Author's Note: Please Read! This story is turning out a lot darker than I originally anticipated and I quite honestly struggled a bit writing it but I feel like a lot of the anime and the FanFics I've been reading have really skirted around the darker aspects of the ninja life. I wanted to showcase the horrors behind the curtains as well as learn more about PTSD and related therapies for personal reasons. That being said. I will not ever be writing graphic rape scenes. I might say it happened or elude to it but I can't and won't write that kind of stuff.
I'm actually really hesitating to put this out, if I'm being really honest. If the feedback is mostly negative, I'll take it down posthaste.
Now that that is said and done, please pay attention to the warning below. I really don't want people to be uncomfortable with my writing subject so if this is not a topic you can handle reading about, don't read it.
WARNING: DESCRIPTIONS OF TORTURE, HINTS AT RAPE, PTSD, DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. RATED M FOR A REASON.
TRIGGER WARNING
X
There was a stirring among the ANBU operatives. No one expected to see a ghost of the past there in the damp holding cells of a rogue nin encampment. No one expected to hear the rattled breath of said ghost on the cusp of death.
In the center of the room, hanging from the ceiling shackled in chakra suppressant chains hung the naked, atrophied body of a vaguely familiar young woman. Her shoulders were disjointed, likely from the prolonged hanging on her body. Bony protrusions poked out against taunt, translucent skin and thin, dehydrated veins could easily be seen just under the surface. From the top of her head to the soles of her feet were wounds in various stages of healing ranging from open with dried blood to old scars that were beginning to turn into jagged pink lines. The angriest of the scars reached from her sternum down through her navel to the crest of her pubic bone.
The onlookers were not usually perturbed with such sights, but what stalled their movements was the hint of pink tresses beneath what was likely many, many layers of dirt and debris.
One of the masked individuals darted forward, black katana unsheathed in a fluid movement and the chains breaking in another controlled swing. Before the woman could fall and shatter against the cobblestone, she was cradled in her rescuers arms. Even still, she hardly moved, her jade eyes, though open, seemed unseeing, and her face was as blank as the ANBU operatives' masks.
"Send ahead for medics at the gate. Notify the Hokage." The masked individual ordered softly, shifting slightly to pull off his long black trench coat to hide the nakedness of the husk of a once formidable kunoichi.
X
Even as they quickly approached the gates, a small crowd was forming at the gates. The jinchuriki Hokage paced irritably at the gates with two bored looking guards, a few advisors at his side and the medic team was prepping the gurney for patient transport.
The ANBU agent gingerly laid out the woman, careful to keep her as unexposed as possible. For a second, time seemed to have frozen. A look of recognition and then confusion flashed in the Hokage's cerulean eyes. The guards at his side, snapped to attention, all wide-eyed and even Shikamaru, the guy who could see ten moves in the future, was stumped.
The medics froze for the briefest of moments before jumping into action, each working in tandem flawlessly as if reading each other's minds. One quickly found a viable vein, inserting a field IV while another hand prepped an intravenous normal saline solution to bolus on the trip to the hospital. The third individual was hurriedly doing a rapid assessment of all wounds, sent out an exploratory burst of chakra to scout any internal problems. "Pulse thready and rapid, respirations labored, tachypneic." He paused pressing a stethoscope to the concave chest and nodded grimly. "Lungs sound wet. Slow the bolus until we can get cardiac function tests done. Let's move." He ordered, the team taking off in a perfect show of teamwork.
The entire entourage of people at the gates were hot at their heels, the ANBU remaining easily to the side of the medic team, close enough to intervene if there was a problem but giving them a wide enough berth to maneuver and work without interference.
"Rat-san, Hound-san, report." The Hokage ordered, still staring intently at the skeletal woman on the gurney as they waited in the ER.
"Intel was good. The remaining members of the rogue ninja faction were at the location and were eliminated quickly. Upon investigating their encampment, an underground passage was found with her inside a cell. The other two members are finishing up information gathering and evidence destruction." Always straight to the point verbally. Naruto appreciated it. The written reports, no doubt, would be much more lengthy and tedious.
"Hai. Send for Kakashi Hatake, Lady Tsunade, and Ibiki Morino." The mask bobbed and the man disappeared in a cloud of smoke leaving his partner behind to watch the captive.
Naruto could hardly believe his eyes, even after processing this new information for the past thirty minutes. Nurses and doctors bustled in and out, taking vitals and rechecking, healing wounds as best could be done given the advanced age of many of them. What the fuck did they do to you, Sakura?
X
It had started off relatively easy. They just asked questions while her mangled body was healed. The medic treating her was definitely not on par with the medics of Konoha, but his skills were passable in the field. Still, she refused to speak a word. She could not, and would not, betray her precious people. That was her nindo.
The first week was spent trying to gently coax information from her to no avail and she tried to mentally steel herself in preparation for the next phase. Information was more accurate with a gentle approach but if that didn't work, tactics would likely get more brutal and sadistic with time.
She was still hopeful there was a rescue party somewhere out there.
That hope would not last.
With nothing to show for their soft approach, the psychological and physical torture began soon after, always followed by a quick visit from the medic who healed the worst of it, but never really took away the pain.
It had started with sleep deprivation. Bright fluorescent bulbs hummed constantly, warming the cold room ever so slightly, but made REM sleep near impossible. Even when she had finally felt on the verge of something akin to restful sleep, loud never ending music would blast through hidden speakers, jarring her awake.
ANBU had taught her many things and she carefully trained her expression to remain as impassive as possible, despite the growing despair inside of her.
She leaned against the cold wall, gently rattling the thick chakra suppressant chains across the ground. There were few things she controlled here, and this tiny movement and soft sound were oddly comforting for a short while. She wouldn't have the energy for movement soon and so she relished the small things while she could.
It had seemed like weeks since she had slept properly. Time was all but a blur here. There were no visitors, no windows to track time. This was all by design.
The fuinjutsu seal hidden beneath her tongue would keep most all of the highly confidential secrets locked away, but there was a wealth of knowledge inside of her brain to pick apart should they be able to break in. The next encounters, she reminded herself, would only be increasingly worse.
X
Four pairs of eyes stared disbelievingly at the skeletal figure strapped to the hospital bed. No one could have predicted this outcome. Of course, when she was taken, there were months of searching for her body, all of which were fruitless endeavors. Whoever had her corpse had probably already dissected its secrets and destroyed all evidence of it. At least, that was the conclusion that was drawn.
"But… I saw her… there was no way." Kakashi's heart felt like it had shattered into a million pieces as he stared at the helpless figure in the bed.
Tsunade had switched into medic-mode, swiftly assessing the damages of her precious apprentice, eyes widening as her chakra probed the broken body.
Naruto stood as calmly as he could, though nothing would steady the anger in his heart. His knuckles were white as he clenched them at his side, teeth grating together. No, he wasn't mad at Kakashi, he was angry at the situation, of wanting to exact his revenge on the individuals responsible himself, though they'd long since been dispatched by ANBU.
The fourth individual stood in the shadows of a corner, quietly assessing the woman. This was Ibiki Morino, head of Torture and Interrogations. He had spearheaded her induction into elite ANBU ranks, trained her in all aspects of torture techniques, and had personally assigned her to her last assignment.
"Ibiki-san, thoughts?" Naruto disrupted the quiet man's ruminations.
"From her medical reports, it looks like old fashion Kiri interrogation techniques." He paused. "Though, this is my first time seeing someone still alive from the process." Naruto nodded, Tsunade still had her hands exploring the various wounds, minimizing as many scars as she could possibly treat.
"Recommendations." Naruto was in no mood for mincing words.
Ibiki hesitated. The woman before them was a friend to the current Hokage, apprentice to the former Hokage, and partner to the legendary Copy-Ninja; these were not people he wanted to piss off with his assessments. "She can't be trusted." He carefully avoided the glares boring into his forehead. "Inochi needs to be brought in to do a deep dive into her psyche. She'll need ANBU guards until we can assure she hasn't been compromised. The good news is that her Fūinjutsu seal is intact and still functioning so it's likely they never accessed top secret intel." He wanted to end on a slightly positive note for their sakes.
Naruto was not happy to hear the recs but he understood the necessity and had expected his advisor to advise the best course of action for the village, not his own personal feelings on the matter. He eyed Kakashi who had taken up residence in a chair pulled close to her bedside. His forehead was resting on a bony hand and Naruto thought he saw, for the briefest of moments, a tear.
"Ibiki, assign Genma and Raido to her detail. When she's cleared by Tsunade and the rest of the medical team, have Inoichi sent in to do her psyche evaluation." He was not optimistic in regards to that particular assessment. From the looks of her unconscious body, she had endured hell. Ibiki promptly disappeared from the room. "Tsunade, anything to add?"
Tsunade had many, many things to add but given the present company opted to give him a silent look that read 'talk later'. The medical report drawn up was far from completed and only took note of most of her external wounds, neglecting to report some of the internal trauma. Naruto nodded.
"Kakashi, go—"
"I'm staying here." The silver haired man strained out, his voice raspy and desperate. His onyx gaze never leaving the kunoichi's face.
Naruto raised a blonde eyebrow at the direct insubordination but he understood what Kakashi must be feeling. It was his partner, one he was forced to leave behind, something that tortured him every day since the incident. "Tsunade, stay with them until the ANBU team arrives and then report to me."
X
Metal grinding against metal caused the exhausted kunoichi to flinch awake, her eyelids barely able to flutter open. She was tired but Kami damn it if she was going to give them the satisfaction of her admitting this weakness. "Ah, my new toy has awoken." A disembodied voice snickered, no doubt a result from a genjutsu to put her off kilter.
"G'morning." She mumbled, trying to muster as much pep and sarcasm as she could in the words.
A dark chuckle resonated through the small stone cell. "Ya know, I like your spirit. It's always fun to watch the strong ones fall."
"Sorry to disappoint you then." Her throat burned. When was the last time she had anything to quench her thirst?
The grinding stopped and slow, methodical footsteps approached her and a hooded figure squatted down to her level, flashing her a toothy smile. "We'll see about that." His hand shot forward, faster than her eyes could track, though she caught the glint of a blade before it sliced through her shirt down the middle catching skin as it went. His calloused hand was coiled around her neck, squeezing slightly before trailing down through the valley of her breasts, tracing the cut he had just made.
Her body winced, though she tried desperately to contain the reaction, earning her a wicked grin. "See? Fun." He stripped away the rest of the shirt, eagerly slicing through the rest of her breast bindings. "Such a beautiful body. It's a shame really." Sakura's eyes closed, but her neck snapped to the side and her cheek stung. Did he just… slap her? "Keep your eyes open. I don't want you to miss a second of this."
She slowly turned her head back, fiery jade eyes watching his every move as he stood and walked back to a small metal tray that had been wheeled into the room. No doubt, she thought, more instruments of torture.
With his back to her, she couldn't tell what tool he was grabbing next but she knew this was another fear tactic. Ibiki had taught her many things but it was another thing completely to be on the receiving end of things.
The man turned slowly, likely to try to escalate the anxiety of the moment, an intraosseous drill in one hand and a syringe with a cloudy white substance in the other. The drill Sakura had recognized instantly from her years under Tsunade's tutelage. It was an effective, if not brutal, way of introducing a patient to medications via the bones. It whirred to life in his hand a few times, taunting her.
"Oh don't worry, my dear; this part is only going to hurt a lot." His maniacal cackle filled the chamber and Sakura chortled slightly at the cartoonish image of an evil mastermind. This, however, only fueled the man's rage. Several more men sauntered into the room, grabbing at her extremities, spreading her tightly on the ground as the drill honed in on her shin.
"Whoops!" The man cheered gleefully, intentionally missing the cartilage and digging it into her calf muscle. Sakura's lips pursed as she clenched her jaw tightly, only a hiss escaped as the drill was withdrawn before viciously beginning again and again, each time skimming the bone.
A scream escaped her and tears ran freely down her cheeks as the drill bit into the bone and a catheter was secured to the entrance wound. The syringe appeared now, her captor dangling it in front of her. "This, now this is my favorite part." He whispered into her ear before dragging the tip along her skin sending a scathing chill down her spine.
X
Sakura let out a soft whimper. She hadn't even known how long it had been since she had the energy to even make such a sound. Her fingers twitched across starch stiffened sheets and she winced when hands grabbed at hers. This only serves to further send pain ricocheting throughout her entire being. A low hiss escaped her lips; it had been a long time since she felt anything and now she feels everything.
"Sakura," A low timbre voice cut through the pain like a katana. "You're safe now. You're in Konoha."
Hm, that sounds like Kaka-senpai. She cracked open an eyelid and low and behold, a perfect replica of the man. Genjutsu. She thought, managing a snort. This was not the first time they had tried to lull her into this false sense of security and she was damned if she let this upgraded henge fuck with her. Her eyelids closed again and she turned her head away from the man at her side.
"I… I know you're probably so mad at me." Warm hands still encapsulated her own. "I know… I know you'll probably never forgive me. I don't know how to ever repay you." The man choked out.
Sakura let out a breath, controlling her reactions. She wouldn't let the enemy inside her mind. She had long since given up on the notion of rescue, resigned to a life of pain and misery. This short reprieve wouldn't last long, she was certain, and her captors would resort back to more inhumane techniques once more.
Even still, the husk of a man she once knew continued to talk, his thumb running gently over her knuckles. "I won't let anything bad happen to you."
Liar. The thought was venomous but she knew in her heart of hearts that this man was an imposter. The real Kakashi would never sit at her bedside looking and sounding like a wounded puppy. Unconsciousness would beckon her soon, ending this cruel dream and lulling her into another one. She was sure of that.
X
"Let's try this again." She had come to know them by their voices but not their names. This one was her main torturer, she nicknamed him 'Toothless', because when she got a hold of him, his perfectly straight rows of veneers were going to be smashed in. "Tell us about the Byakugan."
Sakura looked at him, the fire in her eyes dimmed with every day, but she wouldn't satisfy him with an answer. The injection they had given her was causing her heart to race in her chest and sweat to bead at her forehead. It was designed to enhance sensations, she realized, making it a formidable torture tool. She'd have to talk to Ibiki when, if, she got home about implementing it in the TI department.
Four other bodies crowded the cell, once more holding her down, though she hadn't had the strength to fight in weeks. They gave her just enough food and water to keep her alive, and not a scrap more. Expending more energy by fighting would only put her closer to certain death.
The tip of a senbon nestled its way beneath a toenail and she let out a blood curdling scream. She felt like she could feel every nerve individually and as suddenly as it was there, it was gone. The reprieve was short and she had many more digits to torment.
X
Screams ripped through the frigid air of the Hospital and instantly the ANBU guards were on high alert as their charge thrashed violently against her leather restraints. Kakashi was on his feet, having just barely drifted to sleep, his hands reflexively reaching for a kunai. Her eyes were still closed but her face was screwed up in what looked like excruciating pain. Nurses poured into the room, quickly sedating the kunoichi with a few powerful tranquilizers. Her screams turned hoarse and tears streamed down her cheeks. Though her mouth was moving, words didn't come out, but Kakashi didn't need to hear the words to know what she was saying.
Please, no! Stop! No!
Guilt gripped his heart, squeezing at the muscle until her screams died down and her body lay still.
Raido was the first to break the silence. "This is the fourth time she's had an episode."
Genma nodded his head, pursing his lips around a senbon that bobbed up and down. "Inoichi might be able to seal some things off once he's in there." His eyes wandered to Kakashi, who had barely slept in the four days since the kunoichi had gotten here. "Kakashi, you should go home and get some rest. You look like shit."
"No." His eyes never left the scarred face now resting soundly in the bed.
Genma just grunted in response and returned to his spot in a hard leather reclining chair. It was always eerie trying to sleep after one of these episodes, her blood curdling screams could easily put ones he's heard in the past to shame.
X
Every day was a little harder to maintain her sanity, and when the door opened and the metal tray rattled inside, she let her mind and body go blank. There was no point fighting the torture. It would happen regardless of what she did or said.
"Maa, Maa, Sakura-chan, stay with me." Toothless' voice beckoned and she lifted her empty gaze to look at the man. "Much better." He purred, drawing in closer to her naked body. "How about today, you and I get to know each other?" His rough calloused hand reached up to caress a scabbed and scarred cheek, fingers tracing the wounds.
Sakura fought a shudder. This was not the first time. Nor would it be the last. She would take one day at a time and lock it away inside her.
She felt hands drifting lower, still seeking out her wounds with fascinated fingers. He was a sadist, she was quick to learn from earlier experiences, and would relish in the pain he would bring her.
One day a time.
She winced at his intrusion.
One day at a time.
A tear fell down her cheek.
One day at a time.
X
Sakura awoke with a start, her upper body jolting forward, heart hammering away inside her chest. Sleep was when her brain would process and replay terrible things. She was suddenly aware of how much energy she had felt, how things didn't hurt as bad, how she was still restrained but these restraints were softer and allowed for more movement.
And then she was aware of the three sets of eyes cautiously watching her. Two of the three individuals' hands hovered over a weapons pouch.
"Sakura."
Hm, still going with the genjutsu I see. She mused.
"How are you feeling?" 'Kakashi' leaned forward as he posed his question but Sakura looked through him with a carefully constructed blank expression. "You were having nightmares last night."
Well that's nothing new. Sakura thought bitterly. She remembered the memory with vivid high-definition clarity. She turned her vacant gaze to the other two individuals in the room, vaguely remembering them, but not enough to recall any names. They were still tensed next to the door, hands still hovering steadily over their weapons pouch.
"Do you want water?" The silver-haired imposter asked softly, hands already bringing a cup to her face. Emerald eyes flickered down, suspicion and resignation in her eyes. He coaxed the cup to her lips, allowing her to sip at the iced liquid. She sputtered slightly as too much water flowed into her throat and she gasped slightly for air before calming her breathing. "Sorry. I went too fast." The cup was gone, not that she cared. Even a sip of cold water was better than no water at all.
Sakura leaned back into the bed, noting idly that she could actually see the pink of her hair as it splayed out around her. That was a new tactic. Maybe if they'd let her shower earlier on, she'd have let slip some secrets. She snorted at herself. She'd have probably still refused to talk, but this cleanliness was a welcome change even if it was a fictionalized reality.
With her strength and wits rapidly returning to her, she had wanted to snap out a snarky response but it'd been a long time since she'd been able to speak. As a result from an errant torture session, her vocal cords had been partially severed and as a result, it was like she had a permanent sore throat, one that was exponentially more painful with vocalizations.
She lifted a bony hand, pressing her thumb and index finger together and bobbed it up and down slightly. It took a moment for the men to understand but soon she had a pencil and pad of paper in her hands.
They waited patiently as her hands shook and she furrowed her brow in concentration as the lead scratched against the parchment. Gingerly, she set the pencil down and rested her head back on the pillow with closed eyes. It seemed even these small movements were still taxing on her.
Kakashi leaned forward, curious to what she would write.
'Just kill me'
Author's Note: It's strange to say I hope you enjoyed this chapter, but I hope you appreciate (?) the path this story is going to take. As the story progresses there will be more flashbacks detailing some of her experiences and I hope that I can adequately capture the emotional and physical toll that trauma takes. I'll be taking some time between this chapter and the next to do more research into PTSD, trauma, and recovery.
Until next time,
Agastopian
