I wake up but have yet to open my eyes. I am bid good morning by a searing headache and a full-on migraine on my neck. The pain was probably from the shock of that insane dream I just had. Killer asteroids. Right. All of my groaning and moaning wasn't going to make the pain feel any better, so I opened my eyes to prepare myself for the day ahead.

Nothing could prepare me for this.

It's probably midday given that the sun appears to be at its highest point in the sky. So, there's plenty of light for me to see all the absolute what-the-f-ery going on around me. I appeared to be in some terrain that looked like it was painted in watercolor. I turn around and nearly jump out of my skin at the sight of a familiar fortress that I just saw on TV.

I wasn't even trying to have a lucid dream of being in the Black Cauldron. I didn't have the proper tools, nor have I watched enough YouTube videos to have me go through an actual process. If this is indeed a lucid dream, then I feel incredibly unprepared. That's when I noticed the sound of sizzling bacon and looked to the right of the fortress to see a fresh-out-the-oven asteroid less than twenty feet away from me. Seems as though it crashed through the wall of the first story just a ways from the drawbridge that was to my left. Bricks surrounded the rock and smoke hissed from the heated surface of it. Was that…the same asteroid that nearly killed me last night? Did it knock me right out of the laws of quantum physics and send me here?

I barely make out some letters from the surface of the rock. I squint at them. Just as I am about to see what the letters spell out, I hear a shout.

"OI! Who're you?!"

I turn around to see armed barbaric guards glaring right at me.

One of them jabs his spear toward me and asks, "What did you do to our king's wall?!"

I side-glace at the rock, then set my eyes back on them. "Uh…"

Before I could answer, a green goblin hobbles out (no Spiderman reference intended). His familiar scratchy voice further solidifies my realization that this may not be a dream. Still leaning toward the dream theory, though. His short stature struggles through the sea of legs and emerges from the crowd.

"What's all this, then?! I was just eating my supper, and then that wretched noise made my meal fall to the ground!" The goblin notices me. Then looks at the rock. Then he looks at me.

Once again, I could only utter a single noise. "Uh…"

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE HORNED KING'S CASTLE?!"

Crud.

Well, I can't explain this at all. Can I? Mayhaps I can appeal to these guys' manly nature in trying to help a scared woman. I point to the rock behind me and said in the most accusatory voice I could think of that would appease the harshest judge from the Salem Witch Trials:

"That sentient rock tried to kill me!" I give my most appalled look as convincingly as possible. The guards mutter and look at each other. The goblin staggers to the rock and places his fingertips on it. He pulls his hand back and yelps out before grabbing it. The goblin looks at me again. "You're saying this rock tried to kill you?"

"Yea?"

"What business does a rock have with you?"

"I…snubbed it at a birthday party."

The goblin frowns at me. "Well, in any case, you brought this thing to our home. And I am not getting blamed for this. You are coming with me!" He tugs at my night shirt, and I stumble forward from the tug. I figured it would be best to do as he says and follow him. What am I gonna do? Run from like ten guards and a tiny green guy just hoping I'd find a place to hide? Don't think so.

Besides, this is where he lives. Might as well stick around.

I follow the goblin inside, shrinking at the stares the guards give me.


Judging from the armed guards that were patrolling the inside of this place and the many passageways that could lead to any which way but out, I figured this castle to be my new digs for a while. I look around the castle and its dark palette of its various browns. A few tapestries from Amazon would do nicely here. If the residential rats didn't decide to chew on them, that is.

"I should warn you," the goblin says as he keeps tugging me along. "The Horned King isn't merciful to anyone. So, you better think of your best apology like your life depends on it!"

I flinch as I hear a thud and look to see a burly guy in an apron wield a butcher's knife on a raw piece of meat. "I'll keep that in mind," I say.

"And don't forget to grovel on your knees."

"Mm-hm."

"And add some tears to it. Maybe he'll like seeing you in a pathetic heap."

"M'kay."

"Eh, wise girl, are you? Keep up that attitude, and you will be hanging by your very fingernails!"

"How much longer will this walk take?"

The goblin sighs. "Should be just ahead."

Eventually, we are in a familiar room. This appears to be the throne room from that one scene in the Black Cauldron. It was filled with celebrating guards, a gypsy dancer, and that smoke when the Horned King made his grand entrance. Now, it's just empty. It's pretty weird to see a new side to just one room.

I yelp as I get shoved to the ground and catch myself with the palms of my hands. I frown at the goblin. He smirks and crosses his arms. "When the Horned King sees you, he won't be blaming me for this mess. You will be the one he chokes!" The goblin laughs, but I start to notice a tall silhouette of a figure slowly creeping toward him. My stomach drops as I saw that the figure bared two horns. His eyes glowed red at the goblin.

The figure's voice boomed: "I had no idea the destruction of my castle wall would be amusing, Creeper."

The goblin yipes. "S-SIRE!" He scampers behind me. Despite me being his only shield, Creeper points to me. "Sire! Th-this is the girl that made the magic rock angry and destroyed your beloved home!"

The Horned King looks at me. I curse myself for wearing the chibi dinosaur socks. Probably not the most appealing thing for a woman to wear.

He took a few steps closer to me. Seeing the Horned King up close and personal is about as terrifying as you can expect. I'm fully aware that this guy is already in a foul mood from finding out that part of his home is caved in by a Kentucky-fried space rock which is probably still sizzling at a toasty one thousand degrees. I am also fully aware that this guy's hands are about the size of my head and that he could crush my skull with them if he wants to.

The Horned King speaks again with a deadly glare filling his eyes. "Care to explain yourself?"

Knowing all this, my inner idiot decided to not be a pathetic pile of apologies as Creeper graciously instructed. I stand there for a moment.

I start. "See…that sentient rock—"

The door to my cell slams shut after a brief escort to the dungeon.

Author's Note: Reviews are very much appreciated.