Too Soon
"So you like it?" Sean smiled, standing in the kitchen later that night after bringing the girls home who were overjoyed to see their mother before heading to bed.
For the few days Sean had been back in New York himself he had set himself the project of turning their guest bedroom into an art studio for Jude. It was something he knew they'd talked about for so long, but simply never got round to doing it.
"Would you have done it if you never cheated?" Jude asked with an amused smile, looking over her shoulder at him whilst hand washing some dishes. She watched him look down, not responding, "I love it." She nodded.
"I hope I put everything in the right place." He scratched his neck worriedly, "I know how you are about people touching your things."
"You seem pretty clued up on where everything goes." She nodded, turning to face him as she dried her hands.
"Years of watching you, I guess." He nodded.
"I never thought you were that observant." She admitted.
"You know I always love watching you work." He shook his head, "Normally silence makes me uncomfortable but… I could just sit and watch you do your thing for hours, in silence." He nodded.
"Thank you." She said, "For doing it. I really do love it." She said as he nodded.
"Now you don't gotta worry about the girls spilling their dinner on any of your projects anymore." He said as she chuckled a little.
"You're right." She nodded, looking over at him as he smiled awkwardly, "We were never awkward when we met." She pointed out, not meaning to blurt it out so randomly.
"No, I guess not." Sean shook his head.
"I think I've gotten more awkward as I've gotten older." Jude shook her head, "Is that a thing?"
"Maybe." Sean nodded, "Spending too much time in a comfort zone-"
"Cause I've been in a lot of comfort zones in my adult life?" She asked sarcastically with a smile.
"Alright, fair enough." Sean smiled, "Are you saying you feel awkward around me?" He wondered.
"No, not exactly." Jude shook her head, "I don't know what it is I feel. Sometimes I just… I don't know what to say to you." She admitted. She had no issue being honest with him in how she felt, "Is it always gonna be like this?"
"No." Sean said immediately, "We can… we can get through it." He nodded firmly.
"How is that case coming along? You know that girl from the academy?" She remembered, "Have you still been working it or-"
"No, they took it from me." Sean shook his head, watching her open the fridge and pull out a bottle of wine. They'd definitely made steady progress. If this was a month ago he would have been stood at the door step for one minute to discuss when he was next seeing the girls.
"They took it from you?" Jude shook her head.
"I might have snapped at the chief." Sean corrected.
"So that was your punishment?" Jude nodded, "Surely you must know if they're making any progress with it. Last you told me was Fred Wilson was having an affair with her… the victim." She said, "Obviously I haven't been at the academy in a while to see if he's shown his face."
"Well he hasn't." Sean said, "In fact, we can't find him."
"Oh, well case closed." Jude scoffed, pouring her wine, "He's clearly done a runner." She shook her head.
"It's not my case anymore so… I'm leaving it to the others." He shook his head.
"Makes sense, though. I bet she threatened him that she'd tell his wife and then bam, he stabs her three times in the elevator." Jude nodded.
"I love how my job has always been somewhat of a soap opera for you." He smiled as she sighed.
"Shame on me, that poor girl." Jude shook her head seriously.
"He'll be found eventually. Can't hide or run forever." Sean nodded, "You back on Monday?"
"Yeah I have a class first thing." Jude nodded, "I got the weekend to prep for it."
"Nobody does organisation like you." Sean smiled as she nodded, looking across at him.
"About what happened… at my parent's house." Jude said as he looked across at her, "I don't regret it." She told him, "In fact, I loved it." She nodded, figuring there was no point in holding back.
"I did too." Sean said, "It's been the worst six months of my life. I got to see what it'd be like to… to live without you. It's the worst thing in the world." He shook his head, "I'm not asking you to let me back in and… pretend things are perfect. I just wanna know that… that you believe we can get back to where we used to be." He said.
"It's not gonna be easy." Jude said as he nodded in agreement, "But I'd be lying to you if I said I don't see you in my future. It's just impossible to imagine. I'm just scared it'll never be the same." She said as he walked over to her, getting closer to where she stood.
"It's on me to make sure it is." Sean nodded, "This is all on me. I know promising you things is probably meaningless to you right now cause… cause I'm the guy who promised to be faithful to you and-"
"Yeah." Jude nodded, looking up at him, sitting her glass of wine down on the kitchen counter which she leaned her back against, not realising her stance was inviting him.
"But I promise you I'll never hurt you again." He shook his head, "And I'll do whatever you want me to do, to get us back to how we used to be. I'll never stop apologising to you for… for what I did. For ruining us." He shook his head.
"We're not ruined." Jude spoke softly, looking up at him before wrapping her arms around him, leaning her head on his chest as he hugged her back tightly, never wanting to let go.
"Have we tried this one yet?" Cassie asked, sitting with her legs in a basket on Theo's bed, facing him whilst looking at the tray of chocolates on his lap.
"You're making me feel sick." Theo nodded.
"Why?" She looked up.
"You've ate like… ten of those chocolates." Theo chuckled, "And you keep using we to make yourself feel better. I've ate one." He reminded her.
"Just humour me, Theodore." Cassie shook her head, looking at the last remaining chocolates, "You being in here is very inconsiderate for my physique." She let him know as he chuckled.
"Mine too." Theo shook his head, "Chase doesn't get it, does he?" He said as Cassie looked across at him, "Keeps asking me why I'm not at home." He nodded, "It's killing me." He sighed, rubbing his forehead tiredly as Cassie closed the tray of chocolates, sitting it over onto the cabinet by the bed.
"He's just little and… confused." Cassie nodded, stroking the top of his hand lightly, "He just misses his daddy, that's all."
"It's depressing waking up here every morning." Theo nodded, "Not getting to see him at breakfast. Take him to school. Or see him at dinner. Bed time." He shook his head as Cassie nodded.
"You will soon." Cassie nodded positively, "Speaking of school… I actually spoke with his principal earlier today. He wanted to send his best wishes to you. Speedy recovery." She rolled her eyes, "And he apologised for the handling of the situation with Chase. The note in the backpack." She said as Theo nodded.
"Were you mean?" Theo asked.
"I didn't accept the apology, if that's what you're asking." Cassie shook her head, "You don't get to be mad at me for being upset about all of that. About our actual son being a victim of a hate crime at six years old-"
"I'm not mad at you, Cassie. I'm upset too." Theo assured her, "But in the back of my head I guess I knew it was Brock and I was still trying to keep it from you to protect you… maybe I came across a little cold about the whole thing-"
"A little?" Cassie asked.
"My mom never really addressed that shit with us. We kinda just got told to deal with it. And me and Matthew did." Theo nodded.
"That's not how I'll be addressing it with Chase when he's old enough." Cassie made clear, "No person deserves to feel singled out or different because of… because of anything. Race, gender, sexuality-"
"I know." Theo nodded, "I agree."
"It's not something you should just brush off. And it's never something you have to hide from me. If somebody says shit to you at work, on the street, wherever… you talk to me about it." She insisted.
"And then what? You go beat them up for me?" He grinned.
"Hell yeah." Cassie nodded, smiling as he chuckled to himself, "Guess what?"
"What?" He smiled.
"He wants to join the soccer club at school." She nodded.
"You've been waiting for this moment." Theo said as she nodded.
"I'm gonna be the best soccer mom ever." Cassie confirmed as he chuckled.
"Hottest soccer mom I've ever seen." Theo nodded as she smiled, "How are your parents? Felt like I haven't seen them in a while." He admitted.
"Yeah, they're fine." Cassie nodded, "I think they know not to check up on me all the time. They know I'd just snap."
"Well you should let them help you. They just wanna help I'm sure." Theo said.
"Odds are they'll think I'm going back to work too soon." Cassie nodded.
"Maybe you are." Theo nodded, "There's no rush. Jake will agree."
"What's the point in waiting around? Best way to get through it is to just… push through and persevere." She nodded, "It'll just make it harder to go back the longer I push it off."
"I know." Theo understood her thought process, "Well maybe you should consider seeing Andrew a few more times-"
"No." Cassie scoffed, reaching back over for the chocolates, "One was enough."
"It wouldn't be such a big deal. He's just there to talk to about what happened." Theo said, "I've attended tons of sessions with him in my career-"
"You've been in tons of ridiculous situations, though." Cassie said.
"Yeah… so have you." Theo reminded her, "This was a ridiculous situation, and he's there to help for these exact scenarios that cops go through." He nodded as she looked at him in silence, "Sleep on it at least." He nodded as she just shrugged, choosing not to say anything as she looked back to the remaining chocolates, "You don't have to bullshit with me, Brooks." He shook his head as she smiled a little, keeping her eyes on the chocolates.
"Here you go, babe." AJ said, walking into the living room, passing Punk a coffee whilst sitting her own on the coffee table.
"Thank you, ma'am." Punk smiled, taking the mug from her as she sat down beside him, "Why does rain gotta be so depressing?" He shook his head, looking at the window which hadn't been dry all day, nothing but lashings of rain hitting off it from the moment they woke up.
"I like it." AJ said.
"You're weird." Punk nodded as she smiled a little, "Was not fun being homeless in that." He shook his head.
"Ok, that I agree with." She nodded, "We always made it work somehow." She said as Punk nodded in agreement.
"Thea told me that Cassie is going back to work on Monday." He told her as AJ turned to him, "Yeah I know that was my reaction too."
"I expected her to go back quickly but… not this quick." AJ said.
"It's her way of dealing with things and I think we should just let her." Punk nodded.
"I know I just worry about her." AJ shook her head.
"You know I used to not really see her like either of us. Not the way I can with Thea and Jude." He explained, "But as she's gotten older she's just you."
"Yeah?" AJ asked.
"One hundred percent. The way she just picks herself up and keeps moving forward… that's all you." Punk nodded.
"Yeah and believe me, that can catch up with you." AJ said, "I know Theo is good at getting through to her, though. He won't shy away from telling her that it's too soon to go back to work."
"Please, our girls don't listen to men." Punk scoffed at the mere thought as AJ smiled a little.
"That's true." AJ nodded in agreement, "Gosh, they were terrors weren't they?" She laughed a little, finding herself reminiscing as she got older.
"You're probably better at assessing that than me." He nodded with slight frustration, "Did they fight all the time?"
"Jude and Thea fought like cat and dog. Cassie was too young, I guess. Always the silent witness." She chuckled to herself, "Did I ever tell you about the time Jude threw Thea into the Christmas tree?" She turned to him.
"Vaguely." Punk thought about it.
"Mommy I'm hungry." Cassie nudged AJ's leg, four years old, small but with the biggest appetite. Recently, the only thing AJ really heard from her was that she was hungry.
"I'm just putting dinner on, baby." AJ nodded.
"But I'm hungry now." Cassie explained childishly, "I can't wait."
"You can." AJ assured her confidently.
"Can I have cheerios?" Cassie asked, wandering her way over the cereal cupboard, taking out the box and shaking it excitedly as AJ watched.
No was on the tip of her tongue, but she had one of those mom moments where she thought, fuck it, it's cereal.
"Alright." AJ shook her head, grabbing out a small bowl, shaking the cereal into it and topping it up with milk.
"Thanks." Cassie grinned, strutting out of the kitchen happily as AJ chuckled to herself. She was a little madam, and yet the most aggressive tiny person she knew.
Cassie made her way into the living room, getting comfy on the couch with her cereal, using a cushion to prop it up on her lap, turning to ten year old Jude who was sitting next to her reading a book, knees pulled to her chest.
"Jude, what are you doing?" Cassie questioned.
"I'm reading." Jude said without looking up as Cassie huffed a little at the lack of conversation she was getting.
"Put my programs on." Cassie pushed the TV remote to Jude.
"Why are you eating cereal?" Jude finally looked up.
"I'm hungry." Cassie nodded, "Put Fireman Sam on for me." She said as Jude flicked through the kids channels.
"Hey, I'm home!" Thea yelled, sixteen years old, dumping her bag down at the doorway as AJ emerged from the kitchen.
"How come you didn't walk home with Jude?" AJ wondered, watching Thea kick her boots off, landing in different directions at the doorway.
"She walks too fast." Thea complained.
"She's ten. How slow do you walk?" AJ shook her head as Thea just shrugged. The real reason she didn't walk home with her little sister was because she got caught up with some friends at school smoking round the side of the building.
"Are you making dinner?" Thea asked hopefully.
"Yeah." AJ called as she headed back to the kitchen, "Get your homework done!" She called to Thea who wandered into the living room.
"Hey, losers." Thea placed her hands on her hips, looking on at her little sisters. Jude didn't acknowledge her whilst Cassie was concentrated on trying to scoop up her cheerio's which kept falling off her spoon into the surrounding milk.
"What are you reading?" Thea smiled, snatching Jude's book from her.
"Give me that back." Jude stood up immediately.
"I bet you have a secret diary somewhere." Thea teased, moving around the living room holding the book. Her and Jude were at an age where they simply did not get along.
"I don't." Jude shook her head, "Give me the book."
"Don't you have friends?" Thea teased.
"Yeah." Jude defended. What she was struggling the most with was how much she noticed her older sister changing. Reading books was something she used to spot her sister doing herself, and so she couldn't understand why she was being made fun of, and why her sister always smelled of strong perfume, and why she hung around with Jackson more than she hung around with her, and why she didn't speak about their dad or show interest in visiting him anymore.
"If you had friends you wouldn't be in here reading all day and night. Or drawing pictures." Thea scoffed as Jude tried to reach for the book which Thea held up above her head.
"Move out the way!" Cassie yelled, trying to watch the TV whilst her sisters argued in front of it, "I can't see Fireman Sam." She complained, moving her head side to side to see around her sisters.
"Here, take it." Thea smiled, extending the book to Jude who reached out for it, only to find Thea raising it back above her head again, chuckling with torment the way most oldest siblings would.
"Just give me it." Jude shook her head unhappily.
"Reach for it." Thea smirked before tapping the book off Jude's head, immediately raising it back above her head.
Jude grabbed Thea by the neck, tripping her up with her legs and tossing her into the Christmas tree in the corner of the living room. The definition of a little siblings temper being broken.
Cassie munched on her cheerio's, looking over at Thea laying into the now bent Christmas tree, tinsel and baubles fallen all over the place whilst Jude snatched the book from her.
"What the hell is going on in here?" AJ walked into the living room, looking on at Thea untangling herself from the Christmas tree lights whilst Jude left the room.
"Jude beat Thea up." Cassie looked up at her mother.
