Cruel
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh." Thea rushed down the docks towards her father who was standing by one of the boats. Once she had checked her phone she realised she had missed calls from her father and voice messages telling her James and Sofia had showed up. She felt sick to her stomach and so confused as to why she had really forgotten to pick them up or arrange for them to be picked up by someone.
"It's ok." Punk said calmly, "They're fine." He looked over at James and Sofia who were sitting at the end of the boardwalk eating hot dogs and watching the fish, "They're alright." He turned back to Thea who placed her hand over her mouth.
"I can't believe I did this." She shook her head, "I mean… really? Who forgets their kids?" She questioned.
"You've had a lot on your mind." Punk nodded.
"I knew Dominic was working late and my shift was gonna run overtime." She said, "I knew I had to arrange for someone else to pick them up but I… I forgot." She threw her hands up in the air, "God, anything could have happened to them." She sighed stressfully.
"Hey, they're ok. James got a hold of Sofia and they came straight here." Punk nodded, "He's like his mom. Knows his sense of direction pretty well." He smiled as Thea sighed.
"I feel like the worst parent on earth." Thea shook her head, walking over to one of the benches and sitting down as Punk followed.
"Well that's not true." He said, sitting down beside her, "You've been through a lot. I think somehow they both know that." He nodded over to James and Sofia in the distance.
"James has been really quiet." Thea nodded to him, "He's not usually quiet with me." She said as Punk nodded.
"He was… asking me some stuff." Punk said. He figured he had to tell her, she was James' mother after all, she had a right to know.
"About what?" Thea asked.
"Just said you've been acting a little strange lately. Sleeping a lot. Taking pills." Punk nodded.
"I take pills every day." Thea clarified, "Mentally ill, remember?" She nodded to him.
"I think that's the point, Thea." Punk nodded, "He's… he's noticing." He said as Thea looked at him, "He told me he knows you and Dominic were alcoholics." He said as Thea looked down.
"Well it's not like he's a baby." Thea nodded. Deep down she knew her eldest child was beginning to notice things, no doubt coming to his own conclusions.
"I said as much as I could but… I think it'd be better coming from you. I still think he's too young to get the full details but… yeah, he's not a baby." Punk agreed, "He's curious. That's all. You were the same when you were that age." He nodded to her.
"What's that gonna do to a kid? When they know their mom was an alcoholic with a personality disorder?" Thea questioned, "I saw how you hated Sam." She shook her head.
"It's not the same." Punk shook his head immediately, "Sam was never there for me and Dean. You're there. Every day and night. And you're an amazing mom. You're not your disorder. There's more to you than that."
"I fucking forgot to pick them up from school." Thea rolled her eyes.
"It's been a stressful week." Punk shook his head.
"My head is so far up my ass." Thea nodded, "And I can't get it out clearly." She rolled her eyes, looking over at James and Sofia.
"Just to clarify, you know where Sam is, right?" Punk asked with a small smile as she turned to him, sensing his torment and shoving him so hard he almost fell to his side.
"You're not funny." She said as he chuckled, "Yes, I know she's at playgroup until… four." She looked at her phone, "Which it almost is right now." She shook her head, feeling like time was running away from her every single day.
"You've been through a lot." Punk said, "Take it easy." He nodded, "And don't beat yourself up about this. I forgot Jude at the grocery store one time when she was a baby." He nodded as she turned to him, "I got all the way into the car before I even realised." He said, "Had sat her on the check-out desk, never picked her up." He said as Thea chuckled a little, "Mom never knew about that so… keep it quiet."
"What age was she? Jude?" Thea asked.
"One." Punk said as Thea chuckled.
"That does make me feel better actually." She nodded, "What do I do about him?" She sighed, looking on at James specifically, "Is it bad that there's some stuff I just don't want him to know?" She turned to her father.
"No." Punk shook his head, "I don't think kids need to know absolutely everything about their parents. There's stuff that you and your sisters don't know about me and your mom. Things we went through." He said.
"But you guys were always honest and open with us." Thea recognised.
"Well yeah, it's important." Punk nodded.
"I guess I gotta talk to Dominic." Thea said, "You're right, he doesn't need full details but… not being honest isn't right. You kept shit from me when I was his age and look what happened to our relationship." She turned to him.
"It's not the same." Punk shook his head, "And what'd you want me to do? Tell you I was a drug dealer?" He scoffed.
"Could have just not been a drug dealer. Would have helped the whole situation." Thea nodded.
"Could have should have." Punk waved his hand, "You'll figure out the right things to say to him." He nodded.
"Yeah, I hope so." Thea said.
"Hey, where's Chase?" Theo asked, watching Cassie come into the hospital room later that night.
"He's with your mom." Cassie told him, walking on into the room, looking over to the TV where the hockey was on, "At least you're catching some games." She smiled.
"Yeah, at least." Theo agreed, "How come you didn't bring Chase? I thought we were eating together?" He asked.
"He was kinda tired from school and he ate earlier." Cassie said, taking her jacket off, "I did bring my favourite sandwich and a caramel donut, though." She smiled.
"You get a caramel donut and I get watered down jello." Theo nodded, "I hate it here." He nodded as she chuckled.
"I'll share with you." She smiled, sitting down on the chair by the bed.
"You know your sister to forgot to pick up her kids from school today." Theo nodded.
"Thea?" Cassie chuckled.
"Yeah." Theo said, "I don't blame her. Her head must be all over the place." He said.
"Yeah, I bet." Cassie nodded.
"Yours too." Theo said, "I mean, you guys were the only ones who kinda… faced him. You especially." He said, "Your eyebrow is healing." He noticed.
"Like it always does." Cassie smiled. Technically, she hadn't come tonight to sit and have dinner with him and chat like they had been the past few days. After a much needed breakdown with Jude, she figured carrying the burden of the miscarriage all by herself wasn't right. Not only to herself but to Theo.
"Your dad been going to any games?" Theo asked, looking over to the TV as she watched him.
"I had a miscarriage." She said as he turned to her. She couldn't find a way around it. The only way she felt she could address it was by blurting it out, or she'd convince herself not to say anything at all.
"What?" Theo shook his head.
"I didn't know I was pregnant." She shook her head as he raised his eyebrows, "I did ask the doctor why but she couldn't give me an answer. A straight one at least." She said, "Could have been just one of those things. Could have been my… incapable reproductive organs. Could have been stress. Could have been fighting with Brock." She nodded, "Doesn't really matter how I guess." She shrugged.
"You were pregnant?" He shook his head.
"Yeah." Cassie swallowed the lump in her throat, "I didn't want to say anything because I… I know there's enough problems to deal with right now." She nodded, "And I guess it's just one of those things. It's gone now." She shrugged as he looked across at her, not knowing what to say quite frankly.
It was something they had been wanting for almost two years. To know they almost had it, but now it was gone, was difficult information to take in.
"Come here." Theo nodded, opening his arm out despite the pain. All he could think about doing was holding her. No amount of physical pain could compare to the pain he felt when he saw his wife upset.
"No, I don't want to hurt you." Cassie insisted, drying her tears quickly.
"Just come here. This is my good side." He assured her as she looked across at him wearily. It was all she wanted. To curl into him and close her eyes.
"No, it's ok. I'm alright." Cassie nodded.
"Cassie, I'll get out of this bed if you don't get in." He nodded with a small smile, "And I'm not joking." He made clear as she smiled, nodding and getting up from the chair, lying beside him on the bed.
"It's not too painful, is it?" Cassie hoped.
"No." Theo lied, shaking his head, "I'm sorry you've went through this on your own." He said, "And it's… it's not your fault." He reminded her.
"Feels like it." She whispered.
"It's not." He said fiercely, listening as she sniffled and sobbed a little, "Hey, maybe my thing won't work anymore cause of all these meds they're shooting into me." He nudged her, hearing her chuckle as he smiled.
"God, don't say that." Cassie groaned as he smiled, kissing her head.
"It's gonna be alright." Theo said softly.
"It just feels cruel." She said as Theo nodded.
"I know." He nodded, feeling a heaviness in his chest, feeling the loss of what could have been, what they'd been wanting for so long. Cruel was the only way to describe it.
