Dying
"Hey, any change?" Jude asked, walking into the hospital waiting room just after sunrise, noticing Thea was sitting with a coffee.
"No." Thea shook her head, "Mom and dad are in there with her. Probably trying to convince her to sleep." She nodded.
"When did you come back?" Jude asked, sitting down beside her.
"About half an hour ago." Thea nodded, "I couldn't sleep much anyway. Dominic is with the kids. His brother is gonna cover his shift for the day."
"That's good." Jude said, digging into her purse, pulling out a single foiled pill as Thea watched her swallow it over with the bottle of water she'd got from the vending machine on her way in.
"What have you been up to?" Thea raised her eyebrows.
"It's just an antihistamine. For my allergies." Jude shrugged as Thea looked at her. She knew when Jude was lying. She always had, even since they were little girls. She was a horrible liar.
"Oh, really?" Thea nodded, "You think you can disguise the morning after pill from me? I'm a doctor. And… I'm not unfamiliar with it." She rolled her eyes.
"It's for my allergies. Let's just leave it at that." Jude shook her head.
"In mom and dad's house?" Thea tutted with disappointment, "You're turning wild in your old age."
"Stop. I'm not talking about it." Jude made clear.
"Don't beat yourself up about it. It's the best way to relieve stress." Thea shrugged. The least of her worries right now was her sister sleeping with her husband. Although she did know it was a little more complex than that, "And I'm assuming you haven't got any since you guys split up… which is like? Six months?" She turned to Jude who nodded.
"I feel guilty about it." Jude whispered.
"Why?" Thea shook her head.
"Because." Jude shrugged, "Because I'm still mad at him. I still hate him for what he did to me and now what? I'm just gonna be the pushover who lets it slide cause she can't face being alone?" She questioned.
"It's not being a pushover." Thea said, "You guys still have shit to work on but at least you know things are still… sparking between you both." He nodded, "Unless the sex was bad." She turned to Jude.
"No, it wasn't bad." Jude sighed.
"Stop being so hard on yourself. It's annoying." Thea shook her head.
"He's gonna think I'm gonna take him back now. But I'm not… that's not what this was about." She said, "I just felt alone and… upset." She shook her head, "And he's always there if things go wrong."
"It's all about who we turn to when we're struggling." Thea nodded, "Maybe you're more clear about how you feel about him now? How you see your future?"
"No, I'm not." Jude sighed, "I guess my problems just seem so minor compared to what Cassie is going through." She shook her head as Thea nodded.
"Do you remember when we did her hair and make-up for her prom?" Thea smiled as Jude nodded.
"Yeah she looked amazing. How did she not have a date?" Jude shook her head.
"Cause she didn't want one." Thea smiled, "I wish I was as sure of myself as she is. She's just like mom. With more height." She added as Jude smiled.
"How do we prepare ourselves for this?" Jude sighed worriedly, "If… if the worst happens?" She turned to Thea. It was all what they were thinking about in their heads and dreading to say out loud. If things went the worst way for Theo they knew their sister would need more than just support. She'd need people to lean on.
"We just gotta be there for her." Thea nodded, watching as their father emerged from the hospital room, making his way over to them and sitting down across tiredly.
"You should go get some sleep." Jude said, "We'll stay with her." She nodded.
"I'm alright." Punk shook his head, "She's finally fell asleep in there, on the chair." He nodded to them.
"Is there any sort of improvement in his condition?" Jude asked as Punk shook his head.
"No." Punk said, "And I think the more time goes by-"
"Yeah." Thea nodded as he looked across at her, "If he's solely relying on machines for over a certain amount of time, they'll ask Cassie about… turning them off." She said as Punk leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he ran his hands over his face.
"You guys seen his dad?" Punk asked, swallowing the lump in his throat.
"No." Jude shook her head as Thea also shook her head, "Cassie still won't let him in the room?" She asked.
"No." Punk said.
"It's his son." Thea sighed.
"She gets the say in it." Punk told them both, "If she thinks that Theo wouldn't want him around, she has every right to tell him to leave." He nodded.
"I didn't know their relationship was so tough." Thea admitted, "I just thought they were kinda distant cause he lived elsewhere."
"I don't know much of the details either. But I trust Cassie to make the call." Punk said as they nodded, "How you doing?" He asked Thea.
"Yeah I'm alright." Thea shrugged, "It's still a blur. I think when you're that frightened in the moment, afterwards you kinda forget about everything." She nodded, "I did do everything I could." She said. She felt as though she had to keep saying it to people, to assure herself she really did do all she could.
"We know you did." Punk assured her, "I heard the four other people that you helped are doing pretty good." He smiled.
"And the seven dead ones?" Thea asked.
"That's not anything you could have helped." Punk shook his head.
"He just lost so much blood so quickly." Thea shook her head, still feeling like her hands had blood on them somehow.
"What did this guy even want? I mean… clearly he's insane and there's no logical reason to explain what happened but… what was the motive?" Jude asked.
"As far as I know, Theo busted a case ten years ago and put this guy in prison. He's a white supremacist. Had a following in Joliet." Punk nodded, "He attacked a black woman in the street, put her in hospital." He explained as Thea shook her head angrily.
"So he was mad Theo put him away?" Jude asked.
"Extra mad cause he's not white." Punk added.
"What kind of world do we even live in?" Thea shook her head, "It's sick."
"I agree." Punk nodded, "At times it's like we're regressing." He shook his head angrily.
"Mom dealt with this shit, didn't she?" Jude asked as Punk nodded.
"She called me one time when I was at work. We were still young." Punk said, "You were just a baby." He nodded to Thea, "Someone yelled out their car, go back where you came from." He said.
"If anyone said that shit to me I would beat the shit out of them." Thea nodded.
"See, your mom had that attitude back then too. She would fight anyone who disrespected her. But… when she heard that kind of stuff, she used to just call me crying." He shook his head, "It just hurt her differently." He said.
"It's just not fair." Jude shook her head as Punk nodded.
"Where is Sean?" Punk asked her.
"Uh he was… he was checking in at the police station." Jude nodded, even though it wasn't entirely true. She'd slipped out of bed with Sean around an hour ago, leaving him sleeping after their moment of passion.
"I'm glad he came out here with you." Punk nodded civilly.
"So is she." Thea mumbled as Jude pinched her thigh discretely.
"Dad, do you want me to get you something to eat?" Jude nodded, standing up from the chair.
"Actually I'm alright, I shook the vending machine a few hours ago and I got myself a free kit-kat." He nodded proudly as Thea and Jude looked at him with shame.
"No, I'll get you something real to eat." Jude rolled her eyes, wandering off from the waiting room as Thea sat across from Punk.
"Did you get much sleep?" Punk asked her, "Stupid question, I know."
"I think I passed out for an hour and then I was awake again." Thea shook her head, "Going over everything in my head."
"You did everything you possibly could. Those injured people are real lucky you were there." Punk nodded seriously, "And Cassie thinks you were really brave."
"Well that's something, coming from her." Thea nodded with a smile, "You being mean to Theo's dad?" She asked him.
"No." Punk shook his head, "It's really none of my business what his relationship is like with his son. But I think it's safe to say it's not good, and Cassie has every right to make the call." He nodded, "But… that is his son." He understood sadly, "I think he's lingering outside."
"I'm worried about Cassie." Thea nodded.
"I am too." Punk said.
"I doubt anyone deals with losing their husband well but she's… it's not gonna be good." Thea shook her head.
"We've not lost him yet." Punk said, "I know you wanna prepare yourself for the worst. I have been too." He admitted truthfully, "Thinking about what the hell I'm supposed to say to Cassie? How we even deal with this kind of thing?" He nodded, "But he's still here."
"I see things like this all the time, dad." Thea whispered as he looked at her, "We call it the three day death." She nodded to him.
"What's that?" Punk shook his head, although he had a hunch it wasn't good.
"It's what it says it is." Thea said, "He's dying."
"But he's not deteriorating." Punk nodded.
"And he's not getting better." Thea said, "There were so many times in the station where I thought he was already dead. So did Cassie." She nodded, "I had to sit there and watch her hold him and cry and I… I don't think I can watch her do that again." She shook her head as Punk looked across at her.
"Why is it called a three day death?" Punk asked.
"Because they don't make it past three days." Thea looked across at him.
