Short fic divided into two chapters for 4th May (May the Fourth be with you)

This is a semi-crack fic. Characters may be a bit OOC.

Hope you enjoy it!

Distributing orders around the Executor, battling and dealing with Sidious's bullshit - that's what the everyday life of Darth Vader looked like. Sleep was not included as that was when his shields weren't the strongest, and his Master could penetrate them easier and torture him when he slept with the images of his Padme. Padme. Thinking about her was not going to bring her back. Vader composed his mind again and continued to walk on the empty starship as everyone was off duty and back to their home planets for a few days, which meant Vader was on a short break.

As he walked, he stopped abruptly as he noticed one of the droids responsible for delivering packages to personnel from family and such things. Vader could tell the box was not from his Master because whenever he was on break, Sidious didn't bother to contact him unless a Rebel cell decided to get active somewhere, and sending a package was more than that. Vader got to the droid, grabbed the package, and went to his quarters.

After closer inspection of the box, Vader concluded with loathing what the package was. He has been receiving those since the month he became Vader. That was twenty years ago. He had so many boxes containing lava lamps in his Mustafar castle that he needed one of his other establishments to hold the rest, which said a lot for the amount. And the thing those boxes contained was a gross misuse of resources to create an abomination that shouldn't exist – the lava lamp.

Vader remembered the first time he received it. The wounds from Mustafar were still raw. It was one day after his first bacta tank session. He remembered the surprise and anger when he was shown a mysterious package from an anonymous messenger. He expected a Data chip on Sidious's plans so he could kill him easier or something useful and what he got was an orange-red lava lamp. His fury from receiving such a thing rivaled the hate he experienced when he got himself chopped and barbequed by Kenobi. He went on a full rampage, the Dark Side possessing him and destroying a big part of his castle. Word traveled to Sidious, which went from disappointment masked in anger to an hours-long session full of sith lightning. Vader then tried to get rid of the lamp, which didn't sound hard, but the lava lamp was cursed and indestructible. First, he wanted to slice it with his lightsaber, which was unsuccessful. He tried tossing it in the lava river, and for a while, he didn't see it, which pleased him. Still, then some few days later, the lamp returned and waited for him in the middle of the Empty hall, which sent him into rage mode, trying to get rid of it for the third time, but he soon gave up and s stored it in one of the dungeons so he won't see it.

Everything was going to be ok because it was one but soon started to get six, seven, twenty, thirty. Vader was pissed and tried tracking the site the one who sent those packages used, and it led to a dead trail, which pissed him off. He would have been very impressed by such hiding and coding skills if not for the damned lava lamps. Sometimes he thought his Master was the one behind this because he was the one who fought him on a lava planet for Force's sake, but Vader tried to be logical. Kenobi was a Jedi in hiding, and the Empire would easily detect such frivolity, and his former Master wasn't the most Tech-savvy person out there and preferred not to be too invested in it. But if he was, that man indeed was the king of trolling and evading, not that he would ever say it out loud.

Thankfully the messenger always had the mind to send the lamps either to Mustafar or the Executor. The latter left him to groan as he had to sidestep quickly because some noisy personnel on his ship enjoyed discussing possible rumors and theories about the packages he received. Vader could always get rid of them but was under direct orders unless the victim was a possible Rebel sympathizer. Then he had complete freedom to do as he pleases.

Vader sighed, feeling tired, and called the same droid that got him the package and ordered it to send it to one of the other establishments like usual. After the droid left, he went to the dome in his quarters. His mask was removed, and he breathed air without it. Then Vader relaxed in his dome before Sidious would call him again and do his bidding.