Asgard, in all its starry peacefulness. Thor, in all his thunderous frogginess. Is that even a word?
It is common knowledge that Loki hates Thor. He always wanted to find a way to beat him at anything, or even kill him. He went to extreme lengths to do so; he turned into a snake at one point and an alligator another time. Additionally, he almost gave Thor's life to Thanos. But those were in other timelines.
In this one, Loki thought it would be fun to play a prank on Thor, to make Thor suffer. That's all he ever wanted, right?
One night, while Thor was sleeping and unsuspecting, Loki snuck into Thor's bedroom, dark magic swirling in his veins. Using his sorcery, he struck Thor, turning his brother into a frog, believing it to be funny.
The specific spell he used would make Thor turn back into an Asgardian after a few days. Loki informed Thor of this, but all Thor could do was hop in his anger.
Anger wasn't just in Thor's mind. It was also in Odin's, who believed a punishment was in line for the mischievous trickster. He banished Loki to another realm for a year, seeing it as a fitting punishment for his crimes.
A few days passed, yet Thor remained in his froggy state. He adapted quickly, though. He learned how to grab flies from the air to eat, and how to appreciate how they settled on his frog stomach. He learned how to hop everywhere, because that was the fastest mode of transportation.
A small chip off of a weapon forged at Nidavellir provided him with a makeshift weapon to wield in battle. In fact, he was able to vanquish a few enemies alongside the Warriors Three and Lady Sif, but not nearly as efficiently as he otherwise could.
Someone called on by Odin fashioned a cape, outfit, and helmet for Thor (the same person who made clothes in vain for Alligator Loki), based off of what he would wear into battle as an Asgardian. Thor was happy to have something with him that resembled his life before Loki's cruel trick.
After a month as a frog, Thor began to panic. He could only talk in ribbits and croaks, but the worry in his tone was evident to Odin. The wise king summoned Loki back, intent on making Loki restore Thor to his original state.
"What if I say no?" Loki asks Odin. "I mean, this is pretty funny."
"Then I will turn you into a fly," Odin threatens. "It has been a month, yet Thor remains a frog."
"So he does," Loki muses. "But fine, I will restore him. I need to take him with me to the library, though, so I can have the books with me to do this."
"I will go with you," Odin declares.
Frog Thor, Loki, and Odin go to the library, where Loki nervously flips through pages, hoping to find a reverse spell. It was supposed to wear off a while ago, making Loki nervous that the effects are permanent.
"Well?" Odin presses. "Will you turn him back?"
"I, uh…" Loki stalls, "... can't find the reverse spell. Yet. Just give me a minute."
"You are running out of minutes," Odin says.
To Thor, there are no minutes left. His impatience and his impulses make him jump at Loki, hopping into his mouth and throwing up fly matter, kicking it down Loki's throat. As Loki quickly throws Thor out, spitting out any frog or fly that might have touched his tongue, Thor waits patiently. Within a few moments, Loki starts to swoon, then faints altogether.
Odin scrambles a medical team together, but after a few minutes, Loki dies from poisoning. Thor watches from the shadows in fiery anger.
As Loki's body gives out in another room, a window in space opens in the library a few feet in front of Thor. Through it comes a woman, clad in a black suit with armor and a helmet. Behind her are two others: a man dressed like her and a man in a suit-and-tie, sporting a mustache.
Thor is confused.
"Thor Odinson," the woman declares, "On behalf of the Time Variance Authority, I hereby arrest you for crimes against the Sacred Timeline."
Thor leaps at the armored woman. She catches him and puts him in a jar (held by the armored man) with the label "T3654."
"Nice going, B-15," the mustached man compliments. "Our first Thor."
"Finally, we have a Thor to go with your Lokis, Mobius," Hunter B-15 replies.
They walk through the window and into the lobby of an office building, the window closing behind them. B-15 takes the jar with Thor in it to a room with a desk. On that desk is a stack of papers. Behind that stack is a man, who asks Thor to confirm that the contents of the paper contain every word he's ever said. B-15 takes Thor out, presses one of his feet against an inkpad, and makes him put his footprint on the top piece of paper as a signature.
Next, B-15 takes Thor to what looks like a metal detector from Earth. The man manning the station asks Thor if he has a soul. TB-15 walks through the apparatus with Thor as a snapshot flashes light.
Next, she takes Thor to a room with a winding line. She opens the jar just wide enough to slip a ticket in it. She takes Thor to the front of the line, where they are directed to go to a courtroom. B-15 puts Thor down on the podium at the front of the room before the judge's seat, claimed by Ravonna Renslayer, who is looking over some papers. The papers tell her that Thor's nexus event was killing Loki. In the Sacred Timeline, Thor is transformed into a frog, but is restored, and he never kills Loki.
"Odinson," Judge Renslayer proclaims, "Variant L1032, AKA Thor Odinson, is charged with sequence violation 7-88-99." She looks up from the papers and asks, "How do you plead?"
Thor ribbits, trying to ask what exactly is going on.
"It's the alligator all over again," Renslayer sighs. "We can speak spoken languages by *humans*, but not animals. Prune him."
A pruning stick touches the jar, vaporizing it with Thor inside.
Thor wakes up, still as a frog in the jar, in a mud puddle, not far from some abandoned, rundown, and dilapidated buildings from modern-era Earth.
"Check that out!" Someone exclaims, picking up the jar and looking inside it. The person is a preteen, and he laughs. "Oh, Thor, I remember plotting this for some time.
"Hey, Gator! Come check this out!"
An alligator with Loki's horns on his head crawls up. The preteen, who is also wearing Loki horns, sets the jar in front of the gator. He is Kid Loki. To taunt Thor, the alligator— Alligator Loki— snaps his snout at Thor a few times, even delicately picking up the jar and shaking it a few times.
"Loki, stop!" Kid Loki exclaims. "You don't want to KILL him! Let's just… keep him as a trophy. Stick him in the mud outside our bunker. This will be hilarious."
