August 23, 1999

In the last month my life has changed so much. The way I look at so many things is different. I never thought I would find someone who would make me feel comfortable enough to have sex with but I have.

Jake.

We haven't had sex yet but I decided that I'm ready. We agreed that our relationship should be 'simple, light hearted and fun.' I do want things that way but I have to know that he isn't having sex with anyone else.

I desperately want to do it but I never know when I'm going to see him again. It makes me crazy because I can't shut my feelings off. I think about him contanstly. But how can I stop?