Walk of Fame
Tori was enjoying the sun. Felt really good on her old bones. She was nearly 85 but, deep inside and lying in the sun, she still felt like a young woman starting her first day at Hollywood Arts, not some Grand Dame whose hand and foot prints were part of the legendary Walk of Fame in Hollywood.
Admittedly, she wasn't on Hollywood or Vine but Sunset. By the time she was honored, the traditional sidewalk had expanded for the fourth or fifth time off of Hollywood Boulevard. Actually, her star was at 6328 Sunset Boulevard, in front of Hollywood Arts High School.
And, when she found out where she would be immortalized, she was more excited than if it had been on the famous Hollywood and Vine intersection. In fact, it was the perfect place as far as the multi-Platinum, Grammy, Tony, Emmy and Oscar winner was concerned.
But the best was that next to her was Jade West – the multi-Oscar and Emmy winning movie maker and Tony-winning for the first successful horror play on Broadway in over a century – going back to the stage version of Dracula with the immortal Bela Lugosi. The woman who had started as the bane of Tori's existence before later becoming her life-long love.
She was proud that they were one of the very few couples who got their adjacent 'ground' at the same time, thirty years before.
That was a memorable day. The Yin and Yang of Hollywood Arts were there with their daughters, Vicki and Liz and their spouses and families. Not to mention their life-long friends, Andre Harris who was, at that time, a five-time Grammy winner and long-time playboy. Trina Vega, the reigning the Queen of Comedy, and later, the wife of Andre Harris. Beck Oliver who was growing out of his matinee idol status (an outgrowth of his teen idol status) and destined to be one of the great legends of Hollywood. Cat Oliver, one of the few designers with multiple Emmys and Oscars and widely considered to be the heir apparent to the near-mythic Edith Head. The Olivers became the next couple to be honored on the Walk simultaneously with abutting stars. Last but not least, Robbie Shapiro, the source of the resurgence in ventriloquism thanks to his sell-out live shows and his dozen-plus cable specials. And wherever Robbie went, his wife, Cat's one-time roomie, was close behind but not in his shadow as she was the star of iAm Not Carly, one of the highest-rated, and longest posted blogs.
All of the Hollywood Arts alumni were still working. They enjoyed it too much to retire. Tori, her voice deeper with age but still incredible, even sang the National Anthem at the Dodgers/Brewers game on the Tricentennial 4th of July. Her sole stipulation was no dogs anywhere near her while she sang.
A shadow fell across Tori. "Hey! You're blocking my sun!"
"Your sun?! Who died and made you Queen of the Universe?"
"You, if you don't move your old ass out of my way!"
"Ooo, the old lioness still has fangs…"
"Knock it off and move or you'll need dentures, not just that Brooklyn Bridgework you have now!"
"Oooh…" came the throaty response. Yet, Jade Vega did move to sit on the adjacent lounger.
"You know, your throaty responses are deeper nowadays? Kinda sexy…"
"Vega, how can you… Do you have proof…. I mean… SHUT UP!"
Realizing she sounded like her wife, Jade reddened then said, "God, I have been with you too long!"
"And hated every minute!" Tori giggled.
"Shad up…" Jade then chuckled, "Brooklyn Bridgework? Gotta give you credit, Vega. That was pretty clever."
"Thank you. I like it."
"How long you been planning to use that?"
"Probably the last time we walked the Bridge to Brooklyn." Tori didn't add, 'Before the waters rose.'
"That was twenty years ago! What the hell, Vega? You going senile?"
"Hmmph!"
Several minutes of comfortable silence ensued. Finally, Jade went back several minutes in their typical on-and-off conversation, saying, "Sexy, huh? Vega? You said… You still alive, Vega? You haven't uttered an irritating word in nearly five minutes."
"To quote the immortal Archie Bunker, 'Shuddop, you!'" Tori responded in a credible Queens accent.
Several more minutes of sunny silence before…
"Vega, did you die on me? Again?"
"No!"
"I'm not used to you being quiet this long. Except when you're asleep."
"Maybe I was asleep!" came the snarky response.
"Oh… Sorry…"
Tori sat up, "Wow! Jade West apologized!"
"It's not like it's the first time…"
"It kinda is…"
"Shuddup…"
A half hour of sunny silence later…
"Vega, I gotta tell you, I like you."
"Jade, I like you too."
"Good thing since we have two daughters…"
"Those are ours?"
"Oy…"
"You're not Jewish."
"Just shuddup yoo moudt…"
"This time I gotta give you credit Jade. Decent Boris Badenov voice…"
"I'm not just a pretty face."
"No, you're a wrinkly old hag!"
"Pot? Meet kettle!"
"We're not alike!" Tori growled.
"We kinda are…" Jade retorted.
"I have firmer boobs!"
"Still saggy!"
"So's your butt!"
"You didn't seem to mind last night…"
"And you didn't mind my wrinkly old hag face or my saggy boobs either."
In truth, neither looked bad at all, especially since they were nearly 85. At worst, they looked to be in their early 60s – by 2020 standards. By turn of the century standards, the pair looked to be in their mid-50s. With no reconstructive surgery for either woman. Both were still considered beautiful by the Biz but also 'seasoned by age' as People On-line put it in a recent series of articles on power couples. After all, life expectancy in this post-Climate Change world was well over 110 years and closing in on 120 years.
"Well, I was drunk!"
"You haven't had a drop in two weeks! You told me it gives you gas!"
"You give me gas!" On purpose, Jade made a farting sound and said, "See?"
"Eeewww, Mom!"
Liz walked onto the deck with her older sister, Vicki. "I told you they'd be out here bickering."
"And did I argue with you about that?"
"No. For a change."
Liz, even though she was in her early 50s, looked a lot like Jade did when she was much younger. Vicki, at 55 years of age, took after her other mother, looking like Tori when she was in her mid-40s, like her polar-opposite sister.
"Girls! What are you doing here? Not that we're not thrilled to see you any time!" Tori exclaimed as she got off the patio lounger to hug her daughters.
"Lunch, remember?" Liz replied, rolling her eyes just like her other mother.
"Yeah, but it's like…mid-morning," Jade stated.
Vicki shook her head, "Nooo… More like 11:30."
"Oh God! I gotta take a shower and get dressed!"
Tori dashed into the house as Jade laughed, "She never changes."
"Neither do you, Mom."
Jade lifted her arms, "Help me up."
Each daughter dutifully grabbed an arm and helped Jade stand upright.
"Your knee bothering you again?" Liz asked.
"Yeah… The sun helps but… Hell, I'm getting old! I hate getting old!"
Forty-five years before, Jade had slipped off a ledge near Vasquez Rocks during the filming of her movie, Death Takes No Holiday, about a family campout gone bad. She cracked her kneecap and severely twisted the joint. As a result, rather than playing the warrior mother defending her kids, she had to be re-written out as the first casualty. But it was a glorious, bloody death…
After she started therapy, Jade was able to appear in a scene after her stunt double took a fall off a cliff. ("Where were you three weeks ago?" Jade whined.) She had a fragment of a line before she coughed up blood and died. The critics loved it, saying it was marvelous not to have the typical extended death scene so many movies were using by that point.
Regardless of the damage, her knee was fine for decades after. It was only around Jade's 60th birthday that the knee really started to bother her. Now, even with monthly cortisone injections, she often needed some assistance standing. A task Tori happily provided when they got up in the morning, even if she did gripe about it.
But that was their thing. Obviously. Life with each other was wonderful but it did need the weird lubrication of constant bickering. The times they tried not having spats, tensions rose and, once, when they tried to get along like 'normal' couples, they almost broke up.
"You're walking fine," Vicki said. Liz nodded in agreement.
"Once I get up, I'm okay. As long as I don't have to march anymore." Jade referred to the many marches she and her wife took part in for everything from Equal Rights to Gay Rights to Elderly Rights. It started in college when they marched for Black Lives Matter.
She walked into the sun porch then the house and towards the stairlift. Tori had it installed when Jade's knee started to bother her on stairs several years before. "There's coffee in the kitchen. I'll be down in a few."
Liz snarkily yelled, "Don't share your shower! We'll have to do dinner instead!"
Vicki scowled, "Eew, must you?"
"Yes. Yes, I must," Liz stated.
"C'mon, Vega! Haul your saggy, wrinkly ass!" Jade called out.
"QUIET! Jee-zus! Gimme a minute or two…"
"I may not have a minute or two… I'm old, dammit!"
"How the hell have I put up with you for almost seventy years?"
"I'm bewitching!"
"Yeah, like Endora," Tori replied snarkily.
Jade growled then took her stairlift down.
Shortly after, Tori came down.
"We good to go? Anybody gotta use the bathroom?"
"Mom, we're not kids!"
Liz said, "Gimme a minute!"
As their daughter trotted back into the house, Tori just smiled. Jade shook her head and Vicki muttered, "Girl's got TB."
"TB?" Tori asked, playing along.
"Yeah, Tiny Bladder." Then Vicki muttered, "Damn it!"
She quickly followed her sister into their old house as their mothers chuckled. The parents stood on the front yard, looking down at the Bay of Los Angeles beyond the downtown towers.
In the distance were the islands that had been the Palos Verde Peninsula, Baldwin Hills and far off Signal Hill. The slowly rising sea finally stopped near Sixth Street, just south of downtown LA., leaving assorted buildings as isolated islands slowly rotting in the surf. West Hollywood became a beach town as did Bel Air, South San Gabriel and portions of Whittier that were above the new sea level. Long Beach, Downey, Anaheim, Santa Monica, LAX, Marina Del Rey, the Orange County beach communities and so many other coastal towns and neighborhoods slowly sank beneath the Pacific waters. A new Atlantis of sorts.
"Remember when we had to drive a half-hour to get to the beach at Santa Monica?"
"Vega, remember when we discussed too many nostalgia questions? People will start to think.."
"I'm losing it. I remember. It's just that..."
Jade wrapped her arm around Tori's shoulders. "I know babe. I know."
At the New Brown Derby, which looked like the original from the Golden Age of Hollywood, but was itself actually nearly forty years old, the four women sat down and ordered drinks. Tori had iced tea and Jade just drank water. She had to reluctantly give up coffee a few years before when even early morning coffee started to keep her up at night. Their daughters each ordered one of the legendary martinis the derby-shaped restaurant was famous for.
"Martinis at lunch?" Tori chided.
"Only one, Mom!" Vicki argued.
Liz nodded,
"We did worse, Vega."
"Yeah, but we were in college…"
"Your point?"
Ignoring her wife's question, Tori asked, "So, how're our grandkids?"
"Great-grandkids, Vega…"
"I was getting to them. I wanna know about their parents too!"
"Moms, please… Can we have a lunch without you two barking at each other?"
"Liz, we've been doing this for seventy years. Why…"
"Sixty-nine years, Jade."
"Huh?" Jade responded with a puzzled look.
"I didn't start at Hollywood Arts until I was sixteen. That was sixty-nine years ago."
"You just like sixty-nine!" Jade countered. Tori's blush caused Jade to bust out a laugh.
"Eew, Mom!" Vicki moaned.
"You think you'd be used to this after a lifetime of their bickering…" Liz said. It was far from the first time she made that comment.
"You're my sister. That doesn't mean I have to love you," Vicki said.
"Yeah, it kinda does…" Tori said. "I should know."
"No, you don't. There are plenty of siblings who don't talk to each other," Jade countered.
"Alright! I don't care! I wanna know about my grandkids and their kids!" Tori near-yelled.
"Sorry Mom."
"Sorry."
"I'm sorry, sweetie." A pause then Jade added, "See, I apologize more than you think!"
"Jade, it doesn't count if you editorialize it! But I'll accept. Now tell me about our little ones."
Liz chuckled, "Our kids are far from little!"
"Baby, you and Vic are still our little girls. Always will be. So give with the detes."
"Detes, Vega? That's not even retro – it's positively prehistoric."
"Quiet! I'm getting the latest on our spawn."
"Spawn? Mom, eew!"
"You should be used to it…" Tori said to her daughters. "After all, I've been mated to this freak for well over a half century!"
Jade glared at her wife, "Hey! I resemble that remark!"
Tori stepped over to Jade, her arms in hugging mode. "Careful, Vega. I'm old with brittle bones."
"Weren't so brittle last night, Lover!"
"Eeew. MOMS!"
Notes: 1) Bela Lugosi came to the United States early in the 20th century and lived in New York. In 1927, he first played the undead Count in a theatrical version of Dracula on Broadway. A year later, the show moved to the West Coast. Lugosi then started in American films, most notably his signature portrayal of Dracula in Tod Browning's Universal Studios production of the play.
2) Archie Bunker was the racist patriarch of the Bunker family in Norman Leer's classic All In The Family, a ground-breaking TV show in the 1970s.
3) Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale were enemy agents (from Pottsylvania) who bedeviled Rocky the Flying Squirrel & Bullwinkle J Moose in the classic 1960s cartoons The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.
4) The Brown Derby was a series of supper clubs in Los Angeles in the Golden Age of Hollywood. The restaurant on Wilshire Boulevard was designed to look like a giant derby.
