A man wearing a grey T-shirt, a pair of dark jeans, and a red baseball cap, embroidered with a purple logo depicting a sinister robotic face, slumps against a large tree on the edge of a forest. "Wake up." a voice called to him. He gets up and stretches before being greeted by a face on the trunk. He turns his hat backwards, revealing his rough face, with a long nose, stubble on his chin, and brown neck-length hair flowing in the wind. "Morning." the man greeted the tree.
"Seven o'clock, Guy. That means work." the tree told the man. "Thanks for waking me up." Guy said as he grabs a backpack hanging from a noose. "I got breakfast for ya, too." the tree said as he looked to an apple on one of its branches. He grabs the apple and puts on his backpack. "Laters." Guy waves to the tree as he walks away.
"Have a great day, roomie!" the tree waved back with a lower branch. Guy arrives the Candy Kingdom where he is welcomed into the gates. He goes to a music store named "So Und Depot" and clocks in. He finds nobody in the back, nor the front. He opens a box labelled "NEW ARRIVAL" and opens it, revealing M.I.D.I. keyboards.
He sets up the keyboard in the stock room and calibrates the settings. He takes a deep breath as his fingers hover over the keys. He strikes his fingers firmly on the keys and begins to play synth chords that echoes throughout the room. He plays with the passion and intensity of a real musician, ignoring his surroundings as the keyboard is his reality. He's about to get to the good part when a bready hand pulls the plug.
"That's enough outta you, Kavinsky." a Sassy Person in a lab coat told Guy. "Morning, Basil." Guy greeted the Sassy Person. "Like 'em, Guy? Fresh from the assembly line, calibrated to perfection." Basil said as he swipes his hands over the keyboard's shell. "Works like a dream." Guy commented. "I need you to stock 'em on display. The kids're gonna love 'em." Basil told him.
He takes a keyboard box and displays them near the window. As he opens a stand, he sees a pair of floating legs walking past the window outside. As the door's chime rings, Marceline and Keila enter the shop with a stack of papers. Marceline is wearing a construction hat with a face shield, yellow arm gloves, a brown U-neck T-shirt, a pair of jeans, and leather boots. Keila is wearing a wide-brim summer hat, a red-and-black-striped sweater, a pair of black pants, and white boots, all borrowed from Marceline.
"You really think auditions work? I just call up peeps I know and ask them to join." Marceline asked Keila uncertainly. "If you wanna meet new people for a band, set up auditions." Keila explained. "It just feels… bureaucratic." Marceline added. "Marceline, what a surprise! How may I help you?" Basil asked as he approaches them. "We're putting up these audition posters for our band!" Keila answered.
"Oh be my guest! It's always a pleasure to help burgeoning musicians reach to the top." Basil approved. "She's burgeoning, I'm at critical mass." Marceline said as she gives Keila a playful noogie. "A band…" Guy muttered. When the vampires turn around to leave the shop, Keila locks her eyes on Guy as she and Marceline float out of the shop. After they leave, Basil approaches him with a small stack of flyers.
"The Vampire Queen herself came by. That's a rare sight, almost an honour." Basil commented. Guy takes one of the flyers from Basil and reads it. "You thinking of going for that audition?" Basil asked. "Well…" Guy said hesitantly before Basil puts his hand on his shoulder. "Go for it, man. You've got great musical talent, I've seen it. Your future isn't inventory stocking, but something greater." Basil encouraged.
"What if I don't make the cut?" Guy asked. "I know you'll make the cut, and soon you'll be making your own music with other musical fellows." Basil responded. "Thanks, Base." Guy said. "Now, let's get back to work, shall we? You've still got ten hours on your shift." Basil said before carrying the flyers to the checkout counter. Guy looks at the flyer, illustrated with an album cover art of Marceline, an address of her cottage, and the heading reading "TO THE MISFITS AND SORE THUMBS OF OOO!".
After closing time, Guy clocks out and puts on his backpack. "If you're going to an audition, you need an instrument." Basil said. Guy turns around and sees Basil presenting him a keyboard in a carrying case. "Base, I dunno what to say." Guy said in awe. "I'm giving this to you on one condition: knock 'em dead." Basil said as he hands him the keyboard.
"Base… thank you." Guy said in surprise. "Whatever happens, it's all yours." Basil told Guy. "Hey, Base… you've been a great friend. Thanks for everything." Guy told Basil sincerely before leaving. Basil watches through the glass doors as Guy leaves. "I'm gonna miss him." Basil said before putting up a "HELP WANTED" sign.
Guy travels to Marceline's cave at sunset and sees a line of people at the mouth of the cave. He sees skeletons keeping the line in shape, as well as more repairing the house. There are people from all over Ooo lining up: Fire People, Tiny Mammals, a couple Lemon Children, almost all of them with keyboards. "Huh, guess everyone's into keyboards." Guy said to himself as he joins the back of the line behind a Mudscamp with a harmonica. "Primus, I feel like a poser." Guy said to himself.
Marceline and Keila boredly slouch on the couch as a green gumdrop leaves dejected, carrying his keyboard overhead. "Auditions were a horrible idea. We've gotten nothing but posers." Keila commented blankly. "It's your idea." Marceline added. Marceline grabs a megaphone and yells "Next!". A Rock Person enters with yet another keyboard.
From outside, the auditioners witness the rock person being thrown through the wall and into the lake. "Next! And don't dare bring another keyboard!" Marceline yelled at an even more aggressive tone. Hearing this, everyone with a keyboard rushes out to leave, except for Guy, leaving only him and the Mudscamp. "Guess I'm next. Wish me luck, stranger." the Mudscamp said to Guy before trotting to the front door. Guy looks down to his keyboard case, rethinking whether or not to go through with this.
Later, the Mudscamp just finished her performance, awarded by bored claps by Marceline and Keila. "Did you practice that in prison?" Marceline asked sarcastically. "Yes." The Mudscamp answered bluntly. "Ooh, we got a jailbird! This is gonna be interesting." Keila said excitedly. "So, what're you in for?" Marceline asked in interest.
"I'd rather not share my experiences. I'm trying to move past that." the Mudscamp answered. "Anything else about your life you'd like to share." Keila asked. "I'd rather not." The Mudscamp answered. "*SIGH* Thanks for coming. We'll have our people call your people." Marceline said, sliding back into a bored state. "I still remember those screams." the Mudscamp said ominously as she leaves.
"This was a total bust. Let's just shut this down." Marceline suggested when they hear a knock on the door. A skeleton peek into the house with a clipboard. "You got one last auditioner. Should I bring him in?" the skeleton asked. "Hey, just one more won't hurt." Keila suggested. "Fine, but only to get this over with." Marceline groaned.
Guy opens the door and peeks inside. Keila immediately recognizes him from the store and sits up. "Hi, I'm Guy." Guy introduces himself as he walks in, revealing his keyboard case on his back. "What did I just say about keyboards?!" Marceline screeched as her eyes glow red. "Hey, hey, I think we should give him a chance. The fact he even came in shows he got guts. Plus, I think he's hot" Keila said.
"I know everyone else brought keyboards, but this is something I'm genuinely passionate about." Guy said as he sets up his advanced keyboard before the hole in the wall. "That's what everyone else said." Marceline boredly commented as she and Keila sat down. As Guy tunes his keyboard, he notices a part of his left arm twitching erratically. "Oh no…" he muttered before witnessing a patch of skin inverting into fur as if it were a puzzle cube. "Can I go to the bathroom first?" Guy asked.
"Upstairs, to the right of the ladder, don't touch my stuff, be back in three." Marceline pointed. "Thanks!" Guy said as he hurried up the ladder. "Just when I thought it'd get good." Keila commented. Guy hurries into the bathroom and dashes to the mirror. He looks at his arm and sees patches of fur and scales of various colours mechanically manifesting onto it.
Marceline and Keila soon hear a muffled scream in the floor above them. "Must be a mad dump." Marceline commented before hearing the sound of shattering. "I think we should check on him." Keila suggested. They float up to the second floor and knock on the door. "Guy, you good?" Marceline asked Guy, who responds with pained screams.
She opens the door and they witness Guy punching his arm into the wall, now a cascading mish-mash of animal and dark, mechanical parts. "Guy…?" Keila said in horror. "Stop it! Stop it!" Guy screamed as the affliction spreads upwards to his left cheek. He slams his head into the wall and, causing the strange transformation to cease. He turns to the vampires to reveal glowing red irises, which blinked back to brown.
"What are you?" Keila asked in curiosity. "You want the short or the long of it?" Guy asked. "Just… make it quick." Marceline said, shaken by Guy's malady. "I'm a Pretender; a shapeshifter. I was a spy planted in a university a thousand years ago. Long story short: I was punished after a botched mission, with the unintended side-effect of my abilities going haywire and my true mode becoming lost." Guy explained. "What brings you to Ooo?" Marceline asked.
"I've been travelling everywhere for a millennium to find who I could be. I was good at what I could do, but they didn't feel right for me." Guy answered. Marceline was intrigued, while Keila felt remorse for Guy. "Sorry if I took too much of your time. I'll leave." Guy said as he walks to the door. Marceline takes his arm. "Sounds to me like you're a freak who won't fit anywhere. You're in." Marceline said.
"Really?" Guy said in surprise. "You've got one heckuva story to tell, and maybe you'll even find what you're looking for with us." Marceline said. "You think you can help me?" Guy asked. "We'll dang try!" Keila said. "You guys don't know how much this means to me!" Guy said as he hugs Marceline tightly.
"Don't get too mushy on me." Marceline said before being released. "I can't wait to tell my roomie about this!" Guy said. "Go get some shuteye, and see us tomorrow morning, Guy." Keila said. "I will! Once again, thank you!" Guy said excitedly. "Just get out." Marceline said.
Guy rushes out the house with his keyboard as the vampires wave goodbye, and returns to the tree by nightfall. "Hey, I'm back. I quit my job, but I joined a band." Guy answered as he hung his backpack and new keyboard. "You can't keep on finding and quitting jobs all the time. You really want to go through with this?" the tree asked in concern. "That, my friend, we'll have to find out in due time." Guy said. He sits down behind Hangman and turns his hat forwards.
"G'night, Hangman." Guy yawned. "Good night, Guy." Hangman said sternly. Guy sleepily slides down, revealing a patch of purple moss on Hangman's trunk resembling the logo on Guy's hat.
To be continued…
