First Steps
"You're walking!" Cassie exclaimed, startling all the nurses as she walked into the hospital room to see her husband out of bed, with the aid of the helpful nurses around him.
"I'm standing, actually." Theo corrected.
"Look at you go." Cassie smiled with encouragement, taking her coat off and throwing it over the arm chair, "When did this become a thing?" She asked.
"Just this morning." One of the nurses answered, "He wants to make it to the bathroom but… I think standing is good enough for now." She assessed.
"No, just give me a second and I'll get there." Theo nodded, looking over at the bathroom in the corner of the room. It felt so far away. It had taken him so much strength, pushing through so much pain just to stand up. He knew deep down he wasn't going to make it to the bathroom, let alone another step.
"Alright." The nurse nodded along.
"I mean, it's smooth sailing after this, right?" Cassie nodded, "First step is the hardest and you've got that shit locked down." Cassie said as one of the nurses raised her eyebrows, which caused Theo to chuckle. He was never one to apologise for his wife's profanity. He loved her just like that.
"Maybe I gotta sit back down." Theo gave in eventually, feeling the pain from his torso shooting down his back and leg, which apparently was normal.
Cassie watched as the nurses helped him back into bed and leave the room. She could see he was exhausted just from taking that first step out of bed. It looked like he had just ran a marathon, and she could see the pain in his face.
"That's frustrating." Theo admitted truthfully.
"Babe, that's a huge step." Cassie said, sitting down on the chair by the bed, "The biggest step. You can build on it from there. You know your limits better than anyone-"
"Do I?" Theo scoffed.
"Well… that's why I'm here also." She added.
"I look like a fourteen year old boy again." He shook his head as Cassie looked at him with confusion, "I'm losing muscle."
"Oh, stop." Cassie rolled her eyes, "You're as paranoid as me sometimes, you know that?"
"You coming here feeding me chocolates every night isn't helping either." He added.
"I'm nursing you back to good health." She shrugged.
"By making me fat?" Theo asked as Cassie shook her head at his ridiculousness.
"You're gonna be walking in no time. I know it." She leaned over and squeezed his hand.
"Not before I go crazy in here." Theo shook his head, rolling it back onto the pillow, "I just want to be home. I want to be home with you and Chase. I want to come home from a shitty day at work, read my kid a story before bed and then… do my wife in the kitchen." He nodded as Cassie chuckled.
"Hey, I want that too." She assured him, "Believe me." She emphasised as he smiled.
"How you been feeling?" He asked. She knew what he was referring to without hearing him actually say it.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Cassie nodded briefly.
"We could keep trying, you know." He said, "You did get pregnant."
"Yeah and then it was gone." Cassie reminded him. She knew what he meant by it. The hope he was trying to distil in her. Hope that perhaps she would be able to get pregnant again. But the thought scared her more now. The pressure had become too much. Not only to get pregnant but to stay pregnant if it did happen again. All of it just made her want to go running in the opposite direction now.
"I know." Theo nodded, accepting the fact he wouldn't physically understand how it felt from her point of view, "But if there's a chance-"
"I'm going back on the pill." Cassie shook her head as he nodded, "And we need to focus on you right now. Nothing else." She diverted with a smile.
"You excited to go back to work tomorrow?" He asked her.
"Yes and no." Cassie said, "It'll be good to bury my head into a case." She thought about it.
"Some normality, huh?" Theo nodded.
"Yeah, I guess." Cassie said, "My mom and Thea are coming by tonight to have dinner with me. They think they're so subtle. I know they're just checking in on me." She shook her head.
"And what's so wrong with that?" Theo asked.
"I'm a grown woman. I'm fine." Cassie said, "Plus I go to bed at like 8pm now, so it means I gotta stay up." She rolled her eyes.
"You're so wild." Theo nodded.
"I know." Cassie said.
"Go easy on them. You know they're only looking out for you." He told her. He often had to remind her of that.
"I know that." Cassie said, leaning over and pecking his lips as he smiled, "You walked today." She reminded him proudly.
"I only stood-"
"More than you did yesterday." She cupped his cheek as he smiled.
"I made you your favourite." AJ smiled, sitting down the tray on the kitchen table in Cassie's house where her and Thea had arrived to spend the evening having dinner and keeping Cassie company.
"Gosh, there's only three of us eating. You made a whole tray of lasagne?" Cassie raised her eyebrows.
"I'm semi-retired." AJ shrugged as Cassie nodded with realisation. It made sense.
"Yeah why are you semi-retired? Why aren't you just retired?" Thea shook her head, taking her coat off whilst Cassie got plates and cutlery out.
"Well I need something to keep me occupied." AJ shrugged, "And your stubborn father insists on working himself to the ground until he's in a coffin." She rolled her eyes.
"He's semi-retired too." Cassie said.
"Only because I forced him." AJ shook her head.
"Isn't it just in his nature to… be busy?" Cassie asked, "He's not very good at relaxing."
"Oh, please. I know." AJ assured them both, "We were gonna plan a trip to Atlantic City but then Theo got hurt and-"
"Oh, just go. Theo's fine." Cassie waved her hand, "In fact, he walked today." She smiled happily.
"Really?" Thea raised her eyebrows, surprised to hear this.
"Well… he stood up from bed. He didn't really walk anywhere but… I'm counting it as walking." Cassie said.
"That's great, sweetie." AJ smiled, "You'll send him our love won't you-"
"You can go visit him, you know." Cassie said, "I never said nobody was allowed to see him."
"No, you said that Theo doesn't want people coming to see him like some circus animal." AJ said, "That is what you said." She said.
"Well… a visit here and there isn't gonna hurt." Cassie shrugged. She only sometimes realised her harshness when other people repeated it back to her, "I was probably tired when I said that anyway."
"You should go to Atlantic City, that sounds fun." Thea nodded, sitting down at the table, "Remember when you took us there? When we were kids?"
"Yes." AJ said unhappily as Thea chuckled to herself.
"I don't remember that." Cassie said, sitting down across from them. She was extremely glad to see a home cooked meal for the first time in a while.
"You were just a little girl." AJ shook her head.
"I got us a suite." Thea nodded proudly.
"How'd you do that?" Cassie shook her head.
"Told the lady at reception that our dad was dead." Thea shrugged as Cassie turned to AJ.
"She did." AJ confirmed.
"That's awful." Cassie shook her head, "You definitely are going to hell." She nodded.
"I know." Thea shrugged.
"I vowed to never take you all on vacation again after that." AJ remembered, "It might be weird to go there now that I think about it."
"No. You should go." Thea said, "But let me know when so I can figure out who is babysitting my kids." Thea made clear.
"Oh, me too." Cassie added, spooning more food onto her plate.
"Is Chase with Theo's mom?" Thea asked.
"No, he's asleep upstairs. I just put him down before you guys came." Cassie said.
"Bless his heart, he must be so confused." AJ frowned.
"He's doing ok now." Cassie nodded, "I think it's easier now that Theo is awake and I can take Chase in to see him."
"When do you think he'll get home?" AJ asked.
"I'm not sure." Cassie said, "Could still be a while. And even when he does come home, I know I'll probably need to set up the couch for him. Help him upstairs. Before he's always had injuries in his arms mostly, so he's still had full mobility to walk and move around… this has just left him completely messed up." She shook her head, "I don't even wanna think about how long he's gonna be out of work."
"Yeah don't think about it." Thea said, "Odds are he's already been thinking about it."
"It's gonna get him so down." Cassie dreaded.
"He'll get there eventually." AJ nodded, "You just gotta be there for him."
"You're back at work tomorrow, aren't you?" Thea asked.
"Yeah. Looking forward to it, actually. I need a distraction." Cassie nodded.
"Have you heard anything about that… that gun man?" AJ asked as Cassie shook her head.
"No. And I don't want to." Cassie nodded briefly, "He's locked up and that's all I need to know." She said as AJ nodded, turning to Thea who just shook her head, in signal to move onto something different.
"It's a shame Jude couldn't be here." AJ said.
"I've realised in my old age I can only handle so much time with Jude." Thea admitted, "Otherwise we just start fighting like we're kids again." She said.
"She didn't need to be hanging around here just because Theo is in hospital." Cassie said, "She needs to get on with her life. We all do." She nodded.
"I just worry about her sometimes. Out there with no family around her-"
"She likes it that way." Thea reminded her mother.
"I know." AJ understood, "But especially with everything that has happened with her and Sean-"
"I wouldn't hold your breath just yet." Cassie said, "I think they'll work it out."
"Well she did speak to me and your father about it. Sometimes I think she's more worried about what we'll think." AJ shook her head, "Where as you two…" She looked at Cassie who was mopping up sauce on her plate with garlic bread, treating the task very seriously whilst Thea took a second helping onto her plate, "You two don't really care, do you?" She nodded to herself with a small smile, glad to be in their company. That would never change.
