Evaluation


"You must be Cassie?" A middle-aged man stood from the sofa in his office as Cassie walked in, closing the door behind her and nodding, "Or I should say Detective Brooks." He corrected himself, looking down at the sheet of paper on the desk.

"Just another name on the page, huh?" Cassie nodded, "Cassie is fine." She said, extending her hand out and shaking his as he smiled.

"I'm glad you've come." He nodded, "My name is Andrew Leighton. Psychologist for almost sixteen years." He said as Cassie nodded. She could have thought of so many other places she wanted to be right now.

"Well let's get on with it." Cassie encouraged, "I have to pick my son up in an hour anyway so… let's not drag it out too long." She looked at her watch as Andrew smiled and nodded.

"Of course." He said, "Take a seat." He looked towards the couch opposite the one he was sat on with a desk in between.

"Have you always been posted here in the station? I've never saw you around." Cassie said, sitting down and taking her coat off.

"No, I'm not really posted anywhere. I do my rounds." He nodded, taking a new evaluation slip and filling in Cassie's name at the top, "Now going by my records here, you've had three evaluations during your time here on the force."

"Yeah." Cassie nodded, "Four now."

"Lower than most." Andrew said.

"My husband has had twenty seven." Cassie understood the reference, "Soon to be twenty eight."

"Husband has seen some things in his time then." Andrew nodded.

"He has." Cassie nodded.

"Well I'm glad you showed up for the session. I know most people dread it. And I hope you consider a few more once we're finished-"

"Let's just get this one out the way." Cassie said, "And then I'll think about it. If Jake lets me think about it, that is."

"He's a pragmatic man. Wants what's best for his officers." Andrew nodded.

"Well I'm doing just fine." Cassie said, "I understand the evaluation thing is necessary but… I'm doing fine. I won't need any follow ups." She waved her hand in dismissal.

"Alright." Andrew nodded along, "I see here you arrested one of the gun men and you… shot the other one." He said as Cassie nodded.

"Someone had to do it." Cassie said.

"Must have been a pretty haunting experience. I'm aware your husband was seriously injured." He said.

"He was but he's doing ok. I mean, he's still in hospital but he'll get stronger every day." She nodded with confidence.

"Well I'm glad to hear he's doing ok now." Andrew said, "Was it tough coming back in here?" He wondered.

"What do you mean? This is… where I work." Cassie shook her head.

"I just mean… after what happened with the shooting here." Andrew said, "Perhaps it doesn't feel quite like it used to."

"Doesn't feel much different." Cassie shrugged bluntly as Andrew looked across at her. It was very clear she was a tough cookie to crack.

"There wasn't part of you that felt uneasy about coming in?" He asked as Cassie shook her head.

"Not really." Cassie said, "Look, I know you're just trying to check in on us. Make sure we don't have any PTSD. I've been on the front line at active shootings before-"

"This was a hostage situation. Your own colleagues were shot dead." Andrew looked at her, "Police officer or not… that's a stressful situation." He said, "You've recognised that, haven't you?"

"Yes, I've recognised that." Cassie said briefly, "I'm just saying… I don't need therapy for it."

"Who said this was therapy?" Andrew shrugged as Cassie scoffed.

"Please." Cassie rolled her eyes.

"Would it be so bad if it was?" Andrew questioned.

"It'd be a waste of mine and your time, because I don't need it. I should be at the hospital with my husband. That's where I should be." She shook her head, "I'm only here so Jake won't chase me up about it." She said as Andrew nodded slowly, trying to get a sense of her as a person. He was struggling. He couldn't really read her. He couldn't tell if she was incredibly strong or incredibly shut off from everything around her.

"Were you close to any of the deceased?" Andrew asked, trying to navigate the session in a different direction.

"No." Cassie shook her head, "A lot of them were just kids who started a couple months ago." She sighed, looking down, "Just kids." She shook her head, "Full of potential. Maybe big careers in front of them. Maybe future detectives and captains." She nodded, "Not to be." She shook her head.

"Did you attend the funerals? A few days ago?" He wondered.

"I did." Cassie nodded, "It was raining and miserable. It looked how it felt." She said, "I didn't know any of them well but I recognise they were someone's son or daughter. Friend. Sister or brother." She shook her head, "I'm a mom. I'm a daughter. Sister." She said, "Could have been my family having to gather round. Or it… it could have been me having to go to my husband's funeral. For a while I thought I would be." She nodded.

"He was in a bad way." Andrew understood, "This was a… a traumatic ordeal anyway but I understand you were locked in a room with your husband and sister for over an hour. And he was shot at this point?"

"Yeah." Cassie nodded, "He's got a lot of lives, that's for sure." She smiled a little.

"How do you feel about… the gun men?" He asked as Cassie looked at him.

"What a dumb question." Cassie shook her head, "How the hell do you think I feel?"

"I don't know. Tell me." He encouraged.

"I'm angry." Cassie stated the obvious, "I'm angry that they shot up a place that I love, and shot a person I love. It felt like… like they were trying to take everything away from me. It sounds selfish but it felt like… like a personal attack on me." She said, "Most of all I hate that he… Brock… has left my husband feeling responsible for all of it." She nodded quietly.

"That's how your husband feels?" Andrew asked.

"He hasn't said it out loud but… I know it's what he's thinking." Cassie nodded.

"It's a normal trauma response." Andrew nodded, "To take blame. Happens to a lot of victims of violent crimes."

"If you have one of these sessions with him, I'd avoid calling him a victim." Cassie nodded to him.

"I know Theo well." Andrew assured her, "But this session is for you. I'll get to him eventually." He nodded, "I want to know how you're doing."

"I'm doing fine." Cassie nodded by default, looking out the window as Andrew watched her closely.


"Sorry, I'm late." Thea rushed into the Indian restaurant she was supposed to meet Jude at half an hour ago.

"It's alright." Jude shook her head, watching her sister take her coat off, sitting down at the table and sighing with triumph that she'd finally made it, "Busy day?" Jude chuckled a little.

"Yeah. And Sam threw up just as I was leaving the house." Thea shook her head, "She always picks her moments."

"Poor baby." Jude frowned, "She alright?"

"Yeah, I think it's a stomach flu, couple kids had it in her playgroup." Thea nodded, "She's with Dominic." She said, "Did you invite Cassie or did you wanna get me all to yourself?" She teased, opening up the menu.

"I would have but I figured she's got a lot going on. Plus I think she said something about an evaluation she had to go to." Jude shook her head, not really remembering the full details. She also know Cassie was dealing with the miscarriage, which she was forbidden to tell anyone about it. She promised Cassie she would take it to her grave.

"She doesn't like Indian food anyway." Thea nodded.

"I'm getting a flight out tomorrow afternoon, to go back home." Jude said as Thea looked up from the menu, "I gotta get home to my girls." She nodded.

"Yeah, gosh you must miss them a lot." Thea understood, "I think everyone is holding up alright here anyway. Theo seems to be doing good." She nodded positively.

"Yeah." Jude nodded, "How are you doing?" She wondered.

"Forgot to pick my kids up from school the other day." Thea said, "And then James told dad he knows me and Dominic were alcoholics and that I always take pills." She nodded, "Do you think he thinks I'm like… a loopy mom? Like you know those moms who run around with their hair all over the place and… they don't pause to take a breath when they speak?" She asked as Jude raised her eyebrows.

"No, I don't think so." Jude laughed a little.

"Mom was never like that. She was always so… sharp and focused." Thea said, "She gave all that good stuff to Cassie." She said jealously.

"Mom wasn't so sharp all the time. Remember she had that fight with that school mom in the parking lot? It was about a bake sale or something? She threw the whole pack of cookies at her?"

"Oh, yeah." Thea chuckled, "See, she gave me all of that good stuff."

"She did." Jude agreed, "You're not a loopy mom." She made clear, "James is just… getting older."

"I figured we'd have these conversations when he turns like… eighteen." Thea sighed, "I forgot what it was like to be twelve and… observant." Thea scoffed as Jude smiled.

"I'm sure you don't have to give him details but… I'm sure he can handle it." Jude nodded, "Better to be honest, right?"

"Yeah, of course." Thea nodded, "I just like being their mom who has her shit together and smiles every day and is perfect… not their mom with a mental illness and substance abuse problems." She shook her head.

"Thea, you're crazy." Jude nodded bluntly as Thea looked at her, "It's why most people love you, actually." She said, "It's nothing you gotta hide from anyone. Nothing you should be ashamed of. Your kids get to see how strong you are. I think that's great. James will too." Jude said as Thea smiled a little.

"Thanks for humouring me." Thea nodded.

"No problem." Jude smiled.

"You excited to go home and see Sean?" Thea asked, taking a sip of water.

"Yes and no." Jude said, "I'm not really sure what's going to happen. He can't just move back in and have us pretend like it never happened. That'd be insane." She said, "Just gotta work at it, I guess. It might take a while."

"If you guys were supposed to fall apart, it would have happened by now." Thea said as Jude nodded.

"You'll check in on Cassie when I leave, won't you?" Jude nodded.

"Our sister? Yeah, I'll pop by every now and then when I feel like it." Thea waved her hand sarcastically.

"I'm serious. You know how she is." Jude said.

"Of course I'll be checking on her." Thea said, "I'm the big sister here. Everyone would think you are."

"I look the youngest, though." Jude smirked, taking a sip of her wine.

"You do, actually." Thea accepted, "Oh, I've kinda been getting used to you being around here." She frowned a little.

"I'll be back soon, I'm sure." Jude nodded, "For now I think I gotta go sort out my marriage."

"And I gotta tell my son his mom is a crazy ex alcoholic." Thea said, raising her water.

"Cheers." Jude nodded, hitting her glass of Thea's as they chuckled and ordered some food.