October 21, 1999

I saw Jake six days ago. We had a great night. I know he likes me but maybe it's just sex. We have great sex but I just hope that's not all it is. I don't really believe that it is. But maybe.

It's all so hard to figure out because I've been so careful not to show my emotions that I act almost indifferent towards him.

Hanging out with his friends the other night, there were a few signs that indicated he might want more. I guess I have it stuck in my head that he doesn't really care about me. I hope to god that is not true.

I just want to be cared for. And I'm so scared because I think I love him.