Thanksgiving
"You look so handsome, baby." Cassie smiled, crouching down in front of Chase in his bedroom where she was helping him get ready for Thanksgiving at her parents house.
"When can I get turkey?" Chase asked, trying to undo the buttons on his plaid shirt.
"Soon." Cassie chuckled a little, "Leave your buttons." She nudged his little hands playfully, "Mommy just needs to get her coat. Yours is downstairs." She told him.
"I'll get it!" He called as he ran out of his room and downstairs.
"Your hat and scarf is in the kitchen. When I come down I wanna see them on!" Cassie called down to him, knowing fine well he'd be in the living room playing with his toys until the very last minute before they had to leave.
She headed through to her own bedroom where Theo was buttoning his own polo shirt after getting out of the shower.
"You look beautiful, if it isn't obvious." He said as she smiled, squeezing past him to get to her dresser for her coat.
"Thank you." She smiled over her shoulder at him, "You look as handsome as your son." She nodded.
"He's always stealing my thunder." Theo nodded, sitting down slowly on the edge of the bed, holding his ribs as she watched him. Simple tasks like showering and getting clothes on felt like a marathon to him.
"We don't have to stay long." She said, walking around to face him, "Everyone will understand if we leave early."
"No, I'll be fine." Theo shook his head.
"I don't want you to be sitting in pain." She said, "Did you take your meds?"
"Yeah." He nodded as Cassie looked down at him.
"I'm sorry this is so rough on you." She nodded.
"No, I'm sorry." He shook his head as she sat down beside him, "I'm just frustrated and… angry… upset." He nodded to himself, "You're not the one that I should take that out on."
"I know but I get it." She said, "For better or worse, right?" She smiled as he laughed a little.
"Sometimes I just… I don't know who I am without my job." He admitted, "When you put so much of your time and effort into something and then you have to step back from it for a while… everything doesn't really make sense." He shook his head.
"There's more to life than that god damn precinct." She nodded as he turned to her.
"It's normally what I focus on when I'm stressed or… worried-"
"What are you worried about?" She whispered, placing her hand on his thigh as he shrugged, "Him?" She wondered.
"He's in prison." Theo shook his head, "I'm not worried about him."
"Then what?" She asked, "Tell me."
"I can remember it." He nodded, "I can remember laying there… dying." He admitted, "I thought I wouldn't. I thought the pain and… all that would help me forget." He said, "But I remember being in my office. I remember Thea… the look on her face. I remember watching you go out the door. Wanting to tell you to not do it but… not being able to. Like I was paralysed." He nodded.
"It was a traumatic thing, Theo." Cassie nodded, "For all of us. Sometimes when I'm lying in bed trying to fall asleep, I can still hear the gun shots."
"Me too." He said, "And I've heard gun shots before but those were different. I don't know if it was because it happened in the station. Where I thought would always be a safe place." He shrugged.
"Maybe you should see Andrew again." She nodded, "He's there to help with situations like this. PTSD is common for people involved in shootings. Cops or not." She said as Theo nodded.
"Maybe I'll make an appointment with him." He nodded, "I'm sorry I'm being such a pain-"
"Stop." She shook her head, "You're gonna be back in no time. And trust me, there is way more to you than being a cop. You're an amazing father, husband… friend." She nodded, "And those are way more important." She said as he nodded in agreement.
"I'm sorry I brought up the miscarriage. It was stupid." He said as she nodded.
"I feel like I never even got a chance to process any of it. I still haven't." She admitted, "It just happened really fast. I feel… guilty for not feeling worse about it, if that makes sense." She said.
"I get it." He nodded, "So are we just… not gonna try anymore? Cause I'd understand… I wouldn't want you to go through that again or-"
"Maybe it's just supposed to be the three of us." She shrugged as he nodded, "I've not thought much about it, honestly. Focusing on you getting better. That's the important thing." She leaned into him as he kissed her head, "There's always the dog option." She said as he chuckled.
"That's true." He nodded, "It's really not something you'd wanna tell your mom?" He asked.
"No, I don't wanna bother anyone with it." Cassie shook her head, "I'd rather we just got through it together, on our own. Well… and Jude." She smiled.
"You think he's gonna have his hat and scarf on downstairs?" Theo asked her with a smile.
"No, you kidding? He'll be playing with his toys." Cassie chuckled, "I'm ready to go get some turkey, what about you?" She asked, standing up and extending her hand out to him as he nodded, taking it and getting up slowly as they headed off downstairs.
"This is awkward." Thea insisted, finding Dominic in her parent's living room after she escaped from the kitchen where the rest of her family were.
"What is?" Dominic asked.
"Sean being here." Thea said, "I talked myself round. I told myself it'd be fine but it's weird. Just acting like it's fine. What he did."
"Well no one is gonna bring it up and make a scene." Dominic shook his head, "Right?" He raised a brow, directing the question at her.
"I don't make scenes." She rolled her eyes as Dominic folded his arms, "I don't. I'm too old for that." She waved her hand as he chuckled, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into him as she chuckled, hearing him whispering things to her as he buried his face into her neck.
"Hey we got kids around here." Jude announced, walking into the living room as Thea and Dominic separated, laughing a little as Jude smiled at them.
"Yeah, I should probably go check on them." Dominic admitted, "They'll be hanging from your dad on either side." He shook his head, leaving the room as Thea looked over at Jude.
"You really suck at putting on a face, you know." Jude nodded.
"Meaning?" Thea asked.
"You know what I'm meaning." Jude said, "You told me that… you were happy as long as I am-"
"And are you?" Thea questioned.
"We're working through it." Jude nodded, "That's my choice. And I'm already struggling with feeling stupid for it. I don't need you adding to it." She said.
"Why do you feel stupid?" Thea asked.
"Because he cheated on me and I'm taking him back." Jude said, "I know everyone is probably talking about me-"
"No one is actually." Thea said, "I tried to get dad stirred up about it the other day but he was more interested in a bird feeder he'd made." She nodded to her sister.
"That's sweet and… sad at the same time." Jude nodded, "It'd make my life a lot easier if you didn't get people stirred up." She said.
"How are you doing it?" Thea asked, "It's not like he screwed up and said something mean to you. He cheated-"
"I know." Jude assured her, "But I love him. What do you want me to do?"
"I don't know." Thea shrugged, "I know it's not up to me. I do just want you to be happy. I'm just… I'm still mad at him-"
"I am too." Jude nodded, "But if I still love him then I'm gonna try and repair our marriage. He's really trying too. He even agreed to do therapy with me. Couples therapy-"
"Ouch. That's not gonna be fun." Thea cringed, "You realise a couples therapist will dive deep into the cracks of your relationship, right? And they'll make him talk about the cheating in detail-"
"How would you know this?" Jude raised a brow.
"You see it in the movies." Thea shrugged as Jude rolled her eyes.
"I think it might help us. It's not like we're keeping anything from each other but… just to have some kind of guidance through it. Right now he's still not moved back in. We have dinner together most nights with the girls. He stays the night most nights." Jude said, "I almost don't know how to navigate the situation from here."
"Well maybe therapy could help." Thea nodded.
"Maybe." Jude said, "I just… I don't want him to be uncomfortable here. Maybe it's what he deserves but… if we're gonna get through this I need you and everyone else to not treat him like a piece of dirt. He's still my husband." She nodded seriously.
"Only for you." Thea folded her arms as Jude nodded.
"Thank you." Jude nodded, "Let's go eat." She suggested.
"Hey, you mind if I sit?" Punk asked Theo, making his way into the living room later that night. The rest of the family were in the kitchen making their way through dessert when Punk noticed Theo had been gone for a little while.
"No." Theo shook his head as Punk sat down, "Not really one for dessert. Cassie likes to tell people that we share desserts when we go out for food but… I take one bite and she finishes the rest." He nodded as Punk smiled.
"Well just humour her with that." Punk suggested, "How you been feeling?"
"Some days are better than others." Theo nodded, "I'm hoping my physiotherapy starts to take off some more."
"It will when you're ready. Don't push it." Punk said as Theo nodded, "Missing work?" He asked.
"If it isn't obvious." Theo nodded, "I don't know how the hell people are unemployed." He scoffed as Punk laughed a little.
"That's a good mindset to have." Punk nodded.
"Or it's a curse." Theo said, "Being off all this time… it's just giving me a chance to think about it all. Analyse it. What I could have done different-"
"You'll make yourself ill doing that." Punk turned to him, "I've been there. It's no fun. What's happened has happened and you just gotta move on from here. Sounds insensitive when we're talking about you getting shot, I know." He nodded.
"I don't know why I didn't take it more seriously. I knew what this guy was capable of. I was the one who put him away ten years ago. He even threatened Chase and I… I was more concerned about how it would reflect on my job." He shook his head.
"You were trying to do the right thing." Punk said, "You did do the right thing."
"I don't know." Theo shook his head, "He was shooting up that station to kill me. Which means those seven other cops who died… that was on me-"
"No. No, it wasn't." Punk shook his head, "Theo you can't take blame for all of this. This guy was a lunatic. Clearly unwell. His ties to you from a decade ago doesn't make this your problem. You will make yourself sick thinking like this." He nodded as Theo looked at him, "Don't make me get April on you." He warned teasingly as Theo smiled.
"So what do you suggest I do then?" Theo sighed, "There's only so much daytime TV I can watch." He admitted.
"Wait a minute." He told him, getting up from the couch and making his way back into the loud kitchen, his family too busy in conversation with one another to notice him walk out into the yard.
Cassie however noticed him come back from the yard, holding something in his hand, slipping back into the living room without anyone else noticing.
"What's that?" Theo questioned upon Punk's return.
"I made it. It's a bird feeder." He nodded proudly, sitting it on the coffee table as Theo tilted his head and looked at it.
"I didn't take you for the… creating bird feeders type." Theo turned to him.
"It's therapeutic." Punk nodded, "Like reading a book or listening to music." He shrugged, "Learned some stuff when I was in prison."
"It's good." Theo smiled, "I'm not really a creative person, though." He admitted.
"You'd be surprised." Punk told him, "Something to do, right? I could show you." He shrugged as Theo nodded slowly.
"Well it's gotta be better than daytime TV." Theo nodded, picking the bird feeder up and looking closely at it, "And if it takes my mind off things." He thought to himself positively as Punk smiled, patting him on the back before getting up and heading out of the living room, bumping into Cassie who had been watching at the doorway.
"Thank you." Cassie told her father sincerely as he nodded, kissing her head on the way back to the kitchen as she stayed at the door by the living room, smiling as she watched Theo shake the bird feeder curiously.
