Chapter 22: How to Win a Heart

"Would you please stop whistling that infernal tune?"

Giving Keqing a sidelong glance Lumine innocently responded, "Why? Do you have an issue with the music of your homeland? I thought it was actually rather catchy."

The way-too-serious young lady offered the blonde an unimpressed glare, bluntly responding, "When you butcher it that badly? Why yes, I do have an issue of sorts with your rendition fit to raise the dead."

Lumine felt her brow twitch, the slight to her auditory talents - and only deep within the recesses of her soul could she admit lack of auditory talent - causing her to immediately decide how she wanted retribution.

"Uh oh, Paimon knows that look…"

The sprite's murmur coincided with the Traveler indulging in a bit of fantasy, of the Qixing girl bound at the wrists and ankles while being bent over her knee, apologizing profusely as she administered a good, hard spanking-

"Woah, okay. Better drop the fantasy before I stop dreaming."

Pushing the pleasant daydream away she paid attention to the conversation once more as Fischl hurriedly stated, "Does this delegation not need relics and tributes in greater or higher quality than a simple medallion? Especially one provided by such dubious and untrustworthy knaves."

Accepting the change in topic for what it was Keqing merely shrugged, responding, "No, it doesn't. It may seem a simple enough trinket to afford safe passage to such a dangerous area but bear in mind interlopers who try to falsify such items will meet with the wrath of an Adeptus. And they are very good at telling what's a fake and what's a forgery, seeing as how they've had a hand in making most of aforementioned passes."

"It seems we shall be putting that claim to the test, there's what I believe to be an Adeptus on the path not far ahead of us."

Oz's report had Keqing blinking in surprise, quietly murmuring, "Who would be out this far?" before the group hurried ahead, the Qixing member stopping dead in her tracks as they caught sight of the supposed Adeptus.

"Lady Ganyu? What are you doing out here?"

Lumine gave the new arrival an appraising look, even as the demure woman responded, "I was about to ask the same question, Lady Keqing. And in the company of so many strangers?"

Tuning out the conversation the Traveler gave the horned woman Alec had been mooning over a close examination, arriving at the conclusion that the man had very good taste indeed. A demure and subservient air that didn't cross over into the territory of doormat, a nicely proportioned but not excessive figure highlighted by body stocking and high-quality fabrics while her red and black horns just added an exotic tinge to the whole deal.

"I think you were underselling her a bit, Alec. DAMN she is cute."

Once again forcing herself to stop staring and start paying attention to the actual conversation she came back just in time to hear Keqing explain, "They are trustworthy, evidently they have been dragged into yet another Fatui plot after being handed this relic."

"Lady Keqing's summarization that this reeks of Fatui meddling to destabilize and bring forth chaos to your fair harbor seems most accurate a conclusion."

Ganyu only blinked once at Fischl's exaggerated means of speaking, instead handing back the medallion before musing, "That truly is fortuitous timing, I was just on my way to do something similar. It seems Alec was correct in his prediction that someone would aim to disrupt the transfer and balance of power within Liyue…"

Lumine, Fischl and Paimon all blinked, the Traveler asking, "Wait, you already talked to Alec?"

"Yes, when he was arrested I was granted the opportunity. May I ask who all of you-"

Comprehension dawned in the woman's expression, quickly remarking, "My apologies, I hadn't recognized you as his companions. Word of your actions in Mondstadt has spread even here to Liyue and they are most impressive."

Belatedly realizing that even Keqing had known of them Lumine was quick to respond, "No apologies needed, we've been traveling with him for awhile. Didn't land himself in a prison cell, did he?"

"Even if that would be pretty funny."

Ganyu looked affronted by the mere idea, swiftly stating, "As if Liyue would be so crass to imprison one who has offered it services beyond counting over the millennia. May I ask how he acted or behaved during your travels? Was he at all ill or of poor disposition? I do not mean to nag but-"

"Perhaps a more pertinent question to ask those in close contact with the man is if he's entirely trustworthy, Lady Ganyu."

The displeased look the Adeptus sent her fellow Qixing member seemed entirely out of place on her face, the younger woman nonetheless sticking to her guns and calmly added, "All we have to go on is your word, Lady Ganyu. And it did not escape my attention that all it took was a few choice words from him for Lady Ningguang to enact plans that will have dire import for Liyue's future."

"You doubt the trustworthiness of my estimation?"

"Considering the information and influence this man seems to possess I would hope it's more than just myself that remains skeptical."

Sensing a storm brewing Lumine was quick to intervene with, "To answer your initial question unless he deliberately did something stupid - which of course happened - he was perfectly okay. A little distracted and cagey here and there but nothing too bizarre."

The minor bit of deflection didn't bear fruit as Ganyu frowned, hesitantly asking, "And what lead to these lapses in health?"

Sharing a quick sidelong glance with Fischl and Paimon Lumine slowly explained, "He did something with a knife he owns, saving a girl's life after he, well…stabbed her with it. Needless to say, it was strange. Hey, since you seem to know him what are his abilities, the guy is-"

The opportunity to gain more info on the mystery god fell flat as Ganyu looked openly alarmed at her recounting, hurriedly asking, "He used it?! Even after all that's-"

"Lady Ganyu? Can we perhaps remain focused for the moment? We can catch up at a later date, right now Liyue would be best served by a swift recounting and settling of uncertain matters."

Swallowing her bevy of questions with clear disappointment the Adeptus nonetheless nodded in agreement, the Traveler forcing herself not to roll her eyes at the distraction as Keqing turned to the rest of the group, resignedly stating, "Judging by your comments and responses Daman isn't what you would consider a threat to Liyue's safety?"

Fischl drew herself up with great pride, responding, "Alec tendered great aid to the land of winds with no expectation of recompense beyond mere trifling tools and coin, a sum any self-respecting worker could have garnered with a decent exertion."

Lumine just shrugged, stating, "He saved the life of a kid he'd only met a few hours ago in a move that - despite what he may claim - probably could have killed him. In my book that makes him pretty alright."

She noticed that Ganyu seemed fairly resigned to her recounting of events, the woman wilting slightly as Keqing merely sighed before announcing, "Your words and endorsements are noted. Come, let's continue with our original task of meeting with the rest of the Adepti, the sooner we conclude this meeting the sooner we may discern the true purpose behind this convoluted Fatui plot."

No one had any objections to that and continued on their way deeper into Jueyun Karst, Lumine taking the opportunity to sidle up alongside Ganyu and begin plying her with all sorts of questions…and maybe play a bit of matchmaker, she loved doing that.

Even if the couples she and Aether had matched together had ended up being just as chaotic as they were but no union was perfect and that's the story they were sticking with.

"So you seemed pretty concerned about Alec back then, what's the deal between you two? His mother, by any chance?"

A smirk adorned the blonde's lips as she finished with, "I have to say, you look good for your age."

Cheeks briefly pinking in an unfairly adorable display the Adeptus was quick to correct her, responding, "N-nothing of the sort! Indeed, Alec is a great deal older than Rex Lapis, who was ancient even before I was born."

Curiosity piqued the Traveler asked, "So how old are all of you exactly?"

"I am somewhere around the age of 3000 while Morax is at least twice that, many believe with good reason that he is even older."

Lumine blinked. Rapidly.

"...Wait, what?"

If she used Teyvat's calender as a basis she herself was going to be 400 in just a couple more years. Several times younger than the person who considered herself the baby of the social group.

"Wow. Alec wasn't kidding when he said he sees most of us as kids. The guy is probably older than some geological formations."

Shaking off that thought Lumine instead smiled, teasing the Adeptus with, "Well if I look as good as you do at three millennia I'll be one very happy woman."

"O-oh, that's very nice of you to say?"

Inwardly rolling her eyes at the stuttery response she instead mused, "But, wow. I know Alec said he knew you since you were a kid but that really puts things in perspective."

"Alec spoke of me?"

The equal parts apprehensive and excited response from Ganyu had Lumine smelling blood in the water, inwardly squealing with delight at how much fun she was about to have with this.

"Oh yeah he was full of praise, saying how you were incredible at keeping something as enormous as Liyue functioning properly, that he'd learnt all sorts of archery tricks from you…and if you don't mind me saying so he was a whole let less vocal with praise directed towards Barbatos and Morax. Nobody special, just two Archons."

Fighting back a giggle as Ganyu looked ready to faint on the spot with a violently crimson hue to her skin she rapidly stammered out, "I-I do not believe that he views me above the gods, it's merely his familiarity that allows him to speak so candidly! After all, he's known them for a great many more years and is a god himself, surely it's just the friendship they share!"

The mortified tirade ended, instead allowing a defeated sigh to slip past flawless lips.

"More than anything else I'm fairly certain Alec still views me as a child, rather than an adult to be valued and judged on the same scale he uses for Barbatos and Morax."

Offering the Adeptus a friendly pat on the hand Lumine sagely nodded, sympathetically remarking, "It must be tough, trying to get the affection of someone you love and cherish when they only see you as someone too young for them."

"Yes, it is. I've tried many different methods and plans over the years but nothing seems to work, he always just-"

Ganyu's face froze in mortification as she realized just what it was she'd so casually admitted, Lumine merely smiling with bliss at how easily the secretary had played along with her ruse.

"I-I mean, that isn't, there's no reason to-"

"May I ask what you're doing to our secretary?"

Keqing's pointed and less than friendly words merely drew a winning smirk from the Traveler, ignoring the question as she instead slung an arm around the Adepti's shoulder, bringing her in close as she whispered, "Don't worry, I know exactly what you're feeling and I can even help you out! Just a little bit of girl talk, you know?"

Ganyu swiftly regained her composure, face regaining some of its normal coloring as she mumbled, "I appreciate the gesture but that's perfectly alright, Lumine. You don't need to go out of your way-"

"Oh trust me, this is the opposite of going out of my way."

"That and I get to hold this lovely lady close. Geez, soft skin and clothing with underlying muscle? Sexy archer much?"

"Besides, Alec helped me out a lot when I first arrived in Teyvat, it's time I repay that and make him see that he's missing out big time."

"The intent is appreciated but that really isn't…wait, when you first arrived in Teyvat?"

Idly waving her hand Lumine was quick to deflect with, "Not important, I can tell you later. Right now this is all about you and what I can do for you."

"T-that's very kind but rest assured that-"

"You weren't getting anywhere on your own, right?"

The Adeptus wilted, the truth of that statement hitting home like a bunch of bricks as she nodded her head in open defeat.

"Okay, then if we're going to pull this off why don't we start at the beginning? What, exactly, made you like Alec so much that you're willing to pine after such an openly dense guy who hasn't returned any of what you want over lots and lots of centuries?"

"Is…is it truly necessary that I tell you all of this?"

"Yes. Yes it is."

The blue-haired woman folded like a house of cards, weakly responding, "It wasn't just one event in all honesty, it was countless numbers of them, all occurring over the course of many years. He was…something of a folk legend among the many cultures and communes dotting Teyvat, almost mythical even among the company of those that would later become the Archons. Arriving at the last minute, appearing just before on occasion. And always speaking as an equal among the likes of Barbatos and Morax."

A small, heartfelt smile adorned the Adeptus' lips as her expression turned towards memories and happenings far in the past.

"He was also incredibly kind, always taking what opportunities there were to speak even with those of us not directly aligned with the upper echelons that decided our course. His tales of happenings and events in other lands were also quite inspiring, never mind fascinating for those of us that had not the opportunity to explore those far off locales ourselves."

"Ah. A case of hero worship?"

"Not exactly. Although I suppose it's not an incorrect assumption to make, all things considered. Eventually I grew up and joined the war efforts myself, standing alongside my senior Adepti and Rex Lapis which, naturally, also assured that I would fight at Alec's side."

Here the woman paused, as if trying to find a way to properly encapsulate what she had felt and experienced during those years.

"His strength…it was like nothing I've ever seen or experienced, so different from what I had assumed and thought power looked like. He could not manifest pillars of stone larger than ships as Rex Lapis could nor could he summon the winds to empower and make swift his allies like Barbatos can…but it was as if the elements themselves loved him, answering his call without distinction or question as every school of martial prowess was performed as if by a master. And no one who fought at his side feared death, for in his shadow to take your last breath was simply, well…natural. Expected."

The Adeptus shrugged, hiding her face from Lumine's inquisitive gaze as she quietly murmured, "And that was it, mostly."

"...Mostly?"

Another wordless nod as the Traveler prepared herself to say that wasn't even close to enough info to go off of before pausing to think about it.

Those were thousands of years Ganyu was talking about, a not insignificant amount of time no matter what metric you used. Thousands of years in which she fought alongside someone she admired and spoke to him countless times about any manner of subjects…hadn't she herself already become fast friends with Alec, even though she'd known him for a grand total of a few weeks?

Just how many moments and trials had they gone through over the years? Hell, how did you even encapsulate all of that into mere words?

"Okay, so she's not just some lovesick maiden pining after some distant goal…the question now is what the heck Alec's problem is."

"I'm sorry, that must seem like a truly silly reason, doesn't it?"

"No. No it doesn't."

Quickly formulating her next plan of attack Lumine said, "Okay, after all that time it's clear that the problem is that Alec doesn't have the right mindset, it's not a question of whether he likes you or not…what exactly are your credentials again? Secretary or something along those lines?"

"Yes, that more or less encapsulates it. I often settle tax or administrative disputes between various guilds or groups although I will occasionally travel the harbor in person and resolve individual issues. And although I often find myself struggling with such tasks I also play a part in categorizing and editing information that we receive from foreign Liyue citizens and passing it along to the Qixing."

Lumine blinked, belatedly realizing that the woman before her held a lot of power.

"Oh, and while this is a far less often occurrence - maybe once every few years - my familiarity with Liyue and its mercantile business means that I am occasionally called in to aid in formulating plans for merchant docking and offloading if schedules become cramped. And I also train those that seek to be employed by the Qixing in similar duties."

"..."

"..."

"...And you do all of that for a MASSIVE city that is hailed as probably one of the busiest and wealthiest in all of Teyvat? AND you love Alec wholeheartedly?"

While she blushed at the words Ganyu nonetheless gave a tiny nod…and Lumine felt her respect for the fallen god plummet to just about rock bottom.

"You know if I had a beautiful, exotic, devoted and insanely hot babe pining after me who was ALSO rich, influential and intelligent I would absolutely have her babies and raise our children, running the household and cooking the meals with a damn SMILE. Alec? What. The. Fuck."

"L-Lumine? Are you all right?"

Pinching the bridge of her nose the Traveler grumbled, "Yeah, I'm alright…just reflecting that our mutual acquaintance is a colossal idiot. Okay! Here's the plan and we have two options."

She flicked up one finger, Ganyu listening with rapt attention as she explained, "Since we're dealing with a blockhead of incredible density we can go with the slightly more convoluted option and engineer a situation where you and him have no choice but to confront the matter in a way he can't write off as just acting like he always has. One that always works out is the romantic candlelit dinner in a private venue…"

"Well that does sound intimate, I suppose I wouldn't-"

"With the wine or beverage of choice loaded with enough aphrodisiac to repopulate an entire continent's worth of rabbits."

A thin, whistling noise left Ganyu's mouth as she turned a brilliant shade of red, Lumine desperately trying to keep a straight face and likely failing before more reasonably suggesting, "Or you can just tell it straight to his face, sometimes the blunt but honest approach is best."

Recovering from the previous 'suggestion' with remarkable speed the Adeptus quickly stammered, "I, I could never say such an embarrassing with so little warning!"

"Well don't you worry, we have time to come up with a foolproof method. Although after hearing of everything you've accomplished I can't imagine why you want to continue pining after a dolt like that."

"Indeed. The Adeptus are to be free of spirit and unfettered by mundane trappings. To wish for a union with one who has naught but self-destruction on the mind is no great recipe for happiness."

An echoing voice interrupted their chat as an elegant and striking bird descended from the sky, gazing at the group with imperial majesty as Lumine - with a well honed sense of impropriety - asked, "Is this the famed step mother Alec has to conquer?"

Both Ganyu and Keqing broke down into awkward fits of coughing, the traveler meeting the bird's gaze as it visibly bristled with agitation, responding, "This one - who you may address as Cloud Retainer - has knowledge most unfortunate of that demon's proclivities."

"From personal experience?"

The metaphorical lightning strike of knowledge had Lumine performing a double take, asking, "Wait, did Alec have an affair with a bird?"

The silence that followed was deafening in mutual disbelief, the Traveler belatedly realizing just what it was she implied.

"Well, looks like I still have my talent for creating horrific silences. Go me."