Author's Note: hey there. This is NOT a sexy romance story. This is pure, shameless (fluffy?) crack. If you're curious, just keep reading and you'll see. I like to write using first person POV, but you might as well consider this a Ruki x Reader type of tale.
Also, apologies in advance - this is long. It's a one-shot but somehow it grew into an 18 page monster on my PC.
DISCLAIMER: this is a work of fiction. None of the events in this story took place in real life. (At least I hope not LMAO.) I've never met Ruki. I'm sure he's a great guy. I'm just borrowing him for the ride. This work was originally posted on my account (same name) at ArchiveOfOurOwn.
Ruki wasn't coming any closer.
I slowly released the breath I had been holding in my throat. My heart was still racing. He had come so close. I thought for sure that he would go through with it this time.
A part of me felt relieved that he stopped at the very last second. I thought I was ready for it–for him. If there ever was such a thing as a perfect moment, it was now. We were alone. Just the two of us. If he wanted to make a move, he could. I desperately wanted him to, I really did, but it felt so intense. Much more intense than I imagined it would be.
I could feel Ruki's eyes lingering on me. He was still considering this. It didn't seem like him to hesitate. Why did he stop? Could it be that he was feeling just as nervous as I was? Maybe he hadn't done this with a girl before?
It felt ridiculous to even consider it a possibility, yet I couldn't help but feel a small burst of excitement at the silly thought. It was enough to make me want to encourage him to go on.
I wanted this happen. I wanted him to continue. I just had to let him know somehow that it was okay. He needed a push. Just a little nudge. Something low pressure that would make him feel confident to try again. Something clever. Something that would make him feel clever.
I curled my fingers around my umbrella and took a slow breath. I didn't have much time. If I waited too long the moment would pass. There was only one thing I could think to do.
I relaxed my hand as I stood up from the bench I'd been sitting on and slung my bag over my shoulder. I began to walk away with purpose, leaving the umbrella behind. With every step I took, the potential consequences of my decision began to seep into the back of my mind.
What have I done? Why did I think this was a good idea? What if I say something stupid? What if he says something stupid and I laugh at him? Oh crap, I could totally picture that happening. That would be awful. I need to go back. I can still go back–
"Excuse me."
Oh God. Oh no. That's his voice, isn't it? That's Ruki's voice. It worked. I did it. Oh God, I did it. Maybe if I just keep walking, I can make this all go away. Maybe I should start running–
Before I had a chance to break into a sprint, I felt a soft touch on my right shoulder and when I realized that it was Ruki's hand, I completely froze.
Ruki stepped in front of me.
He was dressed in black from head to toe, the leather of his jacket gleaming softly in the street lights. Long wisps of blond hair spilled out from underneath his beanie. His eyes were hidden behind a huge pair of round sunglasses, but it was him without a doubt. I could recognize that nose from a million miles away.
It was strange. I'd always expected my first time seeing Ruki in person to be with him dressed to the nines with smoky eyes and painted lips, towering above me on a big stage, singing and head banging with the crowd, and me straining my neck to catch a glimpse of him amidst a sea of thrusting arms and whipping hair.
It truly hit me then that I had only ever seen him on a computer screen. Real life Ruki didn't look like computer Ruki at all. He didn't have a smidge of makeup on his face. He had pores and a pimple on his left cheek. He looked like he was trying to cover up a bad hair day underneath that hat. His sneakers looked wet and mucky from walking through puddles. And he was almost a head shorter than me.
It felt like I was seeing something I wasn't supposed to see, like catching Superman out of his suit. Raw. Bare. Naked.
Stop picturing Ruki and Henry Cavill naked. Look away–no, not down there. Don't look at his crotch–augh, no, don't close your eyes, you idiot!
Ruki cleared his throat. He held out my umbrella to me.
"Th-thank you!" I stammered as I took the umbrella from him.
Ruki nodded slightly. He scratched the side of his cheek, looking like he wanted to say something but he had trouble finding the right words.
"...are you visiting Amsterdam?" I asked, trying to help him start a conversation.
A nod.
"Me too."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Mhm."
For a moment I hesitated, wondering if I had underestimated how difficult it might be to communicate with him.
I assumed that Ruki would know how to ask for basic directions in English, but I really had no idea how much he could say. Maybe if it would've been better if I had spoken to him in Japanese. I was a little rusty and incredibly nervous, but I would've been able to fumble my way through it somehow.
In my daydreams I'd had dozens of flawless conversations with him–and ample time to rehearse for them. Though none of my fantasies had prepared me for this situation.
I had spent the last 20 minutes watching Ruki disappearing and reappearing on the dimly lit square. He had paused every now and then to make a threatening hand gesture at his phone until he no longer looked at his phone. I didn't need to speak Japanese to tell that he was lost and his phone had died. But I couldn't just go over to him. How weird would it have been for him to have some chick randomly guess that he was Japanese? I would've had to explain that I'd come to see his concert, and then he would realize that I, a fan had seen him in such an awkward state. I couldn't embarrass him like that.
No, I could handle this discreetly. I just needed to get a little more… creative.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and unlocked the screen with a quick swipe of my thumb. I deliberately held it in Ruki's line of view, pretending to check for new messages on Whatsapp to show him that my internet connection was fully operational.
Ruki's eyes glued themselves to my phone, but he would still not utter a word. Perhaps it was time for a harder nudge.
I took a deliberate step backwards.
"Well, I hope you enjoy your trip." I said with a friendly nod, turning my body away from him as if I were about to leave.
"Hey," Ruki said quickly, "you know Astoria Hotel?"
Ohh, now we were getting somewhere. That came out way smoother than I'd expected. Maybe he had spent some time practicing for this world tour?
Ruki shifted, looking a little self-conscious when I didn't respond immediately.
"Oh sorry, I was just thinking." I reassured him with a smile. "I don't know that hotel, but I can check it for you?"
Ruki visibly relaxed at my reaction and he nodded. I lent him my phone so he could type the address of his hotel into Google Maps. I hoped he didn't notice the look on my face when he leaned in towards me to show me. He was so close.
"Okay, so we're here. Your hotel is there. It's about 20 minutes if you go this way..." I said, frowning at the messy blue line that Google scribbled across my screen. There was no way that he'd remember all of this.
For a moment Ruki looked like he agreed with me, but instead of admitting it he forced a polite smile and said, "okay, thanks."
What? Seriously? You're really going to pretend that you memorized that? Augh, damn it, why do guys have to get so butthurt about asking for directions.
"Wait!" I blurted out.
Ruki's shoulders jolted at the loudness of my voice.
Crap. He had barely taken two steps away from me. This was not the time to be dramatic. I felt my cheeks burning up with embarrassment, but I forced myself to keep talking.
"Uhm, you know," I continued, softer this time, trying to think of something–anything–to say that would keep him from leaving.
"I… I think your hotel is actually not that far away from the place I'm staying at."
Ruki raised his eyebrows at me.
"Really?"
Yes, really. You're like a 10 minute walk away from me. I really shouldn't have access to this kind of information.
"Yeah. Maybe you could...walk with me?"
As the words left my mouth, I had a hard time believing that this conversation was really taking place. Just a few hours ago I had been riding a train to Amsterdam, thinking how nice it would be if tomorrow I could secure a spot in the crowd behind someone who wasn't a lot taller than me so I could catch a decent glimpse of the band and now here I was asking the band's vocalist to let me escort him to his hotel.
Ruki went quiet for a moment, looking like he really wanted to take the offer but a part of him was resisting.
I pressed my lips together, feeling more anxious the longer he stayed silent. Something was telling me that I had asked the wrong question.
Maybe he wasn't just fussy about asking a foreigner for help. Maybe it was more about asking a girl. I had to think of a better reason for him to come with me. He was so stubborn, he would think of an excuse to decline if I didn't. He would be stuck on this damn square all night. What if his staff were looking for him right now? What if no one would find him? What if something bad happened to him?
I lifted my hand to tuck a loose lock of hair behind my ear, lowering my gaze to the ground in a way that I hoped would make me look innocent and small.
"Actually" I began, trying to think of something to say that might appeal to his manly side. "It's… it's my first time traveling alone. I…I would feel a lot safer if… I had… a guy with me…" I lied unskillfully, hoping my awkwardness would pass for shyness.
I carefully glanced up at Ruki to check his reaction. Those big black sunglasses really did an expert job at masking his eyes. I couldn't tell what he was thinking at all. Was it enough? Did he buy it?
Then he took off his sunglasses and he smiled a warm smile at me.
"Sure, no problem." Ruki said in a deep, soothing voice.
Oh… oh my, he bought it alright.
I somehow managed to keep looking into his eyes for three whole seconds until my face felt too hot to bear and an overwhelming desire to scream filled my chest. I quickly ducked my head, clearing my throat and redirecting our attention to my phone.
"O-okay, thank you. So, uhm, first we have to go this way…"
Ruki was fed up and tired and cold. All he wanted to do was jump into bed and jack off until he passed out, which was exactly what he would be doing right now if he hadn't followed Reita into the abyss.
Just getting some snacks Reita had said. Ruki should have known better.
The only 'snack' that ended up in Reita's hands was some dreadful black candy that tasted like torture and looked like a roll of tentacles ready to burst out of some sketchy hentai. Reita purchased as much as he could carry for their crew with an evil grin on his face. And then Reita was dragging Ruki across more canals and coffeeshops than the vocalist cared to remember, and somehow Ruki ended up agreeing to serenade the women in the windows of Amsterdam's red light district. Reita promised him that would be the end of it. Reita lied.
Something shiny, possibly X-rated, caught the bassist's eye and the next thing Ruki knew, the bassist was gone, the moon lit the sky and he was whirling around in circles, spinning the broken marker of his GPS round and round - as if that would persuade it to stop bullshitting him - until he felt ridiculous and dizzy enough to stop.
It took Ruki a while to come to terms with it. He knew that he could have just texted Reita to get someone to pick him up with a car. He knew that he should have done exactly that before his phone died. But he also knew that if the bassist knew that he got lost in the red light district, it wouldn't be long until everyone else knew and there was no way those dickheads would let him get away with it unscathed.
Ruki-chan, where do you think you're going? Outside? Oh dear, do you need me to hold your hand? No? Are you sure? How about some hookers? I'll leave a trail of titties for you so you can use your dick as a compass. HAHAHA.
Yeah, he wasn't in the mood for that.
Ruki would make sure that they would never learn of this. And why would they now that Not Japanese Chick had given him such a wonderful alibi? He was just escorting a young lady back to her hotel, that's all.
The umbrella had been perfect. Ruki still marveled at himself for coming up with such a good ice breaker, such a brilliant excuse to talk to her. He was a genius.
Granted, he had a rough start initially. It was dark, and she was all alone, and he knew that she must've noticed him looking at her. Repeatedly. He didn't want her to think that he was some kind of creep. When he finally did muster up the courage to go over to her, she looked kind of freaked out and then he freaked out and he backed off like a friggin' pussy.
Seriously, thank God for the umbrella. Speaking English to people in another country always put him out of his comfort zone.
Not Japanese Chick didn't seem to mind his English though. She actually seemed more anxious about the whole situation than he was.
She wasn't stammering as much anymore when he spoke to her, but she seemed reluctant to hold a conversation so he'd given up on trying to make small talk. It was odd. He always got the impression that most foreigners were loud and chatty.
What was she even doing here at this hour? She seemed kind of dense, walking around alone at night and forgetting her stuff. It was a good thing that Ruki was there to look after her. He was grateful that she was kind enough to lead him back to his hotel, but he definitely had to make sure that she returned to hers safely as well.
Fuck, he wanted his bed. And his toilet.
Over the course of the last hour the vocalist's bladder had steadily swollen dangerously close to max capacity. He was going to need to take a piss sooner than later or his dick would erupt like a geyser. Preferably not in his pants.
He was also feeling hungry. He'd lost his appetite for dinner when Reita kept waving that black tentacle shit in his face, but its effects were finally starting to wane.
Ruki turned to Not Japanese Chick who was dutifully monitoring their course on her phone.
"Hey, you know a place to eat?" He asked in the most casual voice he could manage.
Not Japanese Chick glanced his way briefly before seeking refuge in her screen again. She kept doing that every time their eyes met.
"Oh yes, it says there's a McDonald's nearby." She said.
Oh, that sounded nostalgic. The last time he'd gorged on overpriced burgers, chicken nuggets and French fries was… Ruki couldn't remember when. For good reason. He had a sensitive stomach. And the concert was tomorrow. The last thing he needed was a cloud of death gas trying to escape his anus while he was in the midst of an emotional ballad. He had learned from his past mistakes.
Not Japanese Chick seemed to notice that he was facing some kind of internal dilemma. Her mouth moved awkwardly in search of a solution. "Well, it's kind of late, but maybe something else is still open. Let me check…"
Ruki waited. Then he felt a soft splash on his hand. And another. He looked up towards the sky and a big splash hit him square in the face.
Fuck it. The music would be loud. Worst case scenario he would hold it in till the next headbanger. No one would know. He could always just fart in Reita's face and get revenge at the same time. Surely he would be able to pass that off as fan service somehow.
"Let's go."
"Huh?"
Ruki jerked his chin in the direction of the beckoning yellow M on the opposite side of the street.
"What-really?"
He ignored the question and began to lead the way. Not Japanese Chick followed him into the restaurant, stumbling to a halt behind him when he stopped moving abruptly.
Ruki scanned the room. His eyes landed on a little white sign with a male stick figure. Ah yes, sweet release, there you are.
The vocalist spun around to face Not Japanese Chick and he pointed towards a big touch screen with the McDonald's menu on it.
"Order." Was all he could manage before briskly walking off to the men's room.
He jumped in front of the first urinal he laid eyes on, nearly ripping a button off his jeans as his fingers fought to pop it out of the hole all at once. As soon as the button came loose, he yanked his zipper down, fished out his junk, took aim and–"ooooooooohhh—fuck."
A few minutes later, Ruki emerged from the men's room with an empty bladder and an elevated mood.
He joined Not Japanese Chick in front of the touch screen. She hadn't ordered anything yet. She must've been waiting for him, how nice. He lifted a hand to scroll through the menu.
"What do you want?" Ruki asked.
She shook her head with a reserved smile, keeping her eyes on the floor.
"Oh no, I'm fine."
"It's okay, I pay." He said.
"No, that's okay. Thank you."
Ruki glared at the screen, silently cursing in his head. He didn't want her to be polite. He was ready to devour everything he could pack into his stomach in pursuit of his vengeance. It was going to get messy. He couldn't just let her watch. She had to get something.
"...a drink?" He offered, lingering in the beverages menu. Not Japanese Chick licked her lips and glanced at the screen.
"Okay, I'll have the...apple juice."
Okay weird but better than nothing. Ruki flipped open his wallet to pay for their order.
A condom slipped out and fell next to his foot.
WTF HOW DID THAT GET IN THERE. Shit fuck shit shit. Putitawayputitawayputitaway.
Ruki dropped to his knees and violently jammed the condom into his pocket.
There was a long, horrible silence.
He didn't dare to look up at her. He couldn't breathe. Did he get it in time? Did she see-
"Uhm, you know, I think I'll go find us a table while you go get the food."
Goddamnit, he was gonna get arrested for sexual harassment.
Ruki set a bottle of apple juice on the table in front me. I stared at it intensely.
So let's lay down the facts here. Ruki went to the bathroom. This means that he put his penis in his hand. So if I touch this bottle where Ruki touched it just now, does that mean I'll have indirectly touched Ruki's penis?
"Thirsty?" Ruki asked.
"No!" I exclaimed, mortified.
Ruki gave me a confused look.
Oh my God, calm down he's just talking about the drink, you idiot. Your filthy secrets are safe.
"No, I mean, yes. I mean...thank you."
I took the bottle and tried not to think of penises while I twisted off the cap. Ruki resumed eating as I took a few sips of the cold juice to calm myself. But I couldn't be calm.
Nothing of this night was making sense anymore. Everything felt wrong.
Somehow I had ended up at McDonald's and Ruki of the GazettE had bought me a drink and he was sharing his food with me. His French fries anyway. There was an unspoken rule that his chicken nuggets were not to be touched. And his double quarter pounder was shrinking at a steady pace. He looked like he was thoroughly enjoying it. His top lip was smeared with ketchup and sesame seeds. He dug in with the same vigor a 10 year old would, which was kind of cute.
I should've been feeling butterflies, but they were being squashed by the big lump of awkwardness and shame festering in the pit of my stomach.
I was in such a privileged position and I wasn't even doing anything meaningful with it. I wasn't talking to him. I could barely hold eye contact with him. It was as if all the courage I'd mustered up to speak to him dissolved right after he agreed to walk with me.
I thought of all the other people who would kill to spend this much time with Ruki and how they would feel if they could see how much of it I was wasting. It made me want to crawl under a rock.
To make things worse I had also lied to him–deceived him, made him believe that I was some innocent tourist girl who didn't know exactly who he was, so he would feel comfortable telling me the address of his hotel and buying me apple juice because I was too scared to find out what he would think of me if I ordered the double cheese burger that I really wanted.
Even the brand of condoms that Ruki liked to slide on his penis was no longer a secret to me. God, I had to stop thinking about Ruki's penis.
I tried to look outside the window in search of a distraction, but it was difficult to keep my eyes from drifting back to Ruki when I had such a good view of him. Sitting across each other in a well-lit room I could admire even more of him, like his neatly trimmed eyebrows, the natural shape of his eyes without makeup and the intricate lines of his tattoos peeking out from underneath his sleeves.
But more than anything I stole glances at his mouth. His lips looked large and full even without lipstick. They had always been one of my favorite distractions in his music videos and concert clips.
Watching Ruki wrap his lips around a hamburger the size of my fist wasn't particularly sexy, but it could be the beginning of something. The napkin he'd brought could only soak up so much ketchup and mustard, so he would have to use his tongue at some point, right?
Ruki stopped eating to take a sip of his vanilla milkshake. Then he looked up at me, raising his hand to his ear in a way that mimicked making a phone call.
"Okay if I...?"
Oh right, it was pretty late. He probably needed to let someone know he was on his way back.
"Oh yes, of course." I gave him my phone.
He dialed a number and pressed the phone to his ear. A few seconds later I heard a curious "moshi, moshi?" from the other side.
"It's me." Ruki replied flatly in Japanese. He picked up a chicken nugget, biting a big chunk out of it while he listened to whoever was talking to him.
"No, I didn't get my phone stolen. It died, I'm borrowing someone else's. I'm fine. Yeah, you'd better be worried. No, I didn't wander off! You're the one who wandered off. You just took off on your own, asshole."
I couldn't help but listen in on the conversation with a small smile while Ruki spoke with his mouth full and he bickered back and forth with what sounded like Reita. It almost sounded like an episode of Radio Jack.
"I'll be back later tonight." Ruki continued. "I ran into some chick who got lost, so I'm taking her back to her hotel."
I looked at him incredulously. What did he just say?
Ruki didn't notice. He leaned back in his chair with a self-satisfied smile, folding an arm behind his head. "Yeah, you know me, I can't turn down a damsel in distress."
I sank back into my chair with my arms folded, tilting my head to the side, astonished and slightly offended as Ruki began to gloat about how he supposedly found me awaiting his rescue and how he just couldn't leave me stranded all by lonesome, clueless myself.
Oh, I see how it is. Well, if you're allowed to bend the truth like a pretzel–a BIG pretzel I might add, then I'm not going to feel bad about my pretzel either.
"Is that Aoi? What the hell is he saying?" Ruki suddenly asked Reita. There was a pause and then I heard Aoi's voice but I couldn't make out what he was saying.
I sipped my apple juice, patiently waiting for Ruki to come up with his next lie. He looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he said, "no, I don't think I'll hook up with her."
I immediately choked on my drink, spitting and coughing violently. Ruki startled, lowering the phone to his shoulder.
"You okay?" He asked in English.
No! I got apple juice all over my lap and you made me think about penises again!
I nodded quickly and covered my mouth with my hand, more to hide the terrible flush that I felt creeping up my face than to clean myself up.
"Aoi, give the phone back to Reita." Ruki carried on, handing me a fresh napkin.
Yes Aoi, I love you but please give the phone back to Reita.
"I'm not going to fuck her. What do you mean I don't need to worry about getting her pregnant–are you the bastard who stuck a condom in my wallet?"
Oh, so that's how that happened.
"No, I'm just gonna make sure she gets back to her hotel okay."
Aww. Thank you, Ruki. You're so nice.
Ruki glanced at my face while Aoi spoke.
"Mid-twenties or something. Eh, I dunno, she just looks kinda meh. I like it better when girls put in some effort. Did you see that redhead at the hotel? She was smoking hot."
Okay, I take that back. Please excuse me for not living up to your expectations, mister I'm-too-lazy-to-wash-my-greasy-hair-so-let-me-just-hide-it-under-this-hat. Also, you better have washed your hands when you went to the bathroom or I'm totally selling this bottle on Ebay.
Ruki's eyes dropped down to my chest. My eyes grew wide. Oh hell no, was he seriously–
"Her tits are fine, I guess. Huh? No, I'm not going to take a picture for you, you idiot. Stop fucking around. Put Reita back on the phone."
Ruki looked down at his nails, leaning back into his chair.
"No, I don't need anyone to come pick me up. Don't worry, Reita. I know this place like the back of my hand. Trust me, I know what I'm doing."
Oh yeah, sure you do.
I snorted and laughed at the blatant lie.
I didn't realize my mistake until my eyes connected with Ruki's. My smile dropped fast.
Ruki stared back at me in shock.
"You…"
"I-I'm sorry." I stammered. "Thanks for the, uh, apple juice. And the fries. They were delicious. Uhm, excuse me."
"What–where are you going?!"
Yes, where are we going? Why are we running? Oh crap, he's coming after us. Run, run, run.
I stepped outside of the McDonald's, but I didn't get very far. Ruki blocked my way.
"Why the hell are you running away?" He demanded in Japanese.
"I-I'm sorry, I don't know what you're saying." I sputtered in English, not knowing what else to do.
Ruki narrowed his eyes at me, continuing to speak in Japanese. "Seriously? So you don't want your phone back?"
I didn't say anything in response.
"Okay then." He held out my phone to the side of the road. "If you keep playing dumb with me, I'm gonna smash your phone. You have three seconds."
Ruki began to count.
"Three."
Oh, he was bluffing. He had to be bluffing. He wouldn't break another person's phone just to prove a point. Right?
"Two."
Some of his fingers withdrew, leaving my phone to dangle delicately between his thumb and forefinger. He couldn't be serious. He wouldn't.
"One—"
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" I cried out in Japanese. "Please don't break my phone!"
"I knew it!" The vocalist exclaimed, holding the phone away from me. "So you understood everything I just said."
I nodded my head in defeat.
For a moment Ruki looked pleased that he had won, but then it seemed to fully sink in what exactly that implied and his face fell.
"You understood–you understood everything I just said. Shit." He swore, taking a step back. "I... I'm sorry for talking about you like that. I was incredibly rude."
"It's fine." I said curtly, suddenly feeling a little defiant. I crossed my arms over my chest. "You're not my type either. I like Reita much better. He sounds like he's the nicest and most mature out of all of you."
"Ha. Yeah, right." Ruki scoffed. Then he gave me an odd look. "Hang on. What do you mean you like Reita better? How do you know Reita?"
Now it was my turn to blush.
"I–well, it's... I…I have a concert ticket to see your show."
"You have a ticket to see my–you have a ticket to see the GazettE. Tomorrow. At 7?" He asked, placing great emphasis on the name of his band as if he were trying to make sure that we were talking about the same concert. I nodded.
Ruki looked at me as if I set his house on fire.
"Fuck! Are you serious? You're a fan? Why didn't you say so?!"
"I don't know! I just… I just thought it was better like this!"
"How is it better like this?!"
"I just didn't want to bother you! You were lost and you looked tired. I just wanted to help you."
Ruki opened his mouth before he closed it again, looking like he just realized that he had raised his voice at me. He rubbed his jaw, visibly upset with himself.
"We can't leave it like this. We need to start over." He finally said.
He extended his hand to me. "Hi. I'm Ruki, the vocalist of the GazettE."
I looked at him in surprise, not prepared for him to initiate a handshake all of a sudden. I hadn't even been able to get a VIP ticket for tomorrow. I tentatively stretched my hand towards his and he took it, giving my hand a gentle yet solid squeeze.
"Hi," I replied shyly and then I told him my name.
"I'm sorry that you had to put up with me." Ruki apologized again, releasing my hand.
"No, it's okay. It's no trouble at all." I reassured him, my eyes remaining fixed on the center of my hand. I could still feel the warmth of his palm.
"Anyway," he continued, clearing his throat. "It's cold out here. Can we go back inside?"
It was a mistake to go back inside.
Ruki wouldn't stop staring at me. He was gazing at me with renewed interest as he sucked on the end of his straw, his milkshake cupped in his hand, looking at me like I was some peculiar instrument that he hadn't fully figured out how to play.
He wasn't making any effort whatsoever to do it discreetly either.
A part of me wondered if this was some kind of payback. I thought I had been careful, but maybe he had noticed my glances throughout the evening after all. After spending over a decade in the music business, it wouldn't be strange to think he'd developed some sort of sixth sense to detect the captivated fangirl gaze.
Most people had left the McDonald's already. All I could hear was Ruki's loud slurping - he'd nearly reached the bottom of his milkshake.
I shifted uncomfortably, fumbling with the strap of the bag I'd been carrying with me all day. I had rummaged through the bag several times, but there was nothing in there for me to escape into. Just my phone, wallet, umbrella and a Japanese work book. My phone only had 21% battery left and it didn't seem like the right time for a grammar session. I didn't know why I even kept packing books for my trips, I never ended up studying on the train like I'd planned to.
Unfortunately Ruki had also been peering into my bag.
"What's that?" Ruki asked with an inquisitive smile, gesturing at the work book.
"Oh, it's nothing." I said quickly, covering the Japanese characters with my arm as if that might make them go away.
Ruki's smile stretched wider, obviously he'd already read the title. "Show me."
I looked at him uncertainly.
"I'm just curious." He said gently, but in a way that told me he wasn't going to take no for an answer.
Reluctantly I gave in, sliding the book towards him.
"Nice handwriting." Ruki commented, flipping through a few pages.
"Your Japanese is fine. I don't get why you didn't use it from the start. Have you been studying for a long time?"
"A few years."
"Can I fix this bit? It's not wrong, but I don't think it sounds natural."
"Oh yes, of course. If you don't mind." I replied as I gave him a pencil, unsure whether to feel embarrassed or excited that he was offering to fix my notes.
Ruki went through the last chapter I'd worked on, using the pencil to scribble in the corners of the pages, pausing every now and then to make sure I could read what he'd written there. When he finished, he slid the book back towards me.
I couldn't help but smile at the little messages and doodles he had left on the pages, happy that they were there to serve as a reminder that this surreal night had really happened.
When I looked up, Ruki was staring at me again.
"What is it?" I asked, blushing a little.
"You have a nice smile." He said, a smile of his own playing on his lips. "It's the first time I've seen you relax all night."
My blush deepened and I fumbled with the notebook. "I was nervous." I mumbled.
Ruki folded his arms on the table, leaning in a little closer. "Why?" He asked with a cheeky grin.
Oh he knew exactly why. Jeez, his attitude completely changed after we switched from English to Japanese. Or maybe it was because I knew who he was. He seemed a lot less reserved, content to tease me to the point that it bordered on flirting.
Ruki looked at me expectantly.
I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "Well, I wanted to make sure that we would get to your hotel before my phone's battery died." I finally said, too embarrassed to admit out loud that just being in his presence was the real reason.
It wasn't a lie, but it definitely wasn't the answer Ruki had been hoping for. For a moment I thought he looked a little disappointed.
He glanced down at my phone on the center of the table before muttering, "yeah, I guess we should get going."
It was nearly midnight when we reached Astoria Hotel. We could see Aoi and Reita standing near the entrance of the building, chatting to each other. There was cigarette smoke coming from between Aoi's fingers.
When they noticed us approaching, Ruki told me to wait for a bit and he jogged up to them.
They exchanged a few words, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. I was close enough to make out their expressions though - both Aoi's and Reita's faces almostly simultaneously broke into wide grins when they spotted me and they gave me a little wave, seeming to put two and two together. I laughed awkwardly and waved back at them as they playfully clapped Ruki on his shoulders, ushering him back in my direction.
Ruki swatted their hands off of him, tossing them a look that was somewhere in between annoyed and amused. He began to walk back towards me. When he almost reached my side, the guitarist and bassist burst into excited shouts behind him.
"YOU GOT THIS. DON'T CHICKEN OUT JUST CUZ SHE'S TALLER THAN YOU!"
"THERE'S AN EXTRA CONDOM IN CASE YOU WANNA GO FOR ROUND TWO!"
Ruki whirled around with a roar.
"SHE CAN HEAR YOU!"
He turned back to me, shaking his head. "Sorry about that. They're morons. Let's get you to your hotel."
"You're really going with me?" I asked him unsurely, hesitating. It was so late already, he had to be so tired.
"Of course I am. I'm not going to let a girl walk alone in the middle of the night. It's not safe."
Don't worry about me, Ruki, I wouldn't miss your concert for anything. I'll kick 'em in the nuts and beat the crap out of them with my umbrella.
"I'll be okay, it's just a 10 minute walk."
"I'll go with you anyway. It's fine."
"No, really, you don't need to."
Ruki cocked his head to the side, looking up at me as if something – our height difference – just clicked for him. "Ohh, I see. You don't think I'd be able to do anything if something happened?"
"N-no, it's just…"
"Hn. Okay, well, suit yourself then."
"No, no!" I sputtered, not wanting to offend him. "You can walk me to my hotel."
He shot me a playfully skeptical look.
"No, really." I insisted. "I'd like that."
"Okay, let's go then."
We began to walk down the street.
"All that stuff you said earlier about feeling safer with a guy around was bullshit, wasn't it?" Ruki commented offhandedly as we walked side by side, sounding like he already knew the answer.
"I just didn't want you to feel awkward about asking me for help. I thought it would make things easier." I confessed, knowing there was no point in trying to hide it anymore.
To my surprise, Ruki smiled a half smile, as if everything made perfect sense to him now, and he mumbled a quiet "thanks."
We turned a corner and arrived in front of my hotel. It was just a small, plain building compared to the fancy place Ruki was staying at, but it had a cozy, welcoming vibe to it. The entrance was at the top of an old looking staircase.
I walked up the stairs, turning around halfway to face the vocalist with a shy smile. "Well, thank you for walking me here."
Ruki smiled back at me. "No problem."
We were both quiet for a moment. I was about to open my mouth to suggest calling it a night when Ruki spoke again.
"So?" He said, sounding like he was expecting something from me.
"...so?" I echoed, unsure what he wanted.
He looked around as if to make sure that there was no one around to hear him. Then he glanced back at me, tossing me a wolfish grin. "Aren't you going to invite me up?"
My cheeks burst into flames. "What? No!"
Ruki blinked at my outburst, staring blankly at me.
I began to stammer, my mouth moving awkwardly to find the right words.
"I-I didn't mean it like that! It's just—"
"Relax, I was kidding." He interrupted quickly, looking like he had to suppress a laugh. "I know you're not the type to get into that sort of thing."
"Oh."
But does that mean you'd be into that sort of thing if I were the type to get into that sort of thing?
Ruki must have caught on to what I was thinking because he grinned at me again.
"Reconsidering?"
"No! Stop messing with me already."
He did laugh this time and he rubbed the bridge of his nose, smiling apologetically. "Sorry."
I shifted from one foot to the other, looking down. "Uhm, I guess we should…"
Ruki nodded. "Yeah, we should."
I leaned back against the railing of the stairs.
"Well, don't get lost this time."
"I won't."
"Are you sure?" I continued, feeling that urge to be a little defiant again, to tease him back a little. "I can still walk you back. No need to be shy."
"I won't." He repeated, shooting me a playful glare.
I laughed, giving him a nod. "Alright. Good night, Ruki."
He smiled a little, returning the nod. "Night."
Ruki slid his hands into his pockets, turning to head back into the direction we had come from. I watched him take a few steps until suddenly he slowed down and stopped.
"Actually," he said. "There's just one more thing…"
He turned to face me again and he jogged up the center of the stairs. When he reached the step that lifted him just high enough so he was looking down at me, he stepped towards me.
I pressed my back against the railing, taken aback by his proximity. He stood so close–all it would take was one, maybe two more steps for his body to press flush against mine. I looked up at him in shock, not daring to move, waiting for him to say something. He didn't.
"What is it?" I asked in a tiny voice.
Ruki gave me a slow smile.
I gasped softly when he began to lean in towards me. He stretched out an arm and curled his fingers around the railing beside me to support his weight. His eyes stayed locked on mine as his face drew nearer. He paused when his nose was just a few inches away from brushing against mine.
Ruki's lips parted and a pink tongue darted out, gliding smoothly over the top of his mouth before languidly dragging itself across his bottom lip, leaving a glistening wet trace.
My eyes followed the movement, entranced by the sensual sweep of his tongue. When his tongue withdrew and he closed his mouth, my eyes fluttered open and closed as if a spell had been broken. I looked up to find Ruki staring right at me. Then his face broke into a huge grin.
I turned bright red, clamping a hand over my mouth when I realized what he'd done, and that he had been watching me watching him.
"What the—?!"
Ruki threw his head back, erupting in a fit of laughter. He staggered down a few steps, dropping his hands on his knees, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably. I stared at him with wide eyes, absolutely mortified.
After what felt like forever Ruki finally calmed down. He straightened himself and sucked in a large gulp of air. He exhaled with a content sigh, raising a hand to wipe a tears from his eye. Then he looked back at me, the corners of his lips rising in a devious smirk.
"Come on, you were dying to see that all night, weren't you?" He teased. "I just thought I'd give you a parting gift since you helped me out."
I couldn't speak. There was no use in denying it at all and I was too flustered to think of a decent comeback. I turned my head away from him.
Ruki chuckled before his face turned serious again.
"Alright, lend me your phone."
"What? Uhm, sure but I don't have that much battery left."
"That's okay. I'm just giving you my number so you can message me after the show is over."
"You're–you're giving me your number?"
The vocalist's lips curved into a suggestive smile as he took the phone from me.
Oh God, please stop giving me fanservice. My heart can't handle it.
"I told you I'm not letting you walk alone at night, didn't I?" He reminded me.
And then the flash of my camera blinded me.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to blink away the stars that danced around my eyes. "What are you doing–"
"Don't worry, it's just a little precaution." Ruki said with a dismissive wave of his hand.
"I don't think I need to tell you that you shouldn't give this number to anyone else, but it's just part of my routine nowadays. I get enough weird messages as it is already. Memorizing a new phone number is really annoying, you know?" He continued, tapping his fingers leisurely at my phone screen.
"Also, if anyone asks, you were hopelessly lost and I was a wonderful gentleman who escorted you back to your hotel." Ruki finished. I could see him pressing a button to send my picture somewhere.
Then he booped my nose with the back of my phone, dropping it back into my hands with a cheeky smile. "Don't forget. Sleep well. I'm sure the guys will like you. See you tomorrow."
With that, Ruki turned his back to me and descended down the stairs. I looked at my phone and back at him as I tried to wrap my brain around what had just happened. Did he just imply that he's going to introduce me to his band–Oh my God what is this? Did he just text himself a mugshot of me?
"Ruki, are you threatening me?!"
Ruki stopped walking but he kept his back towards me–I swear to God he was laughing at me again, I could see his shoulders shaking. Then he looked over his shoulder and he just winked at me before disappearing around the corner.
I looked down at my phone again and groaned at what I saw before the screen went black.
He could have at least taken a picture of me with my eyes open.
Author's Note: Hey again, Reader. Thanks for reading this all the way to the end!
The GazettE just had their 20th anniversary a few days ago as I'm posting this. I've seen tons of ficlets that dive into the perfect fantasy of how wonderful it would be to meet one's favourite member in person, but I just thought it would be funny to take a different spin on it and think of ways to make it go horribly, ridiculously wrong. Anyway, I hope you got a giggle out of this.
