Chapter 34

In case you didn't know
Baby, I'm crazy 'bout you
And I would be lyin' if I said
That I could live this life without you —In Case You Didn't Know, Brett Young

Jacob

Bella sat across from me, picking at her fries. She'd acted quiet since getting into the car, making it clear that even though I apologized for earlier, I still had work to do.

I crumbled up my napkin, dropping it on my plate. "I'm full."

She lifted her head, giving me a little interest. Trying to engage her more, I thought of something ordinary to say. "I love roast beef. What's it made from? Pork, right?"

Narrowing her eyes, her lips curled upward.

"What?" I asked.

She pulled her semi-smile in and her eyes widened. "You're not serious, are you, Jake?"

I snickered. "No. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention."

"I am."

Lost in her head, she hadn't been, but maybe now she would. I glanced out the window. The sight of raindrops disappointed me because we couldn't go to the park afterward. We told Renee we might see the late movie, but I didn't feel up to it anymore. A small amount of tension lingered between us and not being able to talk wouldn't do us any favors. "It's sprinkling out there. Do you want to just go hang out at your house?"

"We can, but I don't want to share you again with Emmett and Jasper."

That sounded amazing. "We can hang out in your room."

"With the door open."

I lifted my brows.

"After you left yesterday, Mom told me to keep the door open when you're up there."

They'd never worried about that before. I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess it's different now." It still made no sense. They didn't mind when we left together, alone. What couldn't we do while we were alone that we might do in her room with the door closed? "Let's go to my house then."

"Billy won't mind?"

"No, because I'll push you through my bedroom window."

Her mouth dropped open.

"Just joking." Billy didn't care when I had girls over, used to have girls over. "He won't be home until later."

"Okay," she said.

The tension faded away on the drive as we discussed music. Like me, she had a wide range of tastes, but I surprised her when I put on some seventies and eighties hits. "The seventies is Old Ben's music. It's all he plays on our drives to boxing matches, so I'm used to it, and a lot of its great. My mom jams to eighties every Saturday. It puts her in a cleaning mood."

"Same with my mom. She loves her eighties music. I listen to Madonna and Paula Abdul, sometimes." She flipped through stations and stopped at a classical channel.

"Yikes! Anything but that!"

She made a playful roll of her eyes. "It's wonderful to listen to when you need to think."

I drove into my yard. "How can a person think when they're falling asleep?"

"Good point. I said that wrong. It's better listened to when you'd rather feel instead of think."

"Hmm. Never thought of that. I might try it next time I feel like sleeping."

She laughed.

Inside my house, we tried to watch tv together before inevitably ending up in the bedroom. It wasn't the first time she'd been in it, so watching her eyes roam the place made me worry she felt nervous in my territory now. I didn't want her feeling uncomfortable.

She turned to me with a pleased look. "This is so much cleaner than Jasper and Emmett's."

I breathed out with a smile. "It's a habit from our dorm-room rules. We've got to make our beds before we go to breakfast every morning. Keep our rooms spotless."

"That's a good habit. And it seems like you have twice as many trophies than you used to."

That might have been true, depending the last time she took real notice of them. I situated myself on the bed.

More than once, several times, actually, I'd fantasied about her in my bed, so she looked irresistible, crawling in and getting comfortable beside me. I wrapped my arms around her light frame, pulling her against my body. She weighed nothing.

"Jake, about what I was saying earlier." Seriousness gleamed in her eyes. "I was thinking..."

I cut her off mid-sentence, crushing my lips against hers, deciding to keep that up for the rest of our time together or until she got the hint that I wouldn't let us go back into that discussion. Not tonight.

Sighing, her arms tightened around me, my senses filling with a subtle perfumed fragrance from her skin, and we heated, fast.

When I got too hot, I slid my shirt off as her hands made their way around my upper body, running over my chest and nipples, tempting me to do the same to her. It was unfair that I couldn't touch her the way she was touching me. Reclaiming her mouth, I found safe places for my own hands, my fingertips stroking up and down the soft flesh beneath the white, loose fitting summer pants of the leg she had flung over me. But my pants became too constricting when it occurred to me how far up the soft skin went—all the way—and, at some point, I unfastened them to give me a little more room.

I wasn't a hundred percent sure if she knew that, but I suspected she did, as her hand drifted to my abs, and began focusing on its ridges, her fingers gliding from high to low, exploring the area slow and carefully. I was only partially aware of what I was doing because of my fixation on her venture south. I sensed her getting closer to the tip. And the tip was stretching with might to reach her hand. Goosebumps flared up on my body. She was torturing me, and it felt incredible. I sucked in my stomach, hoping for and against at the same time. If she drifted any further downward...

An untethered thought rolled from my lips. "Fuck, you feel good..." I didn't catch my hand sliding all the way up the middle of her smooth, warm thigh until I skimmed the destination I'd half consciously crept toward, and her breath hitched.

She abruptly moved her leg, closing it against the other.

We let go of the kiss. I opened my eyes, noting the hot coloring on her complexion. "Your beautiful."

Her eyes swept over my face. "So are you."

Slipping my hand out and away, I inhaled to calm my heavy breaths, racing heart, and more. If I didn't cool down, I'd attempt where I badly wanted to go. I shifted a little from her as we stared into each other's eyes. "Sorry." I kissed the tip of her nose. "I meant what I said before. Both things. I love you."

She grinned, her lashes batting. "I love you, too."

The clock captured my attention. "Dad should get home any time now." Good thing.

"Where is he?"

"He's at an AA meeting at our addiction center. Not only is he a full-blown member, but he's an alcohol sponsor for people struggling."

Her brows scrunched. "Jake, I never knew Billy had an alcohol addiction."

"Yeah. I told Emmett not to tell you guys. Sometimes, he disappeared for two or three days when I was younger. I was afraid that if your dad found out, he'd be obligated to report him, being in law enforcement and everything. I didn't want my dad to get into trouble."

"How old were you when that was happening?"

"Ten, eleven, twelve. It started after my mom left him and progressively got worse until I was fifteen. He drank himself into the hospital one of those times, and the doctor said he only had half a liver. So, if he didn't quit, he would die. I still get scared he might start up again. His life depends on him staying sober."

"Sorry, Jacob," she said, concern written all over her sweet face. "You shouldn't have had to deal with that all alone. Did Sue and Harry know?"

"They knew, but not how much and not all the times he left me alone. I stopped telling them, because Sue and he argued about it once and she threatened him, she'd get the authorities to send me to my mom if he didn't get help. Sometimes, after an argument, they wouldn't talk for weeks. So, they mostly knew that he partied on weekends, and they let me come stay with them. That's why I was there so much. It wasn't because my dad traveled a lot the way I told your family back then."

"Wow. I can't imagine my parents ever leaving us alone for days, especially that little."

"That's the same thing Emmett said after I told him for the first time. He made me promise when alone, I'd call him, and he'd have your mom pick me up for an overnight stay. I did that a lot, and nobody caught on. As I got older, I just got used to it."

"I wish I would have known. I could have been there for you."

"I don't dwell on it, because it made me grow up." I brushed her cheek, tucking a sliver of hair behind her ear. "I should have told you. You've always been the easiest person to talk to."

"That's because I love you." She slipped her hand behind my head, guiding my face to hers. Our mouths linked again and stayed together until the sound of Billy's car driving up signaled it was time to take her home.

"In Case You Didn't Know," I said, as I parked in front of her house.

"In case I didn't know what?"

"It's a country song I want you to listen to."

"Country song?" She made an incredulous smirk.

I nodded. "Billy's genre. I used to hate waking up to blaring country music in the middle of the night. But now when I wake up to it. It's at a decent hour and he's usually making us a big breakfast. It kind of grew on me. It's by a guy name Brett Young."

She repeated the name and title. "Okay. I'll look it up when I get inside." She leaned toward me for a kiss goodnight.

Gratified with our night of making up, I watched her walk inside. But driving off, uneasiness came over me as I thought of Ben's statement about staying focused. I'd never be able to concentrate on boxing if I could spend time with Bella. If there was somewhere else, I'd rather be. Something else I'd rather be doing.

Bella had the potential of becoming my biggest obstacle, and the worst part of it was—I didn't care.

Next Time: It's tournament time and Jacob and Bella find themselves in quite the dilemma.