Oof. Guys. I am so sorry. I never intended Carlisle to be unlikeable. But a resounding number of you did not enjoy their first impression of him! He was meant to be a to-the-book, rule-following fellow, whose only goal is to keep his beloved family safe. I guess it was a mistake to have his first introduction be supporting Rosalie's rampage. I'll have to add a few extra scenes of Carlisle being a good dad to help his case!
B-POV
"Now that is a fantastic look."
I looked up from my laptop and immediately flushed. As my coursework grew, so did my laundry pile. I had run out of my nicer, vintage pieces after the first week, and my standard sweater and leggings ran out just as quickly. That day, I was slumming it in my coziest sweatshirt and sweatpants. The outfit didn't stick out by any means—students walked around in pajamas, workout clothes, and sometimes in costume. I didn't expect anyone to comment on my clothing—least of all Edward.
Edward didn't know what to make of my blank stare and hurried to explain, "I own the exact pair." He rifled through the front pocket of his backpack and shoved something onto his face. "See?"
My shoulders slumped. He was only referring to my glasses, not mocking my outfit. Sure enough, he had the same pair. Round with a gold wire frame. They weren't anything I would pick for myself; I thought the round frames made me look rounder. But when Charlie found my prescription at an Estate sale, he decided it was fate and bought them. Edward was the opposite. The glasses made him look even more handsome—his boyish charm more distinguished. He was entirely too beautiful. I had to look down; it was too easy to lose my train of thought when I looked at his face for too long.
"You'll have to add glasses to our list."
A smile tugged at the corner of my lips, thrilled that he was not taunting me, but also continuing our little inside joke. Without being asked, I pulled out the notebook and added glasses to our ever-growing list of similarities.
When I said nothing more, he gestured to the chair across from me, "May I?"
"Of course." I pushed my textbooks to one side of the table.
"Do you often come to the library to do your homework?" he asked, pulling out a few textbooks of his own from his backpack.
"No, this is my first time. There's nowhere to sit in my house at the moment."
Edward quirked his head, silently asking me to elaborate.
"Charlie decided he was going to learn to reupholster furniture through a series of videos. He'd gotten through the first one and took apart all our seating… three days ago."
Edward chuckled. The sound replayed in my head like a catchy tune. "When will you be able to sit again?"
I shrugged, "Whenever he gets around to watching the second video, I suppose."
"And what brought you to this table?"
"Happenstance."
I stumbled upon this table merely by accident. It was only accessed through the back elevator on a top mezzanine that wasn't attached to the main staircase, tucked behind the section of children's books for Elementary Education students. It was on the complete opposite side from the main work area for students, above the private offices of staff members. I had been thrilled to find the remote table. It was like my own secret garden, but for books.
Edward flipped to a page in a textbook and started to write. The conversation clearly over, but I wasn't finished talking to him. He was like the shining light dangling above the angler fish of heartbreak, and I was the dumb, gullible fish. I echoed the question he asked me, "Do you often come to the library to do your homework?"
"I do. Every day. At this exact table."
"Oh my god." I stood and collected my things in a rushed frenzy. "I am so sorry. I didn't realize."
He quirked an eyebrow. "Sit down, Bella. I don't own it."
I sat, making an embarrassingly loud squeak as the chair scooted back on the linoleum floor. "You're sure you don't mind me intruding in your space?"
"Not at all. In fact, your intrusion makes this little corner much more enjoyable."
In my chest, my heart sputtered, overwhelmed by the polite gesture. As I often needed to do in Edward's presence, I reminded myself whatever we had was less than I wanted it to be. It was too easy to look into his eyes and see emotions that could not be there. Any passion or desire swirling in his golden gaze would be a figment of my imagination. A romantic fantasy that would remain in my head.
I lowered my gaze to where it was safe—the top margin of my notebook—and kept it there.
This time, he was the one to restart the conversation. He noticed the book for our classic literature course sitting on the table. "Have you started on your essay for class?"
"…Not yet."
"Do you know what you're going to write about?"
I frowned at my copy of American Psycho. Patrick Bateman's grainy face stared back without a trace of emotion.
"I'll take that as a no." He rested both elbows on the table and leaned it. "If you think it would help, we could talk through it. And the reasons you didn't like it."
"What makes you say I didn't like it?"
"The face you're making right now."
Another chuckle. Another spike in my heartbeat. Another reminder of who I am.
"It's not that I didn't like it. Obviously, I could tell it was a good write. Set the proper tone and maintained it. Sprinkled in enough comic relief to make the reading experience bearable. Elicited the emotions from me that it wanted to…"
"…except those emotions were horrified," Edward concluded for me.
I huffed, irritated. "I signed up for this class to read about men falling for headstrong women in a period setting," I flicked the book, "not a vivid description of a psycho murdering a child at the zoo."
Edward leaned back in his chair. "It's a known classic. As classic as Wuthering Heights or Pride and Prejudice."
"Those are fighting words, Edward."
He laughed.
Officially provoked, I began to rant, "The entire time, I was waiting for just one, single girl to beat Bateman at his game. Either Bethany to be aware of his old tricks or Jean to see through his act. But there was nothing! He just got away with everything!"
"Assuming any of it happened at all," Edward pointed out.
"Ugh. Don't get me started on the ending. All great authors love an ambiguous ending. Most of the time, it works. But I needed more for this one. There was no satisfaction. No feeling of right and retribution."
"Which is the statement Ellis wanted to make."
I groaned and picked up the book to inspect the close-up of Patrick Bateman's dead eyes. "I get it! It's a fantastic piece of literature and makes a strong, clear statement that remains relevant to this day."
Edward smirked at my sarcastic recitation of what our professor had said about the book, thoroughly entertained. Taking a deep breath, I adjusted my glasses and smoothed my hair. "Sorry. I let myself get a little too invested in books."
"Don't be sorry. I like it." He licked his lips, deciding what to say next. I would have missed his question if I didn't pointedly look away from his mouth. Otherwise, I would have been a goner. "How would you have wanted to story to end?"
"Honestly, I wanted Louis to finally get Bateman to go to his apartment and give him a taste of his own medicine." I thought it would have been a great ending to have Bateman murdered by the gay man whose advances he kept ignoring. Of course, I might have been biased. The daughter of a gay man would want to gay character to kill the homophobic straight man.
Edward leaned forward on his elbows, intrigued. "You would have wanted to punish violence with violence?"
"Yeah," I said, brutally honest. "It's what Bateman deserved."
"So, you would forgive a murder if you felt that the person was deserving?"
I got the feeling that Edward was getting more out of this conversation than I was. "We're talking about fiction here, Edward."
He sat back in his chair, like reality hit him once more. "Right, right." He tapped his fingers on the desk speculatively for a moment, then returned his elbows to the table. "Well, we're reading Wizard of Earthsea next. I think you'll enjoy that more."
"Does this wizard fall in love with a headstrong woman?"
"I'm afraid not."
I sighed.
"Do you typically enjoy supernatural stories? When they're falling in love, of course."
I smiled ruefully at his amendment. I had a joke to throw back at him, but I made the mistake of looking into his eyes and my joke was long forgotten. His golden eyes were deep, swirling with emotion I could not quite place. This was no casual conversation for Edward. He was seeking more. More of what, I did not know. The truth tumbled from my lips, unbidden. "No. I prefer reading about normal people falling in love. It gives me hope that there's a chance for the rest of us."
"What do you mean by that?" Edward asked after my exclusionary statement.
I thought Edward would be aware that he was not like everyone else. It was obvious to me. Looking at him felt like looking at a starry night. Around him, my adrenaline spiked like I had just jumped out of a plane. There was nothing normal about him.
"I think you're extraordinary, Edward."
The second I realized what I had said, I bit my lip. Across from me, Edward was speechless. I peeked up at him, hoping for a good kind of speechlessness. What I got was his lips pressed into a line instead of a slack jaw and cool, hard eyes instead of luminescent gold.
I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.
I had no idea what I was thinking, confessing something like that.
I threw myself back into my assignments. This time, Edward did not interrupt me. The only sign that I hadn't mucked everything up was that Edward remained in his seat across from me and didn't pack up to leave. But that could only be because I intruded on his usual study space, and he didn't want to leave.
We worked in silence for over an hour. Edward must have been part machine. He worked steadily, never taking a break or letting his mind wander. I, on the other hand, took frequent breaks. I doodled, stole glances at his bronze head hunched over the table, and looked out the window next to the table. The mezzanine of the library overlooked a small, commuter parking lot. A class block let out and I watched the hustle and bustle of one class leaving, while commuters awaited their parking spots like vultures. A sleek, yellow Porche caught my attention. It was shiner than anything in the parking lot, and probably cost more than a semester's tuition.
When a person stepped out of the passenger seat, I laughed, drawing Edward out of his work. "What?"
I pointed to the tall figure below walking around the front of the Porche. "I'm picturing that guy squeezed into that itty bitty car."
Edward followed my gaze and chuckled lightly as well. "He looks like the kind of person who would risk his back health for his partner. He would probably drape his jacket across a puddle of mud. And I'm sure the owner of the car would require someone to drape a jacket across a puddle of mud."
I looked back down and watched as the guy below opened the door for the driver. Three black bags piled into his awaiting arms before he helped a petite girl dressed in all black step out of the vehicle.
"Wait for it," Edward murmured. As the couple came across a puddle the guy pulled his partner up by the waist and carried both her and her bags over the puddle. He set her down on the other side and the two continued on their merry way, like it was a regular habit.
"You were right! How did you guess?"
"You can tell everything you need to know about a person just by the kind of car they drive."
"Can you, now?" I challenged him with a single, raised eyebrow. He matched the expression with one of his own eyebrows and added a grin.
"See that small, blue van? Pulling into the lot?"
"Mhmm."
"Belongs to a plucky member of the marching band."
A boy climbed out of the car after it parked. He seemed too young to be in college, and was quite lanky, just as Edward guessed. The boy opened the sliding door using his key fob and pulled a tuba case out from the back.
"That's his mother's car and he's borrowing it," Edward added. Just as he finished speaking, a basket toppled out from the backseat of the car and several bright, plastic toys for a toddler rolled onto the parking lot. The boy frantically collected the toys before they could get too far.
I saw through his act. "You know him."
He chuckled, "I swear, I do not."
"Then, do another," I challenged. I pointed to the white sedan pulling into a spot. "Do that one."
"Hmm…" he tapped on his chin. "Health nut. Obsessed with fitness. No doubt majoring in nutrition."
My jaw fell open as a slender girl in activewear gracefully hopped out of her car. She rummaged around in her backseat for a moment, then strode towards campus with a gallon-sized water bottle in one hand and a bunch of bananas in the other.
"If the car was silver, it would have been a business major."
"That's amazing!"
His smile was rightfully smug. "Told you."
"Now do the opposite. You know me. What kind of car do I drive?" I asked confidently, knowing it was a trick question.
"VW Bug?"
I snorted.
"Mini Coop?"
I decided he needed a hint, "It's in the lot."
He took his time looking through the parking lot deciding what car would belong to me. My smile grew each time I watched his gaze pass over the correct answer. He gave up after three more incorrect guesses.
"The '57 Chevy."
He nodded, tapping his chin. "Okay, I see. You're actually an old man with a gun collection and a smoking addiction."
I laughed. He was kind of right. When I bought the truck back in the summer from an older gentleman, there was hunting gear left in the back and the seats smelled like mint and tobacco. I told Edward as much, and he laughed, too.
He stopped abruptly and one second later, someone called my name through the stacks. I recognized the voice. "Jessica?"
Jessica popped her head around the stacks of children's books. "I didn't even know this was back here." Her eyes drifted over the room, where they landed on Edward. "Hi, Edward."
I looked over at Edward, who was suddenly very invested in his assignment. So invested, he made no attempt to even acknowledge Jessica.
"Edward?"
He looked up obediently at the sound of my voice. I pointed at Jessica with my eyes, silently instructing him to say something. At my instruction, he turned his head in Jessica's but did not look at her. "Hello."
"Edward, do you remember me?"
He nodded. I might have imagined the slight flinch away from her.
"If you change your mind about a lab partner, just say the words and I'll leave mine for you. It's not fair that you have to work alone."
Edward didn't have a partner in his class? I figured girls would line up around the block for an excuse to work alongside him.
"Thank you, but that's okay. Like I said, I'm best on my own."
My brow furrowed. I had never seen him act this way. Closed off and cold. It was nothing like the Edward sitting across from me moments ago.
I took the heat off Edward and asked Jessica, "What are you doing here?"
"I got lost on my way to the dark room. Apparently, there's another one somewhere in here when the one in the art building gets full."
"It's on the other side of the mezzanine," Edward instructed, so low he could have been talking to himself.
"Thank you!" Jessica beamed. "I am so happy to have run into you." she angled her body to make it clear that Edward was the reason she had been glad, but he paid her no mind. She probably could have stripped naked and Edward wouldn't have noticed her advances.
Jessica looked down at him like she wished she could strip naked for him.
Edward swallowed loudly, then stood, abruptly. "I have to print something. Bella, do you need anything while I'm downstairs?"
I shook my head.
"I don't either!" Jessica added, but Edward was already weaving through the stacks more gracefully than someone his size should be able to move.
Jessica took his seat immediately. She wiggled around in it, like she was trying to soak up any essence of Edward through the chair. "Oh my god, Bella. You have to set me up with him."
There were a million reasons why I didn't have to, most of them centered around the way my heart squeezed under his golden gaze. "I thought Edward was the biggest disappointment on campus."
"Tragedy," she corrected. "Now that I see him with you, I take that all back."
"Why?"
"Because he's shy," she crooned, placing both hands over her heart. "Edward acting shy around girls makes him infinitely more attractive."
I didn't bother to point out the fact that he was perfectly comfortable around me. I already understood the connotation of her statement.
"What would you have me do?"
"Anything. I would do anything, Bella."
"I don't want to lie to him. Or trick him."
She pursed her lips, as if it were a problem I wouldn't let her trap him using deceit. "It's a shame you couldn't go downtown with us. That would have been perfect. We'll have to orchestrate another group outing!"
The thought of sharing Edward made me just as uneasy as forcing Jessica onto him. Though, I supposed a setting where he could come and go as he pleased would be the tamest way to set them up. Besides, it wasn't like I was going to move forward with Edward. If it weren't already obvious we weren't meant to be, his reaction to a single compliment from me made it perfectly clear.
Jessica read my hesitation and plead, "Please, Bella! I want him. I need him," she leaned closer. "I want to lick him all over like a kitty cat."
I sat back in my seat, horrified by the mental image.
"If I help you, will you promise to never say anything like that to me ever again?"
She giggled, a bit maliciously. "Deal!"
Jessica and I decided to meet for coffee at our usual time to scheme. She left before Edward returned, demanding that I tell her every detail of Edward's facial expression when he inevitably asked me where she went.
Alone in my no-longer-secret library nook, I comforted myself with the thought that I would never be able to have Edward, but it would be nice for a friend. He was a real catch—charming, clever, fun. Someone as pretty and equally charming as Jessica should have him.
When Edward returned, he held a small stack of printed documents. He automatically smiled and I couldn't help but smile back. He didn't ask about Jessica, and I didn't bring her up.
E-POV
Edward, I think you're extraordinary.
Bella's statement replayed in my mind during every silence, in every lull.
It shook me to the bone.
The one adjective that was able to shake me. Was it a mere coincidence? Or had Bella carefully selected the term to hint at what she suspected of me?
If I was a smart man, I would have packed up and left right then and there. I had already asked her thoughts on killing as a form of retribution and supernatural romance. I teased Alice for dressing like a vampire, but I might as well have worn plastic fangs and a black cape to the library, I was being so obvious about my true nature.
But I could not bring myself to walk away from her. Not with how my heart reacted to such a statement. My long-dead, dormant heart stirred at the reveal. Bella thought I was extraordinary. This beautiful, humorous, fascinating girl thought of me as beyond the average man. It was high praise to receive from someone as extraordinary as herself.
My head and my heart battling what to feel from such a reveal shut me down. I focused on my assignments—the one thing in the library that made sense to my scattered mind-and Bella did the same. I worried my cold reaction forced a wedge between us, but we fell back into our standard banter right away. Our impromptu study session at the library concluded with both of us in high spirits. Bella rewarded me with one of her sweet, shy smiles the next time we had class together. Any hard feelings—if there were any to begin with—were long gone. After class, Bella lingered at the front door until I joined her. Happy to accompany her, I matched my pace to hers.
We discussed class for a bit before we lapsed into a comfortable silence. Halfway across the quad, I asked, "What class do you have next?"
Her attention was elsewhere. "Hm…?"
I repeated my question, bemused.
"Oh. Um. A stupid prerequisite. What about you?"
"Arson three-oh-one," I teased, for she clearly was not listening to me. "Followed by an independent study with Billy Joel."
"Cool," she responded. A mere reflex. She was too busy scanning the area to register what I had said.
"What are you looking for?" I started to ask, but the question was answered by a girl excitedly thinking my name.
I wanted to groan.
It was the girl from my biology class; Bella's friend that found us in the library. From what I could tell, she spent every moment of every day planning ways to trap me in a corner and make me beg.
Outside of her vulgar thoughts, she seemed like a lovely girl. Her friendship with Bella confirmed that theory. Black skin, big smile, curly hair that bounced with every minor movement of her head. One day, she would make a man very happy with her strong wiles and vivid imagination.
Unfortunately for her, I was not that man.
"Oh, hi Jess! Fancy meeting you here," Bella greeted. I thought it would be a passing greeting, but Bella stopped in front of her friend. Hoping I would get my alone time with Bella back quickly, I lingered beside her.
"Bella!" Jessica peaked at me, "Hi Edward."
I tilted my chin in her direction.
As usual, I shied away from Jessica's thoughts. I understood that I was attractive. Every one of my family members was attractive. It was a result of our vampirism. Pretty faces to help lure prey. The instinct to run kicked would kick in too late, after the human wandered into our reach.
Even with our human façade, most people had the instinct to run when we were around. Human minds were incredibly resourceful and would explain away the dread that churned in their gut around their pale coworker or beautiful classmate. So, we could graduate college or work a job with no one being aware of a vampire in their midst. That being said, there were still humans who lacked the instinct to run. Our beauty no longer a mere lure, fascination with our kind could linger for years, creep into obsession. We all experienced it. Esme and Rosalie both had their fair share of stalkers. Carlisle had at least one nurse on his heels at every hospital he worked at. Even I had both women and men romanticize my seclusion and yearn for my attention. Jessica's thoughts were nothing I hadn't experienced before.
At least the rest of my family had partners to scare off any suitors. I had to fend for myself.
"Edward?"
The sounds of Bella's voice pulled me into the conversation. "Yes?"
"Jessica asked you if you enjoyed modern art."
"Oh. I do, actually." My preference was the only thing about me that could be described as modern. Though, art could be considered modern dated all the way back to 1870.
"I do, too," Bella grinned.
"You'll have to add it to the list."
"What list?" Jessica asked.
"It's an inside joke," Bella blushed attractively. She slung her bag off her back and held it in the crook of her elbow as she fished out her notebook. "Edward and I have a running list of the things we have in common." Without being asked, I held her bag for her as she jotted down our newest common interest.
"That's… cool." Jessica wasn't sure how to respond. She had become upset that Bella strayed from the script.
The thought confused me. What script? I searched Jessica's mind and saw no fantasies of her and me falling in love, but instead, the rest of the conversation she and Bella would have, all planned out in her head.
"There's an exhibit opening next Friday, and we were thinking of going," Jessica continued, shrewdly eyeing the notebook in Bella's hand. "It would be a good opportunity to dress up and eat free food."
"That sounds fun." Bella's response matched perfectly with the script in Jessica's mind, suggesting it was a planned conversation they were now performing for my benefit. Jessica cleared her throat, pointedly reminding Bella to finish her line. "Edward, would you like to go with us?"
I had no idea what was happening, but I knew I didn't want to be a part of whatever game they were playing. As alluring as a trip to an art exhibit with Bella was, I politely declined.
Jessica hadn't expected my rejection. Neither did Bella, it seemed. Both girls looked to each other for guidance, now that they were thrown off their script.
"That's…fine," Bella said, cautiously.
According to the storm brewing in Jessica's thoughts, it certainly was not fine. I avoided whatever trap I was being lured into, and Jessica was not pleased.
"I should get going," she squeaked like a mouse, then scurried away like one, too.
Bella and I ventured on in silence, neither of us knowing where the other was headed.
I had the mind to ask Bella what all of that was about until I remembered the vision Alice drew of Bella and me sitting on a bench at a museum. I wondered if the vision took place in the art exhibit instead of a museum. If that were the case, Bella and I be alone, together. Jessica was not in the picture at all. The ruse could have been a roundabout way of Bella asking me to attend the event with her.
For the first time, I wished I could read Bella's thoughts.
"I am interested in seeing the new exhibit," I said, cautiously. "I would be free to go on Saturday."
"I think the whole point is to go on Friday. They want the opportunity to dress up and eat food."
"Then maybe only you and I could go on Saturday."
Bella sucked in a breath. I held mine with her. "I can't attend on Saturday."
I could have sworn there was a tinge of reluctance in her voice, as if she wished she could have offered another response, but that could simply be wishful thinking.
I was about to take the loss, but I brought the vision back to my mind instead. I marveled at how pretty Bella looked and how close I sat beside her on that bench. So close, I would have been able to feel the warmth of her body and possibly—if I was careful enough—brush my leg against hers. Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to be at that art exhibit with Bella.
"I'll try to move some things around to attend on Friday."
Her head perked up. "Really?"
"Yes," I said, wondering how warm and soft she would feel against my cool, hard skin. "I hope to see you then."
