Confiding
"Did he go to school ok?" Theo asked, sitting up in the hospital bed after Cassie came back from dropping Chase at school.
"Yeah, fine." Cassie smiled, "Can't get away from me quick enough." She chuckled a little.
"Better that than a clingy kid." Theo shook his head, "Matthew used to hold onto my mom's legs when he first started going to school." He rolled his eyes as Cassie smiled.
"Has he been here to see you much?" She asked.
"Yeah he was in last night. You just missed him." Theo nodded, "Has Chase still been staying with your parents?" He asked her.
"No, he needs some kind of normality back in his life so he's been at home for the past couple of days now." Cassie nodded, "Sleeping in our bed with me." She said as Theo smiled.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Theo nodded to her.
"It's just so quiet." Cassie shook her head.
"I didn't know I was particularly loud." He smiled a little.
"You know what I mean." Cassie smiled, "It's just weird not having you around the house." She said, taking his hand and playing with it as he nodded, watching her play with his wedding band, twisting it around his finger.
"Are you gonna be honest with me and tell me how you're really holding up?" Theo asked.
"What do you mean?" She looked up at him.
"Lucky for me, I was unconscious for majority of the shooting." Theo said, "You weren't. It's a traumatic thing. Cop or not." He said as she nodded along, "You'll be offered some kind of therapy at the station. It wouldn't hurt to go-"
"I don't need therapy." Cassie shook her head, "I just need you to get better." She looked at him, "That's all I care about right now. Getting you better and getting you home." She nodded.
"I don't think the therapy is mandatory." Theo looked at her, "Jake will insist-"
"Well then I'll go and… do what I gotta do." Cassie said, "I have guns put in my face all the time. I'll be fine." She said bluntly as Theo nodded.
"How's Thea been doing?" He asked her.
"She's ok." Cassie nodded, "Went back to work yesterday. She probably could still be in shock, I guess." She figured.
"I think I have her to thank for being alive. So the doctors tell me." Theo said as Cassie nodded in agreement.
"Yeah she knew what she was doing. I had no clue." Cassie shook her head, "And she was brave." She nodded proudly.
"Is Jude still here?" Theo asked her.
"Yeah. Sean left a couple of days ago." Cassie said, "She's been stopping by to make sure I'm not eating cake for dinner." She mumbled as Theo chuckled.
"So she's doing my work for me?" Theo smiled, "She's a good sister."
"I don't know about that." Cassie teased, "My family all think that you don't want any of them visiting you. That's why they're not coming." She clarified.
"I don't need an audience every day. I'm alright. I'm out of the woods, as they say." Theo nodded to her, "No one's lives have to stop for me."
"Jake told me I can have as much time off as I need but I don't think that's gonna help." Cassie shook her head, "Just gotta jump right back in, right?" She nodded.
"Not if you're not up to it." Theo said.
"The older you get the more diplomatic you've become." She folded her arms suspiciously.
"I'm talking to you as your husband." Theo clarified, "As chief deputy, talking to a detective? Fuck yeah, get your ass back to work." He nodded as she smiled.
"That's more like it." She smiled, "Have they gave you any kind of time frame? For recovery?" She asked, even though she was dreading asking.
"They want me to start moving more, building my strength up." Theo nodded, "Hopefully by the end of the week I'll be able to take a leak in the actual toilet." He shook his head, "And then we move from there."
"And you'll have follow up physio when you leave here obviously." Cassie nodded, "We can find the best." She assured him, "And I'm sure you'll still have bandages on your wound so someone can show me how to dress it, so I can do it for you. Maybe even Thea would help me out." She thought about it as Theo nodded along.
"I'm just… aiming for peeing on my own." He said tiredly, "One step at a time."
"Yeah, of course." Cassie smiled, stroking his hand.
"Maybe you could bring Chase later on and we could have dinner together." Theo nodded.
"You won't be too tired?" Cassie asked him. The previous nights she had brought their son around dinner time, only to find Theo fast asleep.
"No… No, I'll stay awake for some food." Theo said, "You guys bring something and eat with me." He nodded.
"Ok." Cassie smiled, kissing his hand.
"That way I know you're eating properly." He mumbled, closing his eyes over every now and then, getting tired as Cassie watched him.
"If it eases your mind." Cassie said quietly, watching him fall asleep as she leaned over and kissed his head, brushing her hand through his hair sweetly.
Cassie got home in the afternoon once Theo had fallen asleep. She figured it was time to tackle the mountain of dishes in the kitchen and tidy the bedrooms upstairs, as much as the thought was already draining her.
She was in the middle of making Chase's bed when she heard someone come into the house.
"It's just me!" Jude called as Cassie sighed a little.
"Up here." Cassie called down, hearing her sister climbing the stairs as she patted Chase's pillows up, sitting his stuffed cuddly toys on top before moving onto putting his toys into the toy box.
"Cinderella?" Jude smiled a little, walking into the room.
"Well someone's gotta do it." Cassie nodded, "I'm picking Chase up from school soon, and then we're gonna go see Theo, take some dinner in with us and eat with him." She said as Jude nodded.
"That's good." Jude nodded, "If you need any help around the house let me know. Sometimes I like cleaning. It's therapeutic." Jude shrugged.
"Thanks but it's not too messy." Cassie nodded, "Plus Theo was sleeping so I figured I'd leave him be for a few hours. Think he might be sick of seeing me." She laughed a little.
"He probably just wants to know you're getting enough sleep and looking after yourself." Jude nodded, "How… How are you?" She asked, of course referring to what she knew her sister was going through in silence.
"I'm alright." Cassie shrugged, "It's not been as bad. Kinda like the end of a period now." She nodded, "I think it'll gradually go away. Eventually. So the doctor says." She nodded.
"So it's not… painful?" Jude asked.
"No, it's just like cramps." Cassie nodded, tossing a remote controlled dinosaur into Chase's toy box as Jude watched her.
"You really won't tell him?" Jude sighed.
"No." Cassie turned to her, "I won't. And you and I will have an issue if you can't keep this to yourself." She warned.
"Hey, I can keep a secret." Jude assured her, "Doesn't mean I think it's right-"
"It's not about you." Cassie said, "This is my situation. Let me deal with it the way I want to." She said.
"You've been trying to get pregnant for two years, Cassie. Please just confide in someone." Jude shook her head.
"Well if I need to then I'll come to you. But I'm fine." Cassie said.
"How far along do you think you were?" Jude asked.
"Not long. Few weeks." Cassie said as Jude sighed, "I don't think I'm all the equipped for pregnancy anyway but… I'm guessing thinking my husband was going to die was a little stressful and… had something to do with it." She nodded, "So I'm not putting that on Theo."
"He'd only wanna be there for you." Jude said, "You know that."
"He's dealing with enough. We avoid talking about it but we both know he's gonna be out of work for months. That's gonna be tough on him. I don't need to add any more stress to the situation." Cassie shook her head.
"You've lost a baby." Jude sighed, placing her hand on her chest, "After wanting this-"
"Jude, you're not helping." Cassie smiled a little, nodding to her sister with teary eyes as Jude looked at her worriedly. She worried about her little sister's need to handle things alone and quietly.
"You shouldn't be dealing with this alone." Jude shook her head.
"Please don't tell me how to deal with this, Jude." Cassie shook her head, "I'm not you. I don't need reassurance or… a shoulder to cry on." She said as Jude looked down unhappily, "And not that there's anything wrong with that… we're just different." She said.
"I don't want to think that my little sister is crying herself to sleep at night because she doesn't want to talk to anyone about anything." Jude said as Cassie rubbed her forehead.
"Maybe you should just go back to New York. Theo is gonna be ok. I will too." Cassie took a deep breath, "Everyone needs to get back to their lives." She nodded, looking down and quickly wiping under her eyes where tears were coming from.
"Cass." Jude sighed, walking over to her as Cassie shook her head, beginning to sob through no fault of her own, angry at herself that she was feeling so upset, "Come here." Jude muttered softly, wrapping her arms around Cassie as Jude held onto her tightly.
"Why did I have to lose it?" Cassie cried with frustration into Jude's shoulder who hugged her tightly. It was frustration of two years, trying and wanting something, only for it to happen and be taken away in a second.
"I'm sorry." Jude rubbed her back, comforting her sister the best she could whilst she got the chance. She knew it wouldn't be long until Cassie insisted she was fine again.
