Author's Note: Thank you everyone for your patience! I've been writing and rewriting and I have alternate drafts for multiple chapters now because I'm just not quite satisfied with the way things were turning out but I think I've fleshed it out decently. Again, I'd love to know what you think and if you have any concerns or recognize any mistakes! I'm working hard to try to increase the lengths of my chapters but I seem to find myself naturally ending closer to 2,500 words but I'll try to make it up to you with a thoughtful and purposeful plotline!

WARNING: DESCRIPTIONS OF TORTURE, HINTS AT RAPE, PTSD, DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. RATED M FOR A REASON.

TRIGGER WARNING

X

Kakashi may not have been privy to the details of her torture, but he was no idiot. He had seen the scars strewn across her skin, the terror in her face when she'd awaken, and how she withered under expectant touches. Whilst he was a captive once or twice before himself, there was a stark difference between the torture a kunoichi goes through versus their male counterpart.

Mismatched eyes watched her carefully as she gazed out the hospital window seemingly unaware of his gaze. Her frame was beginning to fill out, muscles beginning to take shape beneath her discolored skin and her bones were slowly disappearing from view. She still moved with the grace that all kunoichi seemed to possess but her movements all seemed more demure and weary than previous, like she was constantly expecting an attack. She turned her head slightly to the side, catching his gaze and gave him a quizzical glance, before continuing her watch.

He was acutely aware of how simple and yet profound this action was, in complete contrast to the shell shocked woman from several weeks ago. Her ever-present mask of indifference would slip occasionally and a small emotion would shine through, though not for long. He could only assume it was a defense mechanism, though not a very good one. One day, the mask would shatter as it had that day in the woods leaving her in pieces.

Kakashi watched the fabric of the cotton gown rustle slightly, the back, though tied, peeked open revealing some of the burns up and down her spine. He vaguely could make out the omega symbol permanently affixed to her skin. She must have felt the breeze because a hand slipped back and pulled it closed again. It was painfully obvious she was uncomfortable with the amount of skin showing and he could practically feel the anxiousness that radiated from her.

Briefly, he thought about getting her new clothes, seeing as how all of her worldly possessions were discarded after her 'death'. A small price to pay for his missteps in life.

"Oye, do you think you could liven up this watch detail? Make a break for it or punch someone, something." Genma whined, pacing the room while his partner Raido rolled his eyes.

The kunoichi sent an intentionally empty look at the special jonin before dropping back into her bed, the slight tremor in her legs the only hint to the reasoning behind her sudden change of position. Seems her muscles weren't quite used to the strain of movement yet.

He knew for a fact that her progress was severely stalled at this point. As far as he could tell, Inoichi hadn't been doing his mind transfer jutsu; he'd be able to feel the subtle chakra spikes from his spot outside the door, and judging from the relative silence on the other side of it, they did little more than ask questions or make statements and get nothing in response.

On some sick level, he was almost glad that her silence extended to everyone and not just himself.

The kunoichi slunk back into her bed, thin sheets pulling up over her thin frame. Her eyes closed, her breathing intentionally level, which was odd because on first glance, one would assume she was sleeping but judging from her heart rate on the monitor, she was wide away.

Would it be strange for him to say he had memorized her resting and awake vitals? Probably, but at least this way he could accurately tell if she was getting enough rest.

He only wished he could understand exactly what she was doing. Meditating?

X

The quivering of her calf and thigh muscles was the first indicator she'd been standing there for far longer than was particularly acceptable. That and the unwavering gaze of her former sensei's eyes glued to her back, literally, seeing as how the chill slipped up her back, creating a zinging sensation through the tender brand marks. Her hand crept over her shoulder, pulling the fabric closed in the back.

Had it not been for the sheer exhaustion of her meager ten minutes of silent observation, she'd have stayed there just to avoid whatever pity she could read in the room. But alas, she knew her limits and she turned to slip into her sheets.

Sakura closed her emerald eyes, finding nothing particularly interesting to keep her gaze. Dancing blurry white ink blots behind her eyelids faded away slowly as she worked to concentrate her breathing to an even ten breaths per minute, optimum breathing rate for slipping seamlessly into her mindscape. In the pitch darkness, the seared landscape sprouted up around her and a presence appeared at her side. Inner was waiting for her.

"You've been silent up top there." Her Inner noted turning to face herself head on, though she didn't turn in to look at her other self.

"There's nothing that needs to be said." She shrugged, adopting the moment of silence and intentionally not casting a gaze at herself. It was difficult to be face to face with your face, especially when it was so disfigured. She wasn't disgusted with herself, per se, it was that seeing the evidence of her life for the past year made it real. And that was not something she was feeling inclined to accept anytime soon.

"Ah, but you want to stay something. You can't lie to me."

Sakura didn't respond for a moment. "It doesn't matter what I want." She let her gaze drift over the dusky field. Inner's candor was both appreciated and at the same time wholly unwelcome.

"Hm, then why come to me?"

In truth, Sakura had no idea why she had come to this place again. Perhaps she was just so accustomed to her own company in the time she had been captured. Sakura shrugged and set the pace for a slow walk.

"Nostalgia, huh?"

"Maybe." Sakura conceded. The two continued to meander, the same scene repeating itself over and over again no matter how far or in which direction they walked. She found it oddly comforting to just walk with someone else even if in silence and even if that person was in fact herself.

Here, the mask could slip, the emotions boil and broil in the relative safety of herself. It's part of what had most unnerved the pair of them in regards to the intrusion of someone else. She frowned to herself. Either she talked, and she found out the true extent of her vocal cord damage, or she let the Yamanaka poke around. Neither of those two options were very appealing, though she vaguely pondered the idea of simply writing her own memory diary of sorts.

At some point, the oddly comforting scenery faded to black, Inner murmured a soft good night and unconsciousness took her.

X

Heavy lids peeled upward at the groan on the metal door opening. The ache of her disjointed shoulders jolting through her with her newfound consciousness.

A dark chuckle reverberated off the walls, sinking deep in the pit of her chest. "My blossom, what are we going to do with you?" A pregnant pause filled the room, the only sound her labored breathing. Metal scraped across the stone floor and then stopped, a chair coming to rest in front of her. "You know, I honestly thought you were gonna break a long time ago." Rough hands scrapped across her cheek before grabbing her chin to direct her face up at him. "Women have so many weaknesses to exploit though. It's not your fault. It's biological."

His offensive breath brushed over her face. Had she the energy, she'd have grimaced. Lips skimmed over the shell of her ear, hot air caressing her neck. "Do you want to know women's greatest weakness?" He paused as if she was going to fill in the blanks. "Babies, don't you think?" He muttered, letting the simplicity of his words drive his unsaid threat. His hands dropped to his lap, leaning back into his seat as if having a casual chat with a friend. He waited for a moment for her to relent her silence. "I bet you would've made a great mother." The man rose from his seat, nodding to his shadow partner.

He could have goaded her more into speaking but it no longer was about mere information. It was the principle of the matter now. A sense of pride in one's work. No, this simple kunoichi would not get the best of him and his talents. Slowly bending her mind until it was slowly splinter and then one final little push to shatter her sanity.

The shadow man moved forward, a weapon unsheathed and without another word, the weapon buried itself into her lower abdomen near the near Hoarse screams echoed through the room, haunting the hallways before turning into heavy panting sobs. The blade twisted, maximizing internal damages before recoiling abruptly. Her body trembled, skin paling as crimson streaked down her sex, trailing down her legs.

"We'll break you, Blossom. It might not be today. Or tomorrow. But we'll get you to talk, one way or another."

X

Sakura's body bolted upright, her breath coming out in strangled gasps as the memory suffocated her. A thin sheen of sweat blanketed her imperfect skin, saturating the bedding and her thin hospital gown. Her rampant heart beat slowed as her senses came back to her. The vividness of her memories with a distinct blur along the edges was like reliving it except the important details were smudge. Thin fingers ghosted across the evidence of her suffering, acutely aware of the twisting pain deep in her chest.

She carefully schooled her features, ignoring the looks of her two wardens as she blinked back tears that had formed in her fitful sleep. She wanted to sink under the sheets, but that alone would be a sign of weakness so she willed her body to relax back into the damp sheets, her eyes sliding shut, though she wouldn't be going to sleep.

"Yo." Sakura flinched unwillingly. Even with all of her senses engaged, she hadn't even detected his arrival. Intentionally leaving her eyes closed, she gave a small nod in greeting. She heard something rustling over top of her sheets and brush against her fingertips, digits twitching at the contact. "I thought we'd try for an outdoor excursion today." At that, the kunoichi opened her full jade eyes and a single eyebrow arched up in skepticism. "I thought you might like this better than wearing a hospital sheet outside."

Outside?

Genma and Raido were genuinely surprised at this, at least, that's the impression they gave as they shared a pointed look. Sakura's eyes never drifted from the single onyx orb as she slipped a hand inside the paper bag he'd placed at her side. The pads of her fingers skimmed lightly over a smooth cottony surface. Gingerly grabbing it, she pulled it out, now dropping her gaze to the material sprawled out on her lap: a black woman's cloak.

"I have a wheelchair ready so, uh, whenever you're ready." He stood there awkwardly, running his hands through his hair sheepishly. Shopping for women's clothes was hard enough and for some reason, he cared more for her opinion of his choices than other people. Emerald eyes glanced back up at him, her fingers knotted in the cloth. Did he detect some kind of emotion behind those mossy orbs?

Sakura gave a soft nod, briefly wondering where outside would be. She was fairly certain that, unless they had some S-rank genjutsu specialist, this was not an illusion of enemy creation; so why was she finding it so hard to trust those around her? They were her precious people.

Precious people that all left you at some point. The bitter thought flashed through her mind but she pushed it to the corner of her thoughts to sort out later. She gingerly swung her legs over the edge of the bed, letting her toes sweep along the cold cemented floor before lowering the pads of her feet to the ground. Being newer blemishes, the scars along the soles of her feet sent a tingling sensation shooting up her spine.

She pulled the coat over her grown, the baggy black fabric fell shapelessly over her frame, ending abruptly at her knees, her gown just being slightly longer. The collar was high enough to cover her neck and throat and if she lowered her head slightly it would obscure her lips. How Kakashi.

"It's got a hood too… if you, you know, don't want…" He trailed off pointing to his own hair. Sakura pulled the hood over her face, enjoying the newfound anonymity before carefully padded across the cold hospital flooring on the balls of her feet and taking her seat in the wheelchair that was placed outside her door.

Tension coiled in her shoulders as Kakashi hunched down to push the wheelchair, his breath fanning into the roots of her head. She shuddered. "Cold?" The pinkette shook her head, twisting her own fingers into tight fists, her nails digging into her fleshy palm.

If Kakashi noticed her unease, he didn't comment on it and instead began steering the chair to the elevator. She turned her head and narrowed her eyes in a silent question. They were on the first floor of the hospital, there was no need for an elevator unless they were going…

Up? She mused to herself. Probably smart. Limits escape routes.

The silver doors slid shut enveloping them in the confined space and Kakashi respectfully took a step back and into a corner to negate some of her anxiety. She must have missed him pressing a button because the machine lurched and began ascending higher into the building until it slowed to a stop. The doors opened and a breeze instantly shifted into the space, dancing through roseate strands and assaulting her senses. She slid her hood down, inhaling deeply through her nose, eyes shutting momentarily.

Sakura felt Kakashi's presence immediately behind her and her eyes snapped back open, the moment of peace and freedom easily gone with the dying wind.

"It's peaceful up here." Kakashi muttered, pushing her out onto the flat roof that had the remnants of a forgotten meditation garden. He locked the chair in place in the middle of it before moving to take a seat on a moss covered bench, his elbows resting on his knees, hands dangling uselessly in front of him. Sakura remained silent in her spot, letting the warmth from the sun radiate through her. "I come here a lot. To escape." He paused as if she was going to provide a comment but she didn't, instead watching him intently. "Ironic, since I avoid the inside of the hospital like the plague." He chuckled softly to himself.

"Sakura-chan? Tsunade says your vocal cords were repaired, but you still haven't talked. Can I ask why?" Sakura's gaze seemed to have shifted from looking at him, to through him, her eyes as unreadable as ever.

As if coming out of a trance, her gaze refocused on his visible eye. She contemplated not answering him. It certainly would be easy to do but her silence wasn't earning her freedom anytime soon either. Resigned, she brought her hands up, palm down and shook them slightly. Nervous.

"For?" He was trying to encourage communication; it was something Dr. Riku had taught him that might be beneficial for her growth. And he was determined to do what he could to help her.

Sakura sighed, obviously annoyed with this topic and mode of conversation. She had hoped this would be something he would drop, not try to drag out. It was tedious. Nonetheless she continued signing. One index finger tapped her ear before pulling away and spreading all her digits. Sound. Her index fingers crossed before pulling off in different directions. Different. After a moment, she brought her hands up again pressing her fingers together twice and twisting slightly. Pain.

"Ah but have you tried yet?"

Her head shook, roseate locks brushing delicately over her shoulders.

"Then how would you know if you sound different?" Sakura released an irritated exhale and she rolled her eyes as if that was the stupidest question she'd heard. "Just saying!" He pulled up his hands in mock surrender before bringing them back to hang limply.

Kakashi let the conversation slide, as Sakura seemed to be almost content to let the fading sun wash over her anemic features. He almost missed the small upward curve of her lips.

He liked to think it was because of him.

X

Author's Note: Okay so I actually kind of love this chapter for many reasons.

~Kakashi I've always felt in the anime to be emotionally lacking in depth and I'm not sure if this depth he has in this narrative is or would be accurate but it's how I'd imagine he'd feel and act after seeing a lost comrade returned. Determined to help, to make up for the guilt he's plagued with.

~Personally, I've always found being outside and in the breeze to be freeing, physically and mentally, so I thought I'd translate that into this story by allowing it to be the means for which Kakashi and Sakura begin to spend time together.

~I love the use of sign language by Sakura's character. You might go, well how would Kakashi know what she's saying? I imagine during times of silent infiltration hand signs would be the easiest to read so naturally sign language would be universally known in the Naruverse.

~Also, I don't actually know sign language so I'm trying to learn as I go to give the most accurate representations of the gestures and I've obviously provided you with the meaning as well for fluidity.