Chapter 5 – I Will Always Love You
A few weeks have passed since Donkey committed suicide, and Shrek still can't forgive himself. He sits weeping at Donkey's funeral and blames himself for it all. If only he didn't let Donkey go alone that day. If only he had done something about Barry. If only he never met Donkey in the first place.
The funeral is in a small church. Donkey's family is Christian and had insisted on it. There aren't many people in attendance, but many of them were close to Donkey. None of them expected such a tragedy.
Shrek feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see that it's Fiona trying to comfort him. It doesn't work, but Shrek appreciates the gesture. They sit in silence for some time, until Shrek stands up and walks up to the small memorial at the front of the room. There's no casket since Donkey's body was never found. He was just washed away by the river, as if he was never there.
Shrek comes to a stop in front of Donkey's picture. The last he'll ever see of the man he loved more than anything else in the world. He misses Donkey so much that it hurts. He just wants him back. It's not fair. If he could trade his life for Donkey's, he would do it in an instant. Donkey didn't deserve to die. If only he could've seen that. If only Shrek never hurt him.
Fiona walks up alongside Shrek. "It's not your fault," she says.
"I was going to propose to him at that park," Shrek responds without even looking at her. "I never would've thought that…"
"I know," Fiona says. "I never would've guessed he felt that way either. It's almost feels like that note was written by someone else. I wonder how long he's had to hide his pain."
Shrek pauses for a moment before sighing. "I just wish I could ask him why he never told me about how he felt. Was he scared of me? I don't know what I did wrong to make him think I would get upset at him. I only ever wanted him to be happy…"
They continue to stand there, until finally Shrek is ready to return to his seat. Soon after he sits down, the door to the church creaks open, signaling the late arrival of some distant relative. Shrek would probably feel insulted on Donkey's behalf if he didn't feel so numb. Fiona turns to see who it is and shoots to her feet, a furious look on her face. Shrek looks over his shoulder to see Barry B. Benson walking down the aisle with flowers. He makes his way to the front of the room and sets them down next to Donkey's picture before walking over to Shrek.
"I'm sorry for your loss," he says with an uncharacteristically gentle voice. "How are you holding up, Shrek? You doing okay?"
"Go away, Barry," Shrek says. "I'd rather not have to deal with you right now."
"Shrek, contrary to what you think, I really have changed, and I really do love you," Barry says, remaining unusually calm. "I've accepted that you will never love me back, but I still want to see you happy. Is that too much to ask for?"
Shrek is sure that Barry is up to something. "I don't care, Barry. Now get out of here, before I make you leave," he says, starting to get angry.
"I was just here to see if you're okay," Barry says, looking disappointed. "I know how I felt when I lost the man I loved. I couldn't just leave you to deal with alone. I'm not sure why you hate me so much, Shrek."
Shrek loses it at that. "Maybe it has something to do with you harassing me, and then following me home to harass me some more. Maybe it has something to do with Donkey killing himself as soon as you show up in town! Maybe it has something to do with you trying to kill me, four years ago!" Shrek almost yells in rage.
"Have you ever considered that that was self-defense, Shrek?" Barry says. "What was I supposed to do about an angry ogre who's more than twice my height? You can easily kill me with your bare hands, Shrek. Have you ever considered that I had to live in fear of you? That Donkey lived in fear of you? Maybe that's part of why he ended it."
Shrek suddenly feels himself go cold. "No… That's not… But Donkey loved me!"
Fiona, who had been trying not to get involved, suddenly spoke up. "This has gone on long enough," she says, before directing her attention to Barry. "Get the fuck out or the only thing left of you will be a stain this floor."
Barry nods and walks out of the building, still just as smug as when he entered. Fiona then turns back to Shrek. "Are you alright?" she asks. He doesn't respond. "It wasn't your fault. Remember that, Shrek. No one knew about Donkey's suffering. And it certainly wasn't caused by you."
Shrek just sighs. "I need some time alone, Fiona," he says before starting towards to door. Fiona just nods as Shrek leaves the church and drives off. Shrek doesn't want her to know where he's going. What he's about to do. He already knows she'll blame herself, but he simply can't live with himself. He doesn't even deserve to live.
About ten minutes later, Shrek arrives at the Duloc Waterfall Park. The place where Donkey ended his own life.
And where Shrek will end his, too.
