Disclaimer: I do not own Ratchet & Clank, or any of its associated characters and lore. That right belongs to Insomniac Games.

[PDP]

The Pirates of the Dark Planet

[PDP]

Pirate Base, Planet Umbris, Solana Galaxy

Upon landing on Umbris, Rivet, a white-furred Lombax with blue markings, could not imagine why the Quantizers, the largest crew of space pirates in the Solana Galaxy, would ever want to establish their main base there. The planet was barren, its atmosphere was hot, and the water was so muddy that she doubted even sharkigators could thrive in it, much less a stereotypical kraken.

The yellow robot Rivet carried on her back, however, offered an answer as she walked through the base's bazaar appropriately named Plunder's Market.

"Well, Umbris is pretty isolated from the galaxy at large, which I suppose is the point if you are an outlaw. In addition, my databanks inform me that this planet has an unstable core composed of a volatile element. If the Blarg for one example attempted to destroy Umbris to immediately deal with the pirates, the resulting explosion would cover the entire solar system."

Rivet allowed that much with a nod. "Yeah, I guess those are fair points, Kit." Taking a quick glance at a robot pirate eying her with menace, she then added, "Still, I'd take Pokitaru any day."

Rivet's last sentence, however, drew amused laughter from many onlookers as one robot pirate in particular approached her and Kit. He was thinner than most of the pirates with a sky blue color, and wore a black captain's hat that went together with the eyepatch over his right eye.

"A fair young lady with an appreciation for far more scenic worlds," the pirate appraised Rivet with a French accent and then added with a tip of his hat, "I like that in a woman."

Unswayed by the robot's flirtatious stance, Rivet asked, "You're Pierre, right? The first mate of the Quantizer Pirates?"

"Oui, mademoiselle," Pierre then gestured to himself dramatically while many of his crewmates looked unimpressed. "I am Pierre Le Fer, pirate extraordinaire," taking a relaxed yet questionable stance, he then asked, "Now what brings you to the sanctuary of the Quantizers?"

It was then that Kit unlatched herself from Rivet's back to make her presence known. Turning to Pierre, she said, "We are here to speak with Captain Quantum and warn him of a dire threat. Please take us to him."

At Kit's request, many of the pirates except Pierre laughed at the notion, which both confused and annoyed Rivet and Kit.

"Ahem," Pierre loudly announced with authority, which silenced his crewmates and silently impressed the budding duo. Turning to Kit, he then replied, "Moi apologies, cher, but around here, any and all non-pirates have to complete the Pirate Trials if they wish to speak with the Captain."

Trading an unsure glance with Rivet, Kit slowly uttered, "Okay, and what exactly are these trials?"

"If this is a recruitment pitch," Rivet began to say before adding warningly, "I really hope I don't end up with my face on the galaxy's most wanted list."

[PDP]

Later

Following Pierre's directions and ignoring his obvious flirts, Rivet and Kit eventually earned the status of "honorary Quantizers" after passing the theme park-styled trials and were allowed entrance into Captain Quantum's personal port on the island where the pirate base was located at.

"A round of singing, a duel with a Blargian Snagglebeast, and a real ambush dressed up as role play," Kit listed off as she and Rivet were just close to Quantum's flagship. Exhaling, Kit then added, "I hope Quantum is as reliable and capable as everyone seems to see him as."

Rivet snorted at that. "Capable? Most likely since his pirates have been raiding the Shadow Sector bigshots for many years. Reliable, though? He is at the end of the day, a pirate, so I don't think we can trust him as far as we can throw him."

Kit nodded as she replied, "Then we should be ready in case he pulls any punches, I believe?"

Rivet nodded right back with a thumbs up. "You know it!"

Exchanging smiles, the two then hopped onboard the wooden pirate ship before them as a deep voice announced in a pirate accent, "So, Captains Rivet and Kit, what brings you here to Umbris?"

Turning their eyes to the source, they saw a tall figure in orange and geared up with pirate accessories approach them with strength in his posture. What really drew Rivet's attention to Quantum's appearance, however, was that his "head" was a painted bucket that did not completely cover his organic face as the noticeable cleft chin indicated.

"Captain Quantum, sir," Kit went first, "It has come to our attention that we all share a common enemy in the Blarg that are currently terrorizing the galaxy, and Rivet and I were hoping that you could provide well-needed assistance of some sort or another."

Thinking it over briefly, Quantum replied, "Aye, it's true that the Blarg are causing trouble throughout Solana. I find thee cause just and your singing respectable, but while I'm not against aiding you, what do me and me crew get out of it?"

Floored by the question, Kit could only say, "Well, what would you want? Bolts, new parts, anything?"

Shrugging, Quantum said, "Well, I could use something of an upgrade for me self."

Rivet then interjected, "You mean something to cover that chin of yours while wearing your getup?"

"Getup," Quantum stammered as his accent shifted.

Ignoring how Quantum was outright panicking, Kit turned to Rivet asking, "What do you mean by his chin, Rivet?"

Stumped by her friend's response, Rivet turned to Kit, saying, "Wait, you think Quantum here is a real robot with a bucket for a head?"

Hearing a defeated groan, the two starting heroes then turned to Quantum taking off his tricorn hat followed by the bucket to reveal his dark skinned face which was covered by an orange mask.

Kit gaped at the sight before finally uttering, "Goodness, I was completely fooled."

"How is that possible," Rivet commented in confusion.

Allowing a laugh, Quantum turned to the unlikely duo as he said, "Don't feel too ashamed, girls, it happens to all the robots I meet with all the time." Showing the bucket's interior to Rivet, he explained, "Back in my exploring youth, I used some technical adjustments that caused every mechanical being I meet to register me as one of them so long as I wore this bucket helmet."

"And no one actually noticed your chin," Rivet asked still surprised.

"Not a one," he then pressed a button on the helmet to reveal a holo-projector as he added, "And this baby does more than that, too."

Seeing who was being projected on the other side, both Rivet and Kit hoped that they could persuade Quantum to help them save Solana.

[PDP]

I am more familiar with Pirates of the Caribbean than The Pirates of Dark Water, but I suppose those two put together with the reference to a "dark planet being home to a faction of space pirates" in Exosquad make for a good inspiration to this one-shot's name.

Aside from Captain Quantum being a pirate in the Solana Galaxy if his dimension was modeled closer to the main Ratchet & Clank one, I did recently consider that he could also be running his own distinct "Q-Force/Galactic Rangers" from what Captain Qwark leads with Resistance members, Moy Doy, Clatchky, and the Phantom, as his team's two field agents and one tech supporter in that order. Granted, I am not sure Moy Doy and Clatchky will formally appear in the future, or if we will get a real name for the Phantom that is not "Skidd McMarx", but it's the thought that counts.

I know the ending is a bit abrupt, but it was the most I could think of. I do have other things to work on, after all.