"I take it you all received the same message?" Kurt asked the group as one by one they all began entering the Class VII ARCUS group video conference.

"Indeed we did." Jusis answered for the newest arrival. "Although I cannot fathom how we all managed to find the free time to do this in the middle of the day, especially on such short notice."

It was Alisa who let out a sigh. "Well the message didn't leave much room for debate. 'Massive world-changing news, cancel all plans and connect as soon as possible!' I believe it said. Thankfully Sharon was available to take my place in an important meeting this afternoon, but still..."

"Sure, but our definition of world changing news is different from hers, isn't it?" Although it couldn't actually be seen over a video conference, it was painfully obvious that Juna was glancing at the guest in their midst as she said that.

Vivi looked inordinately pleased with herself as she watched the Class VII byplay silently. "So are you going to tell us what this is all about or not?" It was Machias who asked the question that was on all of their minds.

"Soon enough." She reassured, her grin widening even further. "Just waiting for the last few stragglers."

Assuming all of Class VII was coming, that just meant Rean, Fie, Crow, and Sara. Actually, that number was reduced by one as the grinning face of Crow Armbrust appeared on screen. "Yo. Who's excited for the big news?" Unlike the majority of the group who seemed exasperated to be there, the former criminal was a beacon of joy.

"Well, if nothing else we can safely assume that the news isn't anything immediately worrisome, given your reluctance to share it..." Despite the reassuring words, Gaius looked somewhat nervous for some reason, almost as if he had an inkling as to what the bombshell Vivi was about to drop on them was.

"It's gonna be the same stupid shit as always." Despite the comment, the fact that Ash, who was one of the first people to connect, was just as interested in the stupid shit as the rest of them, even if he didn't express it.

"Haha... Probably." The musician of Class VII rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "If nothing else it's always great to get together as a group like this, even if it's just with our ARCUS." The assembled group made it their mission to stay in contact as much as possible, but even the weekly group chats were often missing a few people as real life had a bad habit of getting in their way.

Musse let out a giggle. "And I'm sure the news will be positively scandalous." Given that the two most responsible for Class VII's gossip the past week were missing the duchess had high hopes for this upcoming revelation.

After a few minutes of standard small-talk there was a chime signaling a new arrival. This time it was the instructor of the original Class VII. "Sorry I'm late. You didn't give me much time to take care of it, you know? Thankfully Toval helped me figure something out."

Now that was interesting. Vivi clapped her hands excitedly. "So they're gone?"

"Yup. Found some requests that will take them near the Crossbell border. I doubt they'll be back before nightfall."

"I think we all had our suspicions and I am merely stating the obvious, but this is about Rean and Fie, isn't it?"

The prankster grinned at Jusis's question. "Yup, yup! It took a little work, but your favorite journalist has managed to uncover their hidden secret!"

A brief silence descended among the group. Although nobody spoke aloud, their thoughts were mostly all running on a similar wavelength. On one hand, this was a serious breach of their friend's privacy, but on the other hand... "Adios forgive me, but I really want to know." Emma muttered in dismay.

Luckily for the two absent bracers, there was someone willing to come to their rescue. "Seriously? Don't you all have better things to do with your lives?"

"Nuh-uh, Allie. You don't get to ride on that high horse. Not when you've been a part of their little secret." Normally she would be able to ignore Juna's protests, but the fact that nearly everyone else in the group was voicing their support behind her words was rather deflating.

Not everyone was, however. "I agree with Altina. We should respect their privacy." Hearing the calm words from Gaius was enough to dampen their enthusiasm and make them feel a little guil-

"That's rich, coming from the guy who's known their secret the entire time, isn't it?" Vivi let out a malicious smirk as she completely destroyed the Nord warrior with a simple statement.

"What?"

"Gaius?!"

"Traitor!"

"I thought you were on our side!"

"I, uh..." Gaius tried to say something in his defense, but for the first time in ages words failed to come to him. Upon realizing that, he hung his head in shame as the criticisms rolled in from all angles.

Once again Vivi found herself a spectator to the infinite shenanigans of Class VII. These past four years have been by far the most entertaining of her life. But the time for fun was over. It was now time to get down to business. "As you've figured out. I have the answers you seek. So let's make a deal." Of course just because it was business didn't mean it couldn't also be fun.

Her final statement caused some worry to seep through the crowd. The saying 'Making a deal with the devil' felt applicable to this instance. "What do you want? Mira?"

"It's a tempting offer, considering this group probably has as much wealth as a small country, but nah." Some members of Class VII shifted awkwardly at that pointed observation of their wealth. "What I want is something far far more interesting..." If there ever was a time to trail off for dramatic effect, it was right here right now.

"Seriously? Just get on with it."

She wasn't at all bothered by the annoyed complaint. "What I want are exclusive interviews with each and every one of you!"

"Huh?" Although the individual reaction varied, the sentiment was the same. Clearly not a single one of them had expected that kind of request, which she thought was silly considering who was here.

"Think about it." She explained. "In this room we have half of the Empire's Great Houses, the heiress of the Reinford Group, One of Zemuria's most popular musicians, the leader of the ILF, a member of the SSS, the man who shot the Emperor, some famous swordmasters, and so on. Not to mention you all are the beloved Thor's Military Academy Class VII. People want to know all about you guys, and it's my job to bring that info to them!"

Once again an awkward silence descended on the group, both as they reflected upon the perils of their own fame and as they quietly reflected upon her offer."

"...You idiots can't seriously be considering her offer, can you?" It was Ash who broke the silence. "There's no way I'm gonna end up in that gossip rag as 'the man who shot the Emperor'."

A few others looked equally pained as they thought about how bad any article involving them would be... but it didn't take a genius to notice that those few were heavily outweighed as the rest of Class VII seriously considered the offer.

"Oooh! That sounds fun! I'll let you interview me anytime!" Not to mention a certain White Rabbit who was more than ready to comply.

Very few people were actually surprised by that quick agreement, although a few did roll their eyes, Jusis facepalmed, and Altina simply lowered her hat over her eyes as if blocking out the image was enough to make her forget they were sisters. "Haha! Thanks, Millium!" And Vivi was already looking forward to it. "So how about it?"

"W-Wait. Why would we agree to this when we don't know what the information is?" Laura put up one final feeble defense.

"That's fair." The journalist conceded easily. "You guys are all honorable. If you don't think the news is worth it you can call the whole deal off." Although someone like Crow might not care about the appeal to their honor, for the vast majority it was a fair concession. "But let's face it. News that they have been going out of their way to keep from you guys? Deep down you know you need it." Her grin grew positively devilish. "...All you need to do is say yes."

Once again all grew silent as nearly each and every member of Class VII glanced around nervously. The only ones who didn't were the two already in the know, who simply appeared resigned to it all. Everyone knew the end result, but nobody wanted to be the first to agree, as doing so felt akin to betraying the trust of the two friends in question...

"Damnit! Fine! I'll do it!" Inevitably, someone had to crack, and nearly as inevitably it was Juna Crawford who did so first. The Crossbellian hung her head low in shame, but had a wild, desperate look to her face.

"In that case, I accept."

"It pains me to agree, but curiosity compels me."

"Hurry up and tell us!"

"Well, whatever. It should be worth a laugh, if nothing else."

With Juna having opened the proverbial floodgate the others were quick to accept. While not everyone verbally assented, there was no dissent among the group. With each and every affirmation the prankster's grin grew wider and wider.

"Well, there you have it." It was Sara who summed it all up. "Whatever dirt you have on Fie and Rean, we're willing to pay the price. So out with it!"

"Heehee. This is gonna be so awesome. Oh, but one final thing..." There were many grumblings as she dragged it out even further. "Whatever happens, they cannot know you got this from me. Fie has only just started to forgive me for spilling the news on their engagement and I'm pretty sure she would actually murder me if that happened again. Plus I might have employed some... questionable methods to find this info." In other words, whatever she had done was highly illegal. That earned her a few raised eyes. "You guys have no right looking at me like that! How many governments have you overthrown?"

"Fine, whatever. Just get on with it."

Instead of immediately speaking, the center of attention started tapping away at her ARCUS unit. "Since you guys aren't gonna believe me, I'm sending all of you the picture of the document I took as evidence." With a flourish she pushed the 'send' button and unleashed Gehenna upon the world. "What you see in front of you is a medical document announcing the pregnancy of Fie Claussell."

The reaction was about what she had expected: A deafening silence. Some appeared to be frantically reading the picture she sent them while others just stared slack-jawed. Altina merely buried her face in her hands and let out a long suffering sigh. "So, what do you think? Worth the price, right?"

Eventually it was Gaius who broke the silence, clearly having been less surprised than the others, thus making his guilt all the more apparent. "Did you... dress up like Linde and steal medical documents from her clinic?" There was a loud gasp from his end of the ARCUS that didn't belong to him at all. Oh, right. Linde was with him, wasn't she? She had kinda forgotten about that. Actually, if she strained her ears she now thought she heard her sister cussing her out rather loudly in the background. "Needless to say, she isn't very happy with you right now." Yeah, she gathered that. Not looking forward to that conversation at all, but it was still worth it.

"WHAAAAAAAT!?" Juna was the first to recover from the news, although calling it a recover might be a bit of an exaggeration. "Fie is...!?" The younger girl couldn't even bring herself to say it.

"I had my suspicions, but even still..." For once even the normally unflappable Musse seemed to be at a loss.

"Wait." Sara interjected after everyone calmed down a bit. "That can't be true. Bleublanc said-" Realization dawned on the older woman's face as she finally understood her mistake in trusting the enforcer. "Son of a bitch!"

The others pondered on her words while the bracer fumed in anger. "Wait." Kurt piped in. "Does that mean all of Ouroboros found out before us?"

"Do they not trust us?" Elliot sounded hurt and for good reason. Some of the others clearly shared in his sentiment.

"That's not entirely true, is it? There's one person they already told..." Although it wasn't something easily noticed over the screens, every pair of eyes glanced to the visage of the one Emma was referencing.

The black rabbit gave a small shrug. "I don't know. Maybe they just trust me more?" Although she kept up her usual apathetic expression, all present knew her well enough to feel the sheer smug radiating off the tiny girl.

Naturally, nobody was happy about it. "That's stupid! Why would they trust you and not the rest of-" Juna's rant was cut off as they heard the sound of a door opening behind her and voices speaking to her. "Oh, sorry Tio, Elie. I didn't mean to yell so loudly. But guess what? Fie's pregnant!"

"I'm starting to see why they didn't tell us." Jusis deadpanned when the Crossbellian flushed scarlet as she realized her slip-up in immediately spreading the secret to others.

"Oh, were we not supposed to let others know?" Millium asked in honest confusion. "'Cause I already messaged Claire and Lechter. It was fun knowing something that they didn't for a change."

"Don't worry about it." Sara reassured the recently revived girl. "As soon as we're done here I plan on contacting Toval, Estelle, Agate, Arios, and every other bracer I can find to let them know. Those brats deserve nothing less."

There was a collective sigh among Class VII as they all know fully understand exactly why they were kept in the dark. Crow looked rather amused by everything. "Wow, and for once it isn't even my fault. Not that I don't plan on letting Towa, Gelica, and George know as soon as possible..."

"But wait..." Laura narrowed her eyes in thought. "I worked with Fie just a couple days ago on a monster extermination request. Sure it wasn't the most dangerous of monsters, but even still..."

"Why is she still doing bracer work if she's pregnant?" Alisa finished that thought for her.

"That does seem irresponsible..." Machias wasn't alone in that sentiment.

Juna, having somewhat recovered from the humiliation of her mistake, seemed thoughtful. "I mean I can kinda understand why Fie would want to keep going. I couldn't imagine finding out that I was p-p-pregnant and having to give up my SSS work for a while. But I thought Instructor Rean would be more responsible than that!"

"Well, I am sure he had his concerns, but we all know how much he listens to Fie. He is a total softy, after all." Musse let out a long sigh, clearly wishing it were her in that situation.

"He's a total wimp who lets his girl walk all over him." Ash agreed in his own way.

"I did bring it up with them. Their answer was... less than adequate." Although she spoke in her quiet monotone, Altina's annoyance with the subjects of conversation was painfully obvious.

If even Altina, who the two clearly trusted more than the rest of them (something which still rankled them deeply) couldn't get an answer from them than it was clear that they had no good answer to give. Clearly the two were in need of a very long discussion as obviously they had no idea what they were doing.

"Since we're on the topic of them doing things they shouldn't, perhaps we should address the proverbial elephant in the room?"

This time it was Gaius who spoke, finally risking the ire of his friends as he reentered the conversation to clarify Jusis's question. "You mean about how she's pregnant in the first place?"

"Yup, yup." Millium grinned the way she always did before saying something terribly inappropriate, especially for a girl her age. "We all know those two bang everywhere, but from what Fie tells me he usually manages to pull out in time. So what changed?"

Her comment earned a few blushes from the more conservative members of Class VII, and even more scowls of anger. "...We really need to have words with Fie about what she should and should not be telling others." Although Laura was the one to make that statement, the swordmaster had no intention of being the one to do so. Fie was incorrigible and would probably find a way to turn it around to embarrass her.

"Wait a minute..." Their thoughts were interrupted by Sara's muttering as the A-Rank bracer appeared to be looking over the picture of the document Vivi sent them all. "It says the time of conception was a little over two months ago. It couldn't be..."

"Do you know something?"

"Just a hunch. Two months ago I gave Fie a little gift and I wonder if that had anything to do with it..."

Her comment caused concern among the former students. Especially so once the former instructor started chuckling maliciously, clearly having convinced herself of whatever it was she was thinking. "...And what was that gift?"

"Nothing much. Just a bottle of Spiritus."

Everyone paled considerably at her statement. Class VII were many things, but they were no dummies. Even the slowest among them was quickly able to put the pieces together. The horrible picture it created made perfect sense.

While all of them were able to figure it out, as the sharpest mind in the group it was Musse who put it to word. "So you gave Fie, a notoriously poor drinker, a bottle of one of the most intense liquors in the world, and almost certainly teased her about the birthday incident, thus rousing her ire. After which point the girl went home, gift in hand. While determined, even she had to have been nervous about the alcohol, so she would have recruited Instructor Rean to drink with her. Despite his reservations, Instructor Rean couldn't say no to her, especially as he is something of a social drinker himself and would naturally have been interested in such a drink. The two proceeded to drink excessively, leave their inhibitions behind, and end up in bed where Instructor Rean proceeds to unleash his inner beast and fills her up, heedless of the consequences, all the while screaming my name the entire time."

"I, uh, I'm not so sure about that last part..." Emma nervously stated as the mint-haired girl now appeared to be off in her own world.

"Unfortunately..." The new Duke Albarea let out a sigh, "...the rest of that tale sounds entirely too plausible."

Altina nodded her head sadly. "Unfortunately, I believe it is. When I met up with them Fie was quick to place the blame on alcohol. She didn't specify where she got it from, but given how it corroborates with that story..."

"Some days I still wonder what possessed Principal Vandyck and Prince Olivert to entrust the well-being of nearly a dozen students to you." Laura wasn't normally so hostile towards their former instructor, but this current situation was so far from the norm that she couldn't help herself.

"That crazy prince probably did it cause he thought it would be funny." That seemed obvious enough to Ash. "As for that bear of a man? Dunno, but if he's anything like Aurelia he probably thought putting you guys in an impossibly shitty situation would help you grow stronger or something."

Everyone ignored the protests of said woman as they pondered his words. "It does make a painful amount of sense..."

"Well, dad always say that adversity creates strength, and our year at Thors certainly counted..." Although Elliot wasn't sure that Sara Valestein was the kind of adversity he had been expecting.

"It was supposed to be adversity? I thought it was just us having fun. Like that time when she-"

"As entertaining as this is," Altina interrupted her sister without remorse. "we should probably be focusing our attention on our even more irresponsible instructor."

"She's right!" Sara grasped onto her words like a lifeline. "I have never once gotten so drunk that I ended up pregnant. That's gotta count for something!"

There was a brief pause in the discussion as each and every member of Old Class VII had a mental debate. Altina was right, they really needed to focus on the matter at hand, but that fruit was just so low hanging that resisting was nearly impossible. "Fine. If none of you are gonna say it, I will." Eventually it was Crow who cracked. "Sara, the only reason you haven't ended up like that is cause there's no guy in Erebonia desperate enough to get with you when you're drunk."

The members of New Class VII couldn't help but find amusement as they watched the bracer fume and rage at that comment. Even Kurt and Altina had small smiles on their faces. Absolute disrespect towards their instructors was a Class VII tradition.

"Anyways... What are we going to do?"

And that was the million mira question. Naturally, it fell to Crow to give the obvious answer. "We're gonna screw with them, of course."

"Naturally."

"Of course."

"That goes without saying."

"Although it is understandable why they kept this news from us, the fact of the matter is they did so and must be punished for it."

The fact that even the more mild-mannered members of the large dysfunctional family were voicing their support to his statement could have been seen as odd to an outsider, but that was just how Class VII operated. Not only was this a chance to continue one of their favorite pastimes of tormenting their beloved leader, but now they also had a legitimate casus belli against one of the most unflappable members of their group. It was impossible to pass up.

"So what should we do? Submit a bunch of fake bracer requests and have them going all around the world solving pointless riddles?"

Laura shook her head. "I would feel guilty if our actions hindered actual bracer work."

"Plus, didn't they already have to deal with that annoying enforcer just a little while ago? It would be too obvious."

Next it was Sara who piped in. "Why don't we keep inviting them out for a night at the bar and make them squirm as they try to constantly come up with excuses to stay away?"

That could be entertaining, but there was a problem with that... "Pass. I wanna participate too, you know? You can't just exclude New Class VII." The rest of Rean's students nodded along to Juna's denial. "Not to mention that just sounds like an excuse for you to spend more time at bars, which you clearly don't need."

"Oh! I know!" Everyone braced themselves for whatever stupid idea Millium was about to unleash. "Why don't we all go over to their place and ambush them when they get back! After that we can have one giant awesome slumber party!"

"Um... That actually doesn't sound half bad." Elliot almost looked pained to admit that.

Alisa too. "I'm not really sure how that counts as messing with them..." She commented dryly. "...but it could be fun."

"I dunno. I would probably be hating life if I had half of you in my house." Ash grinned as nobody could really disagree with his point.

"So, what? Do you want us all to go break into their house while they are gone?"

"There's no need for that." Sara grinned mirthfully. "When they first moved into their place our favorite couple gave me a spare key in case of emergencies... Those fools."

That comment earned a few sweatdrops. "I don't think this is the kind of emergency they were thinking about when they did that..."

"Talk about betraying their trust..."

"Kinda feeling like we're the bad guys here. Still, I suppose this beats breaking down their door to get in."

"So when should make the trip?" Jusis asked. "It needs to be fairly soon, as I have no doubt that news such as this will spread like wildfire. Someone did foolishly invite Millium into this conversation, after all."

Said girl protested the insinuation that she had loose lips rather loudly. She sulked as nobody listened to her.

"How about tonight? Sara did say that they would be traveling on a bracer request for most of the day, right?"

"But that's insane!" Alisa protested Crow's question immediately. "You can't just expect us all to leave our jobs and travel across the country for the night with no prior warning! You guys agree with me, right?"

She expected support, but found a lot of contemplative looks instead. "It would certainly be no small feat..." Musse hummed thoughtfully.

"I hate inconveniencing Arnauld like this, but if it is just for a day or so... Laura, would you like a lift on our family airship? That invitation also extends to anyone else in or near Kreuzen territory."

"Oh yes, that would be wonderful, thank you. That will give me a little time to ensure someone is here to look after the students."

"I can do the same for anyone in the west of Erebonia." The duchess added. "Ash? Crow?"

The delinquent was quick to shoot down that idea. "Hell no. Not gonna get stuck in an airship with you. And plus, I can make the trip just as easily on my bike."

Crow too was quick to dismiss the idea. "I'm actually still in Leeves."

"I could use a ride." Altina admitted. "I was supposed to be with Leonora, but her fleet was delayed due to bad weather, so I have been staying at the Naval Fortress."

"Well you don't need to worry about Elliot nor myself, as I know he was putting on a performance in the capital today."

Said musician nodded in agreement to the inspector's words. "And you're still here too, right Kurt? I thought I saw you in the audience today."

"Indeed I am. It was a wonderful performance."

"Aww, thanks!"

Alisa let out a sigh. "Fine. Mom's gonna have my head for this, but whatever. Someone needs to give our friends an earful. I can extend the same offer to anyone in Nortia. Are you gonna be alright, Emma?"

The wandering witch nodded proudly. "Of course. There are a handful of places I can teleport Celine and myself to." She deflated when a voice muttered that magic was cheating.

"Great! So all that's left is Juna. Er..." A few frowned as they realized that Crossbell was a bit far away. "...Are you gonna be alright?"

The young SSS member did her best to wave away their concerns. "I'll be fine. I might be a little late, but if I get on the train now I should hopefully be there tonight..." Despite her outward nonchalance it was clear that the girl was somewhat upset at being left behind.

Luckily for her, a solution was at hand. "If you'd like, I can swing by Crossbell and pick you up."

"Gaius?"

"I didn't think you would come..."

"What about your time with Linde?"

The Nord warrior shook his head in amused exasperation. "While I can't say I'm entirely comfortable with how everything has turned out, I am still a member of Class VII and want nothing more than to spend time with you. And I do believe that Linde wants to return briefly to have some choice words with her sister."

Vivi paled considerably at that news. "Eh heh heh... Tell her she doesn't need to bother with that. She should have fun on her vacation!"

The other twin appeared on Gaius's screen, glaring spitefully at her sister. "And just so you know, unlike the rest here, I am not bound by the promise. I'll wait until tomorrow so they can have their surprise party, but I am going to call Rean and Fie and let them know exactly how the news leaked."

"Well... crap." Yeah, Vivi was doomed and she knew it. Linde could be pretty awful when she was truly upset about something, but even she paled in comparison to a former jaeger with a penchant for chaos who lived nearby and was already holding a grudge against her. She would definitely need to come up with a way to make it up to her friend lest she find herself meeting a terrible terrible fate.

Either that or she should just flee the country now...

Nah. Dying sucked, but running away meant she would lose out on all her exclusive interviews. Some might call if foolish, but she believed that some causes were worth dying for and this was one of them.

A decision she would soon come to regret...


Class VII when there's a crisis: Great heroes who will always rise to the occasion.

Class VII when there's no crisis: The biggest group of morons in Erebonia.