The Wings Of Our Dreams

AN: Hello there, dear readers! We once again join Collin and his adventures in the AoT universe. I can only hope I can have this pace in the future. Regardless, I hope you enjoy!

Now to reviews.

InfernoFireStyle: Thanks a lot. And yeah, I do plan on Collin having more interactions with Reiner as the series progresses. Though I honestly feel bad for what will happen to Collin in the future.

seanmcsherry123: I always found it strange that the character from the game was supposed to be incredibly good, but no matter how well you play with him, you never end up in the top 10. I'll try to have my story makes sense when it comes to that.


3 Balance Is Key


Year 847

Fourteenth Entry

So, the introductions went pretty well, for some better than others. I probably would have gotten some flack if Sasha Braus didn't start eating that potato in the middle of formation. Quirky girl, that one.

I've actually talked with Eren after some years since that boat, and with Armin and Mikasa, and boy is Eren determined though also kind of cocky. I sure hope that doesn't come to bite him. Armin is more on the meek side and Mikasa on the stoic, but I think they'll be fun to hang around.

Then there's Jean Kirstein, who's a bit full of himself, but I can tell he's a nice guy. I kinda feel bad for tricking him into punching me.

I also met this guy named Reiner (I hope I spelled that correctly) and he seems cool too. He's definitely the most serious out of all I've met so far.

I hope I get to meet more of them during the ODM training that begins tomorrow.


The next morning, the cadets were brought in front of an area where the ODM training was held. The area was lined with several large constructs, each of which consisted of three pillars met in a single point with a crossbow-like metal contraption on the top that had two wires coming from each end and meeting at the bottom.

"It's aptitude test time, so listen up!" Shadis exclaimed as he stood in front of the cadets. "There is no place for you here if you cannot perform! Fail, and be shifted to the fields!"

Collin looked at several cadets as the wires were strapped to the belt area of their harnesses and slowly lifted up. They tried hard to keep themselves from falling, moving their arms and legs to find their proper balance center.

Collin couldn't help but feel nervous. He never really had to put his balance to the test, and if he failed he's out of the camp. Not that he thought working in the fields was pointless, but there was a reason he applied to be a soldier.

He looked to see Reiner next to a taller but lankier black-haired young man with green eyes. While they seemed to struggle a bit, they definitely did great to keep their balance. Those two were definitely going places.

Soon, all the cadets on the machines were put down, and it was time for the next batch, one which Collin belonged to.

Collin then walked in front of the machine that Reiner was being tested on, and Reiner himself walked up and gave Collin a pat on the shoulder.

"Good luck there. I hope you pass," Reiner said before walking back to the ranks.

"Thanks a bunch," Collin said before swallowing some saliva. The instructor gestured him to move forward. This was the moment of truth.

Collin got himself into position and soon had the wires strapped to his belt. Then the instructor moved the lifting mechanism. As some pressure was applied to his waist and leg area, Collin felt his feet slowly being lifted off the ground.

'Okay, Collin, calm down. This is no different than the time when the other kids dared you to cross that tree that one time,' he tried to assure himself as he made sure not to move too much from the foreign feeling of elevation. 'Well, 'cept this time your legs are spread apart and aren't planted on anything, but ya know, details and all.'

Once he was properly elevated, he focused on keeping his balance, his arms and legs slightly shifting as he slightly swung in the air. Okay, it didn't seem too complicated, as long as he kept himself from shifting too much. But dear God, not standing on anything really felt weird.

Then he gave a look to the side and saw that Mikasa was also on the test, her hair shorter today for some reason. However, she appeared to have no problem doing this at all as she just stared stoically.

'Man, she makes it look easy,' Collin thought. Then he felt himself shift before quickly trying to get himself back into place. 'Dammit, focus, you dunce, focus!'

After a few more moments of keeping his balance, Collin was then slowly put down. He felt a wave of relief wash over him as his feet were firmly on the ground. He passed! He really passed!

Once he was unstrapped from the machine, he walked away with a smile on his face. This was a big step forward in his training and he was sure he'll make more in the future.

He looked at the other cadets who were being lifted and noticed that one of them was actually Eren. However, almost immediately has Eren found himself hanging upside-down with an utterly shocked and baffled look on his face.

Well, that was definitely something Collin didn't think would happen.


Soon it was time for dinner in the mess hall, where Collin enjoyed himself a piece of bread. Man, he missed his ma's cooking, but he knew what he was signing on to, and lavish meals definitely weren't a part of that.

He couldn't help but feel proud that he passed the test today. Though looking over at the table where Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were sitting, he couldn't help but feel bad. They had just returned from Eren's off-duty practice, though judging with how depressed Eren looked Collin reckoned that it didn't go well. The kid looked so depressed Collin could swear he saw smoke coming off of him.

"Hey, mind if we take a seat?" Collin turned to the sound of Reiner's voice and saw the tall guy that was next to him during the test was there as well. And he looked a bit nervous for some reason.

Collin shrugged. "Don't see why not. Go right ahead."

"Thanks," Reiner said with a smile before taking a seat along with his friend. "By the way, this is Bertholdt Hoover."

"Um, nice to meet you," Bertholdt said before somewhat shakily offering his hand.

"Collin Holt. And nice to meet ya as well," Collin said as he took his hand. "And don't worry. I don't bite."

"Eh, don't mind Bertholdt here. He'll get used to you easily," Reiner said while nudging his friend who slightly blushed. "So, looks like you won't be sent to the fields."

"Neither are you, it seems. I have to admit, both of you did pretty well today. Certainly better than me," Collin said.

Bertholdt then scratched the back of his head. "It was nothing special, really. Plenty of others passed the test."

'Well ain't he humble,' Collin thought. "Yeah, but you handled yourselves better than most." He then looked back at Eren's table. "Certainly better than some."

Reiner sighed. "A real shame," he said as he looked at Eren as well. "The kid has the guts and determination, but looks like the capability is a whole other thing."

"He still has some time," Bertholdt said. "Maybe he'll do well, tomorrow."

"Hope he does," Collin said as he watched Eren, Armin, and Mikasa talking, his memories leading him back two years ago on that boat.

Then the bell rang.

"Well, looks like our time here is already over," Reiner said before rising. "Well, that was fast. Hey, Collin, wanna come with?"

"Reiner, look," Bertholdt began. "I'm sure that Collin has better things to-"

"Sure. No problem," Collin said as he finished his bread. "I'd like to hang out with you."

Soon the three of them left the mess hall and went to the sleeping dorms. Collin had a feeling he was about to have some interesting friends.


Some time later, Collin, Reiner, and Bertholdt sat on the bunk beds at the dorms, which were occupied by other cadets who quietly chatted among themselves.

"So, you said before that you are going to join the Scouts once you graduated, correct?" Reiner asked with his arms crossed.

Collin nodded. "Yeah, I made that call a while ago. Originally I didn't plan on joinin' the military at all but, well, life certainly takes you places you never expect."

"But Collin," Bertholdt began. "Surely you've seen-"

"Hey guys!" the three heard a familiar voice as they saw Eren and Armin climbing on the bunk. "Look, I need your help," Eren said desperately. "How do I keep my balance during the test?"

Collin knew this probably would have happened. He really felt bad when he heard the tone of Eren's voice. The problem was, Collin wasn't sure how he could help. "Look, Eren, I don't know what to tell ya. I just focused on not fallin' and not makin' any sudden movements."

"Oh, come on! I've heard from everyone that you were really good at it!" Eren exclaimed. "Bertholdt, Reiner, surely you have some advice!"

"Sorry, kid but there isn't any special trick to just hanging there," Reiner said. "Not to be harsh, but if it's advice you want, I'm not really the guy."

Eren was about to retort, but after all the rejections he got today, he stopped himself and sighed. "Alright."

"Let's just hope it comes to you tomorrow," Armin said reassuringly.

Just as the two were about to leave, Bertholdt spoke up. "Hold on. Aren't the two of you originally from Shiganshina?"

"Yeah, that's right," Armin answered as he sat back.

"Then you should know first-hand how terrifying they are. Why on earth would you wanna be soldiers?"

Armin and Eren exchanged looks before Armin replied. "I didn't see the things Eren did. He saw their bloodlust first-hand before anyone realized how bad it was. And I… I knew I couldn't sit idly by as the royal government forced the citizenry into a failed territorial retrieval operation."

Bertholdt nodded. "I see."

"So, where are the two of you from?" Armin asked.

Collin was now paying attention as he didn't get around to ask the question himself.

Bertholdt looked down. "Oh, Reiner and I? We're both from a mountain village just southeast of Wall Maria."

Armin and Eren gasped while Collin's eyes widened. "But… then that means…" Armin began.

"Yeah, unlike the more prosperous river towns, our village didn't receive word right away," Bertholdt continued. "The Titans were on us before we even knew what was going on." Bertholdt couldn't keep his gaze up as he talked. "It happened at dawn. All the livestock were so restless. Soon after we heard these strange rumblings that just became louder and louder. Eventually, we soon realized that those rumblings were the sound of death… getting closer. I-I've looked out my window and…"

There was a sudden pause in his speech, making Armin swallow in nervousness and Collin put a comforting hand on Bertholdt's shoulder. "Look, you don't have to continue if it's too much for you."

Bertholdt turned to him and smiled. "Thanks, but… there really isn't much more to say. You see, after that… everything is just a blur."

"Hey, easy now," Reiner told his friend. "Don't get yourself worked up again."

"Um, right, sorry. What I'm trying to say is… the five of us here are different from everyone else here. We actually witnessed the Titan's horror."

'So, looks like Reiner told him,' Collin thought as he remembered the day before where he spoke about the Titans.

Reiner then put a hand on Bertholdt's shoulder. "Hey, we better not speak like that in here. The other guys might take offense despite how right it is," he said before turning to the others. "Let's go outside."


The five of them then found themselves walking through the woods next to the dorms, all dressed in green cloaks while carrying lanterns to better navigate through the dark of the night.

"So, as I was saying, most of them are here for show," Bertholdt said as they walked. "To do just what society expects. But honestly, I'm not different from the others. I joined the ranks in hopes to get assigned to the Military Police, tucked away in the interior. If that doesn't work out I'll give up entirely." They moved past some bushes. "I don't have the fortitude for anything else."

"There's no shame in caring about your life Bertholdt," Armin said as they walked over a fence.

"Yeah, we don't expect everyone who had a bad experience to go chargin' to the jaws of death," Collin said. "If you don't wanna relive that horror, then I, and I'm sure the others understand."

Bertholdt couldn't help but smile at that. Collin was someone who was dedicated to fighting the Titans after what they did, so to see him understand that other people wouldn't want to fight gave him some comfort.

"I'm going to return to the home that was taken from me," Reiner said, getting everyone's attention. "That's all I care about now. I will do it. No matter what."

"And what about you?" Bertholdt asked as he turned to Eren. "Why did you sign up?"

A fire appeared in Eren's eyes, the same one he had yesterday. "I decided I have to kill them," he said sternly, making both Bertholdt and Reiner look back. "I won't stop until every single Titan is dead and rotting. Dead. Every last one."

Reiner looked the most shocked out of the two, but then he quickly turned back to look in front of him. "You saw what those monsters were capable of. And yet you still want to take them on?"

"Damn right," Eren said before looking down. "But, after today's training-"

"Eren," Collin interrupted. "Stop thinkin' like that. Trust me, it won't help ya any. You will pass the test tomorrow. I know it."

Eren looked shocked at Collin's words. After almost everyone told him that he was a failure, Collin, who he hardly knew, still had faith in him. It was just… he didn't know how to feel about that.

"Hey Collin," Reiner called out. "Why are you fighting? What made you so determined that you already decided to enlist in the Scouting Regiment?"

Collin looked at Reiner for a few moments, his mouth slightly hanging open. Then he looked down, staring at the lantern in his hand. "Well, y'all probably heard me how I said I enlisted to help humanity. Well, that is true if only partly."

All four of them now paid attention, especially since the tone of his voice suddenly changed, and the look of his eyes shifted.

"Truth is, I'd never have considered joinin' the military, which I told you and Bertholdt about. I always hoped that I'd live out my days in Karno, inherit the family house, work in the fields, marry some sweet country girl, and raise a family."

"Wait, I remember you saying that you were in Shiganshina that day," Eren said.

"Eren, don't interrupt him," Armin scolded.

"Nah, it's fine," Collin assured. "Me, my ma and pa, Amelia and Karlo Holt, were visitin' some of our relatives that day. The next day as we prepared to leave, the Colossal Titan appeared and destroyed the outer gate.

"We ran away as fast as we could. I got lost in the crowd for a little while before my parents found me outside the inner gate. Then the Armored Titan broke through, hurlin' a giant boulder at us. I thought that the end has come, but my pa pushed me away at the last second. I survived, but my ma and pa…"

He stopped before his voice could crack too much, the stare on the lantern in his hand intensifying while his fist tightened.

Eren and Armin couldn't help but look sympathetically at Collin after he told his story. The big guy looked just about ready to tear up. They themselves lost their parents, so they could understand what he was going through.

Reiner and Bertholdt looked sorrowful as well, though to a less extent than Armin and Eren. They exchanged looks for a moment before looking forward.

Collin let out a long breath. "Um, sorry about that. As I was sayin', after that I was brought to the rescue boat by a Garrison soldier. After that, I enlisted to join the military, and the rest you probably know."

"I'm truly sorry," Eren said. "They didn't deserve such fate." His eyes then narrowed and his teeth gritted. "Those Titans. Nothing but a bunch of monsters."

"Eren," Collin spoke softly, getting the young Yeager to look at him. "You said you wanted to kill all the Titans. Well, you're more than welcome but…" Collin's gaze intensified, which honestly caught Eren off guard. "…when it comes to the Armored one, leave 'im to me."

"Wait," Armin said. "You want to take out the Armored Titan?"

Collin nodded. "As I said, helpin' humanity is only one half of the reason. The other is the Armored Titan himself. It may seem selfish, but I want vengeance for what he did to my ma and pa."

"And just how do you plan to do that?" Reiner then asked. "Do you even know what the Armored Titan is capable of? Do you even know if you could hurt him?"

"Honestly, I don't know," Collin said, but his gaze never lessened. "But nothin's unstoppable. I will find a way to kill him. Or die tryin'."

Reiner sighed. "Well, let's hope this doesn't end in your death," he said. "What about your other family? You said you were visiting some relatives. And what about your village?"

"I haven't heard a word from them," Collin said. "My relatives lived very close to the outer gate of Wall Maria. I'm not sure if they survived. As for my village, the only other family I have there is gramps, Ferris Holt. But, my village was located only a few dozen kilometers from Wall Maria."

Bertholdt then came to a realization. "So, your village is also…"

"Yes. It's more than likely overrun by Titans at this point," Collin said before turning to Reiner. "You said you wanted to get back to your hometown. Well, I also plan on gettin' back to mine as well. I'll retake it from the Titans, and live out the rest of my life there." Collin then looked down. "At least, that's what I hope will happen."

"I'm sure you'll get back to your home, Collin," Bertholdt said as he gave Collin a smile. "I can tell you are determined, and that you'll do well in the next three years."

Collin smiled backs. "Thanks, Bert. You're a great guy."

"Oh, um, n-no problem," Bertholdt stammered at the sudden praise.

"So that's what motivated you to join the Scouts? You want revenge and to take back your village?" Eren asked.

"That is my motivation, but at first I wasn't sure about what to do after everythin' that happened. There are other things that inspired me to wantin' to join the Scouts," Collin said.

"And what are those?" Armin asked curiously.

"Well, my grandfather is one of them," Collin said. "You see, my gramps is a former member of the Scouts, lasted a good while, too. Over three decades."

That caused the other four to look surprised. The Scouts were notorious for their massive death tolls, so hearing that one lasted thirty years seemed almost unfathomable.

"That's… amazing," Eren said. "What made him stop?"

"He was forced to," Collin said. "Durin' an expedition, one Titan was able to grab him and bite his legs off. So my gramps had no choice but to retire." Despite all that was said, Collin had a happier expression. "But he never let it get to 'im. He always told that he had done his part for humanity. With every he Titan killed, a lot less lives are lost. He told me that while we may suffer, we will eventually reach our freedom from the Titans. We humans are a stubborn lot, and one day we'll be rid of the Titans, and live the rest of our lives in peace." His expression then dropped. "But I… I don't know if he…"

They didn't need further elaboration than that. Collin's grandfather was a disabled man and considering the Titans overran his village, the old man's chances of survival were very low, if not impossible.

Collin continued. "Well, there was another factor that got me to join the military life."

"What was it?" Eren asked.

"You," Collin answered.

Eren then blinked, looking more shocked than anyone about the answer. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"Because two years ago, the two of us were on the same rescue boat. I was next to you when you spoke about wantin' to eliminate the Titans, and I couldn't help but find my own drive," Collin spoke before looking at the shocked Eren. "So… thank you."

Eren slightly gasped. He never would have thought something like this would happen. It's weird to think that Collin was right next to him those years ago. And hearing him be so grateful, that Collin was inspired by his words… It was now clear why Collin had so much faith in Eren.

"Then I promise I won't fail you," Eren said with determination back in his voice. "I'll pass tomorrow's test. No matter what."

"I know you will," Collin said.

The rest of the walk was relatively quiet as they walked up a hill. They soon found themselves on a cliffside. The clouds parted as moonlight illuminated the lake that was below, giving them a majestic sight.

"We'll take it from step one. Belt adjustment," Reiner said. "By tomorrow you'll be an expert." He then turned to Eren. "I know you've got what it takes, and I'm sure everyone else here knows too. Am I wrong here?"

Eren smiled at him, his spirits up after his last conversation. "No, I won't fail."

"Not sure if I'll be of any assistance," Collin said. "But I 'spose I could give ya some posture tips."

"Thank you," Eren said. "Thank you all."


And then morning came. Eren was once again strapped to one of the machines, with Shadis in front of him and other cadets watching, which of course included Armin, Mikasa, Collin, Reiner, and Bertholdt. After the practice they had last night, it was finally time for Eren's moment of truth.

Eren let out a sweat as eager eyes were upon him.

"Eren Yeager, are you ready?" Shadis asked.

Collin couldn't help but look at the commandant, who didn't have the usual edge in his voice.

"Yes, sir!" Eren exclaimed with a nod.

"Proceed," Shadis ordered, making Thomas begin operating the lifting mechanism.

Eren was slowly lifted into the air.

'C'mon, you can do this, Eren,' Collin thought, hoping for the best.

And when Eren was properly elevated, he adjusted his posture and stayed upright. Cheers came from other cadets, while the ones closer to him were first shocked and then happy.

Eren looked ecstatic at what was happening. He was actually doing it! He was going to-

And then Eren surprisingly lost his posture and fell down again, his head almost hitting the floor if he didn't stop himself with his arms, getting several gasps from the crowd.

Collin couldn't believe what he was seeing. 'No, he can't fail. Not now!' And after all the words of encouragement he gave to Eren, he now felt guilty that he would have to eat his own words.

Looking at Shadis to see what he would do, Collin was shocked to see that the commandant had a look of… regret? He couldn't be sure, but it was definitely something similar.

Shadis then approached Eren, who was still struggling to pull himself back. "No, not yet!" Eren exclaimed. "Once more! I can do it!"

"Lower him," Shadis simply ordered, and Eren soon found himself kneeling on the ground.

"I'm… I'm finished," Eren said, looking as if he was on the verge of tears.

Shadis then turned to Thomas. "Wagner, please exchange belts with mister Yeager."

Everyone was surprised to hear Shadis give such an order, but Thomas complied and gave Eren his belt. Eren was elevated again, and this time he seemed to have a lot less trouble staying upright, making Eren look confused and relieved.

"Your equipment was defective," Shadis said as he held up Eren's belt to show a broken clasp on it. "If given a piece of functional gear you might not be worthless after all. The quartermaster didn't notice this broken clasp. Might have to visit the supply depot and crack a couple of skulls."

"So you mean I… I didn't wash out?" Eren asked hopeful.

"You made the cut," Shadis said. "Now keep training cadet!"

Eren first looked shocked before throwing his arms up triumphantly.

Collin gave a wide smirk before walking between Reiner and Bertholdt and putting his arms around their shoulders, catching both off guard by the action. "Boys, looks like our little Eren ain't goin' anywhere."

Reiner smirked. "Yeah. Looks like things worked out for him."

"Eren probably didn't need us after all," Bertholdt said as he watched Eren balance himself.

"Eh, maybe we helped, maybe we didn't, but I'm sure Eren is grateful regardless," Collin said while shrugging.

"Man, his eyes are screaming 'check me out'!" Armin said as he looked proudly at his friend.

"They're not," Mikasa said, making the four boys look at her. "They're saying he doesn't have to leave me. Not anymore."

Collin sweatdropped when he heard that. 'Really? I think he is a lot more excited that he is actually able to fight. What's with this girl and Eren?'

Well, whatever the case, they were only moving forward from this point on. After everything that happened, Collin was indeed hopeful for the future.


AN: And that is it for now! We got some more backstory on Collin, and we see him have some interactions with other characters, Reiner and Bertholdt especially (dear god, I'm starting to feel guilty for doing that). The next chapter should cover the ODM training that happens in those three years. And I promise that other chapters will have more original content, and not just be repeats of episodes from the anime.

And I once again implore you to check out my other stories. And leave a review. They are great motivators.

See you next time!