"What happened" Alie asked concerned from the kitchen as she saw her daughter being supported quite heavily as she walked into the barely awake

"I'm fine Alie" Jess mumbled brushing of the concern

"She's cold and tired" Luca said answering the question instead

"Jay, help her upstairs" Alie told her husband who had been helping get tea ready

"Warm shower and jammies for my baby girl it is" Jay said walking over and scooping Jess up into his arms without breaking his stride as he carried her up the 2 flights of stairs to her bedroom

"You want to start her treatment early tonight before we have tea" Alie asked Luca

"I think it will be easier, that way I just need to change her IV's, flush and cath her, and she can do it down here, you aren't going to object if she crashes out" Luca asked the rest of the group standing there, if Jess was downstairs and among the rest of the group it would be easier on him to enjoy himself and catch up then running up and down the stairs all night

"Hell no, if she needs to sleep then she gets some sleep, no other way around it" Ray said assuring Luca that it wouldn't bother them

"Next question is where are we going to set up for the evening" Clay asked looking around, Jess's house was huge for entertaining so they had multiple choices to choose from

"You go and get her medication and that ready, we'll work out where we're setting ourselves up for the evening" Jason said to Luca as he grabbed some off the boxes containing the new supplies and headed to the storage room, Zah followed behind to help her dad

"What's on the menu anyway Alie" Sonny asked walking over to the kitchen

"Pizza, chicken pasta, lasagne, soup and garlic bread, I know the kids prefer pizza, and Chelsea said to try and tempt Jess with a bit off variety and let her pick as she feels up to it to rebuild her appetite, so lots off fresh natural ingredients, ain't that right Cerbs, you love pizza night" Alie said as Cerbs walked into the kitchen and sat nicely waving his paw in the air at Alie, Pepper deciding she didn't want to miss out followed suit and copied him causing Alie to laugh, she quickly pulled a container of steak strips she had cut up ready to go on the pizza's tonight and handed a piece to both dogs who promptly left the kitchen to eat their snack on Cerbs big bed in the dining room

"Laura coming home tonight" Brock asked looking at the pair of dogs eating their snacks

"She's staying out at Tahlia's, apparently there's some skittish horses out there, and 2 are very pregnant, so she's remaining put in case her services are needed as she wouldn't be able to drive out in the storm" Alie told him, somehow that selfless behaviour didn't surprise Brock one bit

"So you get to sleep in a warm bed hey buddy" Brock asked Cerbs who greeted him with a happy bark

"Well why don't we set up on the verandah, it's all closed in, we can get the BBQ and pizza oven going for the food, there's the patio heaters, and Jess can crash in the day bed with lots of blankets and pillows, and 2 hair missiles for extra warmth she should be nice and comfortable" Eric said poking his head out the door to the verandah and then looking back to the two dogs, the BBQ could easily keep the food warm for the evening and the pizza's would be cooked outside anyway, not to mention the kids could entertain themselves with the pool, play equipment and games room

"Sonny, do you want to go and tell Jay that we're setting up a spot on the verandah" Jason told the Texan

"On it" Sonny said heading up the stairs

"I'll go and help Luca get what he needs" Trent said as he headed of towards the storage area

"We'll get an area set up" Ray said as they set about setting up for the night

"Hey Jay we're" Sonny said walking straight into the ensuite in Jess and Luca's bedroom, the door was open so Sonny walked straight in, not prepared for the sight of Jess standing at the basin without a top on as she was tending to her business, not that Sonny could see much, he'd gotten use to the sight of Jess's button for her feeding tube, however the sight of the catheter draining urine coming out of her abdominal wall and a clear bag that contained a small amount of brown liquid attached to another area threw him, though maybe not as much as the clear view he had of every bone protruding that was her spinal column and rib cage

"Sonny, is there a problem" Jay asked looking at him as he stepped into view and took the catheter Jess had now removed from her abdomen that had obviously been draining her urine and put in the bin

"Ah just wanted to tell you that we decided to set up camp on the verandah, Bookworm, is that, that's gross" Sonny said unable to take his eyes of Jess as he noticed a heap of thick brown stuff suddenly drain into the other bag, that brown stuff was Jess's poo, this was how things were for Jess now and it made Sonny feel sick, especially when he realised exactly what he'd just said about it being gross

"Sonny" Jess said softly, she could tell he was upset at what he'd seen and she wanted to let him know it was okay, she'd been grossed out herself when she first saw all the changes that had happened after the surgery, she'd just gotten used to it, Sonny however just walked out the door unwilling to talk

"Sonny, hey, what's wrong" Brock said as he was nearly taken out by Sonny coming down the stairs

"Me and my big unfiltered mouth, that's whats wrong, she don't even look like Bookworm anymore, she's nothing but a white bag of bones with a couple of holes in her so she can do her business" Sonny blurted out as Eric, Ray, Jason, Clay and Alie gathered around them

"Sonny, what did you say" Jason asked sternly

"I didn't mean to say anything" Sonny said

"Sonny what did you say" Alie asked taking a softer tone with him

"She was standing there at the sink with her top off, a heap of brown stuff slid out of this hole into a bag that was attached to her, I wasn't thinking, just said it was disgusting, I didn't mean to, just the sight, you can see all the bones in her body" Sonny blurted out

"Sonny, you okay" Jay asked walking down the stairs

"Shouldn't you be with Bookworm" Sonny said looking at him trying to work out how much trouble he was in with Jay

"She's in the shower and she's worried about you" Jay said reaching out to touch the Texans arm

"She's worried about me, after I said she's disgusting" Sonny said surprised

"The sight caught you of guard, she knows deep down you didn't mean it" Jay said with a smile

"How much weight has she lost" Eric asked Alie, sure she'd looked like she'd lost weight earlier, but Jess had always layered up and wore baggy clothes so it was impossible to tell

"About 60 pounds between the surgery, radiation and chemotherapy, we're working with Chelsea really closely to get it back up now she's out of hospital, and Erin has given us a workout plan for her to try and help get the muscle back, she's getting IV fluids and antiemetic injections daily and we've upped her formula and TPN to nearly double what she was having before, she's having about 6000 calories not including oral intake each day" Alie said to the group, Luca was not joking when he said earlier about Jess having no meat on her to keep her warm anymore, she was just under 6 feet tall and now weighed about 100 pounds, it was not a good sign

"So really at the moment oral intake is just bonus calories" Eric asked Alie glad she was there, Jess barely cooked when Alie was there, he sensed that it was more to do with Italian tradition however, Alie saw cooking meals as her way of looking after the family, and it took one less stress of Luca if Alie had the cooking side of things sorted at the moment

"Yeah, it's just going to take time to get her weight back up to where it should be" Alie said with a smile as she went back to the kitchen

"What's that" Trent asked as he saw Jess put a cream on her chest over her port, she was sitting outside fresh from the shower and in her pyjamas, with a dressing gown and blanket wrapped around dressing her, Luca had put everything Jess would need for the night in a bag, brought it outside and sat it next to the daybed and was hanging up 3 IV bags and a bag of formula ready on hooks just under the cover, Trent quickly guessed that Jess probably used the daybed more than once while she was hooked up to rest on while getting some fresh air with the hooks already being there

"Anasthetic cream to numb the area over the port so I can't feel Luca putting the needle in" Jess said handing Trent the tube

"I'm putting in a request for some for Brock and Clay" Trent said with a smile, those two were the worst for giving needles to, if they couldn't feel it, his job would be a lot easier

"Helps when you haven't got any padding, Sonny okay" Jess said with a small laugh before looking inside where everyone else was standing and talking

"Question is are you okay" Trent said looking at her

"I know my body looks pretty gross and disgusting at the moment, but part of its temporary, the rest, I'm the one whose got to deal with doing it to myself, not you, you still get to do things like you always have done, if I can deal, then so can the rest of you" Jess said looking at him, Trent knew what it was like dealing with scars that wouldn't go away, and the looks of pity he got at first, Jess's response was what he expected, they weren't allowed to feel any pity for her because she wasn't feeling any pity for herself, she was dealing with what was happening and was fine

"Fair enough" Trent said with a smile, as he saw Luca get a dressing pack out of the bag and come over to where they were sitting, he quickly recognised the pack as being the one to access Jess's port to set the cannula up so she could begin her chemotherapy for the night, it was something he'd done before and knew Luca didn't need help with it so he headed inside

"She okay" Clay asked indicating towards Jess and Luca on the balcony, Luca was helping her sit back down on the daybed

"Jess is fine, she said she knows things are hard at the moment for us watching her go through this, but she also said that we're only watching her go through it, where as she's living with it and will always live with it, and that if she can deal with what's going on, then we can to" Trent said filling everyone in on the conversation

"Luca seems okay with handling it, same with Jay and Alie, Zah seems fine as well, we take our lead from them" Jason said to the group

"What are we taking our lead from them for" Stella asked hearing the last bit of the conversation as she walked in with Naima, RJ and Meelah

"Yeah, we missed something" Naima said as she let the kids go and find Zah

"Sonny accidentally told Jess she was disgusting because she has lost so much weight from being sick and has to poo in a bag" Ray told his wife

"Was wondering who was going to say something first" Naima laughed

"You knew how bad she was" Ray asked her

"Zah stayed with us occasionally so she wasn't stuck at the hospital, particularly to start with when Jess was still in the ICU after the surgery" Naima said

"We took turns going up for visits, took her to go clothes shopping, she's started to sprout up a bit in case you haven't noticed" Stella added

"Oh trust me, we've noticed" Clay said

"Can't believe how good she looks" Trent added, Zalie was definitely no longer the sickly scared little girl she was when she first arrived

"Yeah and she's still holding out for the ice hockey game Jason" Stella said reminding Jason he'd agreed to take her to a game

"I'll take her, don't worry" Jason said assuring them that he hadn't forgotten

"She's already picked out the game, she spoke to Emma to find out about teams, and it turns out Jess has some tests to have done at Bethesda so it all works out, Capitals versus the Islanders in 7 weeks time" Stella said handing Jason the information, the New York Islanders were his favourite team

"Nice, so I take her to the game while Jess and Luca" Jason asked excitedly

"Are at the hospital, you'll just need to drop her off at the hotel when you're finished" Naima said answering the question

"So it seriously doesn't bother you" Sonny asked pointing outside where they could see Jess already curled up with Luca on the daybed

"Hell no, trust me there ain't much I haven't seen in the emergency department over the years, they've shed there tears and are dealing with their loss" Naima said, she understood Jess's wish to keep the full extent of her diagnosis hidden from her husband to start with, so had Stella, so they'd done everything within their power to be there to help Jess and Luca from the start

"Their loss" Brock asked curiously

"Her and Luca, he's been the one convincing her everything will be okay, even with the surgery originally" Stella said

"Wait, Luca convinced her to have the surgery" Jason asked surprised

"You are aware of everything she's lost down there, they can't be intimate with each other in the traditional way again, you think it's just affected Jess" Naima said looking at all of them, she was well aware that they had originally had some issues with Luca and his history as a clearance diver, and the fact Jess hadn't mentioned him for nearly 12 months hadn't helped the situation either, but anyone who looked at them now wouldnt have been able to tell what they'd been through in the past, Naima often thought now when he saw the pair interact how much Luca could teach other men who were dealing with loved ones who had been raped, about being supportive and not pushing them into positions they were uncomfortable with, about seeking help to deal with your own emotions

"Thought she made the decision on her own" Eric said

"No, and when she goes back for further surgery" Stella said

"Wait, I thought she was done with surgery" Trent said, Luca certainly hadn't mentioned Jess having further surgery

"No, though its not going to be for another 8 months or so, Jess has a genetic mutation, actually she has quite a few, but it means her body has practically zero capability of fighting cancer on its own, turns out having the surgery when she did saved her life, if they'd waited to try chemotherapy and radiation, then do the surgery, her body wouldn't have been able to handle it" Stella said

"So what is she having done" Trent asked as the group headed towards the door

"Double mastectomy as a preventative measure, but they're waiting till she's healthy and fully recovered from this, hey Jess, sorry didn't realise she was already asleep" Naima said as they headed out onto the verandah, Jess was already fast asleep wrapped up in Blankets and using Luca's lap for a pillow, Luca was stroking her hair

"She's pretty tired from this afternoons trip out, you lot worked out whether you can deal with this yet, cause if you can't, I won't stand by why you lot screw with her already fragile body image and then continue to think its okay to be a welcome guest in our house" Luca said, the rest of Bravo realising where they stood with this

"We won't do any such thing, no matter what's happened now, or in the future, you can count on us to be there and share the duties, whatever you need okay" Eric said taking a seat, he had to admit Jess looked completely relaxed and content laying there, just like when he first saw them in Denpasar, perhaps they could beat the odds with a successful marriage

"Exactly, Naima and Stella were filling us in on what's been going on, the genetic mutations and all that" Jason said following their CO's lead by taking another seat

"LFS, Li Fraumeni syndrome, we didn't know until Jay told me after she had the surgery, he didn't want her life defined by a diagnosis" Luca said looking mainly at Trent

"That's why he wouldn't answer your calls" Trent said now fully understanding that piece of the puzzle, he'd press Luca for more information later, but if Jay knew Jess had a mutation all but guaranteeing her to develop cancer when she grew older, then it was only natural he'd be upset with himself when that diagnosis occurred

"Yeah, but we got it sorted now" Luca said with a smile assuring them that there was no bad blood between them, monitoring only happens every 12 months for the condition anyway, and Doctor Leighton had confirmed the results herself, the tumours were very aggressive soft tissue sarcoma that had only been in Jess's body less than 3 months before she was diagnosed, and the leukaemia could develop within a matter of weeks

"I take it they've got a plan to monitor it"

"Yeah, trying to go for MRI if she needs a scan, avoid excess exposure to radiation, regular blood tests, things like that" Luca said continuing to stroke her hair

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Surprised you're not doing, what is it TPN" Brock asked, he'd seen Jess have TPN during flights and that, the substance was white like milk, the IV's Jess was currently hooked up to were clear

"Once theirs a free port I'll give it to her, fluids are a little more important while she's having the chemotherapy, makes it easier on her kidneys" Luca said explaining the situation, Jess had already had one bout of acute renal failure in the past, any future cases would put her at increased risk of her kidneys shutting down completely and end up needing a transplant

"Drugs are less concentrated when administered with fluids so it's not as toxic, she's got what 5 different ones she has plus the injection, I'm guessing that's going too remain as a permanent addition to her medication, seeing as it's supposed to help boost her body's ability to repair damaged DNA" Trent said

"Doctor Leighton is considering it, will depend on how well she manages the side effects" Luca said

"So does she have to have all the drugs every night" Ray asked

"No, only once every 6 weeks or their abouts, she's got one daily, 2 every 2 weeks and 2 every 3 weeks" Luca said answering Ray's question

"But that daily one will change soon, 5 days on and 2 day break after she's had a certain amount of doses" Trent said letting Ray know it would get easier

"Once her blood tests show no signs on leukaemic cells, she'll be on that dose for 5 weeks, after that hopefully she'll be in remission" Luca said

"So what are you doing with Italy, you taking everything with you" Jason asked noticing the bag Luca had packed sitting near the day bed, they'd be in Italy for just over 2 weeks, Jess would need a lot more medical supplies than what was in that bag

"Doctor Leighton is sending the prescription to Naples, we'll have to go and pick it up from there plus we'll be freighting some stuff ahead, and we've rearranged the flights, so she won't have to travel on days she's having treatment, we'll have to make a overnight trip to Naples so we can get some scans and tests done before we come back, Doctor Leighton is booking them for us, we'll get the results when we get back whether she's officially in remission or not" Luca said

"If she's not" Sonny asked entering the conversation

"We'll look at what's not playing fair, whether her readings have deteriorated, and make a decision from there, but she doesn't want to drag this out and she's already probably pretty close to pushing her upper limits of medical intervention that she's comfortable with, there's a difference between keeping her healthy and keeping her alive, you back awake" Luca said as he felt Jess stir from her slumber

"Internal body clock, and smelt food" Jess said opening her eyes and sitting up

"Chicken pasta" Luca asked looking at her as he stood up, the fact Jess was keen to try and eat even just a little bit was a good sign

"Just a little bit" Jess said with a smile as she grabbed the bag that was sitting there and pulled out the hand held device they'd seen Luca use earlier that day, as soon as it beeped Jess checked the numbers and grabbed the book to write them down before grabbing a small container and loosening the blanket so it was still wrapped around her, she pulled her hands in underneath and started fiddling with something on her abdomen

"How often do you do that" Clay asked as he saw Jess remove a closed bag of liquid from under the blanket and put it into a tub that was in her bag and covered it up so it couldn't be seen, didn't take a genius to work out it was most likely Jess's urine

"Every 4 hours, hopefully can get it to 6 hours, dad's trying to come up with ideas to manage it in the field that fit in with the guidelines from the MEB" Jess said as she recorded down some more numbers in a book, and set about flushing her feeding tube line

"So you still could be coming back" Sonny asked

"At the moment I have no control with that, so I'm not thinking about it yet, I need to focus on what I can control, thanks love bear, I already checked them, there where they should be" Jess said as Luca walked back over with a bowl of pasta, he'd only put a little bit in, less than a cup as he knew he could grab more later if Jess was still hungry, sitting back down next to her he grabbed the hand held device and held it over her abdomen

"Just making sure, it connects to a sensor on her stomach to monitor her blood sugars" Luca said explaining what he was doing

"Amazing, I remember my Grammy having to prick her fingers all the time testing hers" Eric said surprised

"Hey baby girl, that pasta good, happy" Jay said walking out of the games room and handing a tablet to Jess, he'd been in either Jess or Luca's office making some calls which ran off the games room, he was pleased to see his daughter eating

"Always and very happy, can't wait to try it on" Jess said looking through the pictures before handing the tablet back to her dad

"What is it" Brock asked

"You'll have to wait till the wedding like everyone else" Jess said with a smile on her face

"Wedding dress" Luca said

"Was thinking once it's completely finished, we take a day trip to New York so you can try it on, Rupert wants to go over some stuff with you as well, he said we could burrow his jet so the travel is easier on you" Jay said taking a seat on the other side of Jess on the daybed

"Wait you have a friend who has a personal jet" Sonny blurted out

"Yeah, and before you ask he's our family lawyer" Jess said

"This business it doesn't hurt to have one on standby, you know between this pasta, and chicken and veggie soup, they're what she lived on last time she came home from hospital, though the pasta still wins over the soup" Jay said

"Hey the soup is still good" Trent protested, having already had 2 servings himself, Alie had certainly put on a feast for everyone

"You can usually tell how she's feeling based on what she goes for, soup, she's really not feeling well, pasta wins every other time" Jay said laughing

"And gelato always" Jason laughed

"Yeah" Jess smiled, somehow the smile made everyone else in Bravo feel at ease, somehow despite everything their Jess was still in there, she was eating her favourite food, Jay had just said himself that if she was really feeling lousy she would have gone strictly for the soup

"Hey Bookworm, what sauce is that on the pasta" Sonny said, he'd obviously gone and gotten himself a bowl to try

"Parma Rosa, it's a combination of marinara and alfredo, do me a favour, when you take him out in Italy, show him a proper steak, not one of the tiny ones they serve over here" Jess said looking at Luca

"Tiny, well excuse me, but in Texas we do nothing tiny" Sonny pouted

"A proper beef Florentine is a minimum of 2 inches thick and weighs at least 3 pounds, please, I ain't seen a steak that compares in size to that yet over here" Jess said looking at Sonny

"That's a fair chunk of beef" Ray laughed seeing the look of shock on Sonny's face

"Aunty Jess, aunty Jess, is it true, that there's a icecream buffet we can eat at the airport when we go to Italy" Meelah said running out of the games room at full speed with RJ on her heels

"And we can have as much as we want" RJ asked with a huge grin on his face

"Yep, sure is" Jess said

"And we can wear pyjamas and slippers on the plane" RJ asked

"Yep, that to" Jess said, Zalie had obviously been talking to them about the perks of flying first class and what happens at the airport and all the rest

"Cool" Meelah and RJ both said looking at each other before running back to the games room

"We do need to work out who's on what flight as well" Jess said looking at Luca

"I'm sure we can work that out later, I've got the flight details from uncle Kahleed in my office, we'll meet in the lounge at Dulles, Dubai and Rome, its just due to the numbers, we'll be spread out on 2 flights, there's an hour difference between the 2 flights departure time from Dulles, and 2 hours from Dubai I think, but it has a layover in Paris for 30 minutes, you stay on the plane however" Luca said

"No time for any sight seeing then" Sonny said thinking that a trip to Paris would include a stopover in the red light district

"Maybe not on the flight, but Paris is only what, a 9 and a half hour drive from Lake Como, we're in Italy for 2 weeks, nothing to say you can't take a little side trip while you're there Sonny" Luca said noticing the look on Sonny's face

"You mean it" Sonny asked hopefully looking at Luca

"Sure why not, Metal was already asking me about it, taking of for a few days to check out the sights" Luca said with a smile

"And we all know exactly what those sites involve" Clay laughed

"My only advice is to book early, the shows sell out quick" Jay said with a cheeky smile