Kaldorei-Sowa 2: What can I say? He gets straight to the point. And that point is putting me in the dungeon over something I kinda sorta didn't do! And thanks!
"Can you believe that lunatic, sire? She could have caved the whole castle in! Why, I am just as appalled as you are, your highness!"
The Horned King half listens to Creeper's faux outrage as he slumps his exhausted self on the throne. It's almost midnight, but he can't sleep without knowing for certain that the large hole in the wall is properly fixed by every available guard he currently has on the clock. He gave the order: no one sleeps until it's patched up. The rock was moved out of the way, thankfully.
His thoughts turn to the woman. What's a proper death for such a crazed moron? Hanging? No, too cliché. Live burning? No. Her screams will only add to his pounding headache.
Creeper continues his one-man back-and-forth between confidence and sheepishness. "And to think that her giant rock fiasco is taking up all of my basic sorcery practice! I was just getting good at it, too! Oh, I mean not as good as you, sire! You're still the best at everything you do!"
The red in the Horned King's eyes lit up as a thought thrilled him. There is one death he's been wanting to try.
"And I'm not saying that managing the repairs isn't an honor, my lord, it's just that I was hoping to get some practice done and—" Creeper shrinks back as the Horned King raises a hand for him to be silent.
"Is the young gwythaint still awake?" The Horned King asks.
Creeper tilts his head. "Why…yes, sire. The dastardly thing has been misbehaving and won't go to sleep. Our stableman is currently having trouble with him."
"Has he eaten yet?"
"No, sire. It refuses to eat anything we give it, tonight! The beast is nothing but a spoiled brat!"
The Horned King chuckles. "You never knew how to properly care for my beasts." Embarrassment riddles Creeper's body. Another thing he just can't seem to do right in the king's eyes…or lack thereof. The Horned King rises from his throne and makes his way to the stables. Curious, Creeper follows.
"Let's send the baby to the woman's cell," the Horned King says. "Perhaps live prey will stimulate his appetite."
I've been afraid to go to the bathroom for the three hours I have spent in this cell. There is no toilet in here save for a suspicious looking pan on the other side of the room. From the smell of this place, I'm guessing that's my toilet. My constant refusal gets taunted by that insidious pan with its sinister optionality.
I will not go to the bathroom in a pan, I will not go to the bathroom in a pan, I will not…
My insides churn as I long for a decent place to…go. I get up and take cautious steps toward the pan, leaning my body away from it as I do. I think of how much longer it'll be before anyone actually shows up to come fetch me to have me face whatever fate a rock-flinging woman typically has. I huff as I look around. No toilet paper in sight. Though I could always use the rags that dead guy's skeleton is wearing in that corner. Wouldn't exactly be an insult to his corpse since he's long passed on. And it's not like his clothes were from Louis Vuitton, either. I go to the skeleton, tear a few decently-sized pieces from his tunic, and head back for the toilet pan. I stare at it for a few seconds. I mumble, "Just do it quickly. Like ripping off a band-aid." I grab the hem of my banana shorts.
The opening of the cell door freezes me in place. I break out in a cold sweat as I hear slow steps moving toward me. I dare not look the man in the eyes wondering if he notices my close attempt at following nature's call. Instead, I just keep staring at the wall before me, my hands still placed on my shorts. Thankfully, I have not pulled them down.
"Was I interrupting something?" His condescending tone only makes me completely red in the face.
"Um. No?"
The Horned King chuckled at my situation, as I'm sure any villain would. I turn around to face him. He was leaning on the doorway with his arms crossed as a man of total control would do. If I wasn't already so red in embarrassment, I'd be blushing a little at his relaxed state.
"Off topic," I start. "Is there a bathroom around here I can use?"
The Horned King goes back to his serious tone. "You won't need one in the next few moments."
"I kinda do, though…" Before I could further protest, the Horned King holds his hand out. Creeper bounces in excitedly to hand him a long chain. Creeper giggles in delight as he claps his hands.
"Make her pay, sire! Make her pay with her life! Hahaha!" Creeper hops out as quickly as he hopped in. I hear the chain rattle outside the door. Then I saw what was on the other side of the chain.
Turns out that chain is a leash. To a dragon. Well, the technical term is gwythaint. But essentially, it's a dragon. And oddly, a small one. Perhaps they're smaller than the look on TV. Though from the bouncing and prancing around it was doing, I could only guess that it's a baby.
The Horned King turns to the gwythaint. "Sit," he orders. The little guy plops his rump down on the stone floor. His tongue lopped to one side of his adorably goofy face. And in that moment, I know I'll love the little guy. The king turns to me. "Since you decided to destroy my castle, I think it's only fitting to have you die in it."
"Hey now," I say, quick on the defense. "I didn't mean to destroy your place! I told you before, that thing tried to kill me and somehow I ended up here!"
He stares at me with an unreadable expression. But I know that my words don't reach him. I get it. He's mad. He needs someone to blame. And he must have grown bored of the stress ball that is Creeper's neck and decided to take it all out on me, instead.
The Horned King reaches down and unclasps the metal collar around the baby gwythaint's neck. The baby jumps and dashes around the room before stopping at my feet.
"Hehe, so cute. Hey, can I pet this guy?"
But the cell door slams shut again. The Horned King was gone.
I look down at the baby's dumb and cute little face. His stomach growled, and that's when realization punched me in the gut.
The Horned King left a starving baby monster in here to eat me for din-din.
Author's Note: Care to review? I do not own Black Cauldron as it is a Disney property.
