure it's not overrun by…" He shook his head, unable to continue. "Let's just talk about something else, you don't care about it-"

"So what? You obviously do." She gave him a nudge. "That's good enough for me."

"...I...uh..."

"It seems pretty deserted though," she continued, "Last time I was in there, I didn't really see anyone else. Well, besides your shi - uh, boss."

Castis shook his head. "Truth be told, there's only a handful of men. I came with Fedorian and a small team to keep it running and train under the general."

"Huh. So, it's just you, your friend, and that general guy and a handful of randoms? For the whole place?"

He paused. "...You're...not gonna tell anyone how undermanned our fort is, are you?" It meant to come out more as a joke, but the nervous timbre of his voice gave it away.

Marcella smirked. "Naaah, it's okay you can trust…" A sour look suddenly crossed her face and her voice faltered. She averted her eyes. "...me."

Castis was resolute. "I absolutely do."

That only seemed to make her more withdrawn. "...Yeah." She readjusted the strap of the bag on her shoulder which looked strangely bulkier than what he remembered. She rummaged for something in her jacket pocket and took out her flask, lifting it to her mouth for a small sip.

"More water for the garden?"

She stared ahead, shuddering at the taste. "Not this time."

Castis shifted awkwardly, noting the change in mood. He gave her hand a weak squeeze and attempted to change the subject. "...You know, if you like gardens, you'd love the Presidium."

She seemed to perk up. "Where's that?"

"You know, on the Citadel?"

She let out a harsh laugh and rolled her eyes. "The Citadel. Pfft, yeah, okay."

"...What's the matter? You've never been?"

She scoffed. "Yeah, maybe in my wildest dreams. It's so far out of my league it might as well not exist."

Castis was taken aback. "It's not - it's for everyone, you don't have to be - "

"Cas," She looked at him pointedly, swirling the liquid in her flask. "...people like me don't make it to the Citadel."

"That's..." His stomach sank at the implication. "...no. Nonsense, you deserve to go, you'd love it. I...would take you."

"Hm, promises, promises." Her mandibles twitched half-heartedly and she sighed. "Just tell me...is it as beautiful as it sounds?"

"Well...I only went when I was very young. I hardly remember." He put his hand to his chin, trying to piece together the vague memories. "All I remember was the Presidium. It was so bright and it had...some kind of giant atrium, full of plants-"

Her head snapped up. "Really?"

"Yes, there was a room where the ceiling was just flowers and it...seemed to glow. Then you go out and there was a big open area with flowers and trees from all of the council races home planets and even some from -"

She stopped and turned toward him, releasing her grip from his hand and digging her fingers into his shoulders in a playfully dramatic fashion.

"Okay, you're right, I have to see this. You said you'd take me there, right? You need to take me. Promise me." Her eyes lit up, subharmonics rumbling in an odd tone, half-joking, half-serious. "Promise!

His chest swelled and he spoke with conviction. "I promise."

- Lap 38 -

"Would it have worked?"

"I don't know! But the whole squad mutinied so-"

"Wait, wait, wait - I thought you said 'a good turian follows bad orders'?"

"Exactly!" Castis shook his free hand, fire in his eyes. "That's how terrible of a general he was! And then he has the audacity to write a book about HOW TO WIN WARS!" He shouted so loud it echoed slightly off the walls of the base.

He swallowed and cleared his throat awkwardly. "...Sorry."

Marcella's mandibles were clamped to her face, desperately trying to hold in a laugh. "And you told her this?"

"Yes, and she tried to kill me in the middle of the dance hall!"

Her efforts to hold it in were failing. "And - and you didn't know who she was?"

"No! How could I have?!"

A loud giggle escaped her causing her to wince slightly, tenderly touching her stomach. "Well, she sounds like a total...I mean, she probably wasn't gonna be any fun anyway."

Castis drooped his shoulders with a long sigh. "...Yeah, I suppose not."

Her laugh trailed off and she sighed almost wistfully. She squeezed his hand tighter and brought her other hand over to his upper arm, wrapping it around his bicep, and leaned her head until it lightly touched his shoulder. She looked up at him and sighed. "Ah, I wish I could've been there..."

Castis's stomach squeezed. He Imagined her there in that stark white hall, looking stunning in a pressed formal uniform and looking at him the way she was now. They would have entered, arm in arm, not having to worry about finding some partner to talk to. They would have shared fizzy drinks while she joked about how stuffy and formal everything was and he went on about the history of the academy. They would have danced all night, her patiently leading him through his bumbling missteps, but never disparaging him, laughing and twirling just like in the bar. It would have been a cherished memory instead of a horrific nightmare.

Slowly, hesitantly, he lifted his other hand and placed it over hers. "...I wish you could've been there, too."

-Lap 56-

"-and then he was like "what do you mean it's dextro?!' and he threw up everywhere!" Marcella snorted "Ahh, I miss that guy sometimes, he was pretty funny for a Batarian."

"Hm, I've only heard bad things about Batarians. Aren't they mostly pirates and raiders?"

"...Well, thanks to their government, they're not allowed to leave the confines of their own system so some leave to live their own lives. Yeah, some choose to be criminals, but most of the ones who leave are just trying to get by on their own."

"...Really?"

"Yeah." She smiled but her subvocals rumbled in barely-concealed judgment.

Castis shuffled his feet and averted his eyes in slight shame. "Sorry, I just...don't have a lot of experience with aliens…"

Marcella smirked. "Clearly."

"...Is it offensive to call them aliens? I don't know, I've heard stories, the Hierarchy always paints them as...I know they can be barbaric and disorderly-"

"Cas!" She jerked on his hand, making him stumble. "They're just people! Like you and me. Don't believe the stories"

He scoffed. "I don't know, the warnings about Krogan seemed pretty accurate."

"Oh, pfft, I told you, they're nothing to fuss about." She pointed to the faint scars on her cheekplate. "See these? Krogan."

He narrowed his eyes, his gaze tracing the thin lines that curved up her face. "No way."

She winked. "Way. Do you have any scars?"

"Um, yeah." He lifted his chin and pointed to a pebbled patch of skin slightly discolored from the rest on his neck under his left mandible.

"Ooh, nice." She cocked her head to get a better look. "How'd you get that?"

"Um…"

Castis wasn't a liar. At least he wasn't until recently.

"...Sparring. In basic."

"Ah, so you're not invincible."

He bristled a little in indignation. "...I've never lost."

"Except that time." She jabbed a finger toward his neck and looked smug.

Castis frowned, a low growl rumbling in his throat. He hadn't practiced day in and day out for years just to pretend he was bad at close quarters combat to a woman he was trying to impress. In the end, his pride won out.

The words came out in a rush. "When I was eight, I was in a youth festival to test fitness aptitude and when we were lined up at the starting line for the relay the starting pistol jammed and I mistook the sound for the shot and started to go but immediately realized it was a false start so I tried to stop but tripped and fell and pierced my jaw on a sharp rock and I was disqualified and all the other kids laughed at me and I cried my eyes out."

Her eyes went wide and though a flash of amusement crossed her face, she sounded genuinely sympathetic. "What?! Aww! That's awful, I'm so sorry!"

He clenched his jaw, feeling himself get hot. "Yeah...well…"

"That's not fair - why was there a rock on the track?!"

"It was - it was a really small rock, it was just sharp and - and -" He pinched his nose and took a deep breath. Even after all these years, thinking about it was torture.

She bent forward, leaning in for a closer look. "And you bled a lot? It must have been deep!"

"Hmmm…" Castis tilted his head back to give her a better look at his shame. "They had to stop everything and lead me out and…" He let out a long, miserable sigh.

"Aww, poor thing-" Suddenly, she leaned into his neck and gave the mark a quick and affectionate bump with her nose and mouth. His whole body jerked and a small involuntary squeak escaped him.

"Ah - I - eh...!"

She leaned back. "...What?"

Heat rose in his face and he shrunk into his shoulders, hands practically locked together. "You...I mean…you just…"

"What?" Marcella flashed him a confused smile. "All I did was...I mean we already…?"

Her head jerked back and her eyes went wide. A smile crept across her face and she gave herself a light but joke-y tap on the forehead. "Oh, yeaaaah! We're 'starting over'. I'm sorry, I forgot." She gave him a smirk and raised her hands in a mock defensive matter, taking an exaggerated step away from him. "Let's go back. Ahem. You were saying?"

He continued to stare, mandibles clamped to his face, the scar on his throat still tingling.

-Lap 65-

"She single-handedly held them off for 4 days, until every single one of the colonists could escape."

Marcella stared with rapt attention. "That's amazing."

"She's barely in the history books but she left behind her journals. Strategies and anecdotes. Even a few recordings. I listened to them so much as a child I used to know them by heart." Castis's mind drifted, remembering her voice, gentle but firm, the voice of a true commander.

"But you never got to meet her?"

"...No. Her squad was ambushed during a raid and she succumbed to her injuries. It happened when my father was young and he never spoke of her."

He felt Marcella squeeze his hand, her subvocals purring gently. "That's too bad...Your grandmother sounds incredible."

"She was." He could see it, as though it was only yesterday, her footlocker full of datapads, recordings, and scribblings he had snuck from his father's cache, the way he used to lie and stare at the ceiling and imagine she was right next to him telling her stories before bedtime. "I used to pretend she was my -"

The words caught in his throat and he swallowed but something compelled him to continue."...I...she just... felt more like my mother than...my...actual mother." He regretted it as soon as he said it.

"Oh. Wow."

An unpleasant coldness trailed up his spine and he felt….exposed. She held that part of him now. He clutched his hand to his chest as if to cover up some kind of nakedness. "...I've never told anyone that before. Ever."

Something square and gray eked into his peripheral vision. He blinked and his eyes darted to the metal flask Marcella was cautiously holding up to him.

She raised her browplates and gave it a little shake.

Without even thinking about it, he snatched the flask and took a gulp.

"Wait - not that much - !" She sputtered.

White-hot liquid splashed into his throat, igniting the roof of his mouth. No, it wasn't hot but it was burning - horrible - blistering -

He spat out the liquid in a mist. "AAUGH!"

Marcella cringed, her hands hovering uselessly. "I'm so sorry - I should have warned you - "

"I - it - it's- !" The words couldn't leave his mouth, everything burned. He swore he could feel his tongue sizzling. In desperation, he threw himself to the ground and started rubbing dirt on his tongue.

"C - Cas!"

The burning was finally subsiding and he spat flecks of sand out on the ground. "That...was not alcohol. That had to have been jet fuel."

She hid a smile behind her fingers. "That stuff is ...particularly hard, you gotta take small sips. I really am sorry though, you seemed like you needed it."

"Ugh." He got up off his hands and knees, dusting off his uniform and wiping his mouth. How many times was he planning on embarrassing himself tonight? "That was...stupid on my part. I don't drink."

She opened her mouth then closed it with a scoff, shaking her head in disbelief. "You really are just...Turian Poster Boy, aren't you." Despite her teasing, her tone rumbled in affection. "You don't drink, you don't curse-"

Castis felt indignant. "I curse!"

"I haven't heard you curse once."

"I say...you know…" He gave a quick look around then lowered his voice an octave. "...damn."

Her mandibles clamped to the sides of her face as she seemed to fight the urge to laugh. "Say a curse right now."

"...No."

She nodded and made a smug noise of affirmation. "Mm-hm!"

"It's unprofessional!"

"Oh come on, say something like, like, say - "

The next word out of her mouth was a filthy and vicious curse that he had only heard once when a private accidentally backed a truck over his drill sergeant's feet.

Castis recoiled in shock. "Wha-!"

"Say that."

"Absolutely not!"

"Hah!" She threw her head back onto her shoulders as she laughed, squeezing his hand and pulling him to her. Her other hand snaked up his chest and he froze, his breath caught in his throat.

"You're so wound up, I just wanna…!" She paused and leaned back, chuckling slightly, eyes narrowed and smile wide. "No." She seemed to be talking to herself more than to him. "Save it…"

Castis's swallowed hard, his heart practically in his throat."...I have to go...again..."

She released him but was still giving him that look. "Uh-huh..."

-Lap 72-

Castis's muscles ached and his eyes itched with tiredness but he felt as wide-awake as he had ever been. But even so, his long day and now long night were taking their toll. Every lap, he had become slower and slower, practically doubling his time, no matter how much he longed to see her again. His determination was slowly being undermined by pure exhaustion.

Marcella had gotten slower too, her eyes drooped and her feet dragged on the ground. Practically every sentence was started with a stifled yawn.

"Ah…" She stretched an arm above her head. "Not gonna lie, I'm feeling kinda beat."

Castis blinked a little too slowly. "Welcome to guard duty."

"My feet hurt." She hummed a small whine and leaned against his shoulder. "Carry me?"

"Carry you?"

Marcella frowned and brought a finger to her chin in a mock contemplative expression. "Hmm, that's odd, didn't seem to have a problem with it the other day..."

"...Alright, hop on."

He turned and heard her snicker as she placed her hands on his shoulders, jumping on his back and wrapping her legs around his waist. She was quite a bit heavier than he remembered but then again he was physically drained. He clenched his fists and tried to ignore the fluttering in his chest that seemed to be a constant throughout the night. This whole thing had been a whirlwind of emotions.

"Ah, that's better." Her voice was muffled as she stifled another yawn. "How many laps do you think we have done?"

"'We'?"

"Heh, fine, you, whatever -"

"72." He answered automatically.

There was a pause. "Wow, you kept track?"

He snapped his mouth shut. Haven't you embarrassed yourself enough tonight?

Growling, he rubbed his eyes as his head sluggishly ran the numbers. 72 laps, multiplied by his average time...divided by...no that couldn't be right...He popped open his omni-tool and checked the time.

Six hours?!

He had gone overtime and didn't even notice. It had seemed like no time at all - how was the night already almost over?

"I'm...done."

"Wait, what? Already? No…" He felt her weight shift and saw a faint glow of orange as she toggled her own omni-tool. "Woooow."

"I have to turn in." His heart sank at the thought of their date being over. Despite making a fool out of himself for half the time, it was the most fun he'd had in...spirits, years?

"Aw, I guess I'll go then."

His shoulders drooped but not from exhaustion. "...I don't have to turn in right now...I can wait a few more minutes til you're-"

"No, it's fine, I'll go..." But even so, she didn't move, only turning her head to rest it more comfortably against his back.

His heart began to thump loudly and the gears of his mind turned. "Maybe...you shouldn't. It's late and you're tired so it wouldn't be safe to...uh..."

"Oh? Hmmm...but where would I stay…?" The teasing lilt in her voice didn't go unnoticed.

Castis chewed his tongue, feet shuffling, fists clenching even as he held her legs. He remembered the burning thoughts from yesterday.

She's gonna be in my room. Alone. With me

"I guess you could...stay...in...my bunk…."

She let out a hum in his ear that rattled his whole body. "I like where this is going..."

"Not- ! I'll sleep on the floor!" His neck burned in embarrassment.

She rumbled sleepily against his back, already starting to drift off. "Hm...I thought you said there were cameras..."

Castis paused. "Well, yes...I guess I could always...just…"

A little voice that he had mostly dismissed for the past few days finally rang in his head, impossible to ignore.

Really? You're gonna tamper with security footage? Are you insane? What exactly has gotten into you? Lying. Going AWOL. Shirking your duty and for what? For a girl? What the hell are you doing?

Castis frowned and steeled himself In defiance of his own thoughts. It wasn't against the rules to bring someone to your room when you were off-duty. But that was before he got reprimanded and Faldos was already stringent enough about matters he considered 'distractions'. He would lose his mind if he found out, especially considering Castis was supposed to be punished in the first place.

A punishment you deserve.

It was true but...General Faldos wasn't always right. If he followed his every order Marcella would be-

"Not gonna lie, a bed does sound nice…" Her voice was practically a whisper. She didn't sound at all capable of operating a vehicle.

Castis set his jaw. Enough, the decision had been made."...I'll take you to my room."

You're really doing this, aren't you?

He felt her body move and the breath of another yawn. "Well, whatever works…"

Castis readjusted her weight before purposely walking around the front of the fort, squinting against the floodlights, in only a few hours he'd have to get up again, but that was the least of his concerns.

Though there was no point hiding from the cameras, he jogged toward the entrance, staying close to his drawn lines and keeping in whatever shadows he could find. As they came upon the entrance and he punched the numbers on the keypad, his eyes flicked up to the little black hole that was recording him and his unauthorized guest. He made a mental note to deal with it later and, to his surprise, he felt only the faintest hint of guilt. He stared at it almost defiantly as the door buzzed and slid open with the sharp noise of sliding metal. He moved quickly, whisking them down the dim halls, and appearing in front of the door to his quarters in no time at all.

Huffing in exhaustion from her weight and his sore legs he scanned his ID for his own room where after a pause the door slid open and the lights flicked bright into his sparse room.

A long breath heaved out of his chest as he squatted and released his grip around her legs

She let out a mumbled whine of protest as she slid off his back, rubbing her eyes and rolling her shoulders. "Is this it?"

"It's not much…"

She blinked at the brightness. "It's very…" Her eyes flicked around to the small cot, the blank walls, the practically bare shelves, and the tiny sliver above his bed that was a sad excuse for a window. "...clean." She walked over to a bunch of data pads lined neatly on his desk and picked one up.

"'The Epoch of Socioeconomic Hostilities in the Novolion Sector.'" she read, her mandibles twitching in a smirk,"...Fun."

"Yeah, well…"

She tossed it back haphazardly on the desk before moving to his impeccably made bed. The bed groaned slightly as she pressed into it with her hands. "Ooh, it's pretty soft. Kind of small though."

"Mm." He walked toward his desk and nudged the side of the datapad with his finger, straightening it back to its original position. "The cot is all I have. I'm sorry, it's not the best."

She shrugged and plopped on the bed, stretching out her legs. "Hey, I sleep in dirt, I'm not picky." The bed groaned again as she propped her head up with one arm and gave him an almost sly expression.

There was a brief pause as Castis stared at her lying all too casually on his bed.

"...Okay, well...there you go." He said lamely. "Good night." He looked around for the most comfortable part of the floor to curl up on before heading toward the lights.

"You know..."

Castis paused and turned toward her, finger still hovering over the light switch. "What?"

"It's just funny…" She hadn't moved from her original position, stretched out, and propped up on one elbow, her other hand drumming the space next to her with her fingers. She was giving him a long look. "...I'm just not feeling particularly tired anymore."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." There was a strange emphasis in her subvocals as she looked at him expectantly, flicking her mandibles into a small smile.

He waited for her to continue but she just laid there as though expecting something to happen. Castis blinked at her, confusion evident on his face. She was practically falling asleep when they got here. The bed seemed comfortable enough for her, surely she was tired but she just kept looking at him, what was she waiting for-

OH.

He went rigid, the glass of his reality cracking suddenly and violently. His stomach lurched in a nauseating mix of excitement and blind terror and he fought the urge to wring his hands, keeping his fists at his sides, clenched painfully. This was it.

She was waiting for him to make a move.

He swallowed hard and took a breath, his voice squeaking out. "Do...you...want...to…"

She raised her eyebrow plates and tilted her head forward.

His jaw clenched and his hands shook.

You can do this. Please, don't blow this! You can do it! Please! PLEASE!

"...watch a vid?"

I HATE YOU.

Marcella blinked, slightly taken aback but she smiled wider and gave a small nod. "Uh, sure! What do you have?"

A long sigh escaped the sides of his mouth as he reluctantly pulled up his omni-tool and perused his limited collection of vids. Might as well show her the classic.

"I have a good one. It's my favorite actually…"

"Oh, neat." She sat up and stretched her arms above her head, legs mussing up his pristine sheets as she folded them under her. "Just as long as it's not, I don't know, a war movie or something."

Castis went rigid and his mandibles clamped to the sides of his face. His heart sank as his finger hovered over a small picture of two angry-looking turians wielding large guns with the words A War To Remember splashed on top.

"...Of course not."

"Ah, good."

He swiped through the files desperately. "Um...what did you want to watch again...?"

"I thought you said you had one of your favorites?"

"...I did." He swiped through the pictures at warp speed, passing My First War, A War To End All Wars, A Simple War-

"Is it a romance?" She teased.

"…Yes." His finger was starting to hurt.

"You wouldn't happen to have One Night in Taetrus would you?" She chuckled. "I'm kidding, don't look that one up, you'd probably faint."

He made a weak noise of acknowledgment now desperately just looking at the pictures. Guns, guns, a platoon standing in formation, more guns, another formation, a battlefield, more guns -

He paused, hovering over a picture of a turian couple holding hands and looking at each other with stupid, sappy faces. Perfect.

"This one - it's, uh, it's this one." Without reading the title, he tapped on the picture, linking it to the small screen at the opposite end of the wall.

"Alright!" She scooched over as much as she could and gave the space beside her a pat.

A little hesitantly, Castis turned off the lights and eased himself on the bed next to her, maintaining a close but respectful distance. Hopefully, the vid would at least put him in a relaxing but courageous mood. Worst comes to worst they just fall asleep like they did last night. That wouldn't be so bad.

The vid started off normally enough. A turian man was tending a shop when eventually his female partner comes and discusses plans for a date. The acting left a lot to be desired and the dialogue seemed oddly stilted and clinical. But the weirdest part was that a voice that had obviously been dubbed over in post kept interrupting with some kind of commentary.

"Of course. Tonight most assuredly. We can copulate." the male was saying. The actor clearly wasn't giving it his all.

The dubbed voice chimed in. "MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT."

Castis felt his stomach sink lower and lower by the second. He started to really wish he had read the title.

"That would be acceptable, Callum." the female replied. "I am ovulating."

She gave him a weirdly stilted pat on the shoulder

"GENTLE TOUCHING." the voice said.

"...um...Cas?"

"...Y...yeah?" Castis squeaked.

"...I don't think this is a romance vid."

"...Yeah." He answered, miserably.

"I think it's…" Marcella leaned in, hands gripping the edge of the bed. "A documentary? No...an instructional video?" She cocked her head, eyes squinting at the alien writing slowly scrolling across the bottom video."...for...I think that's...Salarian?"

Castis slowly tucked in his legs tighter and his head lowered down toward shoulders as if to hide in his cowl. "...Yeah."

"You can also tell because of the, uh, commentary."

"Yeah." He couldn't seem to say anything else. At that moment, a cartoon salarian head had popped up on the side of a very detailed diagram of turian anatomy. Its voice was high-pitched and shrill but the translator could still pick up that it was listing all the different terms for genitals.

"Well," Castis mustered all his courage and pushed himself up off the bed as Marcella snorted behind him. "I'm just gonna go ahead and, uh, turn this off-"

The diagram disappeared and changed to a very mortifying scene. The cartoon head continued. "Now they are ready to begin their mating-"

"OKAY-" Castis popped open his tool and fumbled with the controls but it was taking too long to respond."That's quite enough-"

Marcella was starting to lose it. "W - Wait - it's finally getting good!"

The vid displayed an obscene action as the tinny voice spoke up. "He inserts his-"

"No!" Castis launched himself at the screen and his ears rang as Marcella's laughter filled the room.

The tinny voice was still narrating as Castis attempted to shield the small screen with his body while he fiddled with the vidset. Nothing seemed to work. In sheer desperation, he started punching it."Turn off - turn off - turn off-!"

"Oh - oh - th - this your favorite vid?" Marcella was laughing so hard she could barely get the words out. "Ahh- oww, oh, spirits, my stomach…!"

"No!"

"You know that - that really explains a lot -"

"Noooo!"

Mercifully, the vid finally blipped to black and Casts let out a groan. He pressed his eyes with his fingers until he saw spots while his skin under his plates burned. You are the worst.

"...I'm...sorry." He spoke slowly, trying to force himself to calm down as the wave of embarrassment practically drowned him. "I...thought...it was a romance vid...this station just has a bunch I- I downloaded them all...I...didn't…." He took a deep breath and tried to maintain some kind of composure. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

"Pffffft!" Marcellafell into a fit of giggles. "No, no that was - I wasn't - that was amazing. That was just... ah," She wiped her eyes, her shoulders still shaking, "Spirits, the look on your face - ow" Her voice faltered as she started to laugh again, and she flopped onto her back clutching her stomach.

Castis turned meekly, peeking out at her between his fingers. He had never seen her so happy. The wave started to recede.

After a few more snorts and silent giggles, she let out a long sigh. "Ohhh Cas, I...I can't tell you how much I needed that..."

His hands fell together, grasping and twisting, as he slowly shuffled his way back to the bed. "...Yeah?"

She huffed out a final laugh and craned her neck, meeting his eye. "Yeah...thanks."

The bed squeaked and groaned as he sank slowly into the space next to her feet. His mandibles twitched slightly. "Well...good."

"We really need to do this again sometime. I take it you have a lot of random vids to organize?"

He sighed and nodded, rubbing his temples in frustration. "361. All compiled from different people stationed here. There must have been a curious salarian at one point…"

"Three-hun…?" She paused for a moment before pushing herself up onto her knees. She looked over at the black screen, then back at him, staring intently as though piecing some kind of puzzle together.

"...Hey, Cas?"

"Hm?"

Her eyes flicked over to his desk, then back to him. "How many datapads are on your desk?"

He didn't bother to look. "9."

After a beat, he froze, eyes snapping open. Why did she just ask that…?

His stomach churned as he saw her nod slowly, her mandibles flicking almost excitedly as though something was being confirmed. She leaned a little forward, taking in the small tiles that patterned the floor. She sat back up.

"How many tiles are on the floor?"

There was a long silence. He felt a numbing pain in his fingers before he looked down and realized he was squeezing them.

You can just pretend not to know

No. That wasn't an option. "1,524."

As her smile went up, his stomach went down.

"How many…" She glanced up at the tiny window above his bed, showcasing stars against a backdrop of black. She grinned wide. "...stars are in the sky?"

At this, Castis exploded, an old frustration rearing its ugly head. " I don't know!" He slammed his fists hard onto his thighs, "And it haunts me!"

Marcella jumped at the outburst, her eyes wide in a flash of fear that made him suddenly wish he was never born. Then something crossed her face, something akin to frustration, or it could have even been disgust. She turned away and put a hand on her cheek. A long sigh hissed out of her mouth. "...oof."

His stomach twisted and curdled. A numbing tingle ached in his fingers and his throat clamped painfully shut.

Of all the secrets, all the facts and idiosyncrasies and memories he had shared with her, this one...this was the one that hurt the most.

The numbers. It was such an ingrained and integral part of his being, he couldn't function without it. For as long as he could remember, it had been there. He had counted everything, every single thing. He couldn't have stopped even if he wanted to. But he hadn't and he didn't because it had never bothered him because….it was his, and his alone.

But not anymore. There it was. Like the last curtain to be lifted. He had revealed himself truly and fully to her and she saw him and she was looking at him like that and it was just as horrific and painful as he imagined.

I knew it. I knew it.

"...Okay, there's got to be a way to count them all." She said finally, looking back at him with her browplates furrowed in determination.

"...Huh?" He choked out.

"Would the number of stars in the planet's visible section of sky be okay or are you talking about, like, every single star in the galaxy?" Her hand slid down to her chin. "Because that one might be a little tougher."

He blinked, mouth slightly agape. "I...uh…"

"I mean, it seems impossible, but somebody had to calculate it right?" She squinted at him as though waiting for some feedback. "Surely…?"

Castis had nothing.

"...Damn. Well, that's okay, maybe we can figure something ou-"

He leaned forward, catching her in the mouth as the word stuck in her throat. At any other time, he might have been baffled at his own desperate behavior but it just didn't matter. His blood was boiling and she was more than he could have ever imagined.

For only the briefest of seconds, she hesitated, until he felt her hands snake around his waist, pulling herself flush to his body. "Ugh..." she sighed into his mouth. "Finally..."

Castis didn't have time to catch his breath before he felt his back hit the bed. A weight pressed on him and he looked up at her dark silhouette, a familiar sight from the night before. But this time, he only pulled her closer, fiery courage burning in his chest. And when she yanked at the clasps on his uniform, he didn't tell her to stop.