"I'm sorry, El. I'm so sorry."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
They waded silently in the deep snow, only the wind howled and snowflakes spun wildly around them. Cassidy leaned on Fin and Munch's shoulders with both arms, Olivia walked ahead and made a path at the same time. The wading in the snow had made her muscles warm, but her heart was frozen. With each step, she wanted more to return and continue searching for Elliot. However, that was not an option now. Suddenly her leg sank into a pit and she fell on her knees to the snow. She felt the adrenaline begin to fade, and along with that the pain started to intensify. She was both physically and mentally on the edge.
"Liv, everything okay?" There was Fin's voice behind her. However, she had no strength or will to respond.
"No, nothing's okay," she thought inside her mind. "I can't do this, nothing matters anymore."
"Liv?"
Olivia wanted to cry, but she had run out of tears. Her mind was numb, and the only thing she could think of was how she had betrayed her partner. "You consciously left him to death," said a voice inside her head. "Maybe he's still alive but isn't able to move and will freeze to death just because you left him there."
"Ugly children become bad as adults."
"James was right," she thought. "And Elliot was wrong. You can't run from your genes. They determine you."
"Olivia!" Cassidy's voice brought her back to reality. His voice was trembling alarmingly. "Are you okay?"
Olivia finally turned to look at him. Cassidy's lips were bluish and he was trembling fiercely. Fin had given him his coat, but it didn't help much. "What do you think?" Olivia muttered and forced herself up to her feet. Then they continued their slow path.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
After about an hour, they collapsed to the snow exhaustedly. They had walked relentlessly forward, but there was only endless forest everywhere.
"This is it," Olivia thought. "This is our end." She sighed and let her head sink into the snow. "But at least I don't have to live without Elliot." She closed her eyes and felt the urge of sleep take over her body. "This is not good, not good at all," she thought. However, she hadn't strength to resist anything anymore. But then she heard a voice.
"Liv."
The sound was muffled and distant, but Olivia's eyes opened rapidly. She laid motionless, not sure if she had heard the delusions.
"Liv!"
It can't be…
"El?" The whisper was barely audible. She tried to look around but saw no one.
"Liv, you have to keep going, you have to."
"I can't," Olivia sobbed. "It's over."
"Nothing's over before the heart stops. You have to keep going."
"El, where are you?"
However, there wasn't an answer, only the wind howled around Olivia. "Please don't leave me… Elliot!" She stood up and looked around, but there was only a forest everywhere. She was already collapsing back to the ground when suddenly her heart paused. There was something among the trees and it looked definitely like a wall.
"Guys, there's something," Olivia turned to look at the others. However, they did not respond, so she started to wade towards what she saw. The closer she got, the less she could believe her eyes. A laugh of relief escaped Olivia's lips as she realized what she had found.
"Hey guys, guys!" Olivia stumbled back to the others and shook Cassidy and Fin's shoulders. "I found a cottage."
With their last strength, they lifted up the half-unconscious Cassidy and started to wade towards the building. Every step was an achievement and the short journey felt like a small eternity. Eventually, however, they arrived at the building, and realized it really was a cottage.
"This has to be some kind of an unlocked hut for hunters," Fin managed to say despite his furiously clattering teeth. Then Cassidy sighed in pain and this gave the others momentum. The door wasn't locked and they rumbled in. With a quick glance, they noticed the fireplace, and Munch took over.
"Olivia, check out if there are any blankets. Fin, look for firewood."
"But do we have matches? Fin asked desperately. Munch looked at him in disappointment.
"Didn't you know you always have to keep matches with you?" He snorted and dug a matchbox out of the side pocket of his jacket. Fin's eyes widened.
"John Munch, I could kiss you."
"Thank you for your kindness but I'll pass."
Olivia found a blanket from the bed of the cottage and a thick coat from the hanger, and at the same time Fin had found firewood, which he placed in the fireplace. Olivia helped disoriented Cassidy sit against the wall and wear a jacket. Then she sat next to him and wrapped a blanket around them.
"Let's hope that there is no bird's nest in the flue. I don't know our exact location, and I'm not a Canada expert, but I don't think there have been a congestion of visitors here," he said, lighting a match. Despite the suspicions, he managed to light a fire in the fireplace with a small support. Fin and Munch also sat down by the fireplace, and everyone watched together as the flames began to lick the firewood, and a happy crackle of fire filled the cottage. Cassidy leaned on Olivia eyes closed, and gradually the warmth began to creep into her limbs. However, it did not reach her heart, and as she listened to Cassidy's heavy breathing, Olivia suddenly realized she wished Elliot had been in his place. The thought made her startle.
"No," said the voice inside her head. "What's wrong with you?! There is no way you can hope that your boyfriend is dead instead of your friend."
"I don't wish he was dead. I just wish Elliot wasn't dead either," another voice replied.
"Elliot isn't dead," the third voice said. "He can't be."
"He can't be or you don't want him to be? There is a significant difference, and you know which one is true."
"No."
"You know he's dead, and it's your fault. He wanted to save you, and that's why he's dead. Without you, he would be alive."
"No, shut up!" Olivia wanted to scream.
"And if he wasn't dead before, he is now because you left him there. You betrayed him!"
"SHUT UP!" Olivia pressed her hands to her ears.
"Liv?" There was Fin's worried voice. "You okay?"
Olivia opened her eyes and noticed tears running down her cheeks. She hadn't noticed that she had started to cry, and quickly wiped her eyes.
"I'm fine," she heard herself say, even though nothing of it was true. Her world was collapsing, and the more her body warmed, the colder her heart felt.
"You saved us, you know," Fin's gaze was warm. Olivia looked at him in surprise. "You found this cottage when we were just giving up. You saved us."
Olivia remained silent and turned her gaze into the flames. Then a tear rolled down her cheek.
"But I didn't save Elliot."
