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A lot of dialogue in this chapter.
Thank you once again for coming back.
Poor girl, what a waste of a life, she must be no older than 20 years old. What possesses these young girls to be drug traffickers for gangs? I know they get money but is money really worth this? This girl has had her life ended in some awful motel with her belly cut open in a bath tub; they took the drugs and just left her here to die like an animal. I hope for her sake she died quickly because this is not a way to go. We haven't been able to find any ID on her but she looks Mexican so she might have been flown into America, if so we can track her through the airport. I hope there is someone looking for her.
She is the third girl we have found in 3 days and all 3 girls follow a pattern; found in tubs at nasty old motels with their belly's cut open, no ID and so far none of them are reported as missing. We're not getting anywhere on this right now. We've spent days looking at camera and POD footage but whoever the drug dealers are, they're good and have avoided everything so far. Voight is losing patience and wants something solid by the end of the day.
"What makes them do it?" Hailey asked as the two of us left the motel room.
"Money" I shrugged "Makes the world go round" I added.
"This isn't worth the money" She stated.
"My thoughts exactly" I sighed.
I was about to get into Adam's Jeep when something caught the corner of my eye. I turned and looked to where a crowd had formed behind the police tape, wanting to get a look at what was going on. I scanned the crowd and my heart dropped into my stomach and I felt nauseas. Rick. Did he follow me here to a crime scene? I just stood there and stared at him for a moment, he stared back, he didn't make any gesture or smile or anything but just stared at me.
Before I could stop them, my feet started walking towards the crowd and towards Rick. I was going to warn him to stay the hell away from me. A patrol officer walked in front of me and when he passed, Rick was gone. I scanned the crowd again but I didn't see him. I looked up and down the street but he wasn't there.
Was I imagining this? Am I going crazy? Was he even here? Please don't say that I'm beginning to spin out. I can't do that.
"Kim!"
I turned back to Adam who was waiting for me. I looked back at the crowd one more time and looked for Rick but he definitely wasn't there. I shook my head and headed back to Adam's Jeep.
"You good?" He asked as we got into the car.
"Yeah, I thought I saw someone I knew at the tape" I replied.
"I've been worried about you for a few days now – are you sure you're ok?" He asked with a voice full of concern and worry, he pulled away from the crime scene and started heading back to the 21st.
I nodded "Yeah, I'm fine" I answered but I knew he didn't believe me and he's going to keep pressing "I guess I haven't been sleeping well, I'm just really exhausted if I'm honest" I told him.
"It's hard getting used to sleeping on your own again" He commented.
I looked over at Adam. He looked broken, for lack of a better word, he was still dealing with our break up and I was too but this thing with Rick, it has taken over my emotions a little bit.
"It's scary sleeping in an apartment by myself again. Being with you made me feel safe and secure. I guess I just have to learn to be on my own again" I replied.
"I got to be honest, I'm struggling with that Kim" He sighed "I don't do well on my own. I never have. It's probably why I've been engaged so many times" He let out a small chuckle and I joined in, for his benefit "I don't like being without you. I hate going back to my empty apartment every night, it feels cold and lonely and I'm scared that I'm going to end up like my dad – alone" He explained.
"Adam you are not going to end up alone" I told him as I touched his arm lightly "I feel the same as you, I hate not being with you anymore. I don't like being on my own and going home to an empty apartment. Right now, being alone is scary and I can't sleep because I keep thinking; what if someone breaks in whilst I'm asleep? We see and hear about violent home invasions all the time, I don't know if I'd be to fight someone like that off on my own" I stopped talking before I said too much.
I'm not completely lying to Adam. I am scared to be alone right now and I do fear someone breaking in, mainly Rick, if he was to break into my apartment in the middle of the night and do something to me, it would be hours before someone noticed. It's a scary thought.
"If you ever want me to come over or anything, just say the word. I can sleep on the couch or something if you need me to" He told me.
"I'll be ok, just need to feel safe on my own" I answered.
Adam pulled into his parking space and we got out of the car and walked in together. Trudy watched us walk in together and I could see that her brain was ticking away with trying to figure out 'what it meant'. Adam opened the gate and let me go in first; he followed me up the stairs.
"Burgess, in here" Voight said from the doorway of his office. I instantly became scared. He's not sending me back to patrol is he? I walked into his office and he closed the door behind us "Take a seat" He said and indicated to one of the chairs.
I sat down and felt my hands become sweaty. There was a folder open on his desk, it was my folder, it had my picture clipped to the corner and everything about me was in that folder.
"Everything ok Sarge?" I asked nervously.
"I got a call from the Warden over at Statesville, he's a friend of mine" He started and I sucked in a deep breath "Said he hadn't heard from you and he wanted to make sure you got the notification about Rick Giles" I cringed at the name being said out loud "The name stuck out to me so I did some checking in your personnel folder and remembered what had happened to you when you were nineteen" He pushed the folder towards me but I didn't want to look at it "When I offered you a job on my team, I did thorough background checks before giving you the job. I know about everything and I'm concerned that you didn't tell me about Rick's release" He finished.
"No one here knows Sarge" I told him.
"As your boss, it's down to me to keep you safe. I can't keep you safe if you don't fill me in on these things" He argued.
"There isn't anything to tell" I said.
"Rick hasn't tried to contact you?" He asked.
"No"
I know I shouldn't lie to Voight because he's right, as my boss, it is his job to keep me safe but I just don't like speaking about this or reliving it. Rick hasn't done anything but write me a letter. I've ignored it and I haven't heard anything else from him. Maybe after all those years in prison he finally got the message that I don't want to be with him and I don't want anything to do with him.
"If he does show up Kim, I want you tell me" Voight said and I nodded "I saw the crime photos and what he did to you. It must have been a scary thing but you're not alone, we're all here if you ever need help"
I looked down at the folder and saw the crime scene photos of the night Rick was arrested, after he had broke into my apartment with a kitchen knife. I had marks around my neck where he tried to strangle me. I had bruises all over my arms, a black eye, a split lip and a head wound that left blood trickling down my face. I looked awful.
"If I hear from him, I'll tell you" I said.
"Ok then"
I got up from the chair and rushed out of the office and went straight to my desk. I heard Adam trying to get my attention but I ignored it and pretended I couldn't hear him.
We all know how hot headed Adam is and if he knew about Rick, what happened and that he wrote to me at my new address; Adam would go off the deep end and start a one man hunt for him until he found him and I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want Adam to get into trouble because of someone like Rick so it's best to keep Adam out of it.
One of the many reasons I fell in love with Adam was because of his loyalty. He is loyal, sometimes to a fault, but he will lay down his life for those he cares about and I have no doubt that he would kill and/or die for me. If I told him about Rick, he wouldn't leave my side and would insist on moving in with me and right now, that's not a good thing. We're both trying to get over our break up and figure out where we stand with each other, friendship wise.
"You want some coffee?" Hailey asked kindly.
"Sure" I replied.
I got up from my desk and followed Hailey into the break and we started making our coffees.
"I know I haven't known you as long as the others have but I do know you well enough to know that there is something going on with you. I'm not going to ask what it is, obviously you don't want to talk about it, but if you do need to vent or want some advice or help with anything then all you have to do is ask and I will be there, no questions asked" She told me.
"Thank you" I put my coffee down and checked around to make sure the others can't hear me "I'm probably over reacting but someone from my past has come back recently, it's someone I never thought I'd see again and I just don't know how to deal with it" I explained.
"Ok, is it someone that you hoped to never see again?" She guessed and I nodded "Are you in danger?" She asked seriously and full of worry.
"I don't think so but its messing with my head" I answered.
"I can come and stay with you tonight if you want, keep you company... or you can come and stay at my place, I've got a spare room" She offered.
I don't want Rick to possibly follow me and get Hailey's address and I don't want to drag Hailey into this.
"Thank you but I'll be fine. Like I said I'm probably just over reacting" I told her "I have to learn to be on my own again" I added.
"It's hard dealing with a break up as well. You must have had a sense of security with Adam and now you're in this apartment that feels bigger than it did before and you're all alone, sometimes you feel like your drowning in it" She guessed.
"Yes" I agreed – finally, someone who knew what I was talking about.
"It will get better and if you ever need me to stay the night, check your door is bolted or help then just call me... anytime" I surprised myself and Hailey but giving her a hug. She hugged me back "It's ok" She whispered, I think she knew how scared I really was without me having to say it.
