"Where did you and dad meet?" A twelve-year-old Padmé asked her mother. Her sister and Ben were off doing who knows what while her father was teaching a lesson to some of the younglings. Padmé just remained in her parents' hut at the temple as her mother folded clothes.
"You want to hear that story again?" Vesper Skywalker questioned in amusement. Padmé nodded eagerly.
"You've never really given all the details. Just a brief summary," Padmé told her mother and her mother laughed. Padmé liked hearing stories. Almost as much as her sister but instead of stories about battles and flying, Padmé preferred more romantic stories. Especially as she got to an age where she was beginning to find boys cute. She just loved the idea of there being someone for everyone…that maybe there was someone out there for her too.
Padmé liked to imagine a really handsome Jedi Knight from a foreign world being that person. Her mom found her own Jedi Knight and so did both her grandmothers. It seemed only right that there was one out there for Padmé too.
"Fine, fine," Vesper said in amusement. "It was on Tatooine. My father and I lived in the wastelands…barren land, really. There was nothing out there."
"My grandfather Obi-Wan?" Padmé inquired and Vesper nodded. A smile came over her fact at the memory of her father.
"Yes…he trained me there from the moment I could walk," Vesper told her daughter. "Your father didn't live that far away but your grandfather was very protective, so I rarely ventured away from the house. I didn't meet him until your grandfather brought him to our house after he got attacked by Tusken Raiders."
"But when did you fall in love?" Padmé questioned and Vesper gave her curious daughter an amused look.
"I don't know," Vesper admitted honestly. "I always thought he was cute…kind of goofy and maybe even immature at times."
"That doesn't sound romantic," Padmé remarked, and Vesper laughed.
"I suppose, it doesn't," Vesper admitted. "I think most of the time love isn't at first sight. I've never known anyone who fell in love at first sight. Not me and your father or your Uncle Han and Aunt Leia."
"So, when did it happen?" Padmé asked her and Vesper thought about it for a moment before finally answering.
"It's complicated. We were friends first," Vesper told her daughter. "I always knew he had a bit of a crush on me, but I thought it would complicate things. After your grandfather died, helping your father learn the ways of the Force was up to me. I was also wary of love."
"Why?" Padmé questioned and Vesper had to remember that her daughter grew up differently than her. Her daughter had both parents. She didn't just have one parent like Vesper did.
"Your grandfather and grandmother didn't have a happy ending," Vesper explained to her as gently as she could. "They loved each other but they were both Jedi. Back then, the Jedi had very strict rules. Attachment was forbidden…falling in love was forbidden."
"That's stupid," Padmé argued, surprised by this news. Vesper nodded.
"I know it is, but it was just the way things were," Vesper informed her. "They loved each other but they couldn't abandon their allegiance to the Jedi way. They both realized that there was no ending where they could be together and still be Jedi, so they ended their romance."
"But they loved each other," Padmé said, suddenly feeling sad about her mother's parents. Vesper gave her a sad smile.
"Sometimes love is complicated, Padmé," Vesper told her before continuing on. "Anyways, your grandmother soon became pregnant with me. She didn't know what else to do but she knew she wanted me, so she retired. Your grandmother ran away to Naboo where she eventually had me."
"What about your dad?" Padmé questioned and Vesper shook her head.
"He didn't know about any of it," Vesper said softly. "Your grandmother thought she was protecting him by not telling him. She didn't want him to give everything up because she loved him so much."
"What happened?" Padmé asked her softly.
"Eventually I was born," Vesper said, a sad look coming over face. "I must've been around two-years-old when Darth Vader came to Naboo. She knew he was coming so she hid me with some friends."
"He killed her?" Padmé asked although she thought she already knew the answer.
"Yes…" Vesper said in response. "Your grandfather came looking for her shortly after even though he no longer felt her through the Force. It was on Naboo that he discovered that I existed. Through his grief, he found me which gave him hope."
"That's so sad, Mom," Padmé said, feeling her blue eyes well up with tears. "They couldn't be together all that time and when they finally could, it was too late."
"Not all love stories have happy endings, Padmé," Her mother told her wisely. "But if it's any comfort to you, your grandparents are together now."
"I suppose that's good but it's still sad," Padmé said, looking down at her lap. It was disheartening coming to the stunning realization that some love stories were tragic and didn't end in happily ever after.
"It was after Bespin," Vesper finally said, breaking Padmé out of her sadness. She looked at her mother in confusion, so Vesper went on to explain. "I think I realized I loved your father after Bespin…when he fought against Vader. I almost lost him, and it made me realize how much he meant to me. How we were just wasting time before."
"We didn't get married until a while after the war ended," Vesper told her daughter. "Your aunt and uncle got married and had Ben right after the Battle of Endor, but your father and I were busy looking for old Jedi Temples in an attempt to help us figure out how to make a new Jedi Order. It wasn't until I got pregnant with your sister that we finally got married."
"So, you only got married because you got pregnant?" Padmé questioned, sounding unimpressed. Vesper laughed.
"Not exactly…I think we always knew we'd get married so it seemed like the thing to do after I told him I was pregnant," Vesper explained to Padmé who seemed a little disappointed that it wasn't more romantic than that. Although…her father always seemed serious and strict. Padmé didn't see him as a romantic. "We got married on Naboo surrounded by all our friends and we had your sister six months later."
"Well, whoever I fall in love with better have a romantic proposal or I won't marry him," Padmé said stubbornly, and Vesper gave her youngest daughter an amused look. "I want it to be somewhere pretty like the lakeside country on Naboo. I want it to be like in those old holoreels that Aayla showed me. It should be at sunset too."
"You have a lot of expectations, Padmé," Her mother told her, giving her a smile. "I think when you meet the right person then it won't matter how they propose or where. You'll say yes no matter what."
"I doubt that," Padmé told her mother, being the immature young girl that she was. Vesper only laughed, her green eyes gleaming with amusement, as she playfully shoved her young daughter off the bed. Padmé erupted into giggles before her mother chased her around the house.
For once, Padmé didn't have a Force vision.
She just reflected on a different and more happy time in her life. A time where everything was happy and Padmé had no reason to be sad about life. Padmé remembered the days of being a hopeless romantic like most girls were as she begged her mother to tell her about her and her father's love story.
Sometimes Padmé wondered if her father really loved her mother that much.
If he loved her then how could he just up and leave Dantooine like that?
He didn't even stay behind to make sure Padmé got to her aunt and uncle safely.
It was safe to say that Padmé was no longer the little girl who dreamed of love and ever-lasting happiness. She didn't believe in that anymore. Not after everything that happened at the Jedi Temple.
"You think we'll win the war?" Rose asked her softly, interrupting Padmé's thoughts. The twenty-year-old looked up at her questioningly.
"That's a bit of a cynical attitude to have," Padmé pointed out. They were in the mess hall again for lunch. It was a bit of a tiresome day after a huge malfunction in the command center. Padmé, Rose, and Koo had been in there all day trying to locate the problem until Padmé finally discovered the faulty wiring and they had to take everything apart before putting it back together again.
"I know but the Resistance is so small. The First Order is so big," Rose pointed out to her. "I keep thinking that we'll keep growing and we are but it's still not big enough."
"My parents fought in the Rebellion and it's about the same size as we are now," Padmé said in response. She then remembered something her dad used to say in regard to using the Force to lift objects. "Size doesn't matter, anyways. My parents had nothing in the Rebellion, and they still won. They just had each other."
"I always forget how small the Rebellion was. It's easy to forget since they went up against something as large as the Empire," Rose said in awe. "The Empire had TIE fighters and Imperial Star Cruisers…the Death Star. They should've easily won."
"I think when there's hope, there's always a way," Padmé said, remembering something else…only this time it was a piece of her mother's wisdom.
"You think our kids will wonder how we did it someday? Even if we don't win. How we were able to stand against the First Order with nothing," Rose wondered aloud and Padmé gave her friend an amused look.
"You're thinking ahead of yourself, aren't you?" Padmé questioned although she honestly doubted, she'd ever have kids. After what happened to her grandfather, sister, and cousin, Padmé was sure the dark side ran in her family. She didn't want to strengthen the odds by having children.
"I'm sorry but I'd just like to think of a future where we win with minimal casualties," Rose told her and Padmé just smiled at her. "I know it's not very realistic."
"I think it's good…so you have something to look forward to and keep you going," Padmé said softly, and Rose returned her smile. Rose was about to say something else when they were interrupted by someone approaching their table.
Padmé almost winced.
It was none other than the Resistance's most popular pilot.
"Naberrie, is this where you've been hiding?" Poe Dameron asked with his usual warm smile and Rose looked up at him in shock. Padmé was dismayed to see the starstruck look on her friend's face. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."
"We talked five days ago," Padmé pointed out, referencing the time he struck up a conversation with her while she was working on his X-wing. Poe smirked at her.
"Every day away from you feels like a lifetime, Naberrie," Poe said jokingly but his tone was still a bit flirty. He was so bold that even Padmé was able to recognize that as a flirtatious remark. She blushed as she tried to pretend like she was unaffected by his flirting. It annoyed her how good looking he was. Padmé didn't want to be like the other women on base who fawned all over Poe.
Women like Riva and Koo who annoyed Padmé.
"Um…okay," Padmé said awkwardly, not knowing how to respond to a remark like that from her superior. Technically Poe wasn't her superior since he was a pilot and Padmé was a technician, but she still felt like there wasn't any way she could reply to something like that. Not that she would know how. Padmé spent years training as a Jedi. She wasn't skilled in the art of flirting.
"Do you mind if I sit with you ladies," Poe asked them and Padmé didn't know why he would want to. He usually sat with his pilot friends. However, before either Rose or Padmé could answer him, Koo and Riva seemed to eagerly respond to his request. Padmé refrained from rolling her eyes. It was no secret that those two were part of the Poe Dameron fan club.
"Of course, you can, Commander," Koo said, smiling brightly at Poe. Poe gave them a charming smile and sat across from Padmé.
"Alana, you didn't tell us that you know the Resistance's best pilot," Riva said, teasing the redhead. Although Poe was suddenly filled with disappointment. He didn't know why exactly but he supposed he had a feeling that it was because apparently, she hadn't even mentioned him or mentioned having known him. Poe was confused why it bothered him so much, but it did. He definitely mentioned the small technician to his friends when trying to find out more about her.
"Please just call me Poe," Poe told the women and Rose just stared at her friend questioningly. She thought her best friend and roommate would've mentioned being on a somewhat friendly basis with Poe Dameron yet she didn't mention anything. To be honest, she didn't do much talking. Rose was the one who talked a lot while her quiet friend just listened and occasionally offered up responses. However, Alana never offered up information about herself. Rose only knew that her family was killed by the First Order, and she was distantly related to General Organa.
"Are you sure you don't want to sit with your friends, Commander?" Padmé asked him, ignoring his request for them to call him by his first name. She didn't really want him to sit there. Not because she didn't like him but because she knew he drew attention wherever he went. Padmé wasn't a fan of attention. She'd rather escape people's notice and just do her work.
"I'd rather sit with you, Naberrie," Poe flirted once more, his brown eyes sparkling with mischief. "I just realized that I've spent most of my time with the other pilots. So much that I haven't gotten to know the other Resistance members."
Padmé ignored the jealous looks Riva and Koo shot in her direction at Poe's remark. She didn't really know why Poe Dameron kept popping up around her on base. She literally did everything she could to avoid attention, so she didn't understand how she seemed to have captured his all of a sudden. Everyone else ignored her and Padmé liked it that way.
"Well, I'm Koo," Koo introduced as she smiled at Poe, trying to take his attention away from Padmé. "And this is Riva."
"It's nice to meet you," Poe told them both before looking at Rose. "What's your name?"
"I'm Rose Tico," Rose said shyly. She was even more shy than Padmé if that was possible. Poe looked at her in recognition.
"Tico? You're Paige's little sister, right?" Poe inquired and Rose smiled before nodding.
"Yeah," Rose said but anyone could tell that she was immensely proud of her sister.
"She's an amazing gunner. I just got back from a mission with her a few days ago," Poe complimented, and Rose smiled. "A great pilot too."
"I know she is. Thank you, Commander," Rose said, still a little awestruck that Poe knew who she was. To Rose, Poe was a hero. Padmé admired him too but maybe she was immune to being starstruck like that. She grew up around heroes of the Rebellion, so she knew they were just people just like herself and everyone else. Her parents had humble beginnings just like anyone else. They grew up on Tatooine. Her father was a farm boy and her mother lived in the wastelands.
Even Kylo Ren and Vora Ren had humble enough beginnings.
The children of Rebellion leaders who grew up on Dantooine.
"You know, you've been quite the talk around base…Poe," Riva said, looking at Poe as if he hung all the stars in the galaxy himself. Padmé resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Everyone always talks about those stories of you in the New Republic. The Rapier Squadron. All those stories are pretty legendary."
"Oh, I don't know. Some of it might be exaggerated," Poe said but Padmé could tell from the look on his face that he was very proud of his piloting skills. Maybe even cocky. It was then that she thought her aunt might've been a bit mistaken about Poe. Her aunt told her how much Poe Dameron reminded her of Padmé's father, but Padmé didn't see it. Her father was never one to brag about his piloting skills despite being an amazing pilot.
"I don't think so," Koo said, a flirtatious tone in her voice. "I think you're just being modest."
"Well, I was taught by the best. Wedge Antilles," Poe mentioned and the other three at the table hung on to his every word with interest, but Padmé grew nervous at the mention of Wedge Antilles. He was an old friend of her father's. It was yet another reminder of all the lies she had to hide behind during these past five years.
"Is it true you chased a starship into the Lost Souls Asteroid Field?" Riva asked in awe of the commander and Poe smirked.
"That may or may not be true," Poe said and Padmé pushed her food around with her fork as she zoned out while Poe started to retell the story of a past mission for the New Republic. The other three women were very excited to listen to him talk but Padmé was still lost in her thoughts as she went back over the very thing that had been troubling her lately.
The Force visions wouldn't stop and Padmé felt like she was no closer to stopping them.
She didn't know how.
Padmé was still scared she'd somehow reveal herself through the Force to her sister and cousin. It was clear she couldn't control her abilities and Padmé felt so alone without her mother. Her mother used to help her with her Force visions, but Padmé didn't have her mother anymore. She was alone in this.
"You're never alone, Padmé. The Force is always with you and we're with you through the Force," A voice whispered to her and Padmé tensed in her seat. She quickly glanced around the mess hall to see if anyone aside from Poe spoke to her.
Deep down she knew it was no one at the base who spoke to her.
Padmé heard that voice only one time in her entire life.
The night at the Jedi Temple.
"Do not fear the Force, little one," The voice told her. "Only the Force can give you the answers you seek about your visions."
Padmé quietly and quickly got up from the table, doing her best to escape the notice of everyone else. She was losing her mind and she'd rather not do it in front of the entire Resistance. Padmé quickly disposed of her lunch before exiting the mess hall.
What she didn't see was the disappointed look that came over Poe's face as he saw her leave. He was in the middle of retelling one of his adventures and looked up, hoping to see Alana listening but she was already gone and, on her way, out of the mess hall.
He couldn't say why it made him suddenly not feel the need to relive his past adventures in the New Republic.
Poe felt as though it was suddenly pointless.
"Padmé," The voice called out through the Force. The redhead followed the voice even though she knew she shouldn't. However, her curiosity got the best of her. She always wondered who's voice it was she heard that night and she could never forget the feeling of someone's hand against her face after she fell unconscious from Kylo Ren's attack. "Padme."
Padmé found herself outside the base and along the forest line. D'Qar was a beautiful planet lush with forest and other greenery. She couldn't believe how much it reminded her of Dantooine where she grew up. If she closed her eyes, she could almost picture the Temple right in the midst of the forest.
"Don't be afraid, little one. I mean you no harm," The voice called and Padmé stiffened when she noticed a blue glow through the trees. She caught a brief glimpse of an outline of a figure pacing through the forest and her eyes widened in shock.
A Force ghost.
Padmé always remembered her mother telling her about Force ghosts. How she in her own lifetime had not only seen but talked to Force ghosts. The first one being her father's old master, Qui-Gon Jinn, and then later her father and mother. Padmé personally had never seen a Force ghost although she couldn't say she really tried.
The former padawan felt drawn to the forest. She felt the urge to go after the mysterious Force ghost who seemed to want to speak to her. It might've been dangerous. Padmé had never felt a connection to the dark side like her sister had but that didn't mean the dark side didn't have a way of reaching out to her.
Padmé quickly glanced around to see if anyone else was around. She only saw people unloading supplies off one of the cargo freighters. No one was paying any attention to her.
She knew her aunt would probably kill her for this, but something told Padmé she needed to follow that figure into the forest. It could've been a trap, but Padmé also felt like it was the only way she was going to find any answers about her Force visions.
So, she left.
Walking into something she tried to stay out of for the past five years.
Something she never thought she'd do again.
"I know it's you," Padmé said softly as she walked in between the trees, seeking out whoever the voice was. She sensed their presence in the forest without even trying. "I remember your voice from that night at the temple. You tried to warn me."
"You can show yourself," Padmé said, trying to lure the Force ghost out. For a moment she thought the force ghost wouldn't show itself…that maybe she was talking to thin air.
That is, until the ghostly figure stepped out from behind a tree and finally revealed themself to Padmé.
She gasped.
The Force ghost had a blue, transparent hue to them. At first, Padmé failed to recognize the man standing before her. It was difficult to make out distinct features like the color of his hair and the color of his eyes due to his transparent nature, but Padmé could tell he was handsome in some sense. Although as youthful as he appeared, more or less Poe Dameron's age, there was a certain amount of wisdom in his eyes that made Padmé instantly give him her full attention.
"Hello, Padmé," The man told her, and she immediately recognized his voice. It was the voice she just heard in the mess hall as well as the same voice she heard many years ago. It was a distinct accent that could only come from inner rim planets like Coruscant. The same accent her mother had despite growing up on Tatooine.
"W-Who are you?" Padmé asked boldly despite a slight tremor in her voice. She had never met a Force ghost, after all. Only hearing about them from stories her mother used to tell her. "I know that you're the same person who talked to me that night. I know your voice. I've heard it in many dreams since that night."
"You don't need to fear me, little one," The man told her as he gave her a reassuring smile. Padmé suppose she should've been more wary of the man, but she could sense that he posed no danger. In fact, Padmé could sense something familiar about him, but she wasn't sure what. Padmé was sure she'd never seen him before. "I'm not here to frighten you."
"I'm sorry…I've just never met a Force ghost before," Padmé apologized, ultimately feeling bad about being afraid of him. He clearly meant her no harm nor could he even harm her even if he wanted to. "I've heard stories, but I've never seen one of you."
"I'm delighted to be your first," He said, looking amused by the young Jedi. The man offered her another smile. Padmé stared at him curiously. There was something familiar about him. She just couldn't seem to place him for whatever reason.
"What's your name?" Padmé asked him softly. "I know you…but I don't know how."
"You do know me," He confirmed. "I'm Obi-Wan."
"Obi-Wan?" Padmé said in surprise, her eyes wide in shock. "As in my grandfather Obi-Wan?"
"The very same," Obi-Wan told her with a slight chuckle.
Padmé couldn't believe her eyes. It was none other than her own grandfather standing before her. The same grandfather she grew up listening to stories about. Her parents always remembered him fondly but there had never been a picture of him that Padmé had ever seen. Her father always said Padmé's mother resembled Obi-Wan just as she and her sister resembled their mother. Padmé could even see it now as she looked at her grandfather. He shared the same smile as her mother.
"I have so many questions to ask you…so many things to tell you," Padmé managed to say. "I can't believe it's really you."
"I know but I'm only here for a limited time," Obi-Wan informed her, causing Padmé to frown.
"I'm afraid your aunt would grow worried if you were away for too long."
"So why are you here, then? If not for a leisurely chat," Padmé inquired although she still couldn't hide the excitement within herself at the sight of someone she could speak so openly with. It had been years since she felt this excited about anything. For the past five years, Padmé had been forced to hide in the shadows and it was quite lonely in the shadows. She had to hide every aspect of herself away from people.
Even from Rose.
Sure, Padmé could speak openly with her aunt, but it wasn't the same. Although her aunt had trained briefly in the ways of the Force, she didn't share the same understanding of the Force that Padmé had. Padmé who'd trained as a Jedi for as long as she could remember and until five years ago, she thought she would live her entire life as a Jedi.
It didn't escape her that she was lonely.
Padmé was all too aware of that fact.
"I'm here for the same reason I have always been here, Padmé," Obi-Wan told her softly. "The same reason all of us are here with you."
"All of us?" Padmé asked with hope in her eyes. "Is my mother here too? Where is she?"
"Your mother and many Jedi before her live on in you," Obi-Wan informed her. "The reason she is not here in front of you is because you are not ready."
"I'm ready," Padmé tried to tell him and Obi-Wan just chuckled.
"You remind me so much of your mother," Obi-Wan said and it was clear it was a compliment. He noticed a frown start to form and he shook his head. "That's a good thing, I assure you."
"Why are you here then? Why you and not my mother?" Padmé questioned, desperately wishing she could see her mother. She never got to say goodbye to her mother. The last time she ever saw her mother was that night at dinner. Before everything they knew was lost to them forever. There was so much that Padmé never got to say to her mother…so much she never got ask her. "I just want to see my mother again."
"You will, Padmé…when the time is right," Obi-Wan promised her and Padmé pouted which greatly amused the deceased Jedi. "You still have so much to learn."
"You didn't answer my question," Padmé pointed out, knowing that he wasn't going budge on the issue that was her mother. "Why are you here? Is it about my Force visions?"
"Yes," Obi-Wan confirmed and Padmé felt her heart skip a beat. She was worried he was going to tell her something bad. That her sister had found out that she was still alive and was going to come for her. "It's not about your sister. I know you hold much fear in your heart over your sister."
"I'm not afraid," Padmé denied, scared of being accused of such a thing. She knew Jedi weren't supposed to be afraid. Not that she was a Jedi but people like Padmé weren't supposed to feel fear. It only led to a path to the dark side.
"It's alright to be scared," Obi-Wan said softly, giving her a small smile. "All Jedi hold some sense of fear. Whether large or small. It's always there."
"I'm not supposed to be afraid," Padmé told him sadly. "I know I don't practice the Jedi way anymore, but I'm still Force-sensitive. It still affects me. I can't deny it. Even if I don't practice the Jedi way, it could still lead me down a path I could never return from. Like Vora Ren…like Kylo Ren…like Vader."
"All of us feel fear but the objective is to overcome our fear," Obi-Wan advised her and Padmé looked at him in surprise. She never thought of it that way. She just thought it was wrong of her to feel things like that. Things like fear, anger, jealousy, hate, passion, greed, and megalomania. Those were the raw emotions that were supposed to be forbidden to Padmé. Emotions that she was taught were bad and Padmé always assumed if she felt them then she could turn to the dark side. To be fair, Padmé was forced to stop her Jedi training when she was fifteen. There were a lot of things she never learned from her mother and father because everything was ripped away from her. "Overcoming the emotions, you are so scared to feel are some of the greatest challenges a Jedi can ever face. Ignoring these emotions will only do you more harm. You cannot simply run away from these feelings. I know you think you can which is why you left your Jedi teachings behind, but this is something you can't run away from."
"You want me to be a Jedi again, don't you?" Padmé asked quietly, able to read him perhaps as well as he could read her. "That's why you've reached out to me."
"You have not yet even reached the beginning of the journey you shall have to face," Obi-Wan told her and Padmé swallowed hard. She didn't like the way he looked at her…with so much hope in his eyes. It was the same way her mom used to look at her. "It is a long one and it won't be easy."
"No, Obi-Wan," Padmé said, shaking her head furiously. "I can't go back to that life. Not again. I know what you want. You want me to face them again…you want me to either kill them or turn them back to the light and I don't think I can do either. I'm not strong enough. I'm not my parents."
"I think you severely underestimate yourself, little one," He told her and Padmé wasn't so sure. She thought he was overestimating her. "I was with you that night at the Jedi Temple. I know what you had to do. The strength it took to stand up to the people you love most. Not many can know the strength it takes but I do. I did it once against someone I saw as a brother."
"Anakin," Padmé said breathlessly and Obi-Wan gave her a sad look. "But he killed you, didn't he? Eventually?"
"I had no more faith in him and that was my mistake. I failed to recognize the goodness in him that your grandmother Padmé and your father saw in him," Obi-Wan admitted and Padmé still wasn't convinced. Maybe turning Darth Vader back to the light worked back in the day but Padmé saw all the damage her sister and cousin did. There was no turning back from that. There was certainly no coming back from killing your mother and almost killing your cousin. "I do not wish for you to make the same mistake."
"They won't turn back to the light," Padmé said, not believing that she could change her sister and cousin. She lost that hope the second she found out what they'd both done. "And I can't be a Jedi."
"Right now, you and your father are the last hope we have towards the survival of the Jedi," Obi-Wan informed her and Padmé didn't want to hear that. It was actually the last thing she ever wanted to hear. "I know it's not something you wish to hear but it's true. Your father is overcoming his own obstacles at the present moment so the task will be up to you."
"His own obstacles? You mean obstacles like abandoning me?" Padmé questioned and her grandfather didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. She had no pleasant feelings towards her father. "It's just like him to go run off and leave the responsibility to someone else because he's on the hunt for some quest for knowledge or ancient Jedi artifact. It used to be mom that was left holding the bag but since she's gone it looks like it's become my job now."
"I don't condone his actions, Padmé," Obi-Wan told her, making sure that she knew he in no way approved of her father's choices. "He made a mistake as the best of us all do. Do not throw away your destiny because of the anger you have towards your father. It is you who will help bring back balance to the Force."
Padmé scoffed.
"How many times has someone used that line over the past few generations?" Padmé questioned in frustration and Obi-Wan was silent. "Everyone thought Anakin would bring balance to the force, but he destroyed the Jedi. They thought the same about my father and maybe he achieved it…for a short time. I know everyone had hope in my sister, cousin, and I to bring forth the future of the Jedi but they destroyed it all and I never stood a chance against them. They won and I lost."
"You've lost your faith in the Force," Obi-Wan said knowingly, staring at her and Padmé didn't like that. She felt as though he knew everything that was hidden in her mind. All her fears, doubts, and troubles. It made her incredibly uncomfortable. "It happened to me too. After what happened on Mustafar during Anakin's downfall. I lost my faith for a short while. I understand what it's like."
"The Force wasn't what I thought it was," Padmé said, tears flooding her eyes. She felt as though she were a poor excuse for a granddaughter standing before the great Obi-Wan Kenobi as she confessed to losing her faith in the force. It's not as though she didn't believe in it. She just didn't trust it like she used to. "I feel betrayed by it. It didn't help us against Kylo Ren and Vora Ren that night at the Jedi Temple. All those children died…my mother died. It didn't help us. I thought it was supposed to protect us."
"That's not what the Force is, Padmé," Her grandfather told her wisely. Padmé knew he was right, but she didn't want to admit it. "Remember your teachings. The Force is an energy field created by life that binds the galaxy together and connects us all. It surrounds us and penetrates us, and it can control us, but it also obeys us."
"Your sister and cousin made their choice but now it is time to make your own," Obi-Wan said as he continued to convince her to come back and return to her studies that she left many years ago. "Come back to the Jedi way and return to your studies. It's vital that you do. The fate of the Jedi depends on it. That is what I came here to tell you."
"Don't do that to me, Obi-Wan Kenobi," Padmé told him, wiping the fallen tears from her cheeks. "Don't rest the entire fate of the Jedi on me. I'm a poor excuse for a savior."
"It won't rest entirely on you, little one, but in order to help the Jedi survive you must return to your studies. It's important that you do," Obi-Wan pleaded with her and Padmé never thought she'd ever see Obi-Wan Kenobi pleading for her to return to the Jedi way. She also never thought she'd ever see Obi-Wan Kenobi either, so this was turning into quite the day. "You must return to the Jedi way. It is your destiny. You have questions about your Force visions, but you need to find peace with the Force again. Search your feelings because only your feelings will be able to lead you down the right path. Your visions are telling you something, but you must be the one to determine what they're trying to tell you."
"I can't trust it again," Padmé said sadly and Obi-Wan gazed at her sympathetically. She reminded him so much of himself in that moment. How lost he felt after Mustafar. The only difference was that Padmé experienced all those things at such a young age. Her training had not even been completed when she was forced to confront her sister and cousin. "I really don't think I can. Not after everything that happened. I'm too scared to trust it. I'm afraid if I even go back to the Jedi way that I'll be consumed by my fear."
"This will be your greatest challenge, Padmé Leia Skywalker," Obi-Wan told her, using her full name. It was the first time someone said her full name in years. "Your largest obstacle to overcome. Your loss of faith in the Force. You will need to learn how to trust it again."
"If I even wanted to return to my studies then who would teach me?" Padmé questioned, shaking her head as she tried not to panic over what her grandfather asked of her. "My mother's dead and my father's gone. Aunt Leia's had some training but not enough to teach me anything I didn't already learn from Mom and Dad."
"When you decide to return to your studies then I will assist you in any way I can," Obi-Wan offered and Padmé paused in her thoughts at that. The idea of having Obi-Wan Kenobi as a teacher was something the younger version of herself would've jumped at many years ago. But that was then, and this was now. Padmé had changed a lot. She was no longer the optimistic and naïve teenager she was once was. She'd grown very cynical and bitter from all the things she went through at the Jedi Temple. "But it must be your choice."
"I couldn't even if I wanted to," Padmé told him quietly. "My aunt made me promise to not use the Force again. Vora Ren and Kylo Ren might be able to sense it and I could lead them to this Resistance base."
"They won't sense it," Obi-Wan promised her and Padmé gave him a confused look. The Jedi Master gave her a small smile. "I've made sure of it."
Padmé gasped.
"It was you," Padmé said in astonishment. "Aunt Leia and I wondered how I felt so cut off from the Force. It wasn't me. She thought it might've been Mom who shielded my presence in the Force but it was you, wasn't it?"
"I knew you would be in danger of Snoke if he knew you to still be alive," Obi-Wan explained to her and Padmé was still shocked. She had no idea it was her dead grandfather who had been watching over her all this time. "You were so young then. I knew you weren't ready to return to your studies quite yet, so I blocked your Force signature in the meantime."
"Thank you," Padmé said sincerely, and he nodded.
"It cannot be blocked forever," Obi-Wan warned her and Padmé swallowed hard. "You share a connection with your sister whether you like to admit it or not. Eventually, she will figure out that you are not dead. She will come for you then."
"I know she will," Padmé said solemnly, and she swallowed hard before giving her grandfather a regretful look. "Thank you for watching over me but I don't know if I can return to the Jedi way. I promised myself I wouldn't a long time ago. It wasn't just because of Vora Ren and Kylo Ren. It's like I've been saying all along, I just don't trust the Force anymore."
"I understand what you're facing," Obi-Wan told her honestly. Padmé didn't argue with him because she knew he wasn't lying. It was odd how history repeated itself. First with him and her other grandfather then it happened again with Padmé, her sister, and her cousin. Nothing happened in the way either of them wanted.
"I'm aware," Padmé whispered, trying not to meet his eyes. She didn't want to see the disappointment in them. To know that she didn't live up to his legacy. Padmé already knew she didn't live up to her parents' legacy. She was a coward at the end of the day and her mother would be ashamed of her.
"Your mother could never be ashamed of you, Padmé," Obi-Wan told her sincerely, knowing her thoughts more than what Padmé would like to admit. "In her own time, she faced trials and tribulations of her own just as you face now. She faced them with just as much doubt and uncertainty that you feel in this moment. As did I. We all face challenges and all I ask is that you consider returning to your studies."
"I…" Padmé trailed off as she felt herself persuaded by her grandfather's words. How he admitted to feeling the same loss of faith in the Force that she felt now yet Padmé knew he overcame that loss of faith. Maybe she could too. Maybe she could overcome all this fear and loss of trust in the Force just as he once did. "I don't know if I can promise you much, but I need some time to think about it. You're asking a lot."
"I know," Obi-Wan said, giving her a kind and encouraging smile. "I will respect your space and when you are ready, you may reach out to me using the Force."
"Thank you," Padmé told him, and she knew she was saying goodbye to him for now. Goodbye until she figured out what to do with herself. "For understanding, I mean."
"You don't need to thank me," Obi-Wan said in response and Padmé nodded, not knowing what else to say. There was still a lot of questions she had for her grandfather as well as things she wished to tell him, but she knew now wasn't the time. Not when he requested that she do something she once swore she'd never do. "I just hope that you consider everything we talked about today."
"I will, Obi-Wan," Padmé promised because it really was all she could promise him. Obi-Wan gave her a nod and another small smile.
"I shall return when you're ready," Obi-Wan informed her and Padmé managed to return his smile. She was sure it looked quite forced. Smiles were such a rare thing for Padmé these days.
"May the Force be with you, Padmé."
"Goodbye," Padmé told him, knowing that she couldn't say the same thing and mean it. At least, now right now.
Padmé watched as her deceased grandfather evaporated into thin air with his last few words of assurance. The unique blue glow that had adorned him was now gone and she was left in the soft natural light within the empty forest. Alone once more.
Although she didn't feel very alone.
Not when she knew her grandfather was watching over as he previously stated.
While Padmé still felt torn at the request he made of her, she felt a new sense of hope she hadn't felt in years. Padmé had felt so alone for the past five years. Incredibly alone and isolated but her grandfather let her know that she wasn't alone. Even if she lost her trust in the Force, she wasn't abandoned by it nor was she abandoned by all the Jedi that lived before her.
They were with her.
They always were.
Padmé just needed to find out if she could ever trust the Force again. That was the question she needed to ask herself. It seemed like there wasn't much time either. Not if her grandfather thought the fate of the Jedi rested on her shoulders.
No pressure.
Her mother never mentioned how grim and serious her grandfather could be.
It definitely left an impression.
