"So, how do you use this...bus pass?" Kyoya asked, studying the card intensely. He supposed it had something to do with the black line across the back of the card, like a credit card perhaps, but one could never be sure.
"You just step onto the bus and hold the card in front of the machine like this," Haruhi mimicked the movement. "As soon as it beeps you can move further back into the bus and look for an open seat."
"I see. How do bus companies manage to design the bus so that there are enough seats to accommodate everyone?"
Haruhi smiled. "They donʻt but they try their best. If you donʻt find a seat you have to stand."
Kyoya nodded pensively. "But that would surely crowd the bus and cause safety hazards. What about when the bus is over its capacity? What would a rider do then?"
"If weʻre lucky the next bus shows up soon. Sometimes there are various buses to take to reach one destination so we can take a different route. If not, we wait for more than half an hour or find another means of transportation. Thatʻs why Iʻd rather walk if I can. Itʻs just less of a hassle."
"I hope we get an empty bus." Kyoya said. It was his first time riding a bus. He could allow himself some naivety.
Haruhi made an uncompromising noise. She knew that was unlikely but it would be sad to crush his spirit.
"About the party on our anniversary…"
"Itʻs alright I understand it was work. Although to be honest I kind of hoped you were joking when you showed up the night before and said we were hosting a party." Haruhi said. She brightened up when she saw the bus approaching. "Itʻs coming. Do you want to go first?"
"Iʻd rather observe first."
The bus rolled to a squeaky stop in front of them. Kyoya slightly flinched when the doors opened. He didnʻt know what he was expecting but the loud noise of doors swishing across the entrance wasnʻt it. Haruhi stepped onto the bus, looking back to make sure Kyoya was following. He wouldnʻt chicken out but she had also been certain Tamaki wouldnʻt run and that happened.
She tapped the card exactly in the manner that she showed Kyoya, heard the beep and moved further into the bus. Kyoya mimicked the movement. When he heard the beep he felt his heart rate increase for a second. Still recovering from his panic, Kyoya followed Haruhi to the back portion of the bus. Haruhi was holding onto the pole near the back doors. Kyoya stood as close to her as he could without blocking the aisle or the exit.
"Do I just-" He stumbled forward as the bus began to move.
Haruhi reached over to hold him back from bumping into the person in front of him. "You can hold onto the straps on top." She pointed at the black straps along the top pole. "Or the pole itself. I hold onto these because I canʻt reach those."
Kyoya adjusted his glasses, holding onto the straps so tightly that his knuckles turned white. When the bus stopped he stumbled forward again. He looked at Haruhi, making it clear he felt somewhat betrayed. He had done what she said so why did he stumble again?
"You should adjust your stance a bit to stay steady." Haruhi showed him again. Kyoya nodded. By the time they reached the grocery story, the bus was so crowded that Kyoya didnʻt need to worry much about falling. There were so many people standing around him that there was really no place to move. Kyoya felt more than ready to walk freely and away from so many people until he saw how busy the grocery store was.
Haruhi looked at him with sympathy. "I forgot to mention thereʻs a big sale today so we might be here for a while." She looked around for an available shopping basket. When she found one she picked it up quickly, earning a glare from another customer.
"Was that lady planning on taking the basket?" Kyoya tried to hurry her along but Haruhi didnʻt seem fazed.
"She was standing there way longer than us and I got it first. I don't think she has a right to fight me for it" Haruhi replied, not at all worried about the glare. People werenʻt usually mean but tensions were always high when there was a flash sale or a busy store. Kyoya reached out to take the basket from her.
She moved through the aisles carefully, making sure not to miss anything.
"This is not my forte." Kyoya reminded her, stopping abruptly to avoid being run over by a shopper's cart.
"Sorry, Iʻm so used to doing this on my own." Haruhi replied from across the shopping cart, waiting for the line of hurried customers to go through.
"Or with Tamaki," Kyoya added.
"I guess so. He doesnʻt seem to have as much work to do as you. Or maybe he finds the time to do something aside from work." Haruhi walked to the breakfast aisle, not at all realizing the jab she had taken at her husband. Kyoya could tell she had mindlessly pointed it out but it didnʻt sting any less.
"Since I have an opportunity to explain, I wanted to say that the party wasnʻt supposed to be at our house. It was going to be in the main Ootori estate but Fuyumi wasnʻt aware of it and began to remodel any room that is, in her opinion, nonessential or out of date."
"Why would the logical backup be our house when we have the smallest one among your family?" Haruhi asked. Again, it wasnʻt an accusation, it was a genuine question from a practical person.
"I only heard the rest of the estate was unfit for visitors." Haruhi nodded and moved onto the next aisle.
"Yuuichi is in the middle of moving and Akito is a slob, even with a cleaning staff. Weʻd rather host a party at a small but presentable house than Akitoʻs place." Kyoya said.
Haruhi placed two jars of instant coffee in the basket. "I thought everyone had a multitude of estates."
"Of course but not in the city. If we wanted to use another house we would inconvenience our guests by asking them to travel to another city. The last and most efficient option was our house, much to my displeasure." Kyoya sighed. Haruhi pointed at something well above her head and he automatically reached out to grab it.
"That sounds like they just didnʻt want to host a party. If you told me ahead of time I could have helped you come up with an excuse to get out of it too." Haruhi replied. She kept moving through the aisle before abruptly stopping to read a label. "If you were truly willing to miss one networking session in which you could show off your property."
"Haruhi, please stop moving and listen to me," Kyoya said.
Haruhi finally stopped looking at the products, looked directly at him and crossed her arms. "Iʻm listening to you, Kyoya. But if we donʻt get through this soon weʻll be here for a while. The sale is just getting started which means the check out lines arenʻt too long yet."
"Iʻm trying to apologize to you for ruining our third anniversary after promising to make more time for us. I think thatʻs more important than whether or not weʻll wait in a long line."
"It does matter because the longer we stay here the more irritated youʻre going to be if you get a call for a meeting you canʻt get to. I donʻt like it when you become an impatient businessman because it almost guarantees my mood will be ruined. Iʻm trying to speed things up even though what I would really like to do is stall for time because thereʻs a very good chance I wonʻt see you for the next month after today, just like it took almost three months to discuss this." Haruhi let out a big, frustrated sigh when she finished. It had been pent up for so long she couldnʻt help but feel relief after her mini rant.
They stared at each other for a long time before Kyoya turned away and placed something in the basket. "You forgot the sugar. Weʻre all out."
"Do you want to go back to grocery shopping?" She let her arms relax as her gaze trailed back to the aisle. When she got no response she spoke up again, "For people that love to remain organized, the conversation we're having is all over the place." Sensing his hesitation Haruhi gently added, "I didn't fall in love with the cool host club member,"
This seemed to let Kyoya visually relax as he exhaled deeply. Haruhi pretended to look for one more product in the aisle to let him collect his thoughts.
FInally, Kyoya spoke. "In all honesty, I had no intention of attending the dinner party. I suspect that my family knew that and managed to think of every possible excuse to weasel out of it. We canʻt miss an event weʻre hosting even if our personal life has something much more important happening. I'm just sorry I couldn't stop them from getting away with it. I'm sorry I didn't give you a warning. I'm also sorry I tried to appease you with fancy tuna." The words rushed out as if a damn had been keeping them inside.
"Thank you." It was her turn to sigh. "Iʻm sorry too. I was so upset I didnʻt even think about rescheduling. Although in my defense rescheduling is hardly ever an option anyway. My point is that what's important is that we were able to see each other after so long. It's very easy to lose sight of that when there's so much stress."
"You shouldnʻt be sorry. I would be upset too if you hosted what was basically a business meeting on a special day. The fact that we were apart for so long just strained your patience. As for rescheduling, you're right. Thatʻs as good as waiting for next year given our workload lately."
Haruhi smiled. Some may say that she gave in too easily. It seemed to take so little to forget her grudges. Haruhi didn't think that way... she was fed up. Most of the time she didn't care for that analysis. Haruhi knew Kyoya's home was rarely warm or loving. His ability to apologize and express any sort of caring emotion was about as good as his ability to cook. Ootories only knew to remain stoic, do their job and find a merit. That's why she didn't care if a halted, awkward apology from him made her happy. In the freezing world he was raised to live in, that was monumental.
Although that never meant she couldn't tease him a bit. "Hey, next year shouldnʻt be a do-over. You can't pretend we're celebrating our third anniversary. It has to be an accumulation of the two, not a merger. Iʻm expecting you to make it up to me."
"Iʻm already making plans." He showed her his calendar.
She leaned in to look before laughing.
"Whatʻs so funny?" Kyoya asked indignantly.
"Do you really think youʻll get the month off?"
"If I stick to the schedule there shouldnʻt be a reason I wonʻt."
"Then Iʻm expecting extravagant gestures all month long."
"I already have a week fully booked, starting with a trip to an amusement park."
Haruhiʻs smile faded. It was unlikely to happen and they both knew it. As fun as it was to imagine what could be, they always reverted to their practical selves. "Even if it doesnʻt happen, knowing you did everything you could to be together on the actual day is enough. Weʻre both in demanding professions. Having to be apart for long periods of time is inevitable." Haruhi resumed her search for packs of soup.
Kyoya caught her hand before she could move too far. He held it as they walked along. "What kind of husband would I be if I canʻt remember our anniversary at the very least?"
They didnʻt talk at all. Kyoya couldnʻt think of anything to talk about. What did couples that ended on bad terms talk about. The weather? In fact, Kyoya wasnʻt entirely convinced that she had actually asked him to take her home. Had he imagined it?
Haruhi wasnʻt entirely convinced either. She was so close to escaping the torture that was their pending conversation but had given in? When they got off the bus, Haruhi almost told him to go away. She didnʻt need the conversation. Then Tamakiʻs words began to float around in her head again, reminding her that yes, she could in fact use the closure. Thinking of Tamaki's disappointed expression, Haruhi wordlessly indicated for Kyoya to follow her.
When they entered her apartment the first thing Kyoya noticed was how similar the layout was to the first time he visited her house in high school. It was even more plain if that was possible.
"You have a spare bedroom?" Kyoya asked, purely motivated by surprise and a lack of thinking.
"My dad sleeps over sometimes." She replied. Ranka wouldnʻt let Haruhi sleep on a futon and she wouldnʻt let her dad sleep on a futon so a spare bedroom was worth the extra payment. She didnʻt have many expenses anyway. "You can sit down." She halfheartedly pointed at the small set up in the middle of the room. Haruhi turned to the kitchen, stopped and turned back around. Offer a drink to this guy or see how dehydrated he could get?
"You wouldnʻt be a bad hostess if you refused to offer me a refreshment." Kyoya answered her question even though he she hadn't asked it out loud.
Haruhi set a pitcher of water and two cups down on the table. "I donʻt have coffee." She walked into her bedroom.
Kyoya felt his stomach rumble. Startled, he remembered that he'd had no meals since yesterday afternoon. It wasnʻt often that his day was personal enough for him to remind himself to eat.
Haruhi exited her bedroom and set down Kyoya's glasses on the table.
"Where did you find them?" Kyoya asked. He rummaged around his bag for somewhere to safely place his glasses.
"I don't remember." She found it under the fridge in the hotel room but she wasnʻt about to tell him that. After taking a shower her throat was so hoarse she had practically bolted to the fridge for cold water. When she opened the door the glasses skidded out. That only made her wince at the memories. Kyoya couldn't ask if she had looked for them or accidentally found them but he sure as hell wanted to know.
Haruhi wasnʻt eager to answer that question either. The more details he was aware of, the higher the chances of him remembering the occurrences of that night.
Haruhi watched Kyoya tuck the glasses into a pocket in his bag. "Order a pizza."
"How did you know I was hungry?"
He wasnʻt swamped with work which meant he had time to think about eating. It was about lunch time for her and she wasnʻt going to cook for him. Hamburgers were a little too close to home when it came to eating together. "Pepperoni with stuffed crust." She specified, instead of answering his question.
After ordering the pizza, Kyoya stared at Haruhi helplessly. How would their conversation begin? What could he say?
"Why did I end up on your legal team?" Haruhi interrupted his thoughts. "How is it possible that the almighty Ootori Group could do an extensive interview process but not a detailed background check?"
"I wasnʻt in charge of organizing that Yuuichi was. It wasnʻt meant to be my legal team, just a drastic measure taken after a possible forgery of signatures. Iʻm sure he - or our employees at least- did as much research as they could on every applicant and company."
"So itʻs possible I was only chosen because I was your wife?" Her indignance was thinly veiled.
"Yes the team responsible for the screening process and background check received every bit of personal information submitted by your company."
Haruhi rolled her eyes. In response, Kyoya added, "And the information our company found on its own. However the people who chose the initial candidates only had a summary of noteworthy achievements by both you and your company. The actual judges had absolutely no knowledge of your personal history or your company's information to avoid bias. Like I said, the Ootori Group had to approve every single applicant before you met the judges. Afterward, the judges were blind to facts outside of their judgement of you. So your performance and personality are the reasons you made it onto the legal team."
"What happened to the previous legal team?"
"They were all dismissed."
"All of them? Donʻt you think itʻs unfair to the people that had nothing to do with that supposed forgery?"
"I think itʻs unwise to risk more crimes. We were able to find the primary culprit but we can't ascertain they were the only conspirators."
"So they were fired from one day to another?"
"They were notified a week prior to the official formation of the new legal team," Kyoya replied. One look at Haruhi's face told him that wasn't enough. "How could you not think of the families and livelihoods of those people? I understand it was necessary but…" she trailed off. She was definitely going to get angry later and she couldn't let herself get carried away before they could have a civil conversation about the last year.
"If anything good came out of our relationship, it was your positive influence on my ability to feel empathy," Or so he (very unpopularly) believed. He thought back to the fit his brother threw when they calculated the cost of his proposal to compensate the team but not award the criminals. What carried more merit? The money they could save or the positive image the company would attain ?
"So what? You gave them some money? Kyoya, they have to find new jobs. They were FIRED because the company was suspicious of their integrity. You know how terrible that is for anybody's record."
"Officially, they were let go because their contracts expired and we chose not to renew. Finding a job is certainly easier when there is an excellent recommendation from a stockholder in the company so we made sure they all received one. As for the pay, a pension is obligatory, but they are also receiving the same benefits until they find a new job. Of course, there is a limit to how much time they may receive these services in case anyone decided to take advantage of our consideration." Regardless of the opinion of his associates, he had become nicer not dumber.
"What did you give up for that to happen?" She had never asked that question so bluntly. When they talked about difficult situations at work, Haruhi always found a way to have that question answered without actually posing it.
"I'll be handling a particularly dreaded business venture for a month. I'll also be in charge of meeting with our most unsatisfied shareholders for the next year. Oh, and I just couldn't make the bargain without agreeing to be the face of all and any negative publicity for the next 18 months."
"None of that makes up for the money you would spend."
"But it punishes me for thinking of the feelings of common people before the wellbeing of our company. Why would I reward potential traitors in any way? Why would I throw away valuable company money? Maybe I wouldn't do it again if I was in charge of some of the most despised aspects of running a company. I suppose I only have you to blame for that."
"Or yourself. Add it to the list of reasons why it was a mistake to marry me." Haruhi replied with no sympathy whatsoever. How ironic.
"I've said too many things to you that I regret. I'm," he took a deep breath, scared that she would berate him for excessively apologizing when it wouldn't change anything. "Truly sorry."
"Put on your glasses, You can use my spare contact holder and I have sanitizing wipes for glasses too if you're worried about germs."
Kyoya startled at the sudden change in subject but silently complied. When he was in the restroom, he felt a strange rush with the realization that he knew exactly where she kept the spare container and solution. At least he still knew that much about her.
Haruhi on the other hand felt a sense of dread that he still affected her. What the hell was it about his eyes that prompted such a flood of emotions? The first time she had seen him without glasses she hadn't even recognized him until he spoke.
Kyoya was trying to scare her into understanding Tamaki's point of view but that was barely enough to ease her fear. He wouldn't hurt her without a thoroughly calculated benefit but that didnʻt lessen her fright. It took her a long time to realize that she had the rare ability to read him so well. Seeing him apologize while seated across from her without a way to hide his expression…
Haruhi hated that no matter what she wanted to believe, her entire being knew he was sincere. She could almost successfully convince herself otherwise when his glasses concealed his eyes but there was nothing to help her without them.
Thirty minutes later the pizza had been delivered and the two had eaten their fair share of slices in a strange sort of silence. Neither could figure out if the other was trying to stall for time but that's exactly what both of them were doing.
"I truly hope that I was chosen because of what I could bring to the team and not because someone felt the obligation to include their bossʻ wife." Haruhi resumed their earlier conversation.
"You're an excellent lawyer and a good person. That's why you were chosen."
Another period of silence ensued.
How could Kyoya ease into the topic? He couldnʻt bluntly ask about the accident. "I know I have no right to ask but what did you mean by Tamaki?"
"Of all things youʻve chosen to focus on that triviality?"
"Itʻs not trivial. As much as I want to ignore it, Tamaki was more involved with everything than I was."
"So what?" Haruhi asked with exasperation. "If itʻll encourage you to move onto more important topics-"
"Haruhi, I just want to know how he convinced you. You could barely convince yourself of it. I saw your hesitation when we got off the bus."
"Yeah I almost turned around and made you leave because I didnʻt think you were worth my time. In fact, I wouldnʻt have shown up at the hospital without his coercion. He was beside me the whole time so of course I listened to him. He provided an outsiderʻs perspective of my situation and has proven he wants what is best for me. I couldnʻt stand the idea of you deserving to know anything about my child but Tamaki reminded me that I owed it to myself more than you."
"He truly holds a great deal of power over us doesnʻt he?" Kyoya muttered. Not even he knew if he wanted it to sound sarcastic or awestruck.
"I donʻt know which one of us deserves him the least." Haruhi replied, staring at her glass of water.
"I agree. Perhaps we wouldnʻt have made it to this point without him." Kyoya admitted. "I spoke to him before we left the hotel." Kyoya replied. "I told him about the case and to be honest it was a miracle that he didnʻt hit me."
Haruhi was barely surprised that Tamaki knew. Kyoya's confirmation only cemented her suspicion that the lawsuit was what made Tamaki reach out to her. "It seems Iʻm always the last to know things concerning you."
"I could say the same." Kyoya said. He was home fairly steadily when he returned from Europe and she didnʻt tell him about their child or her accident. That couldnʻt possibly have been entirely his fault.
"Except the only reason for that was your own lack of responsibility. What were your words again?" Haruhi tilted her head, pretending to think. "What kind of husband would I be if I couldnʻt remember our anniversary at least?" Haruhi recalled. "If you kept your promise then you would be aware of every detail. If you had at least bothered to let me speak at the cafe, you would have known."
Kyoya almost reached out to brush Haruhiʻs hair back. It was getting too long for her to keep it out of her face without tying it down. It was yet another sign of her response to the sudden changes in her life.
"I admit that my negligence was partially at fault, but why couldn't you write me a letter? What about an email? A personal visit perhaps?"
"Do you think I could have visited you on my own? Youʻre acting as if the twins and Tamaki arenʻt more protective of me than you. Even if I could get away from them, why on Earth would I travel to the US knowing you wouldn't be home most of the time? Besides, given the fact that every hostʻs letters were returned how would I know for sure that you were at your usual apartment?"
"I made sure to block Tamakiʻs name from my mailing list when he first learned how to send letters. Didn't you know that? I can understand why you wouldnʻt want to travel but how hard would it have been for you to write the email or letter?"
"You mean with the realization that you didn't care enough to stay even one minute more and listen to the news that were important to me? You didnʻt answer my calls or texts. I even called at night, on your time, sometimes and was sent straight to voicemail. Through your personal number! " Haruhi's cheeks began to tint with the frustration.
"When I manage to go home at night I instantly fall asleep and you know it. Iʻm exhausted from traveling and dealing with investors all day. I didnʻt know you were pregnant so how could you expect me to wait for your calls!?"
"It shouldn't have mattered what the news was. What should have mattered was that they were important to me!" Haruhi could feel her self-restraint waning. She shakily sipped water while Kyoya sat in a fuming silence.
"If you felt so passionately about understanding what was important to each other, why couldn't you understand how important work is for me?"
"If I didn't understand it, I wouldn't have put up with your constant dismissal of me. The last year was the final straw. No reasonable person can blame me for getting so tired of your lack of responsiveness that I gave up. "
Haruhi had refrained from thinking too much about where her relationship with Kyoya would stand if she hadn't been pregnant. Sometimes she was certain that she would not have divorced him even if they never saw each other. If anything, the worst possible outcome would have been her slowly falling out of love with him and eventually being too tired to care about their problems. Or what if her baby had survived? Even before the accident, Haruhi was resolved to grow numb to the feeling of knowing Kyoya would always be "too busy". Yes, they might have still been married but there was no doubt that she would basically be raising their child on her own. No matter what realistic path she thought off, they all lead to the same destination. Haruhi and Kyoya would grow apart and at least one of them would feel an irreversible bitterness but neither would file for divorce. What would be the point?
When Kyoya didn't respond Haruhi continued in a slightly calmer tone. "I sent emails to all of your accounts before I finally accepted that I didn't matter to you at all. Remember the account that was specifically meant for communication between us? I sent three emails. Two of which asked you to contact me and the last simply stating that I was pregnant. I'm assuming it was abandoned long before that incident." Haruhi let her eyes wander around the room in an attempt to prevent the water threatening to rush out. It was bad enough that she was losing her composure. Kyoya didn't need to know how much his lack of affection still hurt.
"Your assumption is wrong." Despite his desperate attempts to redeem himself, Kyoya's pride still won out. He had no intention of displaying how much it hurt him to hear her assume he didn't care about her just because he couldn't respond to her messages. "I read every single email you sent me."
"And you coincidentally stopped reading them before you left."
"Yes, actually. I was always busy but I read your emails during every spare minute I had. As soon as I got to the United States I knew there would be no point in trying to have some time to myself. You don't understand how difficult it was- "
"You didn't have time. You tried but had to start working. You forgot. That's always your excuse isn't it?"
"As stupid as it sounds, yes."
Haruhi shook her head. "I was just as busy as you, Kyoya. I found time to write to you even when we were apart for months at a time... but you could never write back? You couldn't find the time of day to acknowledge me? Was it really so hard to remember that you had a wife? I have never asked you to text me every hour of the day or even every day but once a month should have been the minimum." Haruhi wanted to smack the whininess out of her voice but it was impossible. She was always the understanding, supportive wife who knew that her husband was busy. But that never took away from the fact that her profession was also highly demanding and time consuming. It only furthered her confidence that no matter how busy one was at work, they could find time to do some chores, speak to their spouse and even attend one meeting with friends.
Kyoya silently brought his phone out. He opened his email app and navigated towards his inbox. He showed her the email list. Haruhi reluctantly looked at it. She couldn't deny that each subject line, except for the most recent 3, displayed 'read' next to it. "How convenient that the only emails you didn't read were the most important. And how interesting that they're still unread." Haruhi added. She didn't bother to point out that he could have easily opened the emails before their talk.
"How could I when the only websites I had time to visit were for work?"
"You're being ridiculous. There is absolutely no way that you didn't have time at all to click on a message."
"How would you know?"
"Why do you always forget that I'm just as much of a professional as you, Kyoya? I work with different types of people and they can all find the time to acknowledge my messages. I'm considered a busy person and can do so many things that seem impossible to you - the person with perfect time management."
"I was working on a project to expand our employees' benefits." Kyoya blurted out.
"So?" Haruhi asked, genuinely confused by what the hell that had to do with anything.
"It was supposed to be a surprise for our fourth anniversary. Not exactly your present but a sort of dedication to you."
"You can't just randomly 'dedicate' a project to me and expect it to make me happy."
"That project wasn't random." Kyoya's agitation seemed to spike. It had suddenly hit him that no matter what he said or did Haruhi couldn't bring herself to forgive him. He just hoped it was reversible. "It was inspired by you. After we rode the bus to the supermarket I started to research the lives of our workers." He paused to see if Haruhi cared. She looked indifferent but he hoped he hadn't imagined her shift in posture.
"You know that impromptu business trip I had after our talk at the grocery store? I went to one of our smaller branches outside of the city, where riding buses is more tedious. I wanted to experience first hand the different routes people took to work. In short, I found that having to decide between crowded buses or an earlier bus in no way optimizes somebody's work performance. In fact, I even debated just raising our minimum wage but we can't do that to only a select few."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because you inspired something that could help hundreds of our workers, maybe thousands if the project is still doing well a year from now."
Kyoya watched as Haruhi struggled to hide the curiosity bubbling inside of her. She didn't want to know what role she played in this project but she was interested in how the Ootori's agreed to help average people.
"And what did that cost you?" Haruhi asked tightly.
"I suppose my marriage." Kyoya replied.
"That's…" Haruhi shook her head, nearly scoffing. "That has nothing to do with our marriage. If all it took was a long period of time where you were gone, our divorce would have happened maybe three years into it?"
Kyoya crossed his arms. "Before then I at least let you know when I was leaving. I went home...occasionally. And I read your messages." He finished, somewhat embarrassed from admitting to his negligence.
"Well, it makes me feel so much better to know that none of that was truly bad. At least you came home 'occasionally'." Haruhi smiled.
"That's not what I meant."
"Then elaborate."
"I tried to be around as much as I could. It was only recently that I...forgot." Kyoya finished lamely. "And that's why our marriage started to deteriorate."
"How are you so sure?"
"Because I know you, Haruhi."
"You knew the Haruhi that still loved you." Kyoya tensed up, his hands hidden under the table. Haruhi's own shoulders seemed to have been pressing tighter into her body than before. It wasn't as if she hadn't said anything like that before. But an almost regret like feeling spread through her.
If Kyoya wasn't still before, he was frozen now. It was strange to feel unable to formulate a single sentence in his head but he eventually managed it. "I managed to obtain a permit to set up a car rental service specifically for employees of the Ootori Group. The ones with the most family to take care of and the least amount of money to spare. The project could be one of the most expensive in the history of the company. That is why the deal was to start in the more rural areas."
"The day we took the bus I realized just how difficult it was for some people to get to work and when I looked into it, the numbers were self explanatory. Bus schedules aren't always reliable which forces workers to look for alternatives, that are often not there, or risk being late for work."
Haruhi listened to him explain what he found, as if she didn't already know. Of course having to wake up earlier might hinder performance. The workers were tired!
"You think this was obvious don't you?"
Haruhi rolled her eyes and sighed. To his credit, he never had to experience any of that and never really had a reason to look into it. "Why would this have been a present for me? You tried to increase productivity in the company."
"I thought you would be happy that there was an initiative to help people. It does benefit the company but the money we spent matched or surpassed the benefits. I thought you would like the idea of making a reliable transportation method more accessible."
"So you're saying you abandoned me...to make me happy."
"I told you I had something big planned for our anniversary."
What a stupid excuse. "At least something good came out of your carelessness." Haruhi muttered.
"At least..." Kyoya repeated. "But I hoped that when I returned you would forgive me once you knew what I was doing." Kyoya continued. "I was almost done before our anniversary." He added, even though that didn't change the fact that on the actual day he had forgotten all about it. Yes, he had a deadline in mind but at the time he couldn't remember why it was important.
It was irritating that Haruhi was almost certain she would've forgiven him. After all, if he had returned around their anniversary she would've just been happy to have him with her. She was sure that any lingering doubt of Kyoya's attention to their baby would have been dispelled the instant she told him the news. "Except you never did return." Haruhi interrupted his excuses.
"I did." Kyoya protested.
"Too late." Haruhi cut him off before he could go further. Her heartbeat had surprisingly slowed down when she asked her next question. Maybe it was because she had accepted that the answer didn't matter. "Why did you leave?"
No matter what he said, their relationship was over.
"My father…" Kyoya paused. "I," he began again. "I left because there seemed to be a chance to expand to the United States. Not only for our resorts but our hospitals too."
"As if that's something that's never been done before." Haruhi scoffed.
"Yes, it has been done but our branches in the US aren't doing as well as we hoped. We had a few small resorts open but they produced little to no profit. They're basically non-existent."
"And the Ootori Group was just desperate for that additional income? Because the shareholders aren't rich enough."
"No, we care about the reputation. If our branches in the United States are successful, at least among the upper class, then word will spread. When they travel to Japan what resorts will they want to visit?"
It seemed like a reach to Haruhi but she could acknowledge the reasoning. "In the end, it's still about money then."
"Not for me."
"Then what is it about for you?"
"It was about our family. I wanted to ensure a future for our..."
"Children." Haruhi finished for him. She stared at her hands clenched together under the table.
"Since the day we got engaged, I thought, 'If I could grow the company as much as possible right now, I'll have more time to spend with our family in the future." Kyoya looked directly above Haruhi. He couldn't risk looking her in the eyes knowing that his plans were now impossible to accomplish.
"What about the family you had while you were working?" Haruhi's voice broke.
"I didn't know about your pregnancy!" He replied indignantly. It was much harsher than he had intended.
"Because just me wasn't enough? And after so many years, the hosts aren't enough to be your family?" Haruhi asked. They had circled back to the same point and she was finally asking everything that haunted her for so long.
"They are but it's different." Kyoya defended himself.
"Then what about me? I'm not family."
"You are - were - my wife so of course-"
"Then why didn't you ever seem to think of me?"
"I did! It's unfair that for one mistake you think I never cared about you!"
"One mistake?! So I guess your negligence, your lack of sympathy, your infidelity and everything else can be lumped into one? Oh but heaven forbid I choose to spend time with Tamaki, right?"
"You would be suspicious if I spent so much time with one person. Especially if that person has a past romantic interest in me!"
Haruhi felt the need to slap him again. His hypocrisy…
"I would never have an affair because I wouldn't want to hurt you or anybody so badly. Did you forget that at some point I actually thought of you as something better than detestable? And Tamaki? Of all the people you could have casted into that category you chose the least likely." Haruhi's face pinked to the point where she could feel her face absolutely ardent.
"I'm sorry." Kyoya repeated as barely a whisper. What else could he say? She was right.
But then again, she still wasn't completely faultless.
