Author's Note's:
Hey everyone! I wanted to break from my 'Dreamers' story and do a simple one-shot. You can find more of my work on my fanfiction and AO3 accounts under the same name. I hope to eventually publish all my fanfictions on both accounts to grow my fanbase. So please, if you enjoy my work, like, follow, give kudos (AO3), and comment for more. Love ya, guys! Stay awesome!
Warnings: I do not own anything associated with the Dynasty Warriors, the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Novel, or the Koei franchise. Mentions of sex, violence, and character death.
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Summary: Spin-off from 'A Promise Under a Cherry Blossom Tree.' After returning home from her husband, Liu Bei, Lady Sun Shangxiang doubts her capabilities for the next battle. The heaviness of her heart from her decision to side with her family over her beloved husband brings her a pain far too great to bear. BeixShangxaing. One-shot.
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The Loss of One's Beloved
Sun Shangxiang's P.O.V.
"Lord Sun Quan! The young Princess of Wu and former empress of Shu, Lady Shu Shangxiang, has returned!" A nameless soldier announced from his kneeling position.
Before walking in, I took a deep breath and held my head high. I may have returned to a land I once called home, but I felt as if I was walking into enemy territory. Every soldier and noble in the room bowed their heads in respect as my ladies-in-waiting, and I made our way towards my brother's throne.
"Ah, sister. It is good to see that your journey was a safe one." Sun Quan, my brother, smiled as he rose from his throne.
"It is good to see that you are fairing well also, brother," I said as I knelt in front of him.
"You may rise, sister. No need to be so formal with your big brother." He continued to smile. I did as he commanded, but I did not share the same enthusiasm as he. "What ills you, sister? Are you not happy to be back in our homelands?"
"I am sorry to say that this is not a joyous reunion."
His smile faded as he rubbed his hand through his bread and sighed. "I am all too familiar with your feelings about returning home. I am sorry that these were the circumstances of your return, sister. I only wish there could be some other way~."
"Save it for the battlefield, brother. There is no need for us to have this discussion. What's done is done." I calmly said as I stared him in his bright eyes.
The air was heavy as we continued to stare and challenge each other. Before too long, my brother raised his hand and dismissed everyone in the room, including my ladies-in-waiting. It didn't take long for the two of us to be alone before he spoke.
"I've always warned you about your headstrong personality, Shangxiang. You may be the princess of these lands and the former empress of Shu, but I am the ruler of these lands. Challenging me like that would have gotten you executed had you not been my little sister." He glared after removing his royal headpiece.
"Is that a threat, dear brother?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow and folded my arms.
"Of course not. More so of a warning and a scolding." He teased with a smirk.
"I am in no mood for games, Quan. How could you side with Cao Cao and kill my lord's sworn brothers? I expected this barbaric behavior from that tyrant Cao Cao, but not from you."
"How dare you scold me! You do not understand the spoils of war we gained from that battle!"
"I understand that you signed a truce to my lord!" I yelled with my arms now at my sides and my fists shaking. "You knew I had doubts and concerns about my political marriage to Lord Liu Bei. I didn't want to leave you or our homelands and be used as a political pawn. But I did. I did it for our kingdom and for you, brother. I did it because I understood my role in the growth of our kingdom. I am the Princess of Wu and must uphold that duty no matter the cost. However, I never expected some good from this forced union.
I never expected to meet and befriend so many people in the kingdom of Shu. I never thought that I would find happiness somewhere outside of here. I… never thought I would fall in love with Lord Liu Bie. All these things that I thought impossible became possible until you stole them from me. Isn't it bad enough that I'm still dealing with father and brother Ce's death?! And now I had to choose between fighting with my husband lord and fighting with my elder brother?! What is it that you want from me, brother?" I whispered the last part with tears in my eyes.
"I want you to understand me and my reasons for why I sided with Cao Cao. First, I knew that doing so would invite the wrath of Liu Bei and start a war between our lands. The decision was one of the hardest I had to make. I thought about you the entire time. I knew you would be hurt. I cannot tell you how often I reread your letters and cried because I knew I was taking your happiness away. I am also still dealing with our father and brother Ce's death on top of ruling the Wu kingdom. I am this kingdom's pillar of strength. This kingdom's people and my soldiers look to me for answers and guidance. I couldn't put your happiness over that of our kingdom's needs!" He shouted.
"The kingdom's needs?! That's rich. What our kingdom did not need was another war! But now you invited the wrath of my lord and drugged us into an unnecessary conflict because of your decisions!"
"I did what was necessary! I will not be condemned or questioned for my decision. Especially when it is your lord who declared this war." He glared harder.
"Before I left, I tried to reason with my lord. I wanted to make him see reason in his anger. You and I both know that this war will end with you as the victor. The Kingdom of Shu does not have nearly the same resources as ours. If you are the kind ruler everyone makes you out to be, then show some compassion for the weaker kingdom."
"How dare you ask this of me. I am the empire of Wu! I will not back down from a battle because another lord does not know when he is outmatched. If Liu Bei wants this battle, I shall grant his wish, no matter the outcome. I will not allow myself to show weakness because his anger blinded him. All this battle will prove is that a child is not fit to rule an already struggling kingdom."
"You are the one being the child, brother." I glared.
No sooner had those words left my mouth than a loud sound of a smack echoed in the room. My head snapped to the side when his hand hit my cheek. Shocked expressions showed on both our faces as I slowly turned back to face him. Cautiously, I brought my hand up to touch my sore cheek. I could feel the heat spread into the shape of his hand. Brother Quan nervously looked between his hand and my face with wide eyes. I could tell that he wanted to apologize, but the words couldn't find him. Unfortunately, my tears and anger found me.
"I never thought I would say this, but you are a disgrace. You have disgraced the memory of our late father and brother and this kingdom's name. However, you are not the only one. Because of lord Liu Bei's anger, no matter how justified, an unnecessary war will commence, and innocent lives will be taken. Understand something, brother. If I were in lord Liu Bei's position, I would have also declared war on my family's murder despite the consequence. But now, because of the power differences, he will lose more than just his life.
Neither of you has realized the devastation your actions will bring to both kingdoms. It is already bad enough that our father and brother are gone, but now I have to lose my dear husband, brother, and friends. All this pain and devastation… when will it end, Quan? When the skies rain down with the blood of your enemies? Or when the darkness inside of your heart overtakes your mind? Please understand me. I may have returned to your side, but my heart will forever be with Lord Liu Bei, the people of Shu, and the people of Wu. They are who I fight for, and that is all that matters to me now. I hope you are happy, and may the Heavens bring you good fortune in the years to come, Lord Sun Quan."
And with that, I turned to leave. But, before I passed the threshold, I could have sworn I heard a soft apology from my brother. However, I was too angry and upset to turn and confirm. So, instead, I allowed my feet to cry me to my room, where I cried the remainder of the night.
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In the following weeks to come, my brother and I barely said more than a few sentences to each other. If it was not about the Battle of Yi Ling, then we did not speak. I don't know if it was because neither of us had anything to say to each other or because we could not find the right words. Either way, the days of the Battle of Yi Ling approached much too soon for me. However, I was pleasantly shocked when my brother finally came to me last night before bed.
He and I had a long conversation where we mostly apologized to each other. Unfortunately, the discussion after my return held a lot of emotion and misplaced anger. Sun Quan knew that he took the time to think about what I said and wanted to make sure I knew he cared for me. I called him stupid and hugged him. Of course, I knew that he understood, but that did not mean that I couldn't be mad at him.
Since our younger days, Quan has always been very protective of me. There were even times when he would be punished to save me. My bother Sun Ce was like that too. It was nice having brothers to grow up with. They taught me many things about battles and wars, fighting, being a true warrior with a good heart, and the meaning of true strength. I loved each of my brothers and my father. I just wish that we had more time to say it to each other. I think Quan realized this too. He told me last night that we mustn't waste opportunities like this. Being warriors with limited mortality, we never know when is the next time we will say words of affirmation. Therefore we must take the time to tell them while we can. And, even if the other knows precisely how they may be feeling, it is always best to say it out loud. After our discussion, we went to bed with lighter hearts and a clear conscience. It made fighting in this battle slightly less painful.
However, now is where I make my stance. Covered in blood, covered in sweat and tears, torn and ripped clothes, and messy hair with sore hands from wielding my bow and chakrams. I wiped the sweat from my forehead before it stings my eyes as I tried to catch my breath. Multiple deceased soldiers from both kingdoms lay at my feet. The air was thick with despair and hopelessness as the battle raged on. I turn my gaze upward and stare at the cloudy night sky. I could tell that the Heavens were not thrilled with this battle. I sighed in relief, knowing that I was not the only one.
"Lady Sun Shangxiang?" I heard a gentle voice call out. I looked to my right and smiled when I saw Xing Cai running towards me. I returned the smile as she knelt in front of me. "It's good to see that you have faired well during this battle. Although I was not entirely worried."
"You may rise, Xing Cai. There is no need to be so formal with me." Once she stood back up and looked at me, I continued. "It is good to see that you are fairing well too. I am glad I got to see you once more."
"Forgive me, my lady, but I was purposely looking for you. I wanted to see how you were holding up."
I sigh as I run my dirty hands through my short, brown hair. "I must say that I have been better. So far, I have managed. Do you know where Lord Liu Bei resides?"
She nodded before pointing behind her. "He should be coming from the east. He was not too far behind me."
I nodded to her and walked in that direction. "Thank you, Xing Cai. And thank you for escorting me back to my homelands. I am forever indebted to you. Please take care of yourself." She wished me the same luck as she stood there and watched me head in the direction of my love.
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It didn't take me long before I finally reached my beloved Lord Liu Bei. Just like me, he was covered in sweat, grime, dust, and blood. As he cut down one of my fellow Wu soldiers, I could feel the anguish radiating from his body. His labored breathing showed with every rise and fall of his chest. It reminded me of all the times we made love. Silently, I swallowed a lump in my throat before cautiously walking towards him.
It took him a few moments before his wild eyes landed on me. I stopped several meters in front of him and watched as he straightened his posture.
"Lady Shangxiang, you're alive." He whispered.
"Of course I am, silly. There was no way I was going to die before I found you." I smiled gently.
"Seeing you here makes this battle a little easier for me." He said as he reached a hand out towards me. I fought my instincts to grab it, so I took a few steps back and lowered my head. "Shangxiang?"
"You shouldn't be so happy to see me. Unfortunately, I'm your enemy once again." I whispered.
"I know. And, if I could help it, you would be by my side once again." He said as he clenched his fists.
"Why… why do things have to be this way…." I cried as tears fell down my cheeks.
"I… wish I had an answer for you, my love. I am genuinely sorry. I did not mean to bring you grief or cause you to suffer. I never wanted you to be a part of any of this."
"But you knew that I had to choose between you and my brother. I am sorry that I could not stand by your side."
He shook his head. "Do not apologize. I know that it was a difficult decision to make. I am sorry for forcing your hand. Could you ever forgive me?"
"Only if you forgive me for this," I said as I pulled out a bow and arrow and aimed it at him.
"Lady Shangxiang." He called out as he reached out towards me.
"Stay back, or I'll shoot!" I scream as tears form in my eyes. "I am the Princess of Wu. I cannot allow anyone to get near my lord and brother. So please, if you care for me… turn back… please…."
I tried to blink my tears away as I watched him draw his own bow and arrow. "I am sorry, my love, but I cannot grant your request."
"Liu Bei! Shangxiang!" I heard my brother call from behind me. I don't turn around to face him. All I can focus on is not falling apart. "Drop your bow, Liu Bei, or face my wrath!"
"My wrath is the one you will be facing. Because of you, I lost my sworn brothers and my beloved Shangxiang! She had to defect to your side during our conflict!"
"This is all your fault, Liu Bei! You are the reason for my sister's tears! You started this battle and dared to blame me!"
"You were the cause of this battle when you sided with Cao Cao at the Battle of Fan Castle! You took everything from me, and you shall pay!" My husband-lord shouted as he tightened his grip on his bow.
"Both of you, be quiet!" I screamed. "I have had enough! Enough of placing the blame on each other! Both of you share equal parts in the destruction in this battle and forced me into the middle! I have had enough!"
"Shangxiang~" Sun Quan started before I interrupted him.
"Lord Liu Bei… I just wanted you to know that… the time I spent with you was some of the happiest moments of my life. After losing my brother Ce and father, Sun Jian, I thought I would never find happiness again. Thank you for showing me differently. However, as I have stated, I am the Princess of Wu and have a duty to uphold. I will not allow you to bring harm to my brother or kingdom anymore. I implore you to either turn back or be shot down by my arrow."
I watched as his dark eyes shifted between my brother and me. Finally, however, my worst fears were realized when he pulled the bow tighter: he would not back down. I bit my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood as the tears finally slipped down my cheeks.
"Goodbye, my love," I said before releasing my arrow.
But, right before the arrow hit his chest, Lord Liu Bei released his, and it struck me in the same spot. Both of us gasped as our arrows pierced our chests, and pain shot through our bodies. I screamed as I fell to the ground on my back.
"Sun Shang Xiang!" My brother's frantic voice shouted as he ran towards me. I coughed up blood as I continued to lay on my back. "Hold on, sister. I'm going to get you help; just hang on!" He cried as he held me in his arms. "Someone! Anyone! Help us! Please!"
I mustered up enough strength to caress my brother's cheek. His wide eyes looked down at me as more tears dripped onto my smiling face.
"It's ok, Quan. I'll be ok."
"How can you say that? You are not going to be ok. You are going to die, and it is all my fault." He sniffled. "I am an idiot."
"Yes, you are. But you are my idiot." I smiled before coughing up blood and looking off to the side. "Is Lord Liu Bei dead? I cannot see very well. My vision is fading."
I make out my brother's blurry face as he looks over towards my love's still body. When he doesn't say anything, I close my eyes and sigh. "At least, he will be at peace."
"Shangxiang… I am so sorry… I wish I could take it all back… I wish that I had listened to you… I wish you would stay with me… I cannot lose you too…."
I slowly opened my eyes and tried looking at my brother's face before my vision finally faded.
"I know, brother… Just promise me… that you will become… a great ruler…."
I heard him sniffle before he pulled me in closer and kissed my forehead. "I will… Rest easy, little sister. And be sure to give father and brother Ce my love."
As I drew my last breaths, I closed my eyes and lost myself in the feeling of his salty tears and the cold rain hitting my skin. The final sense to leave me was my hearing when my brother's screams faded from my existence. And, before I ascend to the Heavens to be with my elder brother, father, and beloved Lord Liu Bei, I whisper an "I love you" to my brother before the world falls silent.
