One Final Ask
"Morning." Theo nodded, walking into the kitchen where he found Cassie sat with her morning coffee and a case file sitting in front of her.
"Morning." Cassie said quietly.
"Where is Chase?" He asked curiously, noticing his son's empty cereal bowl sitting across from Cassie.
"He's in the living room." Cassie nodded, "Showing your dad his lego." She said unhappily.
"Cassie, what is it you want me to do?" Theo questioned, "You want me to tell him to get out? Take your Christmas gifts and get out of my sight?" He asked as Cassie looked up at him.
"Sounds fine with me." She nodded as he rolled his eyes.
"They'll be gone soon." He said.
"Yeah and he won't show up for another couple years. That's the problem, Theo. I'm not having him in and out of our son's life. You want Chase to grow up and question why the man never visits?" She asked, "The way you questioned it when you were growing up?" She asked, standing up and taking her mug to the sink.
"I want you to understand that it puts me in a weird position and I can't just tell him to leave-"
"Then I will." She turned around, noticing Raul standing at the doorway behind Theo, who eventually turned around, sighing a little as they realised he had overheard.
"Kelise already changed our flight to tonight instead of tomorrow night." Raul said, "If that suits you." He looked directly at Cassie.
"It does." Cassie nodded, "I have to get to work." She turned to Theo who nodded.
"Yeah… have a good day." Theo nodded as she walked over to him, kissing his cheek before making her way past Raul, saying her goodbyes to Chase and heading off to work.
"I'd go as far as saying that woman wants me dead." Raul folded his arms, looking at Theo who put his hands on the back of one of the kitchen chairs, wincing a little as he felt the sharp winded pain he consistently got up his ribcage and torso from the shooting, "You're still in pain?"
"Lots of it." Theo nodded, "I'm getting physiotherapy, though."
"Well that's good." Raul said, "I really don't mean to be the source of conflict between you both. She doesn't really give me much of a chance, does she?" He scratched the back of his neck.
"You've had plenty of chances." Theo nodded, "She doesn't forgive easily. Took her almost a year to forgive me for faking my death on her-"
"Well… that is quite a cruel thing to do to someone." Raul smiled a little as Theo laughed and nodded.
"We can… laugh about it now, I guess." He shook his head, "I think… I think it just comes from a protectiveness she has over me. Doesn't want to see me treated like a fool." He nodded.
"Well… it's obvious she loves you a great deal then." Raul said, "But I'm trying here, Theo."
"Has it ever occurred to you that you might just be a little bit too late?" Theo nodded, "You ever thought that maybe I could have used my dad being around more when I was a kid? You never even showed up when I graduated from the academy." He shook his head.
"Your mother made it difficult for me-"
"No. She didn't." Theo shook his head, "You made it difficult. Me and Matt came out to Mexicali for the Summer and you still didn't pay attention to us. We would spend all our time outside, playing on our own." He said, "How do you expect me to believe that this is you trying? I'm a grown ass man. I don't… I don't need you to try with me anymore." He rubbed his hand over his face exhaustedly, "But maybe it's my mom's manners rubbing off on me… but I'd never tell you to leave. Cassie can because she grew up with parents who taught her how to… not take shit from anyone. I grew up with a mom who taught me to accept blatant racism and a dad who never gave a damn." He shook his head.
"Theo-"
"I'm going to help Chase get dressed." Theo nodded, walking out of the kitchen past Raul.
"So what are your plans for Christmas?" Sean asked Jude, sitting at a bench in the park where the girls were playing. He was working but took his break to come meet them.
"Just the usual." Jude nodded, taking a sip of her coffee out of the plastic cup.
"You… want me to stay here or-"
"And miss seeing the girls on Christmas?" She turned to him, "You think I'd do that to you?" She asked with confusion.
"No. I just… well I don't know." He shrugged, "I know Thanksgiving was a little awkward with your family. I don't want it to stress you out, that's all-"
"It's not." She said.
"Thea looked ready to murder me." He recalled, "I mean… the last time someone hurt you she… you know…" He widened his eyes a little.
"Sean, I know I've expressed how much you've hurt me… but you cheating on me and me being raped don't really level out." She turned to him as he nodded slowly, watching her smile a little, "Thea isn't going to stab you." She confirmed as he nodded, laughing a little as she smiled.
"Still… I should keep my wits about me." He said as she nodded.
"She just wants me to be happy. They all do. If I love you. They love you. It's how it works." She nodded.
"You still love me?" He nodded.
"You know I do." Jude said quietly.
"You're just not thrilled about loving me, right?" He assumed.
"Right." She nodded as he looked at her watching the girls, watching her smile, her infectious smile light up every time one of the girls slid down the chute, or swung on the swings, or waved over to them with glee.
"You're ok, right?" He nodded as she turned to him, her smile fading, "Taking me out of the equation and everything that's going on with us, which I know is hard, but… minus all of that… you're doing ok?" He asked.
"Do you want me to nod and lie to you? Cause it's probably easier for both of us." She said.
"No I don't." He said bluntly as she looked down at her coffee cup balancing on her thigh.
"You remember how I was just after I had Mirren?" She asked.
"Yeah." He nodded, "You feel like that?" He questioned.
"Yeah. Minus the… post-partum part." She nodded, "I've been given the same medication I got back then." She told him, "If things were normal, I guess it's something we would have discussed." She said, "I think it might just be this time of year, too. You know I'm not great with it." She said.
"But you spoke to someone about it, right?" He asked.
"Yeah." She assured him, "I guess I'll probably feel better being around my family soon." She nodded.
"Kinda lonely out here, huh?" He nodded, fidgeting with his hands, "We sucked at making friends. I've just figured that out-"
"Didn't really feel like I needed friends. I had you." She shrugged, "I was fine with laying all my problems onto you. Maybe that was the problem-"
"No, it wasn't." He said, "And FYI, you can still lay all your problems onto me."
"You've became one of my problems." She turned to him as he looked into her eyes, "So how do I do that?"
"Give me some time and maybe… maybe I won't always be a problem. And we'll get back to how we were somehow." He said.
"Or we'll be miserable like this forever?" She asked him, "If we can't get back to the way we were I won't be responsible for trapping you-"
"What do you mean?" He asked, "I mean… I figured the therapy was helping and we were at least moving forward instead of just standing still."
"Or it's just not going to work." She said, "It just… doesn't feel like it's going to be how it was before."
"Where are you going with this, Jude?" He asked, sitting up, a little more alerted as Jude kept her eyes on the girls, bracing herself for the next thing to come out of her mouth.
"I think we should get a divorce." She said, watching their children running around together as Sean kept his eyes on her, not knowing what to say, feeling numb, like the tiny slither of hope he had for their recovery had simply shattered into a million pieces.
"Jude." He shook his head, watching her blink tears away which ran down her cheeks.
"If I can't move past this then that eventually becomes my problem. You've done everything I've asked and you've done it because you're a good person and I know you're a good person. And I still love you but I can't…" She shook her head, wiping the sleeve of her jacket under her eyes, "I just can't get past it so I think that means we have to be realistic."
"So what… we just… we call it a day? I thought we were making progress. I stay at the house almost every night-"
"Exactly. None of that is fair if I can't move on from what you did. I can't keep pretending and I can't… string you along into thinking that we're going to be fine because I don't… I don't think we ever will be. It's just… it's not the same." She shook her head.
"You're in a rough place right now… you wanna push me away… I know you. I know how you deal with things." He reminded her.
"I'm not pushing you away because I'm depressed." She turned to him, "I'm pushing you away because I can't forgive you for cheating on me." She said.
"Maybe you need time to think more about it-"
"I've thought about it." She nodded, "So I'm only going to ask you to do one more thing for me." She turned to him as he shook his head, doubling over and placing his hands over his face, "It'll be… shared custody of the girls. I wouldn't ever-" She watched as he stood up, walking away from the bench and towards his parked car as she took a deep breath, drying her tears and looking up at the sky, trying to collect herself before she lost it completely.
