The Wings Of Our Dreams

AN: Hello there, my dear readers! Here's another chapter for you all. Hope you enjoy!


11 Calm Before The Storm


Year 850

Forty-sixth entry

Finally, I get to write in this thing again! Sorry for being absent for so long but I had a little accident where my arm was broken. Man, was that a real bummer. Anyway, we're nearing the end of graduation and had a lot, and I mean a lot of catching up to do. Though what happened in the meantime is that I got myself a girlfriend in Annie Leonhart (I know, I'm shocked too) and learned to more or less write with my left hand.

But I'm holding my own fairly well, and I'm looking forward to graduation. Soon, I'll end up joining the Scouting Regiment. I also can't wait for the celebration that is soon to follow. I have a feeling we're gonna have a great time.


"Ya know, Sash, I don't think I can really teach ya anythin'!" Collin exclaimed as he zipped across the tree line before making a sharp turn.

Sasha followed him, matching his speed and momentum as she smiled. "Well, ya know, better safe than sorry!" she said in her natural accent as she got ahead of him. "'Sides, ya have a problem hangin' out with good 'ol me?"

"Nah, that ain't it!" Collin said. "I mean, our last test is tomorrow, and ya can't learn anythin' else from me."

"Then think of it as keepin' ourselves in shape!" Sasha said as she fired off another cable. "Really keeps ya on your- WHOA!"

The cable hook then unstuck itself from the tree bark, making Sasha lose her momentum. She would have fallen further down if a strong arm didn't find itself wrapped around her waist.

Collin audibly chuckled making her look up at him. "Sorry, darlin', but looks like ya forgot not to get distracted!"

He then used his gear to descend down, with both his and Sasha's feet firmly stomping on the ground.

"I hope ya didn't plan on doin' that tomorrow," Collin jested with a smile.

Sasha blushed and rubbed her arm, reactions to both her blunder and to how Collin was holding her. Not to mention the 'darling' nickname.

"N-no, I definitely didn't," Sasha confirmed.

"Right then, so," Collin began as he pointed up the trees with his blade. "Shall we do 'nother test run? As you said, better safe than sorry!"

Sasha then nodded and the two of them flew up, and this time went without any unfortunate accidents.


And soon, the test came and gone, with the graduation arriving not too long after. Out of all the cadets, two hundred and thirteen passed.

Now, all those graduates stood in front of the podium where the instructors stood. It was dark, with some torch there to provide illumination.

"Do you have heart?!" an instructor with blonde hair shouted.

The cadets saluted while simultaneously replying "Sir!"

The instructor continued. "As of this moment you have three options open to you! Choose wisely! The Garrison Regiment, whose job is to reinforce the Walls! The Scout Regiment, who ride out into the Titan country to take back what was once ours! And the MP regiment who maintain law and order under the orders of his loyal majesty!"

Shadis then walked in front. "Though out of all of you, only some will get the opportunity to join the Military Police!" he exclaimed as he looked over all the saluting cadets. "I will now announce the top ten graduates! Step forward when you hear your name!"

The cadets then went out of their salute.

"Number ten, Krista Lenz! Number nine, Sasha Braus! Number eight, Connie Springer! Number seven, Marco Bodt! Number six, Jean Kirstein! Number five, Eren Yeager! Number four, Annie Leonhart! Number three, Bertholdt Hoover! Number two, Reiner Braun! And our top-ranking student, Mikasa Ackerman!"

The ten called stepped in front of others and stood in a line before they all gave the salute.

"Behold, these are the top ten of your class!"

Collin stood among the crowd of the two hundred cadets and looked at his friends with a smile. He couldn't help but feel proud of them for their achievements.

Still, he kinda felt bad that couldn't be him. Sure, he wouldn't join the Military Police, but still, being in the top ten was an acknowledgment of your skill. But hey, he couldn't really complain. He was getting into the Scouts regardless.

"However!" Shadis suddenly called out, getting the attention of everyone. He then walked down and passed those ten cadets. "These results are based on scores during training! Whether you can put those skills in actual combat is another matter entirely!

"Those of you who didn't rank should think long and hard," Shadis said as he looked over the unranked cadets, his eyes landing on Collin's briefly. "What can you do? What should you try to achieve?"

Shadis then returned back where he was in front of every cadet. "Tomorrow you'll be asked which regiment you would like to join! From this moment, the 104th Cadet Corps is officially… disbanded!"


With the graduation ceremony ended, the cadets were given a chance to celebrate it in one of the mess halls where the official soldiers were allowed to attend. It had a lot more space, bigger tables, and higher quality food. So it wasn't just things like water, potato soup, and bread.

The mood was pretty fine, that is until Thomas asked Eren about why he wanted to join the Scouts if he was in the top ten. Eren gave his own speech about people shouldn't just lay down and take it, and that as long as someone was willing to fight back against the Titans then it would be enough. He got out of the mess hall along with Armin and Mikasa, but the speech definitely left an impression on some people.

Collin was seated at one of the tables along with Reiner and Berhtoldt.

"Congrats to you two!" Collin exclaimed as he raised his mug. "Third and second?! Quite an achievement, ya have to admit!"

Reiner smiled amusingly. "Well, I wouldn't really brag, but yeah, I guess it is pretty great," he said before taking a drink.

"Though, it's also a shame," Bertholdt chimed in while leaning his head into his fist. "You almost made it to the top ten, Collin. I mean, you placed eleventh among the cadets."

Collin waved dismissively. "Eh, it ain't no biggie. As I said, I'm goin' to the Scouts, so me not bein' in the top ten doesn't really change much."

"As positive as always," Reiner commented.

"So, which regiments are you two joinin'?" Collin asked. "I know ya flip-flopped between the Scouts and the MPs so which is it?"

"Well, to be honest," Reiner began. "It's the Scouts for me."

"Really?" Collin asked, his eyebrow raised. "What made you wanna join?"

"Come on, you should know me by now. The safety of the Interior sounds appealing, but that just isn't me," Reiner explained. "I'm a soldier, and I want to fight. Laying behind the Walls as an over-glorified watchdog isn't on my agenda."

"Same here," Bertholdt said. "I originally thought I'd end up in the Military Police but, well… I couldn't just leave my comrades to fight while I'm safe in the Interior."

"Oh, so you sure it wasn't because of that little speech Eren gave?" Collin asked.

"Heh, the kid can be persuasive," Reiner said. "But no, we decided ourselves."

"Well then, boys," Collin said with a smile, his mug held up. "I'm glad to have ya on the battlefield with me."

Bertholdt and Reiner smiled before raising their own mugs and meeting Collin's, shaking their contents before all three took a drink.

"Man, this stuff's not bad," Collin commented the drink before putting it down. "Sorry guys, but I'll have to leave ya for a bit. Nature calls."

Reiner shrugged. "If you gotta go, you gotta go."

Collin nodded before rising up and leaving the table. As he walked he passed a table where Annie was seated. The blond girl then gave him a look to which he brought his hand to his shoulder and tapped it with his middle and index finger.

Annie gave him a hardly noticeable nod before returning to her drink.

On another table were Sasha, Mina, Ymir, and Krista, and the four girls watched the young Holt leave the mess hall.

"Well, looks like our little country boy has a potty break," Ymir jokingly said.

Mina then turned to Sasha. "You know, if you don't tell him soon then-"

Sasha sighed loudly and palmed her face. "Yeah, I know. You told me already. I'll tell him when he comes back."

"Really?" Mina said unimpressed. "You also said you would tell him that night, but you chickened out and it suddenly became training. Where you still haven't told him."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it! I should have done that sooner!" Sasha said before taking a long sigh to calm down.

"Please, guys, don't bother her," Krista said as she touched Sasha's shoulder. "I believe you can do it."

Sasha smiled at the small girl. "Oh, thank you, Krista! That means a lot."

"Well, country folk do need to stick together I suppose," Ymir said somewhat bored. She then gained a smirk. "Hey, Sasha, why don't you wear that little dress you wore in Trost?" Ymir asked as she nudged the stunned girl. "Maybe it'll help you get lucky tonight."

Sasha was now blushing heavy red from what the freckled girl said.

"Ymir, stop teasing her!" Krista said as she narrowed her gaze.

Ymir brought her hands up. "What? I'm being serious. You should have seen how Collin was staring at her."

And Sasha's embarrassment increased the more Ymir spoke. She began to wonder if that was such a good idea after all.

Then the four's attention was brought to Annie as she passed their table. Like Collin, she also got out of the mess hall.

"I wonder what Annie's up to," Mina said.

Ymir shrugged. "Maybe she's decided to take Collin for herself," she said after which Sasha had a panicked look on her face.

"Ymir! Stop it!"

"Oh, c'mon Krista."

Back with Reiner and Bertholdt, the two also watched Annie leave before Reiner turned to his friend.

"Listen, Bertholdt," Reiner said. "I think it's time for you to come clean with Annie."

Bertholdt blinked at the sudden statement. "W-what? But… I mean… Why now?"

Reiner's gaze intensified. "You know exactly why," he said which made Bertholdt flinch. "These are our last peaceful times. You know what will happen after, and we'll all be in danger. So you better say it now."

"But… But what if she-?"

"You won't know until you ask!" Reiner interrupted. "Look, as I said, this might be your only opportunity. Do you want to waste it?"

Bertholdt bit his lip before looking down at his drink. He downed some of the alcohol and gained a determined look on his face before standing up.

"Alright, I'm going," Bertholdt said.

Reiner grinned. "That's the spirit."

Bertholdt then left the table and headed for the door. Before he got close he was stopped by the familiar voice of Ymir.

"Hey, Bertie, is the outside really popular these days or something?"

Bertholdt turned to the girls' table and saw all three of them looking at him, which prompted him to slightly sweat. "Well, I… I need to tell Annie something."

"Oh, is that so?" Ymir asked with crossed arms and a smirk. "You aren't just going to be Staretholdt anymore?"

"Wh-what are you-?"

"Ah, save it!" Ymir interrupted him. "You were as subtle about it as a brick to the face."

Bertholdt silently grumbled, remembering Reiner telling him the same thing. Seriously, did everyone know?


Meanwhile, Annie walked behind the mess hall building where she saw Collin leaning against the wall, hands behind his head, and an amused look on his face.

"Hey there, shortcake," Collin said.

"So what did you need me?" Annie as she stood in front of him.

"Well…" His voice trailed off before he suddenly wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her. She didn't have any time to yelp before her lips were taken by his.

She got over her shock and wrapped her arms around his neck before kissing him back. They did this every so often, where they would meet somewhere in secret so they could get more personal with each other, which mostly included kissing, and sometimes getting more handsy but nothing too far yet.

They separated for a moment as Annie gave him a smirk. "So that's why you called me? No talking, just making out?"

"Well, I am in a celebratory mood," Collin said before bringing one of his arms to her thigh, making it easier for him to hold up her short frame. "Aren't you, number four?"

"You're insufferable," she said with a still-present smirk.

"Maybe, though I didn't see ya complainin' about it," Collin said before he resumed kissing her.

They stood there, their lips mashing together for a little while as they embraced each other, their combined body heat easily overpowering the chilly air. Collin got bolder and started using his tongue more, to which she looked ready to return.

Then the two of them came to a sudden stop when they heard an audible gasp come from a short distance away. They saw Bertholdt looking at them, wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

Silence permeated the air, which suddenly felt a lot colder, as Collin slowly put Annie down. Several more moments of awkwardness followed, with the three of them seemingly having a stare-down.

"I…" Bertholdt tried to find the right words, but his brain was still somewhat overloaded by the image of his friend kissing his crush. "I… I think… I-I think I should go."

Collin tried to defuse the situation. "W-wait, Bertholdt-"

Bertholdt then turned around and walked away in a hurry, leaving the two alone again but in a whole different mood.

Collin and Annie looked at each other, with Annie actually looking as unsure as he was.

"I… I think we should head back inside," Collin suggested.

Annie nodded.


Bertholdt walked through the door of the mess hall, a sour look way too obvious on his face.

"Wow, was it really that bad?" Ymir said as she and the other girls looked at Bertholdt.

Bertholdt stopped when Ymir asked that. He took a deep breath to keep his emotions in check. "Annie was with Collin."

The moment those words left his mouth, the four looked at him absolutely stunned.

"Um, what did you say?" Sasha asked after regaining some composure.

Bertholdt grit his teeth behind his lips. Dear God, he didn't want to repeat himself. "Annie was with Collin! Like, she was with him!"

The rise in Bertholdt's voice got the attention of several other cadets, even Reiner put his drink down when he heard what his taller friend was saying.

"H-huh?!" Sasha exclaimed as she stared wide-eyed.

"Oh, boy."

The cadets then turned to the entrance where they saw Collin and Annie standing next to the rail. They couldn't help but feel awkward as there were so many eyes fixed upon them, the mess hall falling briefly into silence.

Collin scratched the side of his head. "Well, there could've been worse ways of people findin' out?"

"Oh, and just what might that have been?" Annie asked.

"I, uh… Well, it could've…" Collin stammered. "Gimme a minute, I'll think of somethin'."

Annie groaned while facepalming. God, Collin could sometimes be annoying.

"So… should we sit together or…?"

Annie sighed. "I think I should sit alone for a little while."

"Um, right. I'll… I'll come to ya later," Collin to which she simply gave a nod.

As Collin walked back he tried to avoid the gaze of Sasha and others, which kinda made it more awkward than it should have been. When he came to his table he saw that Bertholdt was already seated, his hands grasping his head while Reiner held his shoulder in comfort.

"Hey, uh," Collin said as he slowly took a seat. "So, um, yeah. In case ya didn't notice, me and Annie are a thing."

"Oh, trust me, it was quite noticeable," Reiner said, though seemingly more curious than annoyed. "And since when did you two happen?"

"Well, it was… a little while ago," Collin said before seeing the look Bertholdt was giving him. "But I swear it was before ya told us you liked her, Bert."

"And you kept this a secret because…?"

"Because Annie didn't want anyone findin' out just yet," Collin explained. "Trust me, I would've told you otherwise."

Bertholdt put his hands down. "So, all that time we spoke about it, and all the time you've encouraged me, it was all just so you could cover for yourself? To not make yourself look suspicious?"

Collin honestly felt tense when he saw the annoyed expression on Bertholdt's face, which seemed completely unlike him.

"Yeah, I'm… I'm so sorry for doing that," Collin said, finding it hard to look his friend in the eye. "I honestly shouldn't have been like that, but you know my brain doesn't fully register what I'm doin' before I do it." Collin gave a strained smile but quickly dropped it when Bertholdt's expression didn't change. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead ya on, I just… Ah, goddammit, I don't know what I was thinking."

Collin honestly didn't know how else this would have gone down. Like, maybe they would have revealed it later and Bertholdt would react differently? Thinking about it now, yeah, it didn't seem likely.

"It doesn't matter," Bertholdt said before downing his drink and rising. "I'm gonna get some more."

"Well, isn't this a peculiar situation," Reiner commented as his friend left before looking at Annie's table.

A table that was now swarmed with other girls who were curious about her and Collin, and asked a plethora of questions. And Annie couldn't be more annoyed.

"Still though, I didn't think Annie would actually be in a relationship," Reiner said before taking a drink.

Collin sighed. "Yeah, well, she has more layers to 'er," he said before taking a sip but finding it empty. "I'm gonna get more drinks as well. Feels like I'm gonna need it."

Back with Ymir and the others, Sasha now lay face-first on the table with Mina and Krista trying to comfort her.

"Heh, that was quite a turn of events," Ymir commented before taking a drink. "Have to be honest, I thought he'd be with you as well."

Sasha slammed her fist on the table. "Oh, will you stop rubbing it in?!"

"Oh, Sasha," Krista said as she rubbed her friend's back. "Look, it was unexpected. But I'm sure-"

"Please, Krista, don't," Sasha begged as she looked up with teary eyes. "I just can't believe it. I was certain that… that..."

Ymir walked around the table before leaning down and putting her arm around Sasha, much to the girl's surprise. "Hey, listen, whining about it isn't gonna help you," she said before giving a toothy smirk. Ymir then brought her mug in front of Sasha's face before wiggling it a bit. "But I know something that miiiight."

Sasha looked at the drink before glancing back at Ymir. "You can't be serious."

Ymir shrugged. "Fine. Feel sad."

Sasha grumbled under her breath before taking the mug away from Ymir and downing it in one go before slamming it down.

"Whoa, calm down!" Mina said.

Ymir would normally be upset but in this case she tapped Sasha on the back. "Atta girl! Let me get us some more!"


Sometime later, the mess hall became emptier as it was getting quite late. Though there were still plenty of people celebrating. Bertholdt retired for the night, leaving Collin and Reiner behind, which made things less awkward.

"And this night started so well," Collin said, his cheeks slightly red from the amount he drank.

Reiner chuckled, his cheeks also slightly blushed. "Well, you got nobody to blame but yourself."

"Heh, true that," Collin said as wiggled his mug and watched the contents inside it swirl. "So, you think we had enough for tonight?"

Reiner shrugged. "Don't know. We might get some more."

"Ya filthy sonuvabitch!"

Collin and Reiner jolted in their seats when they heard that shout behind them. They saw that it was Sasha stumbling towards them, a heavy blush on her face that was marred with a frown.

"Um, I think that's for you," Reiner said before standing up. He really didn't want to be a part of this.

"What- Hey, wait a-!" Collin tried to call for his friend but Reiner already walked away. 'That damn traitor! I swear I'll get 'im for this!'

Shaking his head, Collin rose and faced the tipsy girl as she moved forward. "Uh, hi there, Sash. How-?"

She immediately put her index finger in front of his face, surprising him. "Don't you 'Sash' me, ya big lug! Ya ain't avoidin' this talk!"

"Sasha, your accent's slippin'," Collin warned. While he didn't want her to keep it hidden for too long, revealing it as hammered as she was didn't seem like a good idea.

"I don't give…" She slightly swerved before shaking her head. "I don't give a damn! You've been leadin' me on!"

Collin blinked. "Wh-what?"

"Oh, don't ya act all innocent on me!" Sasha said before grabbing him by the shirt. "You've got a lot of nerve! Drawin' me, callin' me pretty, havin' me open up to ya! And you go an' get with that bloody ice queen?!"

"You tell him, Sasha!" Ymir shouted from across the room, a mug of alcohol in her hand raised high.

Collin gave the freckled girl an annoyed look, and in turn, he received a grin and mocking wave. 'Ymir. Of course, it was Ymir.'

Sasha then began poking his chest as she glared with half-lidded eyes. "So, what've you gotta say for- Urk!" Sasha gagged before she completely lost her balance and fell forward, landing face-first on Collin's chest. She ended up mumbling something into his shirt which couldn't really be made sense of.

Letting out a sigh, Collin put an arm across her back, and with the other he reached down behind her legs before hoisting her up, making her slur some words. He then headed towards the exit.

"Oh, and just what're ya tryna ta do, huh?" Sasha asked. "Ya think ya can am-mends now?" She then began pounding his chest with her fist, though considering her intoxication, it didn't really affect him. "Well, it ain't gonna be-"

Collin then gave her a shake, making her head more wobbly and unfocused.

"Sasha, ya ain't bein' reasonable," Collin said seriously. "I'm gettin' ya to the barracks. Ya need a clear head for tomorrow." He then gave Ymir a glare to which she just coyly smiled.

"We should repeat this some other time, Sasha!" Ymir said, and Sasha just laughed while giving a shaky thumbs up before Collin got out. "Man, those two are really- HEY!"

Krista suddenly pulled Ymir by the arm as they headed for the exit as well.

"What are you doing, Krista?!" Ymir demanded as Krista pulled with a surprising amount of strength.

Krista looked back with a very annoyed expression. "We're leaving!"

"Huh? Why?!"

"Because you dealt enough damage for one night!"


Collin arrived near the women's barracks and put Sasha's legs down so he could reach the doorknob, which was accompanied by a heavy moan from Sasha.

"Man, Ymir had ya really good with that alcohol," Collin commented as he opened the door.

"Why?" Sasha moaned out.

"Hmm?"

"Why Annie of all people?" she asked through trembling eyelids as she tried to stay awake. "I honestly thought that, well…"

"Sasha, I understand ya, I really do, but," Collin said. "Look, some don't really see it that way, but I think you're a great girl, and I really like ya. But the thing is, Annie asked me first, and, well, I decided to give it a shot."

"Sh-she asked you?" Sasha said. After Collin nodded, Sasha chuckled. "So, if I just asked you sooner, then, you would have…?"

"Yeah, I probably would," Collin said with a smile. "But… you don't think I'll just break up with Annie 'cause of that?"

"N-no," Sasha said as she found it really hard to stay awake. "I guess… that wouldn't… be really fair."

"I'm sorry, Sash," Collin said as he looked down at her. "I'm puttin' ya to bed now."

"Heh, thanks," she said before her eyes closed and she drifted into dreamland.

Collin smiled. He was reminded of the first day at boot camp, especially with that adorable snore of hers. What he said was true, he would gladly have been with her if she asked him, but Annie beat her to it. He hoped that this wouldn't at least impact what they already had.


When Collin walked out of the barracks he was stunned to see someone waiting for him. It was none other than commandant Shadis himself, standing there with his usual expression and his hands behind his back.

"Oh, commandant," Collin said. "What can I do for ya?"

Shadis' eyes narrowed slightly before he turned around. "Come with me," he said before walking away.

Collin raised an eyebrow at the request but complied and followed.

The two were then in Shadis' office where Shadis once again faced Collin.

"Holt, from today onward, you're no longer a cadet under me, but an official soldier of humanity," Shadis said, his voice lacking his usual roughness.

Collin nodded. "Yes, sir."

"However, if it weren't for your little accident at training," Shadis said with Collin slightly grasping his right arm. "There is no doubt in my mind that you would be among the top ten graduates."

"Oh, thank you," Collin said with a smile.

"I wasn't finished," Shadis said in a sterner tone which made Collin stiffen. "So, I heard that you were planning on joining the Scouts. In that case, regardless of your skill, you cannot afford to make those mistakes. During training, it cost you your grade. Out there it will cost you your life."

Collin looked down. "I… I understand, sir. I promise I won't make the same mistake again."

"Hopefully you won't."

A brief silence stood between them as Collin looked back at Shadis. "So, is that all ya wanted to tell me?"

"As your instructor, yes," Shadis said with a nod. "However, now I'll ask you something more personal."

That got Collin's full attention. Shadis never did anything like this.

"Back then, two years ago when I gave you that punishment," Shadis began to which Collin slightly looked embarrassed from being reminded. "Was that just a simple slip up when you called me 'commander'?"

Collin was caught off guard by the question. Shadis really remembered that moment? Seeing the look in his golden eyes, Collin could tell Shadis was expectant for the answer.

And at this point, Collin had nothing to hide.

"Not really, commandant," Collin admitted. "I do remember ya from five years ago when you came back with the Scouts from your expedition." Shadis' eyes slightly widened and his lips parted. "I, well, I wasn't really sure if it was you, but after hearin' your voice, I also recalled your facial features. I knew you were the same commander from back then."

Shadis' mouth closed. "I see," he said as his pupils looked down for a moment before returning. "So, you were that boy that saluted me."

Collin smiled before giving his salute. "Indeed, sir."

"But why?" Shadis asked. "I was a failure. Never once has my expedition brought anything of significance. All I ever did was lead my men to certain death, and with nothing to show for it. So I ask you, why would you salute a failure like me?"

"Because you're worthy of respect," Collin said. "You people decided to give your lives so humanity will be safe from the Titans. No matter how dark it appears, the Scouts continue on fightin' for us, for everythin' we lost over hundred years ago. I know people may look at it as a waste of time, but I hold onto hope. We humans are a stubborn sort, we'll continue fightin', and we'll eventually reach our goal. I believe that all the blood and sweat we spill will be worth it in the end, no matter how meaningless it seems."

Shadis stood silently for several moments. He now understood why Collin was never angry at him for all those years of training and punishment he endured. Collin knew from the start who Shadis was, and he understood why he did what he did.

Shadis finally responded. "And you think you'll be able to make a difference."

"I'll give it my all, sir."

"Well then… I wish you the best of luck."

Collin smiled. "I promise you, nobody will have to carry my remains back. I'll make sure to leave my mark."

Shadis nodded. "Alright. You are dismissed."

"I'll see ya later, sir," Collin said before he left the office.

Shadis stared at the door for a little while before actually smiling. 'Collin Holt. I wasn't certain before, but now I know you won't disappoint me.'


AN: And that is it for now, my dear readers! Well, that was some celebration our dear cadets had. I wanted to end the chapter when the Colossal appeared again, but I thought it was too long already so this'll do.

And I implore you all to check out my other stories. Trust me they are worth it.

And leave a review. They are great motivators.

See you next time!