Disclaimers: I own nothing or anyone associated or affiliated with TNA. I own only the original characters. This is just a fictional story that came from my imagination.
Chapter Content & Trigger Warnings: None this chapter
Chapter 13
Joe and Ella both rose up to sitting positions on the bed, though Joe remained close by Ella's side.
"Do you love me again," he asked softly. His hand came up to stroke the side of her face. "Please, say you do." His voice shook slightly as he gazed into her blue eyes. "Tell me I'm not too late, Ella—that I've not screwed this up beyond repair."
Ella placed her hand over his, leaning into the caress then turned her face and kissed his palm. She was afraid to speak, but she couldn't leave his question unanswered. Meeting his dark eyes, she replied, "That all goes without saying, Joe. I never stopped loving you. I was just…devastated. And afraid after that night—that we had no chance." She hesitated slightly then. "I'm still afraid, to be honest."
"I was a fool, Ella," Joe whispered. "A drunken fool. And I have no idea why I was so mean to you. All I can do is promise to never do it again, and promise to spend my life making it up to you—if you'll let me."
Ella had no idea how to respond. She wanted him to mean what he was saying, but she also wanted him to be sure of what he was saying. "Joe…" she said carefully. "Don't make promises you can't necessarily keep. What about Christy? Didn't you love her too?"
"No," he answered, shaking his head.
"No," she parroted, "You weren't in love with her?"
He shook his head again. "I wasn't in love with her. I didn't even love her. We were just attracted to each other, that's all."
"So you never told her you loved her?"
"No," Joe answered. "I don't say that to someone without meaning it one-hundred percent." He gave her a meaningful stare and his dimples appeared. "I love you."
"I love you," she returned.
He pulled her close to him and brushed his thumb over her bottom lip, then kissed her mouth softly, and smiled at her. "All I'm asking for, is time to prove myself and to make up for my stupidity. How about we start with that, and go from there?"
Ella surprised herself by chuckling softly. She nodded, then reached up and brushed her mouth across his. "I'd say you have a deal."
Her soft laugh almost startled him, but he was glad for the musical sound. He'd wondered if she'd ever smile again, let alone laugh. His eyes met hers as she broke off the kiss and she turned serious.
"I do love you," she whispered. "No matter what happens…I love you—for always."
"No matter what happens," Joe returned, "I love you—for always."
She smiled again, and then pulled out of his embrace. "Let me go wash up for bedtime and we can start the movie. Sound good?"
Joe nodded, "I'll be here."
Ella entered the bathroom then and he began the order process for Man On the Moon as he heard the lavatory water come on. By the time she returned, he had the movie ready to watch.
She headed over to the chest of drawers then, and picked up her hairbrush. Joe watched as she ran the brush through her long, dark tresses, fighting the urge to go over to her and run his fingers through the satin waves. God, please help me prove to her how much I really do love her, he thought.
Ella turned suddenly, finished with her hair, and caught his watchful stare. Smiling shyly, she sat down by him on the sofa and sighed contentedly as he pulled her against his side. Feeling his arm go around her and hold her close, she couldn't deny that she had next to no interest in the movie. She was much more interested in staying in Joe's arms.
A long while passed as they both watched Jim Carrey portray the ever zany Andy Kaufman. But then Joe caught Ella nodding off periodically and realized she was long overdue for some sleep. Her head kept falling against his shoulder, and then the jarring motion would wake her briefly. Mere seconds later she would nod off again and the process repeated itself.
"Sweetie, do you want to go to bed," he asked her softly.
Her eyes were glazed, but she shook her head adamantly. "N-no."
"Ella, you're dozing off. I really think you should try to get some sleep," Joe coaxed gently.
He saw her eyes well up with tears of frustration and she shook her head again. "I c-can't."
He let it ride for the moment, deciding to wait on her to fall asleep completely. Then he could put her to bed. He watched as she indeed dozed off, and jolted awake yet again.
Groaning in frustration, she stood to her feet and lightly smacked her face. "Wake up," she ordered herself. She began pacing the floor in an attempt to wake herself fully. She stumbled then, and nearly crashed against the arm of the sofa.
Joe immediately shut the television off and jumped to his feet, "Ella, come on, honey…You need to go to bed. You're dead on your feet."
She ignored him however, and continued to pace the floor. "I can't, Joe…" she said softly, rubbing her eyes as she walked around the room. "You don't understand." She bumped the wall then, and barely missed tripping over her suitcase.
Uttering a soft curse, Joe darted over to her and gently pulled her into his arms, so as not to frighten her. He felt her body melt against his and he held her tighter as her face buried against his chest.
"Joe," she whispered softly. "I can't do this. I can't go to sleep," she slurred slightly from exhaustion. "I'm too scared… But, I'm so tired…"
"I'm sorry, baby," Joe said softly. He bent down and lifted her legs up, cradling her in his arms. "But you really need some sleep. You're not going to be able to stay awake much longer. Your body will give out if you try."
The idea of sleep terrified her, and she trembled as Joe carried her to the bedroom. "Please, stay…with me," she managed to ask as he neared the bed.
"I promise," he answered, laying her down on the mattress and then covering her up. "I just need to grab a quick shower, but then I'll be right here with you, honey. And I won't leave you."
Seeing she'd already fallen asleep, he bent down and pressed his lips to her forehead before turning and grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Then he headed for the bathroom, eager to get cleaned up and get back to Ella.
}i{}i{}i{}i{
"DADDY! DADDY! NO!"
Joe had tugged on his sweats and was then pulling on his t-shirt when he heard the sound of Ella's frantic screams. He shot out of the bathroom instantly, and threw open the bedroom door. Darting into the room, he found Ella curled up in a ball on the bed. The covers had coiled around her, pinning her in place, and her slender frame shook from the force of her harsh sobs. "Help me," she cried. "Please, help me!" Her hair tangled and surrounded her sweat-dampened face, and clung to her skin. As Joe ran to the bed and quickly pulled her into his lap, Ella instantly began struggling against him as if he were the culprit.
"Baby," Joe said, patting her face. Her skin was freezing. "Baby, wake up." He shook her gently, and she screamed again. "Ella," he called urgently, terrified that she was going to have another episode. When she didn't awaken, he grew more worried. "ELLA! Wake up!" He shook her again, trying to rouse her from sleep without causing her any undue pain or further injury. Her struggles weakened, replaced by several heart-wrenching sobs.
"Help… Hel—help me…" Her breathless, tearful whispers brushed over his neck as he held her. "Please, help me."
"Come on, honey," he said, kissing her cool forehead. She had since gone limp, almost as if she accepted whatever fate was to come. "Wake up, Ella. It's a nightmare. Just a bad dream." He shifted her in his lap and patted her cheek lightly again.
With a soft gasp her eyes flew open, frightened and disoriented. She found Joe staring down at her, a look of concern and fear on his face. "Oh, God…" she breathed, burying her face into his t-shirt. Her slender frame shuddered from the nightmare's impact.
"You're okay," Joe gently stroked her hair as she clung to him.
"Don't let me go," Ella pleaded in a whisper, her eyes anxiously searching his. "Please…don't let me go."
He pulled her closer against him. "Never," he said softly into her hair, as he rocked her. "Never."
"I s-saw my Daddy die."
The soft whisper broke Joe's heart, and he brushed some tears from her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, honey—so sorry."
Ella wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shoulder, seeking every bit of comfort he'd give her. She shivered as she wept. "They just kept shooting him—over and over again. He fell and I… I saw…" Her words trailed off as she broke into another round of sobs. "He died…w-with his eyes…open. He was looking right at me, Joe. I remember it—all of it."
"God," Joe said softly, and held her closer. Tears threatened to spill from his own eyes when he thought about what she had truly seen that night. It's worse than I ever could have imagined, he thought. "Oh, baby…" he whispered, "What can I do? I'll do anything. How can I take the pain away?" He rubbed his hands over the icy skin of her arms in an attempt to warm her up.
His soft-spoken words of desperation washed over her with a flood of warmth. She knew then that he truly did care. She pulled back a little to see his face. She looked into his eyes, and saw tears welling up in them. One tear spilled down his cheek, and with a shaking hand, Ella reached up and wiped it away with a gentle swipe of her thumb.
Joe doesn't cry, she thought, brushing the back of her hand over his cheek. Not ever.
She finally found the courage to speak. "Joe…" she shook her head in shock. "I've never seen you cry." She felt horrible suddenly, for making him upset. "I'm sorry I'm worrying you. I'll be ok-"
She was cut off as Joe's finger pressed against her lips. He swallowed hard, shaking his head at her. "No apologizing, Ella," he said, his voice shaking noticeably. "This isn't your fault, and it's not your place to apologize." He paused, and a slight flush crept up his face. "I'm crying because I can't begin to imagine the pain you're in, and I have no idea how to stop it."
Fresh tears spilled down Ella's cheeks as she pulled Joe's face to hers and pressed her mouth against his, their tears mingling with the passionate kiss. "I love you," she whispered, then kissed him again. "And with your love, I'll get through this."
"I'll do anything to help you through this," Joe said. He lay back down in the bed and tugged her down with him. Still trembling, she laid her head on his chest, as tears trickled from her eyes.
Joe had no words to encourage her with. He knew there were no words to bring her comfort. Only actions and time could do that. So he held her close, and lightly rubbed circles over her back to try and lull her back to sleep.
Nearly a half hour later, however, he looked down at her, thinking she had drifted off. He was surprised to find her eyes wide open, still fighting the insatiable need to close. "Ella…honey, you need to sleep," he said softly, tilting her face up to his.
She shook her head. "No…I don't want to."
He ran his thumb across her cheekbone. "Please, baby. Get some sleep. It's not good for you when you still have so much healing to do. Sleep is the best medicine."
"I—I just can't," Ella whispered. "I keep having nightmares. Each one seems to get worse. It's—It's too much. I can't watch my parents die anymore."
"I'm so sorry, lo'u alofa," he murmured in a soothing tone. He brushed his lips over her temple and pulled her closer to his body. "I'm right here. As long as I'm with you, nothing will hurt you," he vowed softly. "I swear it on my life, Ella."
"Joe…don't," she pleaded. "That's what I'm afraid of."
"Shhh," he shushed her softly and stroked his thumb over the back of her neck. "If you won't sleep, at least lay here and get some rest."
"Okay."
He smiled encouragingly at her. "That's my girl." He rocked her gently, and they remained in each other's arms until the sun rose.
}i{}i{}i{}i{
As Ella entered her parents' attorney's office behind Jeff and Joe, she nervously smoothed imaginary wrinkles from her long-sleeved black dress. Jeff had brought some clothes to her at Joe's hotel room earlier that morning. He knew she would need them, but he had also wanted to see how she was holding up. Needless to say, he worried when he saw her pale face cast with even darker shadows underneath her usually sparkling eyes. He handed her the clothes, along with a pair of black heels, and a make-up case of cosmetics, and then gave her a big hug.
"Ya hangin' in there, kiddo," he had asked.
Ella nodded unconvincingly, returning his hug, and then went to pour herself a cup of coffee from the hotel room's furnished coffee maker.
Joe wore a pair of dark gray slacks, and was finishing up buttoning a black dress shirt. Jeff made eye contact with him and motioned for the younger wrestler to follow him out into the hall.
"Hon, we're going to give you some privacy so you can get dressed."
Ella shrugged. She knew exactly what they were doing. She could have easily slipped into the bathroom or the bedroom and closed the door. They wanted to discuss her. Angry tears burned her eyes as she replied, "Okay. I'll just be a couple of minutes."
Jeff and Joe stepped out into the hallway and walked a short distance away from the door.
"How is she? Truthfully," Jeff asked. He knew the answer before it came to him verbally. Joe had yawned three times in the room, which was answer enough.
"She's afraid to sleep," Joe said, stifling another yawn. "I put her to bed last night because she kept dozing off on the sofa. She didn't want me to, but I knew she needed the sleep. I promised her I'd stay with her once I'd taken a shower. Anyway, the next thing I know…she's screaming. I finally woke her up after a couple of tries and tried to get her to go back to sleep. But she wouldn't let herself." He paused a moment before continuing, "I think she's going to need help, Jeff. She's trying to stay awake around the clock, and it's not good for her." Joe shook his head. "I wouldn't be surprised at all if she's got Post Traumatic Stress. She looked like she'd seen a ghost yesterday when she saw the gun you loaned me. It could have been a flashback for all I know. The nightmares, flashbacks and hallucinations, she's not eating, she's fighting sleep…" he trailed off, knowing that the evidence was unending.
Jeff shook his head in frustration. "When she comes home, she is going to sleep if I have to drug her to achieve it."
"She's taken to drinking coffee this morning. A lot of it," Joe said. "You may want to buy some decaf and switch it into a regular coffee can at your house."
"Good thinking," Jeff said. "I will. I'll also try to find some foods that can help with sleep."
Joe nodded, "I just hate for her to suffer through the nightmares."
"I know," Jeff agreed. "But sleep deprivation is nothing to mess with."
"What about counseling," Joe asked. "That could really help a lot too."
"Yeah," Jeff said. "I don't think she'll want to, but I will see if she'll consider it."
The door opened then, prohibiting Joe's response.
"No counseling," Ella said firmly. "I'll not see a shrink." No anger was in her voice or on her face, but Jeff noted the stubborn thrust of her chin. "I'm dressed. You can come back in now," she said, turning back into the room and leaving the door open for them.
She hated to see the looks of worry etched on their faces. She hated even more for them to talk about her as if she were crazy. I'm not crazy, she wanted to scream. I'm just exhausted, and too scared to sleep.
The men rejoined her and talked as she headed over to the mirror, and began pulling some makeup out of her bag. She then picked up her foundation and blended it on her face, applying the creamy liquid a bit heavier to the bruised areas.
Now, as she sat in the chair in front of Allen Tate's desk, she felt comforted as Joe took her hand in his. Jeff placed his hand behind her and patted her back off and on.
Her parents' lawyer entered the office then, and sat down at his large, cherry wood desk.
"Before I begin, I'd like to express my condolences to you, Ella, and to you, Jeff. Nathan and Andrea were truly wonderful people. They will be missed," Allen said softly.
Both Jeff and Ella nodded in agreement and replied, "Thank you."
The attorney then pulled a manila envelope out of a drawer in his desk and opened it up. He laid a stapled packet of papers on the desk's surface, and then pulled out a smaller manila envelope that had a post-it stuck to it. He picked up the packet and lifted his gaze to Ella. "Your parents had left individual wills in case only one of them passed away, but they also left a combined one should they have both passed away. That's the one I'll be reading aloud."
After Ella nodded her understanding, the attorney began reading through the articles of Personal Representative, Burial and Payment Of Debts, and Charitable Gifts. He finally reached the fourth article, which pertained to personal effects. "In the fourth article, your parents stated, 'we give and bequeath all our personal effects of every kind, to our daughter, Giselle Symone Roberts, upon her eighteenth birthday.'" He paused to explain, that obviously since she was already eighteen, she would go ahead and inherit everything. Then went on to read the next article. "Article Five states as follows: 'we give and bequeath all of the rest, residue and remainder of our estate to Andrea's brother, Jeffery Leonard Jarrett, until the eighteenth birthday of our daughter Giselle Symone Roberts; in which time, the estate will go to her.'" The attorney finally reached the article stating who Ella's guardian would be. However, the statement was moot. Being an adult, Ella no longer required a guardian. However, Jeff and Nina had expressed their desire to open their home to her.
The reading of the will finally concluded, much to Ella's relief. Free to leave, she stood, and prepared to shake Allen's hand. However, before he rose to his feet, the attorney picked up the second manila envelope and paper-clipped a couple of pieces of paper to it.
Handing the items over to Ella, he informed her, "These are your parents' death certificates, and this is a letter that your parents included with the will," he said, indicating the envelope. "They meant for you to look at it in private."
Ella gingerly took the items and stared at them for a moment. "Thank you Mr. Tate," she said softly.
Jeff thanked the attorney as well, and then they were leaving.
Once in Jeff's truck, he looked over at Ella and Joe. "Are you okay to stay with Joe again tonight," he asked. "All your things are moved in, I just need to get them unpacked and put away. Plus, a little arranging of the furniture."
"I could help," Ella offered. "They're my things after all. It's not fair for you to have to do it."
"It's not a problem, honey," Jeff assured her. "Besides, you can't do any lifting or dealing with heavy objects for a week or two," he reminded her.
She looked down at her hands, "Thank you. Thank you both for taking care of me," she said.
Jeff reached over and patted her face. "There's no need to thank us, sweetheart. This is what family does."
Ella nodded, though she still felt guilty, as if she were putting her family and friends in danger as well as burdening them. She didn't know what felt worse, her guilt or the fact that there was nothing she could do about it.
}i{}i{}i{}i{
Jeff pulled into a parking space at Joe's hotel and shifted the gear into park while Joe climbed out of the truck and then helped Ella down.
"If you need anything, just call me," Jeff said sincerely. "You two take care, and get some rest."
Joe nodded, putting his arm around Ella's shoulders. "We'll be fine. Drive careful."
Jeff smiled at them as Joe shut the passenger door, and then began pulling out of the parking spot to head back to his home.
Ella let Joe lead her to the elevator in the parking garage, and sagged against him once they were inside.
"You okay," he asked, tightening his arm around her.
"Yeah," she said softly, "Just a little tired."
"You should take a nap," Joe said gently.
Ella shook her head immediately. "No, I just need to sit down."
Joe knew better than to push the subject, so he just nodded and led her down the hall when the elevator doors opened. A moment later, they entered the room, and Ella laid the envelope and certificates inside her suitcase.
"I'll be in the shower in a bit if you want some privacy to look through your envelope," Joe told her.
Ella shook her head again. "I can't deal with it right now," she said. "It's the last thing I'll ever get from them. It'll be so...final. I think it will really hit home when I face what's in that envelope, and...I'm just not ready to handle it yet."
"I understand," Joe said, pulling her into a hug. "When you're ready to face it, I'll be right there with you, or give you the space you need." He stroked her back lightly, not sure of how sore she still was. "Whatever you need from me, I'll gladly give you."
"Thank you."
Joe kissed the top of her head and coaxed her to sit on the sofa.
"I'll order a pizza and we can eat a late lunch," he told her, grabbing his cell phone and the phone book.
"I'm not hungry," Ella said. "But you've not eaten lunch either, so go ahead."
Ella, I had breakfast. You wanted to skip out on that too. You need to at least eat one slice of pizza to try and keep your strength up." He sat down beside her on the sofa. "If you won't do it for yourself, your parents, or even for your uncle, then please…do it for me."
Ella looked into Joe's dark eyes, and at that moment, he could have asked her to do the most impossible task, and she knew she would die trying to find a way to accomplish it.
"Okay," she relented softly, and gave him a small smile. "I will eat some pizza. For you."
Joe chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose. "Good. What do you want on your half?"
"I won't be able to eat near half," Ella said. "Just whatever you eat will be fine."
Joe nodded, "Okay, how does grilled chicken and pineapple sound?"
"Sounds good," she lied, getting up and heading over to the coffee machine. She sat it up to brew a pot while Joe placed the order. Then she headed into the bedroom to put on some more casual clothes. Selecting a pair of jeans and a pale pink, off-the-shoulder sweater, she tugged off her pantyhose and dressy clothes. She also unpinned her hair from its topknot and began plaiting it into a long, loose braid.
Minutes later, Joe saw her emerge from the bedroom looking much more comfortable; and never more beautiful. He couldn't help but notice the way her clothes seemed to hang on her slightly, however. She had lost way too much weight in the past few weeks.
"Well, I think I'll jump in the shower real quick if you aren't going to need in there," Joe said, rising up from the sofa.
Ella nodded, and grabbed the remote control to the television. "Yeah, go ahead. I'll just sit here and watch some TV."
"I'll be out in just a few minutes," he told her as he grabbed a towel and his toiletries.
When he shut the door behind him, Ella's eyes wandered over to her bag where the envelope from her parents was. She debated over opening it. She knew the letter would be hard to face, but at the same time the curiosity ate at her.
No, she thought, I'll wait. There's plenty of time for it. I don't want Joe to see me crying, yet again.
With that, she zipped her bag shut, and waited on Joe to rejoin her.
