Winter Blossom

Summary: The granite stone was both a memorial and the resting site for all those shinobi whose bodies were unable to be retrieved in the line of duty and Kakashi found himself standing in front of it. He carefully folded in his legs underneath him and placed the flowers respectfully at the base of the statue. "Sakura, it's been a long time."

Author's Note: So this is a little side project storyline I thought of and couldn't shake. I just had so many ideas running through my mind about this story and I really, really wanted to get the basics of this story out there to get a feel for if people would find it interesting enough to continue. At the moment, I'm more focused on my other story "Hidden Fruit" but I will be slowly adding to this one over time. This story will deal heavily with issues of rape, PTSD, and trauma so if these are topics you'd rather avoid, please consider a different story to read.

Also I do not own Naruto.

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"Hound-taichou," A lithe slip of a woman appeared next to the cloaked figure, her presence only made known a few seconds before her appearance. "Target sighted within the encampment."

"Hai. Proceed with phase two, Doe-san." The masked individuals phased out of view, dispersing in their individual directions.

As if Kami herself was bringing down her own hand the sky split open and a thick jagged bolt of lightning bore down on the enemy encampment and the ground opened up beneath them sinking their tents. The two masked individuals appeared on opposing sides, each initiating more complimenting attacks, their hands moving at impossible speeds.

The initial attack was meant to eliminate at least half the forces, however, their opponents were not as ill-prepared as the intel had previously suggested, and many escaped unscathed.

'Hound' unleashed a volley of lightning style jutsu, easily cutting down several of the lower class rogue nin in his path but found he was pushed back by a pair of jonin-class shinobi and forced into a battle of taijutsu and kendo. Metal clashed against metal, blood spilled to the earth, the ground hungrily soaking it in. The realization that this mission was a failure was beginning to dawn on the ANBU captain.

'Doe' was not faring well either and she too was forced into a battle of taijutsu; her chakra enhanced strength allowing her to disable those unfortunate to cross her path. "Fuck." She muttered, her arms and forearms taking the brunt of the damage from a barrage of kunai and shuriken.

"Doe, retreat!" ANBU may be an elite class of shinobi but even they had limitations and in this case, they were wholly unprepared to complete this mission.

Obediently, the smaller woman turned to retreat into the woods after laying down a simple diversionary genjutsu and began following after the captain. Their enemies were immediately behind them and a barrage of senbon hurled at the two, landing mostly into the fleeing kunoichi's back who crumpled as her nerves and chakra channels were blocked.

The captain turned his head in time to see his partner land heavily to the ground, unmoving and the enemy ninja converged on her. He flung himself towards a branch, using his momentum to swing back towards the group and towards his fallen comrade.

Her mask had cracked on the impact of her fall, leaving her face exposed and she mustered all her strength to raise her emerald gaze to meet the Captains. "Go!" She croaked, her eyes pleading with him to escape while he still had the capabilities. Her eyes slammed shut as a tanto pierced through her shoulder, pinning her into the ground. The rogue shinobi were on her quickly and several more advanced towards the Captain who sent one last look at his fallen comrade. The blood loss was severe, her breathing slowing, she would be dead in minutes.

Kakashi jolted awake, his heart raced inside his chest and thick beads of sweat fell down his half-naked, heaving form. He buried his silver-haired head in his hands, trying to shake the memories that plagued his dreams.

In the ninja world, those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash.

His own words taunted him, reminding him every second of his failures. Mismatched onyx and crimson eyes glanced over at the clock; 0330. There was no way he'd be able to sleep any longer, not with her memory so freshly engraved in his mind.

Today is the day. Kakashi ran a hand through damp silver locks, sighing heavily as he moved to get up. It's been one year already.

A cold shower cut through his thoughts providing him only a few minutes of distraction before his body adjusted and his mind drew up images of his pink-haired comrade laying in a pool of her own blood.

Every night, she terrorized his dreams, and every day she besieged his thoughts. On every day off he could manage, he would sit with her at the memorial stone, begging for forgiveness, pleading her to rest in peace.

He turned the shower temperature dial sharply to the opposite side, the water turning into a scalding torrent of punishment. Paled skin turned angry and scarlet, save for the areas of scars that littered his back; they would always be pale and raised.

Kakashi waited till the water turned cold again before turning off the stream of water. No doubt his landlord would not appreciate the frivolous water usage but he didn't care. He quickly dried his body haphazardly before pulling on a long sleeve black shirt and a pair of black shinobi sweatpants to match. His mask and hitai-ate were the last to complete his ensemble. Today, he would forgo his weapons and the perverted book that he knew she hated.

The silver-haired man shoved his hands into his pockets, his shoulders and back hunched in slightly more than usual. Kakashi was glad that it was still extremely early and the streets were deserted save for the odd stray animal here or there. He let his feet guide him on his familiar journey and was soon in front of a dimly lit glass storefront.

Tap. Tap.

Blonde hair moved from behind an aisle and he gave a sad smile at the figure who unlocked the door and let him up. "Good morning, Kakashi-San." The blonde said, stifling a yawn. "Your usual?"

"Yes please, Ino-san."

The busty blonde disappeared into the back for a moment before appearing with a small bundle and a modest bouquet of white hydrangeas. "Are you… visiting her again?" The blonde's voice was soft and tinged with sadness as she held out the two items.

"Hai." Kakashi managed fishing for Ryo to cover his purchases but Ino shook her head.

"Say hello to her for me." She smiled, though the only emotion portrayed was sadness and Kakashi nodded, bowing slightly and meandering away.

Everywhere were people who reminded him of her, who looked at him with sad eyes and sad smiles, their own heartache over the loss of their friend. They would never know the guilt he had locked away in his heart, the pain and suffering he endured over watching the life fade from her and reliving it every day. It was Rin all over again, but this time, it was someone who'd been with him for many more years than he had worked with the brunette medic.

His feet once more took the lead while his mind was plagued with the similarities between Rin and Sakura, their expertise in medical ninjutsu, their affinities for unending and unshakeable love for their teammates, and their untimely demises, both of which the common factor was him.

By the time he had reached his destination, azure skies were tainted with beams of orange light as the sun kissed the night sky goodbye. The granite stone was both a memorial and the resting site for all those shinobi whose bodies were unable to be retrieved in the line of duty and Kakashi found himself standing in front of it. He carefully folded in his legs underneath him and placed the flowers respectfully at the base of the statue. "Sakura, it's been a long time." He muttered, his voice wavering ever so slightly. He had never known how to start off their conversations. Nothing he said ever felt right.

"I know you hate pink, so I hope white is alright." He offered, trying to joke about his choice in floral arrangements. He tugged at the strings holding the other package together. "Oh, Ino says hi. She put together your flowers, obviously." The paper fell away from the box in Kakashi's lap and he pulled out a bottle of sake and two glasses, pouring one for himself and another for his fallen comrade.

"Naruto's been busy as the Hokage, I don't imagine he's come to see you often as he'd like." He paused as if awaiting a response. "I think you'd be really proud of him. He takes it more seriously than even Tsunade." He chuckled lightly, though there was no happiness in it.

"Sasuke's gone again. Probably won't be back for another three years." Silence.

The small talk continued into the afternoon, his voice cracking every so often. At one point, a chunin team had approached the rock but retreated when they saw his form hunched there. It was no secret he visited often and stayed late.

"Sakura…" His voice faltered and he cleared his throat before continuing softly. "I'm so sorry… I wish… I wish it was me. I would give anything, anything to change places with you. I left you, I'm worse than trash." Mismatched eyes closed, he inhaled through his nose and exhaled faintly through his mouth before opening his eyes again.

"I'll come to see you soon. I promise."

Author's Note: Please let me know how you like the story so far. This first chapter is a bit short but again, this is just laying down the basis for what's to come in the next few chapters. All reviews are greatly appreciated! 3