4 YEARS LATER

It was strange how time passed. The last year had both passed at a snail's pace and yet each day seemed to drag. It was already one year from the final stand against Voldemort and his inevitable fall and already one year from the day he took my parents down with him. Today was supposed to be a day of celebration, of thanks, and yet I wasn't in a very thankful mood. Those of us who could bring ourselves to return to school had gathered at Hogwarts, standing witness as Professor Dumbledore took to the front of the hall and spoke about the past year. He took his time honouring those that had given their lives so that we could all live in freedom. And I appreciated each sacrifice, I truly did, but why had I been one of the people to lose the most?

Salazar, it made me ungrateful and played into so many stereotypes of my house, and yet sometimes I wished it hadn't been me, that it had been someone else. Even now as I stood off to one corner of the hall, my eyes would flicker through the crowd and linger on members of the crowd who had lost no one. They didn't know the loss and yet they continued to nod as if they understood it all the same. How could they? I regretted those thoughts as quickly as they came.

An arm, steadying as always, settled firmly around my shoulder. I didn't need to look to my left to know that it was James who now stood so comfortingly against me. Silently, he continued to listen to Professor Dumbledore and drew me towards him. Wrapping my arm around his waist, I turned into James's side. Burrowing my head against his shoulder, I took in a deep breath of his soothing scent, letting it calm me just the way it had in the months following my parents' deaths. James wrapped his free arm around me as well, cradling me securely as he continued to listen. At least one of us was listening. I was too busy using James to drown out Dumbledore's words. I wasn't ready to listen to him yet. No, my brain was too occupied with something else.

When Profesor Dumbledore was done speaking, the hall broke into smatterings of applause and rather than drawing away from James, I just reached around him to join in. All around us the crowd of returned students mingled and for some, caught up after having not seen one another for years. I took the cue to move away from James, not that he let me move too quickly.

"Sweetheart," he stated slowly, keeping his head near my own so no one else could breach our privacy. He brushed his nose gently against the shell of my ear before kissing me on the forehead. I closed my eyes at the contact, "Are you alright?"

"I'm alright," I said, drawing back from him. This time, James let me go. Not that I moved far. When he searched my face with concerned eyes, I offered him a reassuring smile, "I mean it. I'm missing Mum and Dad. That's it."

And he understood, better than most people would. The loss of parents was grief we shared, the grief we'd helped one another through. In that moment of shared eye contact, there were a million words exchanged and I couldn't ask for me. Stepping forward, James reached out and grasped my hands in his. He held them steady, drawing me forward and leaning down to give me a gentle kiss. I rose onto my toes, returning it and smiling against his mouth. No matter how tough this day was, he remained a steady, soothing presence.

Drawing back, James asked, "Do you want to head home? Everyone's just catching up and I know you're not in the mood for small talk."

I definitely was not in the mood for small talk and yet, my eyes flickered over his shoulder toward his closest friends. The two friends he'd yet to speak to since we'd returned from our honeymoon because we'd found ourselves too occupied with settling our family estates. There was so much there they needed to catch up over and I didn't want to cut this short for them.

"Don't you want to talk to Sirius and Remus?"

"It's fine." When I continued to watch him dubiously, he insisted, "They're coming to ours tomorrow for brunch anyway."

"They are?"

"Oh." He offered me a sheepish smile, "Did I forget to mention it? Do you want me to cancel?"

"No, no. Just remind me that we need to go shopping before we go home."

He kissed me again, trying to make up for blindsiding me, "You're wonderful. Are you sure you don't want to get out of here?"

"Before that," I reached for his hand, linking our fingers together, "can we go for a walk? It's been so long since we were here."

Hand in hand we made our way through the Great Hall, squeezing through the crowd of people who continued to approach us to congratulate us on our new nuptials. Every time we were made to stop, he apologetically squeezed my hands and handled all the small talk before we finally made our way out of the Great Hall. We walked together in silence, not needing to fill it with any words. We continued to walk and even without mentioning a destination, we both knew just where we were headed.

Leaving the castle, we approached the greenhouses and when we were close enough, James dropped my hand. He jogged forward to greenhouse number 7 which was for some reason never used. Which was just as good for us, considering the number of times we'd snuck into it to get some time alone.

I lingered back, watching as James unlocked the door and set about warding it with all manner of spells to keep people away. Salazar, this took me back to our year spent together in Hogwarts. When he'd finished his wandwork, James looked at me with the same handsome smile and the same eager extended hand. All too readily, I went to his side and followed his lead into the greenhouse.

Stepping inside, I shut the door behind us and looked around. Scrunching my nose in disgust, I wondered, "Has this place even been cleaned since we were last in here? It can't have gone four years without being cleaned, surely?"

"I have no idea why this place is still here." His smile shifted, growing more suggestive as he approached me. "Lucky for us, it's still here."

I let myself be led, like all those years ago, until my back hit the counter of the table behind me. Taking me by the waist, James lifted me onto the surface and I reached for him, drawing him between my parted thighs. I expected him to kiss me the way he always did, but he didn't. Pressing his hands on either side of me, he considered me for a moment, tilting his head.

"What?" I asked, lifting a hand to his hair.

"Feel like talking about it?" he probed softly, making my smile fade.

Looping my arms around his neck, I drew James closer to me until our chests were brushing. Leaning forward, I rested my forehead against his own. "Both our parents had one wish - they wanted to see their grandkid before they passed, remember?"

Nodding silently, James's eyes flickered between my own. It could have gone without saying and he didn't need me to say it. But I leaned forward, pressing my lips against his shoulder, "I think I'm pregnant."

I felt James's chest move as he took in a deep breath but he spoke tentatively, resting his head against mine, "You think?"

"I haven't had the chance to take the test yet." It was a lie, and he deserved the truth. "That's not true, I'm just scared to take it, I guess."

"I'll be there." Straightening up, I looked up into James's eyes when he shrugged before saying, "It's just another thing to add to the shopping list. Whatever happens, we'll handle it. Alright?"

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me." James's hands reached out, clasping my waist as he lowered his head teasingly towards my own. "Although, if you do want to thank me; one more time? For old time's sake?"

"No!" I slapped his chest, making him wince.

Laughing and rubbing at the spot I'd hit him, he said, "Fine, fine, no need for violence."

Glancing behind him, I dubiously eyed the glass of the greenhouse. "Are you sure you cast all the spells?"

"As I'd ever forget," he said, already closing the space between us. All too eagerly, I drew him towards me and hoped that this wouldn't be like the one time where he had forgotten to cast a spell and we'd wound up with detention for a week. But, it wasn't like we were students anymore so really, what did it matter?