Carrying Heavy


Cassie was in the middle of fixing herself some dinner late on after getting home from the hospital when there was a knock at the door. She left the kitchen and answered, letting Jude into the house.

"What are you doing here?" Cassie asked her, closing the door over.

"I just went out for a walk, for some fresh air." Jude nodded, "Thought I'd stop by and see how you are." She said, following her little sister through to the kitchen.

"I was just getting my dinner." Cassie nodded as Jude looked at the cinnamon swirl sitting on a plate on the kitchen table.

"You're kidding, right?" Jude looked at her.

"Leave me alone." Cassie shook her head, sitting down at the table.

"What is it with you and sweet things?" Jude shook her head, "Your teeth are gonna fall out."

"Look, you got your art, I got my cakes and pastries." Cassie warned, "Leave me be. I'm obviously stressed and the sugar is good for me." She nodded to herself.

"I can make you a proper dinner." Jude suggested.

"No, it's fine." Cassie insisted, taking a bite of the cinnamon swirl, washing it down with a red bull as Jude rolled her eyes.

"Your head must be spinning." Jude shook her head.

"This is how I got through academy training." Cassie shook her head, "And my husband is in hospital and can barely move so… if I wanna have cakes for dinner and buzz myself with energy drinks, let me." She nodded as Jude put her hands up in defence.

"You do what you gotta do." Jude nodded.

"Is Sean still here?" Cassie asked.

"He's leaving tomorrow morning." Jude said, "I'll stay another week probably-"

"You don't have to." Cassie insisted, "I appreciate you wanting to be here for me but you have a life. Kids. A job. You can't put all of that off." She said.

"I just wanna be here another little while to make sure Theo is doing good." Jude said.

"I guess it was good that Sean came with you." Cassie said as Jude nodded, "You still not spoken to him since your little romp in mom and dad's guest bedroom?" She chuckled.

"How did you know?" Jude shook her head.

"Thea told me." Cassie shrugged.

"I don't know why I bother telling her anything." Jude rolled her eyes, "We haven't said much." She answered.

"You mad cause you enjoyed it?" Cassie nodded.

"No." Jude scoffed, looking down at the ground as Cassie watched, "It's made me feel weak." She shook her head, "Not in a good way." She clarified.

"Why?" Cassie shook her head, "He's your husband."

"Who cheated on me." Jude shook her head, "I didn't think I would be able to let him in so quickly."

"There's a difference between sleeping together and letting him back in." Cassie nodded.

"I know that I still love him, and that… we still work physically together." She nodded, "But it's always there… him cheating, it's never gonna go away-"

"It's just gonna take time." Cassie said, "If he's really trying to prove to you how sorry he is, maybe you just gotta roll with it until it… until it falls back into place."

"What if it doesn't? What if it's never the same again?" Jude shook her head.

"You could always just… sleep together and not communicate." Cassie shrugged.

"Yeah sounds good." Jude scoffed, "Sorry, I know you don't wanna listen to me banging on about this. You got enough problems." She said, "How was Theo tonight?"

"He's alright." Cassie nodded, "I can just tell he's carrying the weight of all of this on his shoulders now. He thinks it's his fault."

"That's ridiculous." Jude said.

"That's Theo." Cassie said, "Nobody's harder on Theo than Theo." She shook her head.

"He can't blame himself for this. It was a situation out of everyone's control." Jude said as Cassie nodded.

"Every time I go in to see him I feel like a circus act trying to… entertain him. Keep him smiling or laughing. Sometimes I… I feel like he doesn't even want me there. He sends me home every night-"

"You stay there all day." Jude said, "Maybe he's just sick of seeing you." She teased, noticing her sister wasn't smiling or laughing, "Cassie."

"I know he's gonna be out of work for… a while." Cassie nodded, "It's gonna kill him. I mean, he almost went insane when he was out of action with his shoulder." She remembered.

"He's just gotta remember that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. He'll eventually be back at work. Just gotta be patient." Jude nodded, watching as Cassie winced a little, leaning back on the chair, "You alright?" Jude asked cautiously as Cassie nodded.

"Yeah." Cassie said, "Just… eating too quickly." She mumbled, standing up to get a glass of water.

"You're bleeding." Jude noticed through her sister's sweat pants, "You out of tampons or something?" She laughed a little as Cassie shook her head, facing the sink, "Cassie." Jude said, not enjoying the eerie silence that came over the kitchen.

"It's not my period." Cassie mumbled, "I'm having a miscarriage." She nodded, pouring herself a glass of water as Jude raised her eyebrows.


"What are you doing out here?" Dominic asked, sitting down beside Thea on the step at their back door looking onto their back yard.

"Just needed some fresh air." Thea nodded, "What time is it?" She asked him.

"Almost nine." He said.

"How lame is it that I'm actually ready for bed?" Thea shook her head, "What the hell happened to me?"

"You got old." Dominic nodded as she turned to him quickly, "Older." He corrected quickly as she nodded, "You are forty soon-"

"No I'm not." Thea said immediately, "I'm forever thirty nine." She nodded.

"If I had it my way I'd take you some place where it's just the two of us for your birthday." He nodded.

"I'm not stopping you." She smiled to him, "I just hope you remember how well I treated you when you turned forty." She smirked as he chuckled and nodded.

"I remember." He assured her as she nudged him playfully, "How's Theo doing?" He asked, "Do you stop by when you're at work?"

"No, I try not to. I think Cassie made it pretty clear that he's not interested in people visiting him. I wouldn't be either." Thea understood, "Cassie is there every day, though."

"You think he's being hard on himself?" Dominic asked her.

"Probably." Thea nodded, "I don't know him all that well. You know how him and Cassie sort of live in their own little bubble." She said as he nodded, "But yeah, he's probably trying to find a way to blame himself." She said, "Which is insane because no one is ever to blame when a mad man gets a hold of a gun."

"Well at least he's out of the woods." Dominic said, "I mean… he'll make a full recovery, right?"

"Yeah, he should." Thea nodded, "There's no paralysis or anything like that. It's just gonna take a lot of time to heal and get his strength back up." She said as he nodded.

"How are you holding up?" He asked as she just nodded, then followed by a shrug.

"It's just… something you normally hear about on the news, right?" She said, "You never think it'll actually happen to you." She shook her head, "And yet." She sighed to herself, "But if I wasn't there I don't know if Theo would be alive. That's not me being big headed, it's just… well I'm-"

"A doctor." Dominic nodded, "I'm just fucking glad you're alright." He ran his hand through his hair, "James was asking me about it yesterday when I picked him up from school."

"What'd he ask?" Thea asked curiously.

"He asked if you were in the accident at the police station." Dominic said, "So I just… I told him the truth." He nodded.

"It's getting hard to treat him like a kid these days, don't you think?" Thea sighed, "He's almost a teenager." She shook her head, "But he's just the sweetest boy. He's just like you." She smiled to him.

"He's alright." Dominic teased as Thea smiled.

"My dad turns sixty ten days after me so maybe everyone will forget about me turning forty and just… focus on him." Thea nodded hopefully.

"No way." Dominic chuckled, "Your mom is gonna fuss over you like there's no tomorrow. It's not such a bad thing." He said.

"I'd really just rather just do something with you and the kids." Thea shrugged.

"We'll still do something just the five of us." He nodded as she smiled.

"I just hope Cassie is doing ok. She carries a lot on her own." Thea nodded, "This has all been so stressful. It's been stressful for us so I can't imagine just how stressful it has been for her." She shook her head.

"They'll get through it." Dominic nodded confidently, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as she leaned into him.

"Sometimes I can still feel the gun against my head." She whispered as Dominic looked down at her, "Everything that happened that day is a blur but… that I can remember." She nodded, "My only thought being… you and the kids." She said, "Hoping you'd be alright. Upset that I was gonna be robbed of… growing old with you and seeing my kids grow up. Sam is only three." She shook her head.

"It's alright." Dominic soothed, kissing her head as she leaned into him, "No one is taking that from you." He said as she nodded.

"I hope they never do." She whispered. She still felt the trauma heavy on her from the day of the shooting, just as she suspected everyone involved did. It was a difficult thing to describe to someone who wasn't there in that moment. She hoped she'd never have to fear for her life that way ever again. It was the worst feeling in the world. Worse than any kind of alcohol or drug relapse.