Because I don't think someone who spent 66 days (I did the math) as an unwilling puppet for the enemy would be comfortable with someone he cares about volunteering to be put in a similar situation, even if the puppeteer is on their side.

I really should have spent this time working on 'Chichi no Tsumi', but the new season has been putting me in a 'Young Justice' angst headspace, especially everything Gar's going through.

Despite the fact that it's not finished, this has some references to my upcoming fic 'Fear is How I Fall' (which I actually started first, but I wanted to get this out before whenever the new episodes come this spring), although I'm doing my best to avoid spoiling my own work. However, I do have a sneak peek at the bottom, for anyone who's interested.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'Young Justice', or any of its characters. Also, all the Spanish in this fic is from Google Translate, so I cannot guarantee its accuracy.

WORD COUNT: 2748


HOLLYWOOD
May 20, 16:50PDT
TEAM YEAR TEN

It actually took Traci six days after the whole Child Disaster to tell her boyfriend the news. She was exhausted from fighting the Child and her familiar, he was exhausted from dealing with the rescue efforts that continued for days after the Lord of Chaos was banished from the Earth. Not to mention, she had also been busy spending days convincing her father that she would be okay, that it was only for one week out of every four. These factors, coupled with the fact that they were still living separately, meant that she didn't see Jaime until the day before she had to don the helmet.

She didn't know what she was expecting from him. Pride? Possibly. She could always count on him to be genuinely happy for her when she made another step forward in mastering her magic. Worry? Jaime was also the protective type, though thankfully not in an overbearing way.

"You agreed to what?!"

(At least, not usually.)

She wasn't expecting him to be angry. "I'm helping Zatanna free her father by becoming Dr. Fate one week a month. I'll still have the other three weeks to live my own life, and I know it won't be easy, but-"

"'Won't be easy'?! You're volunteering to become some ancient spirit's puppet on a regular basis! Maldición, why the hell would you think that's a good idea?! Why didn't you say anything to me earlier?!"

Traci was admittedly stunned silent by his anger initially, but she soon rallied. "I don't need your permission to do this, Jaime! And it's not like I had a chance to tell you until now!"

"What, you couldn't call, or text? You were totally fine with waiting nearly a week before saying 'Oh, by the way, I'm heading off tomorrow to spend a week enslaved by some haunted helmet that doesn't care in the long run if I live or die!'"

"God, why are you making such a big deal about this?!"

"You're seriously asking that question?!"

"HEY!"

The shout stopped both of them in their tracks, as they were abruptly reminded that they were screaming at each other in the middle of the Hub. What looked like nearly all the permanent residents (minus Garfield, whose continued isolation was worrying everyone) and most of the non-resident Outsiders were staring at them, with Cassie at the front, her hands on her hips and her face looking distinctly unamused.

"Mind taking this elsewhere, you two?" she snapped, "We've got another Outsiders mission, and we were just about to brief."

Traci sighed aggravatedly. "I need to get a few things taken care of before tomorrow, anyway. I'll see you guys next week."

Jaime scowled, clearly not liking that she wasn't changing her mind. "Yeah, fine," he spat bitterly, "See you."

There were several seconds of awkward silence, broken only by the whirring of the Zeta Tube as she exited, then Cassie called the Outsiders' attention back to her while the non-Outsiders either went back to whatever they were doing before or hung around to listen and offer opinions before the team shipped out.

Bart quietly nudged an obviously-upset Jaime. "Dude, I get why you're upset," he murmured.

Jaime huffed. "You're probably the only one."

"No, I'm pretty sure Tim, Cassie, and Virgil all got it the moment the word 'puppet' left your lips."

'The Kid Flash speaks true, Jaime Reyes,' the Scarab chimed in, for once actually agreeing with Bart, which was quite a rarity.

Jaime sighed heavily. Of course, those who were around when he was on-Mode – and for his resulting breakdown weeks later – would know what he was talking about. "I just wish she got it, too. I mean, sure, she wasn't there for any of that mess, but I've talked to her a lot about it, and I just wish she could make the connection like you did."

"Well, at least Fate is on our side. That's one major difference."

"I know, but that doesn't make me feel any better."

"You might want to tell her that before she puts that helmet on tomorrow."

"…I'll try to catch her before she heads to Manhattan in the evening. If I go now, we'll just end up screaming at each other again."


MANHATTAN
May 28, 23:16EDT
TEAM YEAR TEN

Unfortunately, Jaime didn't manage to catch his girlfriend in time to intercept her before Khalid passed the Helmet of Fate on to her. Her fellow apprentice had sadly mentioned that Traci had still been pretty irritated when she put the Helmet on, although she hadn't specified whether it was over Jaime's reaction or something else.

Traci or Khalid also must have said something about their fight to Zatanna, because Jaime got no less than three texts and two calls from the magician the following day, and even more in the days after.

He ignored all of them.

He did not, however, ignore the unexpected message from Zatara – someone Jaime had never really spoken to, given that Nabu had been in the driver's seat literally every time they interacted. And so he found himself standing on a rooftop in Manhattan eight days after the argument, waiting for Fate to arrive for the next handoff, a tense silence hanging between him and the other person waiting with him.

Not that the silence lasted long.

"Jaime, are you going to give me the cold shoulder all night?" Zatanna asked. She'd gotten her two weeks of time with her father, but now it was her turn to take up his reluctant mantle, which meant waiting to do the handoff with Traci's boyfriend, who was currently not very pleased with her. "Look, I know you're not happy with this arrangement, but it's Traci's choice-"

"She's just gone through a whole week with no choice, no say in anything!" Jaime whirled around, giving her a good look at the dark circles under his eyes and the way his fists were shaking at his sides. "You've said yourself that being Doctor Fate is being Nabu's prisoner, his puppet, like being the Reach's puppet when I was on-Mode, and you know damn well what that did to me!"

Zatanna's eyes widened as she no doubt recalled the conversation they had years ago…


"You don't have to do this, you know," Jaime sighed, accepting the bowl of soup nonetheless. His parents and his sister were off at Milagro's summer league soccer game, Tye was on a date with Asami, and the Team was off on a mission in Santa Prisca, so Zatanna had volunteered to come over and stay with him. It wasn't like no one trusted him not to do anything stupid if left alone, but they all knew that Jaime coped better with someone watching his back when his roller-coaster levels of paranoia were at their highest. "You already put all that work into getting me off-Mode in the first place."

Zatanna sat down across from him. "And you've thanked me about ten times for that, now. I'm here because I want to be." With that matter-of-fact statement, she dug into the soup she had just made, and Jaime decided to just shut up and eat.

It was good; Zatana said it had been a recipe passed down through her mother's side of the family. They sat and ate in relative silence for a few minutes, a silence that was soon broken by Zatanna.

"So, how have you been holding up?"

Automatically, Jaime squeezed his spoon handle in a white-knuckled grip. He'd been getting that question a lot these past few weeks, but Zatanna seemed to be asking it at regular intervals whenever they interacted. "About as well as when you asked me an hour ago," he snapped, before immediately feeling bad about it. He knew that everyone just wanted to help him get through this hell, so he shouldn't begrudge them that. Still, he hated feeling so damn fragile, as accurate as that seemed to be, at times. "Sorry."

Zatanna stared down at her half-finished bowl. "No, I'm sorry. I guess I have been asking you that a lot. It's just that…" She sighed. "I guess I'm kind of invested in knowing how you're doing. It's… God, how do I explain this?"

"What, you're that interested in knowing what traumatized wreck looks like?"

Zatanna shot him one of those stern-yet-pitying 'You're being too hard on yourself again' looks that he'd been getting almost as frequently as the queries on how he's doing. "That's not it. It's…" She sighed yet again. "It's about my dad."

Jaime knew the basic details of Giovanni Zatara's situation: he was a member of the League who had been hosting the spirit in the Helmet of Fate for nearly six years, now, and that he didn't get to take a break from it often – or at all, really. A cold feeling settled in his gut, his mind starting to make the connections.

"My father hasn't been free of Nabu for years. He's been stuck inside his own body while someone else is in the driver's seat since I was fourteen. I tried freeing him, about a month after he first put that damned thing on, but Fate's magic stopped me. He only put it on to save me from that- well, that fate, no pun intended. The guilt and the anger nearly ate me alive on a daily basis. When Nightwing came to me for help saving you, I jumped at the chance, not just because we had to stop the Reach, or because you were a good person who needed our help, but because at least I could do something to help someone in a similar situation to my dad. Helping you… It's given me hope that someday, I'll be able to save him. But he's been trapped by Fate for a long time, and I know that's going to stay with him, even after I free him. That's why I've volunteered to spend time with you so often. I know it's selfish, but I just…"

"You just want to know what you'll be dealing with, once he's freed."


Jaime had to take a deep breath before continuing. "You had to know, when you made your plan, that you were putting your helpers at risk of suffering just like I did. And then you went and asked my girlfriend to be part of that. Honestly, I don't know who I'm angrier at right now: her, for signing on for this mad plan, and not connecting the dots despite the sheer number of times I've confided in her, and how many bad days she's seen me going through in the past two years, or you, who had to know, because you were fucking there, and you went through with it, anyway!"

Zatanna looked down at her shoes, guilt written all over her face, but before she could say anything in response, a glowing yellow ankh appeared between them and to Jaime's left. Less than a second, later, a blue-and-gold-clad figure in a helmet and cape walked through it, and it was a it of a shock for Jaime, who had seen Doctor Fate plenty of times at the Watchtower, to take in the fact that that was Traci, even though the figure in question was clearly shorter than the Doctor Fate he was used to, had a distinctly feminine figure, and sported long, brown hair flowing out from under her Helmet.

Fate gave Jaime a quick glance, then turned away dismissively to address Zatanna. "It is time for you to fulfill your bargain."

"I know," she responded curtly, "Why else would I be here?"

Jaime couldn't help but both agree with her frosty attitude and feel affronted by it at the same time.

Fate's eyes – Traci's eyes – narrowed irritably at her answer, but didn't do anything besides reach up and lift the Helmet off her head.

Jaime let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding when Fate's uniform faded away and his girlfriend properly appeared in front of him. Traci frowned at the sight of him, first looking annoyed, then said annoyance shifting to worry as she took in his appearance.

(He was well aware that he looked like crap right now. Lack of sleep tended to do that to a person.)

"Hey," she cautiously.

"Hey," he replied with just as much hesitation in his own voice.

Zatanna stepped forward, clearly still on edge from both the clear tension between the couple and Jaime's earlier recriminations. "So… You two should talk – really talk, I mean. Not yelling at each other in the middle of the Hub… And… I am sorry, Jaime. Really, I am."

Traci opened her mouth, most likely to ask her what she meant by that, but Zatanna put the helmet on before she could say anything.

Doctor Fate flew off without a word, leaving the two young adults standing awkwardly alone on the rooftop.

"I'm sorry." Both spoke at the exact same time, and Traci motioned for Jaime to go first.

"I'm sorry I got so worked up," Jaime apologised, "I mean, I'm still not happy about it at all, but I shouldn't have yelled at you about it. It's just…" He sighed, running a shaking hand through his hair. "This whole situation brings up… a lot of bad memories for me."

Traci winced. "I know. I mean, I didn't even think about it back then, and I wish I had. It never really occurred to me until I got into an argument with Nabu two days in. Blackbriar Thorn was causing this huge disaster, and Nabu wanted to ignore the people who were already in danger and focus on defeating him first. That was when I thought about the arguments with Scarab, and how you said it was even worse when you two first started out. It didn't take me more than a few seconds to make the connection to when the Reach put you on-Mode. I could reason with Fate, but the Reach…"

"Went out of their way to be anything but reasonable. And I know Nabu is on our side, but I've heard stories of how he had to be talked into letting his hosts go, not caring about their own lives, or the people left behind. Zatanna even compared the situation, especially with her father having already been his… captive… for five years by the time the Reach got me. Just thinking about the same thing happening to you- It just-"

Even now, the familiar feeling of panic constricted his chest, and he tried to force it down. A set of warm arms wrapped around him, and he leaned into his girlfriend's embrace, focusing on the breathing exercises Black Canary taught him years ago.

"Do you want me to stop doing this?" Traci murmured after about a minute of quiet.

Jaime sighed. "I wish I could say yes. But I remember how excited you were about this, and it's not my place to tell you yes or no. Just… If it seems like Nabu is overstepping the agreement one too many times, then draw a line in the sand… Decide how far you're willing to let it go, and don't let anyone say otherwise if you decide it's too much. And… If he pulls anything like what you were talking about earlier… I'm always here to talk about it. I do have some experience with this crap, after all."

Traci huffed a wet-sounding half-laugh before finally pulling away. "I'll take you up on that. As long as you make sure to get some sleep while I'm away. Whatever you need to do to feel better. I don't want to push you back because of this. You've got something set up for that, right?"

Jaime smiled weakly. "Virgil was making noises about restarting the old 'Traumatised Superhero Sleepover' tradition after I showed up looking like a zombie yesterday. Between me and how Gar's been acting, lately, he's not exactly facing much resistance."

She frowned, no doubt at the mention of the friend they were all worried about. "That sounds like a good idea. But for now, I promised my dad I'd come straight home as soon as Fate let me go. You up to crashing Father-Daughter Movie Night?"


He was.

And if he fell asleep ten minutes in, safe in the knowledge that his girlfriend was whole and healthy in his arms, then no one was going to say anything.

THE END


Wow, this ended up a lot longer than I thought it would be. Not that I'm new to that happening. It was just supposed to be Jaime and Traci's fight, then them making up, but the long-ish Jaime-Zatanna talk somehow snuck itself in there.

Does Traci need her boyfriend's permission to make this decision? No. Is Jaime required to be perfectly okay with the fact that his girlfriend is voluntarily walking into a situation that pushes his trauma buttons? (Because he absolutely has trauma.) Also no. Is he allowed to feel betrayed by the fact that Zatanna, the one who previously freed him from his original trauma, is also the one who brought Traci into this button-pushing situation? Yes.

And now for the preview of 'Fear is How I Fall':

"Jaime?"

He blinked, and suddenly, he was back on the stairs, rather than sitting at the table. His hand was holding the rail in a death-grip that had his muscles aching, and his knees felt like jelly.

His father had also moved from the dinner table to the bottom of the stairs, and was looking at him in concern. "Jaime, is everything alright?"

'No. No, no, don't ask that, they'll kill you!' "I- I- I- I'm fine!" Jaime gasped, his chest tightening painfully. "L-look, I'm not that hungry right now." It was true; the nausea curling in his gut made him feel like he might throw up at any second. "Tell M-Ma to start dinner without me." And he turned and stumbled back up the stairs. His legs almost gave out halfway to his room, but he caught himself on the wall and kept going.

He couldn't breathe.

The story, which was originally planned as a long one-shot, will be divided into at least six chapters. I'm on Chapter 5 right now, but I won't be posting until I have everything written. My new job has been sucking up a lot of my time (but yay, getting paid more than minimum wage for a career that took 5 years of uni and two certificate programs to qualify for!); however, I've been trying to get something up before the end of February (other than Evil Author Day), and I've gotten stuck on the climax of 'Chichi no Tsumi', which has technically been up at the top of my official priority list for over a year.