The day had finally come, I had always heard about this day, my parents, my older brother, my friends, and even the factionless told me about the test that I would take that would tell me what faction to choose. My mother had cut his hair earlier in the day, just to make sure that I looked presentable enough for the choosing ceremony, though she wished that she didn't have to. But before I could choose which faction I would have to take the aptitude test, which is held in the school, I walked alone to the brick building on the south side of the city, though I had been told about this day all his life I was never told what to expect once the test had started. I thought that I should be nervous, it's what an Abnegation should feel in a situation like this but I felt oddly prepared and confident.
The school day went on as normal until lunch which is when the aptitude tests are administered, the students shuffle into the cafeteria and sit and wait until their name is called. They were told that they would eat after their test when my name is called along with another member of Abnegation, a girl named Cecelia Johnson. I get directed to a room at the very back of the school, when I walked into the room I notice the mirror on one wall, a woman behind a desk, and a chair in the middle of the room.
"I'm Tori, I'll be administering your test today." I acknowledge her with a nod of my head, I look to the mirror. I got one minute to look in the mirror a day and yet I thought that wasn't enough, unlike every other Abnegation I embraced vanity though I wouldn't consider myself vain. I wished that I could look in the mirror more than once a day, I never knew if I looked a mess or not. As an Abnegation my first thought should not be myself but I couldn't help the thoughts that filled my mind. "You're the first stiff I've had today that actually looked in the mirror." Tori chuckles,
"I guess I'm not like the others."
"That's what we are here to find out. Take a seat." I sit in the chair in the middle of the room and settle into it so my back is resting against the back of the chair. Tori comes back with a shot glass of clear liquid, "Take this." I don't question and down the drink.
The next thing I know is that I am in an open room with a mirror on one wall and clones of myself in a line behind me, one of the clones speaks up.
"Choose one before it's too late." The clone points to two dishes in the center of the room, one holds a steak and the other holds a large hunting knife. Before thinking I take the knife and turn in a circle, waiting for what is to come. The two dishes disappear and a growling dog appears in front of me with about 20 feet in between them. I am an animal lover but I knew what I had to do, as the dog starts to run at me I twirl the knife to get a good grip on it and run at the dog. A tearing sound echoes around the room, I feel a warm liquid that I identify as blood splatter across my body.
Suddenly I'm back in the testing room with Tori who has a sly smile across her face, I get up from the chair and look at the woman decked out in black.
"What are my results?"
"Dauntless without a doubt." A smile graces my face as I leave the room, though I tried I couldn't hide the happiness flowing through my body. I knew that I wasn't Abnegation, it never felt wrong to be a part of the stiffs, they were too selfless, and no matter how hard I tried it didn't come naturally to me. I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of forgetting oneself and only thinking of others, how could a group of people dedicate their lives to helping others. I thought it was noble of them but I didn't understand it and couldn't bring myself to do it for the rest of my life.
Instead of going straight home, I run to the old baseball field which hasn't been used since before the wall was put up, it was my old training grounds. Since I was an Abnegation I had to hide the fact that I was training, it wasn't a selfless act for another, therefore, frowned upon by my faction. So I always wore clothes that were one size too big to hide the effects of my workouts and training. The only one that ever knew that I trained at the old baseball field was my older brother, Tobias Eaton. I flop down on my back to look at the sky, another smile crosses my face when I realize that I will be able to reunite with my brother the next day, it had been two years since I had seen Tobias and I wondered how much my brother has changed.
I think back to when Tobias and I were younger, how I looked up to my brother. Tobias had always seemed like a natural Abnegation, I envied that about my brother but it turns out that it was all a façade, my brother was a natural Dauntless that showed characteristics of Abnegation because he was raised by two Abnegation. Tobias could fake it for as long as he wanted which is the only reason that I ever resented him in any fashion. As I reminisced on my childhood I hadn't realized that a dark cloud was forming over the city, a storm was coming and by the looks of it, it was going to be big. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I was only ripped away from them when the rain started to fall, the drops soaking through the grey clothes that I wore easily. My route home is one ingrained in my mind, I knew all the shortcuts of the city to get home in the fastest time possible.
I make sure that the door doesn't slam on my way into my house, my mother glances at the door but shakes her once she sees that it is only her son that has returned and not her husband. I run up the stairs two at a time to get to my room, the less time around my mother alone the better, and besides I needed to change since my clothes got wet on the way home. I open my closet to the same drab grey clothes that I wear every day, oh how I wished to dress in any other color. Grey is a very bland color to me, I felt as though it showed no emotion which was perfect for Abnegation. I flop on my bed and wait for time to pass. Everyone's schedule stayed the same from day to day so I knew exactly when my father would be home from work and when my mother would call everyone down for dinner. Soon enough I hear the front door close and a few minutes later my mother calls me down for dinner.
"Tomorrow is your big day and it is your choice to choose whatever faction you want to but please do not pick Abnegation." My mother, Evelyn says as she puts my plate in front of me.
"Wasn't planning on it," I mumble,
"What was that?" My father questioned.
"I wasn't planning on picking Abnegation, I don't fit in around here so hopefully I'll find my place somewhere else." We fall silent as we continue to eat their dinner, like most nights we rather only hear the clinking of forks than talk to each other. Things had changed since Tobias had chosen his faction, he was the mediator of the family and once he had left everything had crumbled. I didn't expect anything else to happen. I knew that our parents had resentment towards me for many reasons and the only reason things remained civil is that Tobias was still with the family and he protected me from anyone including our parents. Dinner was over soon, I wash my dish before retreating to my room, there wasn't much of a reason for me to stay downstairs with my parents. I set out an outfit of grey pants, grey boxers and socks, and a grey t-shirt for tomorrow, I would only have time to shower, eat, and get dressed before the ceremony began. As I lay down on my bed I can hear the hushed voices of my parents talking downstairs, I tried to zone them out but when they mention my older brother's name and I couldn't help but eavesdrop.
"Let's hope for Tobias's sake that he doesn't choose Dauntless. Tobias doesn't need another thing to worry him while training the recruits to Dauntless." Apparently, Tobias had been communicating with our parents but not with me. I let a sigh escape my lips as I flip to my side,
"As long as he doesn't choose Abnegation. I'm sick of our neighbors telling us that our son is defective for not being able to be selfless." My father says rather roughly, I hear footsteps coming up the stairs and there is a soft knock at my door. I tell the person to come in and my father comes into my room.
"Alexander," He drifts off while looking at the floor, it was almost if my father was trying to piece together what he wanted to say. "It's unfair the way that your mother and I have treated you all of your life. You didn't choose to be born into Abnegation and you don't have any of the traits of Abnegation," I had no idea where my father was going with this but I don't interrupt. "Tomorrow is a big day for you and I want you to choose whichever faction you feel as though you fit in. The Aptitude test helps you choose but the choice is all up to you." He turns to leave my room, "I'm sorry son." I didn't know how to respond to my father, I had never heard my father be so open with anything let alone apologize. It felt unreal as my father left his room, I digested everything my father said as the door closes. Maybe my father was asking forgiveness or maybe it was just some form of release to make my father feel less guilty for his actions for the past 16 years. I doubted that my mother would do anything like my father had done, unlike my father my mother actually resented her youngest son, she never cared for me and I doubt she ever will even if I died.
As I settle into my bed I couldn't help but wonder what was to come tomorrow, I knew what Tobias's choosing ceremony had entailed but something in my gut told me that tomorrow would be different. Before I knew it my eyes were fluttering closed and I drift off to sleep.
