"I can't believe you're making me do this," John groaned.

"Oh, grow up Bates," said his best friend of 38 years, Robert Crawley. "It'll be over before you know it's happened."

"That's what she said," John mumbled as he turned back toward the tripod he had set up.

"Good Lord, are you a Year 9 all of the sudden?"

"ME?! I'm not the one posing for a soft core porn picture to give to my wife for Valentine's. Are you sure Cora wouldn't rather have some perfume or flowers?"

"Nonsense," Rob continued with his usual clueless enthusiasm. "Who wouldn't want a sexy picture of their spouse to keep them warm in the long Yorkshire winters?"

"Almost anyone?" John replied sarcastically.

"Don't kid yourself, Bates. I'm sure Anna would love to have a boudoir photo of you."

"If she would, I think I'd rather not know. And why do I have to be the one to take yours? Aren't there companies who specialize in these types of things?"

"If you think I'm going to pose on a bear skin rug with a rose between my teeth wearing only a very clingy pair of leopard print briefs, then you've got another think coming. No Bates, it has to be you."

"We have a very strange relationship. You know that don't you?"

Rob was about to say more but John cut him off, "Let's just get this over with can we. The sooner the better."

"Fine, fine. Just let me adjust…"

"STOP! I don't know what you're adjusting."

John came into his house to find most of the lights off, his children in bed, and Anna sitting on the couch with a glass of wine and an episode of Bridgerton on the telly.

"Well, how was your time with Rob?" she asked, pausing the tv screen.

"Don't ask," John groaned, leaning down and giving her a peck on the cheek.

"Did you two have a row or something?"

"Worse…"

Anna looked concerned and John said, "Let me get a glass so that I can join you. Then I'll explain." In a moment, he was sitting next to his wife and pouring himself what he deservedly thought was a large glass of wine.

"So do you want to tell me about it?" she asked softly.

John grimaced, "I don't. But I can't let you think we've had a falling out," He sighed heavily and continued, "Rob decided to give Cora a boudoir picture for Valentine's day and that I had to be the one to take the photos as he was too embarrassed to go to a studio."

"Oh god," Anna laughed, "You do need wine."

"What I need is to take a scalding hot shower and then gouge my eyes out with a spoon. How are the kids?"

"Fine. They said for you to go up and kiss them before you went to bed."

"I will. But for now I just want to sit and relax."

"Do you want to watch the end of Bridgerton with me?"

"Is that the one with the bright colors and all the sex?"

"Emmm, yes…"

"No thanks, I don't think I could stomach it just now."

It was silent for a moment, Anna snuggling into John's side and sipping her wine. She began to chuckle.

"How on earth does Rob get you into these situations?"

"Oh, you know Rob. He whines and badgers and reminds me that I took a bullet for him and 'this can't possibly be as painful as that', a fact that I vehemently dispute in this case. In the end, it's just easier to do what he wants and get it over with as quickly as possible."

"And he actually thinks Cora will be pleased with his gift?" Anna asked, "She doesn't really strike me as a boudoir photo kind of woman."

"That's what I said! But he insisted that anyone would appreciate such a gift. He even said you would want one of me. Isn't that ridiculous?"

Anna was silent as fidgeted against her husband's side.

"Anna?" John repeated, "I said… isn't that ridiculous?"

"Er…"

"You're kidding, right?"

"Oh, I don't know. Rob does send you on a lot of trips to Europe. It might be nice to have something sexy to look at while you're gone."

John turned to face his wife, "And me cramming my dad bod into a pair of boxers covered in hearts is your idea of sexy?"

"Well… yes. I do think you're sexy and I should think you'd be glad for it."

"That's because you love me, not because I'm actually sexy. And I am glad for it. Very glad. But I'd rather not risk you discovering how biased you actually are by having a photo that you could closely analyze."

"It's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

"Exactly. You don't need a photo. You can imagine me any way you like while I'm away. Let your imagination run wild. Concoct any manner of fantasy you'd like," he smiled wickedly, "I'll even help you act them out upon my return. I quite like that idea. But we won't be having any photographic evidence to leave lying around for our children to stumble across when I'm dead."

Ann laughed again, "Good Lord. You have gotten yourself in a state."

"You're not disappointed are you? You know I hate to disappoint you."

Anna frowned, "Of course not. I'd never ask you to do something that makes you this uncomfortable. And I'll concede, you do have a point about the kids. No matter how careful you are…" She let the sentence dangle. "Anyway, what do you want to watch if we're not going to watch Bridgerton?"

"I'll make you a deal, we can watch this since you were so kind about the photo."

"Are you sure you don't want to go up to bed? Sounds like you've had a traumatic day."

"Positive. Quite frankly, after the things I've seen today, I'm afraid to close my eyes.

A few weeks later, John and Ann were in a restaurant on Valentine's night. John reached into his coat and pulled out a flat package to give to his wife.

"Happy Valentine's darling," he purred.

Anna took the gift with a smile which turned to puzzlement as she felt the package.

"It feels like a picture frame."

"Well," John smirked, "you said you wanted a boudoir photo of me."

Anna quickly put the package under the table even though it was still completely wrapped, "Why did you give me this now?"

"Just open it," John encouraged her with a smile.

"But what if someone sees?"

"No one will see. Open it."

"You've certainly changed your tune."

"I told you I couldn't disappoint you."

Anna hunched over her gift and tore at the paper.

"Oh John," she said, tears springing to her eyes. It was a photo of John in bed with their daughter Lily tucked under his right arm and their son Jack tucked under his left. He was reading them their favorite book.

"This is the sexiest photo I've ever seen," she whispered.

"I'm glad you think so," John replied with a smile.