Difficult


"How'd the evaluation go?" Theo asked the next afternoon whilst Cassie was visiting him. He knew she had her evaluation to attend last night, and wanted to make sure she showed up for it at least.

"Like every other one I've had before." Cassie nodded unenthusiastically.

"I hope you weren't being difficult." Theo mumbled.

"What?" Cassie raised her eyebrows, knowing his mumbling usually came out when he didn't want to be heard.

"I said I hope you weren't being difficult." Theo nodded clearly, "Cause you can be when it comes to that stuff-"

"I just don't like being babied." Cassie said, "He was talking to me like a child."

"He's there to help you." Theo said, "To make sure you're doing ok, cause not a lot of people are doing ok after a mass shooting." He reminded her, "I know you're invincible, though." He added sarcastically.

"Oh well didn't someone wake up on the wrong side this morning." Cassie scoffed.

"I didn't wake up on any side. I sleep on my back." Theo corrected as she rolled her eyes, "Well… what's the verdict? You cleared to go back to work?" He asked her.

"Yeah." Cassie nodded, "Back on Monday. Lighter schedule, obviously."

"Obviously." Theo nodded, "To come take care of the cripple."

"Exactly." She smiled as he chuckled a little.

"Did you tell him about the miscarriage?" He wondered.

"Who?" Cassie questioned.

"Andrew? During your session?" He asked.

"No, of course not. Why would I?" Cassie shook her head, "That's our business. Not work related-"

"Well there's a chance it… it was work related." Theo said.

"We don't need to speculate what it was." Cassie said, "It's over now so… we just have to move past it." She shook her head as he looked across at her, "I don't need anyone knowing. I'm getting enough sympathy as it is right now."

"Oh, you poor little woman. People care about you. What a nightmare." He nodded sarcastically as she smiled a little. He kept her on her toes. It's why she needed him around, by her side.

"It's not like that." Cassie said.

"I know." Theo understood, "At least it's good to know there is… there is still a chance it can happen." He nodded.

"Or maybe the result will always be me losing it." Cassie said, "I don't know maybe… maybe we just gotta accept it's not gonna happen." She nodded as he looked across at her, "I'm probably gonna go back on birth control." She shrugged as he nodded, not saying anything.

"Is Jude back in New York?" Theo asked her, changing the subject.

"Yeah, she got her flight this morning." Cassie nodded, "I think everyone just has to get back to their lives now. And God knows she's got her own shit to figure out."

"They'll be alright." Theo nodded, leaning his head back on his pillow, "Jude and Sean." He clarified.

"How do you know?" Cassie wondered.

"Sean's a good guy." Theo nodded, "I worked with him a lot in my younger days on the force. He stands up when things aren't right. He's a good cop. Good person." Theo nodded.

"Do good people cheat on their spouses?" Cassie wondered.

"He made a mistake. If they weren't meant to figure this out they would have divorced as soon as it happened." He said, "All this waiting around… it's gotta mean they wanna figure it out. Right?"

"I guess." Cassie nodded, "I don't know what I'd do if you cheated one me." She folded her arms, "It's not something I can imagine."

"You don't have to." Theo shook his head.

"I would definitely plot something terrifying, though." Cassie thought about it as Theo chuckled, "Something involving… plyers." She nodded as Theo's smile faded, "And maybe some tasers."

"Sounds like a Saturday night for us." He nodded as she chuckled.

"Has the doctor gave you any kind of time frame yet? For getting out of here?" She asked him.

"No not for getting out but he did say he hopes I'll be up and walking by next week. I'm not so sure, though." He said.

"Why? You can do it." Cassie nodded, "That's gonna be the first step and then it's… it's a piece of cake from there." She said.

"I like the optimism but… I'll spare you the details of how much pain I'm really in." He nodded.

"I know you're in pain." Cassie nodded, "But I know you can push yourself. And if the doctors think you're ready then… then it's go time." She said as Theo nodded.

"Hopefully." He agreed.


"Hey, what are you doing here?" Thea asked, clearing the kitchen table from lunch which she and Sam had, watching her mother walk in with a tray of donuts.

"Your dad was painting the fence so I took a walk and figured I'd stop by." AJ said.

"How come every walk you take always somehow ends with you purchasing donuts or pastries?" Thea asked, "It's a little worrying at this point."

"I know." AJ assured her, "Where's Sam?"

"Afternoon nap." Thea nodded, "She still has one after lunch. It's hard keeping her awake." She admitted.

"Sounds like Jude." AJ nodded, taking her coat off.

"Yeah." Thea laughed in agreement, "Speaking of, she must have landed in New York by now." She looked at the clock whilst AJ helped her clear up.

"Probably." AJ nodded.

"I really think they'll work things out, you know. Jude and Sean." Thea nodded, loading the dish washer up.

"There's no reason they can't give it a try at least." AJ nodded, "If it's what they want. There's just still a lot of hurdles they gotta face. It's gonna be pretty raw for… longer than you'd expect." She said as Thea nodded.

"Well I told her to call whenever. She knows it's gonna be tough. She ain't stupid." Thea shook her head.

"Of course not." AJ agreed, "Have you heard from Cassie?"

"No, of course I haven't." Thea shook her head, "Jude said something about her having an evaluation last night. To do with the shooting. Probably so she can be cleared for work."

"I was thinking of maybe going round later and cooking her some dinner. Maybe you could come with." AJ said, "I worry she feels alone-"

"She likes being alone." Thea rolled her eyes, "Do you know your own daughter?"

"Of course I do." AJ scoffed, "I know what she needs more than she does. Trust me. I'll make her favourite dinner. We can watch a movie." She shrugged.

"Well Dominic will be here so I guess I can tag along." Thea nodded.

"Your dad mentioned about James asking some questions." AJ said discretely, sitting down at the table once it had been cleared and wiped clean.

"You two must have a field day talking about us all the time." Thea shook her head, putting the coffee pot on.

"Well yeah, you're our children. We talk about you all the time." AJ stated the obvious.

"We spoke to him last night." Thea nodded, "Told him what we thought was appropriate. Not much details but… the basics, I guess." She said.

"Which are?" AJ asked.

"I take pills because my brain can get sick sometimes." Thea said, "And mom and dad don't drink alcohol because it affects them differently from others." She shrugged as AJ nodded.

"Well… you're not lying." AJ said as Thea nodded.

"I just don't want my son to think he has a fucked up mom." Thea said.

"Thea." AJ tutted, "He doesn't." She emphasised.

"Well…" Thea shrugged, not so sure, taking the coffee to the table and sitting down across from her, "I just always wanna have an honest relationship with my kids, you know. I never want them to feel left in the dark."

"I know." AJ nodded.

"I don't know how you did all this on your own for so long. I have to talk to Dominic about it every night. Get it off my chest." She said.

"I wasn't alone. I had Dean and Renee helping too." AJ assured her.

"Yeah Uncle Dean was there a lot when I was going through my shit." Thea remembered, "All he knows is tough love, though." She laughed a little.

"Well that's Dean." AJ nodded in agreement, "You have a great relationship with James. I don't know any twelve year old boys who like hanging out with their moms. You guys have a good bond. Don't worry or stress so much." She said, "And you don't have to tell your kids everything, by the way." She added, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Yeah? What haven't you told us?" Thea asked, amused.

"Oh, tons of stuff." AJ nodded as Thea smiled.

"He is the sweetest boy." Thea agreed, "He's just Dominic." She nodded as AJ smiled, "I'm sitting here worrying about him when I know for sure Sofia is gonna be the one that gives me the most trouble."

"It's all a learning curve." AJ nodded, "A never ending learning curve." She said as Thea smiled.

"Ok, bust the donuts out." Thea encouraged.


Jude got home from her flight in the early afternoon, dumping her suitcase at the doorway, sitting her keys down and pausing as she realised the house seemed eerily quiet.

"Sean?" Jude called, walking ahead into the living room which was empty and tidy, which definitely meant the girls weren't here.

She shook her coat off, sitting it on the couch and making her way through the house, "Hi, buddy." Jude smiled, tapping the glass at Rex in his vivarium, heading through to the kitchen which was also empty.

She figured he'd probably taken the girls out, or perhaps he was at work and they were with one of their friends being looked after. She was slightly disappointed as she was craving a hug from her children.

It wasn't until she reached for the fridge where she noticed all of her art work and tools were no longer sitting on the table. It was completely clear. Not so much was a paintbrush was sitting. She felt a hollow feeling in her stomach.

"Sean!" Jude called again, walking through the living room and heading upstairs. Her art work always sat in the same place at the end of the kitchen table where she done her projects. Sean never touched anything, nor did the girls.

"Sean, are you here?" Jude reached the top of the stairs, pausing when she noticed a sticky note on their guest bedroom door, "What the hell?" She mumbled to herself.

She walked on over, tearing it off the door and reading it.

Sorry you nagged me for so long about this. I hope you like it. The girls helped.

Sean

She shook her head with confusion, opening up the guest bedroom door, pausing at the doorway as she saw what used to be a plain guest bedroom, now turned into a studio with her art work sitting at a desk, tools labelled in dressers, different canvases hanging up which she'd been awarded for in exhibitions.

She placed her hand over her mouth, walking into the room which appeared so colourful and bright, just the way she could envision it whenever she talked about turning it into an art studio.

She spent a whole half hour looking around, touched by the little details and arrangements of her equipment and tools. She hadn't ever realised how much he paid attention to the way she worked until now.

She sat down behind the desk which was in front of the window, smiling upon the picture frame of the girls, noticing beside it was another frame, not standing up but lying down flat with another sticky note attached to it.

You can decide if this one goes up or not.

She took the sticky note away, noticing it was a picture of her and Sean, one he knew she always loved from when they hiked the grand canyon.

"Gosh, Sean you're a bastard." She mumbled to herself, holding the frame, conflicted as she looked around the room. Only someone who truly loved her and knew her way deep down, would be able to pull off something like this.

She took the frame and put it in one of the drawers.