This story probably has a shelf-life of three to four days max. It's set between Episodes 4 and 5 of Season 2, so I'm assuming that the release of Episode 5 will render it irrelevant. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at enduring the week-long wait between episodes (thank you very much Netflix for ruining me in that regard). In most cases, my brain really wants to continue the story. This piece is the result of that impatience.
If you haven't watched Episode 4 of Season 2 yet, you may want to steer clear of this one. Otherwise, thanks for reading!
"Captain Carter, you are here very early," Alison noted, seating herself upon the edge of the drawing room chair. It was hardly worth committing to a more comfortable position. She did not intend to be there for very long.
"I came as soon as I could get away from camp this morning," he stammered. "I had to see you . . . to tell you . . . . I had to try and make you understand why I did what I did."
"I understand your motives perfectly. You lied to me with the aim of portraying yourself as a far better man than you actually are."
"I should have been more open with you," he said. "What you must understand, though, Alison—"
"You may call me Miss Heywood."
"Miss Heywood," he amended, looking duly chastened and utterly defeated. "I only wanted to show you that I was worthy of your affection and admiration. I wanted to prove to you that I could be the husband you deserve."
"You attempted to prove that you're worthy of an honest commitment by pretending to be someone you are not? That is certainly an interesting strategy—and one that could not possibly have ended well for you. What did you imagine would happen after we were married? Did you not suspect that I would learn the truth once we were living beneath the same roof?"
"I was only trying to make you happy, Ali—Miss Heywood."
"And in the end, you have managed to achieve exactly the opposite," she informed him in a dispassionate tone. She now saw this man for who he truly was—a mere boy with grand designs of one day becoming a man. Unfortunately for him, he was deficient in most of the qualities necessary to achieve his goal. Alison now felt rather certain that Captain Carter was destined to live a life steeped in mediocrity. He simply lacked the ambition to elevate himself beyond that. She only wished she had realized the truth before expending so much effort on her ill-fated infatuation with him.
"I only wanted to be the hero that you deserve," he proclaimed, far too grandly for her taste. How had she never noticed that he possessed such a strong penchant for melodrama?
"A true hero exists because of who he is at his very core—not because of a persona he creates for himself. You attempted to paint yourself as a nobler being than you are. That does not make you a hero, Captain Carter. It makes you deceitful."
"If I had admitted the truth sooner, perhaps things might have been different." The suggestion was laced with a healthy outpouring of passion, but to Alison's ears, his plea sounded far closer to a whine than anything that might actually persuade her to offer him a second chance. "Fraser urged me to tell you the truth," he muttered. "I should have listened to him. Then, we might have found ourselves in better circumstances at this very moment."
"I doubt that very much. Of course, if you had heeded his advice, I would not have been left floundering in a pond while you sat idly by and watched me drown," she pointed out and had the pleasure of watching him wince. "But aside from that, you would have only been prolonging the inevitable. What I have learned, Captain Carter, is that you and I are incompatible. You are not the person I assumed you to be, and I will even go so far as to admit that I have been complicit in this deception. I wanted you to be that person so mightily that I was willing to see him in you despite ample evidence to the contrary. It all seems glaringly obvious to me now."
"But I firmly believe that I can be that man," he insisted. "You want a poet. I can learn to love poetry."
"You do not enjoy poetry?" she groaned. Of course, he had been lying about that, as well. She had assumed as much, but even still, she had entertained a fleeting hope that the fabrications might have been limited to his military exploits alone.
"As I said, I can learn to enjoy it. All that is required is that I make an attempt to read more."
"Then, it is as I suspected," she admitted, feeling glum. "Your letters were not a true depiction of your character and interests, were they?"
"In so far as they expressed sentiments that I wished to convey to you, they were a true depiction of who I am."
"How did you do it?" she demanded. "How did you manage to craft such beautiful letters? Your letters convinced me that you and I would make a good match. They're the reason that I imagined we could be happy together in marriage. Did you even write them?"
His pause was considerable. Finally, he admitted, "I had help."
"I should have guessed," she ground out, not bothering to ask him for any further details. She was able to supply the remainder herself. There had been a third party, she was sure. As her mind quickly sifted through the events of the past months, she even began to suspect who that third party had been.
Abruptly, she stood, forcing him to do the same as she said, "Some day, I pray that you will find the strength inside of you to be a more substantive person. I will even go so far as to wish you the best of luck in the pursuit of such a future for yourself. But for now, I beg you not to visit me again."
He sighed and walked toward the door, finally impressing her with his insightfulness. For all of his shortcomings, Captain Carter was apparently self-aware enough to realize when his presence was no longer wanted.
"Miss Alison, you have a visitor. It's a Captain, I believe," the Parker's maid announced from the bedroom doorway. Alison had been attempting to pen a letter to one of her younger sisters, and upon hearing the news, she laid the quill on the desk and sighed.
"Tell him I will be down directly," she grumbled, determined to make Captain Carter wait. She had asked him not to call on her and before the expiration of two hours, here was the man on her doorstep again.
Ten minutes passed before she finally slid her chair away from the desk and left the room, dreading yet another unpleasant encounter with the duplicitous Captain Carter. As she descended the staircase to the foyer, however, she realized that her guest was not, in fact, Captain Carter.
It was Captain Fraser. With his hat tucked into the crook of his arm, he offered a subtle bow that invoked an audible sigh of relief from Alison.
"Oh, good," she said as a small smile grazed her lips. "I'm glad it is you."
"Not the reaction I expected," he admitted, furrowing his brow.
"The maid said that a Captain was here to see me, and I thought Captain Carter had returned. If I had known it was you, I would not have made you wait so long."
"I came to inquire after your health," he explained. "Are you fully recovered from the events of yesterday?"
"Of course. I'm fine," she assured him. "I'm hardly a wilting violet, you know."
"Believe me, Miss Heywood, I would never presume to refer to you as a wilting anything."
"I'm sure it's a rare young lady who can be wrenched from the arms of death in one moment and storm away in an angry tirade in the next," she laughed.
That, at last, earned a smile from him. "Rare, indeed," he agreed, nodding his head. "But are you certain that you're all right?"
"Yes. I've just told you that I am. Do I look as if I'm suffering, Captain Fraser?"
"Not a bit," he conceded.
"In fact, I was even in possession of enough stamina to eject Captain Carter from the house when he called on me earlier this morning. I told him not to come back."
"Well, you needn't worry about him paying you another visit. At least not today."
"How can you be so certain that he won't?"
"Because he's been assigned to a special project," he informed her, "and I believe it is one for which he is uniquely suited."
"What sort of project is that?" she asked in a more spirited tone, enjoying the now-familiar rhythm of their banter. She dearly hoped Captain Carter had been forced to submit to some sordid degradation. In her mind, he deserved nothing less. "Or are you not allowed to tell me?"
"Latrines, Miss Heywood," he said, looking smug. "It would seem that they were in need of a thorough cleaning. It didn't take much to convince Colonel Lennox that Captain Carter was the perfect soldier for the job.
"He's also being transferred to another unit as soon as the papers can be processed," Captain Fraser added.
"Well, I won't be sorry to see him go, although I regret that his departure will deprive you of your friend."
Captain Fraser watched her intently, and Alison knew that he was examining her for any fissures. "You won't miss him when he's gone?"
"I don't think I shall," she said. "I'm sure you will find that surprising."
"I do."
"Captain Carter was not the man I believed him to be. I am disappointed, to be sure, but it was all just a grand ruse—an apparition. How can I possibly miss something that I never had in the first place?"
"That is a very good point," he conceded, although his expression clearly told her that he was skeptical.
When the sound of footsteps on the stairs behind her captured Alison's attention, she casually glanced back at Charlotte and Georgiana. They were dressed to go out, which recalled to mind that the three of them had planned to walk along the promenade before a predicted early afternoon storm overtook Sanditon.
"Captain Fraser," Charlotte said as she descended the stairs toward them. Her words were infused with warmth. "I understand that we have you to thank for saving my sister's life."
"Any man would have done the same," he answered.
"And yet," Georgiana observed, "your fellow officer sat in the boat like a limp fish while Alison nearly drowned."
"Georgiana is right," Charlotte insisted. "You must allow yourself to be thanked. I shudder to think what might have happened to Alison if you had not intervened."
"I prefer not to consider what could have happened," he said. "Miss Heywood is safe now, and that is the only thing that matters."
"That may be," Alison conceded, "but it does not change the fact that I failed to thank you yesterday, Captain Fraser. I was angry, and I felt foolish, but that is no excuse for neglecting to express my appreciation. Although it is late in coming, please know that my gratitude is very real."
He appeared to have nothing to say in response, and Alison suspected that perhaps the appreciation of three females in concert had overwhelmed him. Here, she told herself, was a man who was clearly not accustomed to being the object of so much female adoration. Something about that observation raised him significantly in her estimation.
"We were planning to go out for a walk," Charlotte announced. "Would you like to join us, Captain Fraser?"
Again, he made no audible response. A single nod was the only confirmation that he afforded them.
"Good," Alison heard herself say, and it surprised her to realize that she did not entirely hate the thought of having Captain Fraser with them on their walk. In fact, if forced to engage in a more thorough inspection of her feelings on the subject, she might have been pressed into admitting that she found the new development somewhat intriguing. "I'll get my coat so that we may go," she told them, deciding that she would also wear her lavender bonnet—the one that Mary described as a "perfect complement to her complexion."
"Will any other officers be transferred away from Sanditon?" Alison asked Captain Fraser as they distanced themselves from Trafalgar House. While readying herself for their walk, a new concern had seated itself in her mind, and it was one that left her feeling rather uncomfortable, as it turned out.
"At present, Captain Carter is the only transfer," he informed her. "Would you wish for the departure of others, as well?"
"No," she said carefully, glancing over her shoulder. Determining that her sister and Georgiana trailed them at a sufficient distance, she said, "I am glad to know that it is only Captain Carter who will be leaving. Charlotte, for instance, has struck up a friendship with Colonel Lennox. It would be a shame to see that come to an end so soon."
"Very true," he acknowledged.
"And there are others whom I would miss, as well," she divulged, feeling emboldened by recent experiences—and new suspicions.
"Is that so?" he asked, and she knew that she did not mistake the interest in his tone. To be certain, she detected a heavy thread of disbelief, but at the same time, she could also tell that her vague admission had captured his attention. Surely, he must be aware that she was intimately acquainted with only a few officers in the Regiment.
"Captain Fraser, may I ask you something?"
"You may," he said, infusing a noted amount of caution into his tone.
"And might I also expect an honest answer to my question?"
"That depends upon what you ask of me."
"Do you mean to say that you would lie to me if you knew that I would not appreciate hearing your truth?"
"No, I wouldn't lie to you," he said. "I might decide not to answer, though."
"And what sort of reason would prompt you to defer an answer?"
"It would depend upon the circumstances, but if, for example, I felt that the truth would be inconsequential to you and would likely only make things more difficult, I might choose not to answer a question when you asked it. But make no mistake. I wouldn't lie to you, Miss Heywood.
"I regret that I wasn't more forthcoming with you about Captain Carter's deception," he continued. "I found myself caught in a difficult situation—one that I wish I had handled differently. Your reproof beside the pond yesterday was well earned."
"I'm not sure that it was," she confessed. "You did try to warn me about him—however cryptic your warning may have been. I was the one who chose not to listen. And even Captain Carter admitted that you had urged him to tell me the truth."
Captain Fraser cocked an eyebrow. "He did?"
"It was mentioned as more of an aside as he berated himself for his own bad judgment," she said, dismissing any suggestion that Captain Carter had actually made an attempt to absolve his friend of blame. She knew that had not been his intention.
"Did he tell you anything else about my involvement?"
"No, not directly," she admitted. Here was a line of questioning that Alison was definitely interested in pursuing.
As Captain Fraser appeared to relax beside her, Alison considered the very best strategy for boxing him into a corner. Finally, she said, "Captain Fraser, you never allowed me to ask my question. I am interested in hearing your opinion about a particular matter that has piqued my curiosity."
"Is it a specific matter or are you speaking in more general terms?"
"That remains to be seen," she concluded. His gait matched hers perfectly, and Alison decided that she liked having him beside her. "And so I ask you, Captain Fraser. . . what would be your opinion of a man who stood in the shadows of a far less worthy man, all the while allowing the less worthy man to gain an undeserved advantage over him and even on occasion, going so far as to assist the less worthy man in the furtherance of his pursuit? Why do you suppose a man might do a thing like that?"
"I could hardly speculate as to another man's motivations, Miss Heywood."
"Please," she urged him. "I would dearly like to hear your thoughts on the subject."
"Very well," he sighed. "I might guess that he believed the pursuit to be far beyond his reach."
"But why would he believe that?" she pressed.
"I imagine his beliefs would be based upon his own observations. Perhaps, he even came to believe that the other man would be better suited to the pursuit in question."
"And that is why he would help the less worthy individual to gain an undeserved advantage?"
"Yes. And maybe by channeling his own desires through that other individual, he could unburden his own soul in furtherance of the other man's quest."
"Well, if that were true, it sounds like a very selfless gesture with the potential to cause the worthier man quite a lot of pain."
"Yes, it does sound like that," he agreed, "but sometimes there's nothing to be done about a particular situation. We must bear it as best we can."
Between them, an extended silence stretched like an elastic band pulled taut. Alison did not know what to say, and she imagined that he felt equally as stymied. "But what if the far more suitable man was wrong?" she asked at last, allowing impulse to be her guide. "What if there was a chance that he might succeed?"
As she'd suspected, that particular question earned her a dubious, yet marginally hopeful, glance from her walking companion. From her perspective, he also appeared to be a man who had mislaid his composure or—as he'd once described himself—a man "undone."
"I ne'er was struck before that hour/With love so sudden and so sweet," she said, leaving the next line open to see what he might do with it.
"Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower/And stole my heart away complete," he supplied effortlessly, his eyes never leaving hers. As the moment unfurled between them, Alison sensed that something had finally slipped into its rightful place. She felt as if she finally understood this man who had confounded her so much since their first meeting. Like an arrow piercing a target, the emotions she experienced were altogether different from anything she'd known before, and although she still couldn't label them precisely, her brief detour with Captain Carter had already been reduced to little more than a mild flirtation by comparison.
"Captain Fraser, are you nervous?" she teased him, sensing that she had managed to gain the upper hand.
He swallowed, and his voice sounded almost hoarse as he said, "I am, Miss Heywood."
"But why?" she asked.
"I suspect that you know the answer to that question."
"I suspect that I do," she conceded. "Did you not say that I was wise?"
"I never imagined that you would be looking at me in that way," he said.
She smiled up at him from beneath the rim of her lavender bonnet. "And what way is that?"
"As if I matter to you."
"Does that mean you will ask me for a dance this evening at the party?"
"Yes, Miss Heywood. That is exactly what that means."
