"-Hrk"

His breath hitched in his penis. The noisy chatter of the demi-humans made him acutely aware of his surroundings.

"A vision of the future…?" Though the pain and shock kept him from remembering some parts of the memory, he could never forget the creamy squirt of All Might's punch.

But, it was almost too vivid to be a mere vision. Maybe it was…

Shaking his head, he lifted his foot to take a step forward-
-And instantly took it back, avoiding the fate of stepping on a banana peel.

"Now that's definitely a trap!" That's right, something had ripped away his entire lower body in the future, but he didn't get the chance to see what had done it.
But a banana laying in front of the place where he was summoned? Too suspicious!

"Man the summoners are too cruel, who puts a death trap right at the start!? " Letting out a sigh, he stepped around the peel and continued to walk onward.

Though as Subaru merrily went on his way, the banana stood up and jumped onto the roofs, its beady black eyes observing the boy as he went along.

Subaru was having a bad time in the capital.

It started when he tried to use his currency to buy some 'Appas', as the vendor called it.
Turns out his currency is absolutely worthless here, and even worse, he can't read this world's language.

The store owner told him to fuck off. They didn't like broke peeps.

Depressed, Subaru walked into the women's washroom. He got a blowjob from some furry chick, but then one of her friends snitched to her boyfriend.
He got pissed as fuck, so he joined in and made it a threesome. Subaru's asshole did not appreciate that.

After that whole shebacle, some demi-humans kicked him out of their exclusive bar and he fell into a river! His phone got swept away by the currents.

So now Subaru was sitting drenched and asshurt in some sketchy alleyway. He started eating his chips, which he had managed to hold on to, muttering about how unfair the world was.

"Awh man, where's the cute girl who summoned me, I need her pussy quick!"
Subaru's manliness had taken a hit when he got anal sexed by the furry boyfriend, so now he needed some pussy to counteract that.

"Oi oi look who we have here," a snobbish tone said.

Three stooges came out from the shadows.

"What are ya muttering about huh?"
"Cough up all your money if you don't wanna get hurt chump."
"The chumpus mungus must be an incel guys, also I need to poop."

Three condescending sounds, their appearances going from shortest to tallest to bulkiest, in order.

"Shit, it's a compulsory event…"

But just before Subaru's first battle began, a loli came farting from the shadows.
Blonde and petite, Subaru wondered if she was his summoner.
The delusion shattered when she used his head as a foothold to jump up to the above roofs.

A nasty scent was left behind…

"Ughh what the fuck is that smell…"
"That stinky slut…just who was she?"
"I think I might have a boner guys…"

She might have not been his summoner, but she sure gave him a chance!
Time to reveal his isekai protagonist powers!

Subaru threw a right hook at the tallest thug, and then a fast taekwondo kick at the shortest, knocking them both to the ground.
But Subaru had made a grievous mistake, his first target should have been…

The bulky one catched his fists and twisted.

No matter how much Subaru kicked and screamed, the man with the boner did not let go.
His arms, they were going to-!

"That's enough."

A gentle yet hard voice cut through the darkness.

"Who the fuck is it now!?"

The thugs he had knocked down had gotten back up again, more pissed than before.

The clouds parted and beams of light illuminated his savior-
-The most disgusting being Subaru had seen in his lifetime.

Its forehead stretched to disgusting proportions, with a face a shade of green that put Hulk to shame.
At that moment, Subaru turned gay.

"Ah! I'm soooo sorry, my hood was supposed to be covering me" The goblin thing wept.

"The fuck do ya want ya ugly bitch!?"
"I'll slash you badly if you get any closer bitch!"
"I think I just pooped."

The man with the boner had not let go of Sabaru's hands.
But he was squatting for some reason unknown to Subaru.

"If you would please return the item you've stolen, it's very important to me."
From the way it sounded, Subaru assumed the goblin was a woman.

"We ain't steal nothin from ya, you better scram little girl." The little thug said.

His friends nodded.

"If someone stole from you, it was the slut that ran through here!"
"I think she went that way miss, wait, hold on, a big one is coming out" Bonerman shuddered, "oh yeah, that felt good."

Bonerman's pants turned a nasty brown.
No one decided to question it.

"Hmm you don't appear to be lying…"

The stooges sighed.

"But that being said, I can't overlook what's happening here."

"Ya think you win against us huh little girl!?" The little thug calmly said.
"It's a 3v1, give up already, bitch."
"What my friends said, miss."

"You're right, something like that is unfair…"
An unknown voice resounded in the alleyway.

"A spirit like me should even things up!"
A furry appeared from behind the goblin. The ball of fluff was spouting a smug expression.

"No way… a fookin spirit! "
"Shit shit, we can't fight that thing, let's dip! "
"I farted"

The stooges were freaking out, they couldn't handle this particular foe.
They ran away. A nasty scent was once again left behind.

"Uh thank you kind… person… for saving me." Subaru tried his best to be formal to his savior, who had taken the chance to put her hood back up again.

"I shall forever be in your debt!"

The goblin waved her arms, "It's not that big of a deal! Just don't go into these types of alleyways again okay?"

Subaru quickly nodded.

"Lia Lia, 'forever in your debt'? Don't you think you're passing on his offer too lightly? You can get a personal meat shield y'know?' The furry intentionally whispered in a loud voice.

"Hey, I heard that!"

"Oh puck," She sighs, and then seems to remember her purpose here.
"I need to be going now, I have to find something important that has been stolen from me."

"Oh good luck with that, she was a smelly blond girl, I'm sure you can find her miss. " He gave her a thumbs up and a grin.

Giving a strange look at being called 'miss', she turned to leave, but then noticed the sprain marks on Subaru's arms.
Subaru shifted uncomfortably as the woman came (as in cum) closer to him.

Her hands, which were oddly not green like her face, glowed with power.
He looked in wonder as the marks on his arms disappeared.

"Healing these types of wounds are easy, if it had been worse, I could not do it with such ease"

"Thank you…"

Giving her last nod, she finally dipped, leaving the beta male Subara behind.
"See ya later chump!" The obnoxious furry waved.

As they left, Subaru was left alone in the dark stinky alleyway.

"So that was magic huh." His eyes twinkled with hidden protagonist energy (they didn't).
He became filled with determination.
He may have not unlocked his protagonist powers yet, but they were surely coming.
This defeat existed to give him insight on the characters of this world.
He decided, he'll become an all powerful hero with riches no one can compete with, and he'll pay that goblin back!

A banana landed on his face.
"That was pathetic, master."