Big Decision


"Morning." Theo nodded, walking into the living room where Cassie was sat on the floor in her pyjamas with Chase, surrounded by an endless amount of toys which she'd helped her son unbox and was enjoying playing with. She was a sucker for action figures and lego.

"Morning." Cassie smiled a little tiredly, the reality of having a young child who got them up regardless of their hungover status.

"Coffee?" Theo laughed a little, looking at the chaos in the living room.

"I've had some but I think I could go for round two." Cassie said as he nodded.

"Daddy, look." Chase said, "It's a… a police car." He showed his father as Theo crouched down beside him, "And a… a fire truck." He showed Theo his new various emergency transport toys.

"Wow, who got you these ones? It wasn't Santa, was it?" He wondered, turning to Cassie for confirmation.

"Papa and A." Chase told him as Theo nodded, "Listen." He told his father, pressing a button on the police car which set off the sirens and flashing lights on top.

"That's cool." Theo said, "You got an ambulance too?" He noticed, laughing a little.

"Yeah it's for the sick people." Chase explained confidently as Cassie smiled, "And they go to Auntie Thea's work to get better. She makes them better." He nodded, talking to himself as he lined more of his cars up.

"And what about the cops?" Theo asked, picking up the cop car.

"Uh… they go to mommy and daddy's work with the bad men." Chase nodded.

"And women." Cassie inserted.

"So you got the full team here, huh?" Theo said, "You're lucky." He said, messing with Chase's hair as he stood back up, heading into the kitchen whilst Cassie sat on the floor watching Chase playing.

"I'll be back in a minute, babe." Cassie nodded, getting up from the floor and heading through to the kitchen after Theo.

"Your mom and dad got him way too much." Theo concluded, "So did my mom."

"I try to tell them every year but… goes in one ear and out the other." Cassie said as Theo nodded, brewing some more coffee as silence filled the kitchen for a few awkward minutes. Both were thinking about the same thing: the conversation topic before they went to bed last night, when they were slightly drunk and overly vocal.

"You weren't… so drunk last night that you forgot what we were talking about, right?" Theo turned to her as she rolled her eyes.

"I wouldn't even say I was drunk. I was… tipsy. I had the glow." Cassie nodded, "We just looked drunk cause barely anyone was drinking at dinner besides us."

"Yeah." Theo realised.

"I know what I said." Cassie nodded. After she'd brought up her desire to adopt to him, they didn't really say much more about it before going to bed. They didn't get into it, both agreeing that it was a conversation to be had when less alcohol had been consumed.

"How long have you been sitting on it?" Theo asked, passing her over some coffee.

"A little while." Cassie said, "After the miscarriage, I suppose." She nodded.

"It's… it's a big thing." Theo nodded, scratching the back of his neck, "I didn't think it was something you were thinking about."

"I tried not to." Cassie said, "I just always saw us having two kids. I wanted Chase to have a sibling. We're close with our siblings so… I can't imagine what it'd be like to grow up as an only kid."

"He wouldn't know any different." Theo pointed out.

"No, but we would." Cassie said, "I know it's a huge deal. And I wish… it could just happen the easy way for us-"

"We could still try." Theo said.

"We tried for two years. And when it did happen… I lost it." She shook her head, "I don't wanna go through that again." She said, "Just because we can't physically have another kid doesn't mean we can't at all."

"I don't… I don't know how I'd feel." Theo admitted as she nodded, "What if…" He paused, feeling like a terrible person for thinking it.

"What if we don't love them as much as Chase?" Cassie read his mind as he looked at her worriedly, "We love Chase because we raise him together. We see him grow together. Because he calls us mom and dad and we're the people he looks to for safety and comfort." She said, "We can have that through adoption too." She nodded.

"You've really thought about this." Theo realised as she nodded, folding her arms and looking down.

"I know that we both have to be on the same page with it and I get it if it's gonna take some time for you to come to a decision." She nodded, "I just figured it was time to let you know that… I'd made my mine."

"I thought that you just didn't want any kids at all now… after everything." He admitted.

"Well… you never can tell what I'm thinking." She smiled as he nodded in agreement.

"Obviously not." He said.

"It's the outcome of you not being around at work to irritate and distract me." She said, "Instead I sit alone in my office on my break just… thinking too much."

"How does it even work?" He wondered, "Do we… pick one? That sounds weird." He realised.

"We'd go through it with an adoption agency." Cassie nodded, "I actually haven't got that further with it. I wanted to wait to see how you felt about it all before properly looking into it all." She said, "I won't be hurt or mad if it's not what you want. I understand that it's a pretty huge thing and… well, it's a tricky thing to wrap your head around."

"But your head is wrapped around it?" He realised as she just looked at him.

"It has to be something we're both serious about." Cassie said as he nodded, "We can take all the time we need to think about it." She said as he nodded in agreement.

"Do we get to pick if it's a boy or a girl?" He asked, genuinely curious as she shook her head and smiled.

"I'm not sure." She smiled, "Why? You have a preference?" She asked.

"Well we got a boy." Theo said as she nodded, watching his mind work overtime as he was no doubt imagining the possibility of raising another baby, of being parents again to another son or a first daughter.

"Like I said, I haven't looked that far ahead. I figured once we officially decided we could tackle the official side of it together." She said, "I do think it's a long process, though." She said as he nodded.

"Yeah we should… have a think about it." He nodded, "I just… I wasn't expecting you to drop that on me." He admitted, "I kinda got the impression that you'd moved past it and… you know, the whole… maybe we're just not supposed to have anymore kids."

"I do that a lot. Kid myself on to avoid things I really want." She said, "You were there when I refused to date you when I was pregnant, right?" She teased as he nodded with a smile.

"I was there." He nodded as she walked over to him, sitting her coffee down on the table.

"If we do it we have to be one hundred percent all in with it." She nodded, "So we should take some time to really think about it. You should take some time." She said as he nodded.

"Can someone come play with me?" Chase asked, making his way into the kitchen, "With my cars."

"Yes, we're both coming, sir." Cassie nodded, following Chase back into the living room as Theo smiled to himself, following after them.


"You're sure?" Thea asked, sitting in a coffee shop with Jude who had just told her about the decision to get a divorce. She figured it was easier to tell her family individually rather than make an announcement to them all. She was starting with the people who couldn't bite their tongue the most, of course.

"Yeah." Jude nodded as Thea sat back, folding her arms as her shoulders sunk with deflation, "I figured you'd encourage it." She shook her head, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Of course I wouldn't encourage it. I hate that you have to go through this." Thea sighed, "I thought you guys were doing therapy and stuff?"

"We were." Jude nodded, "That's how I know that… it's just not working. I know he's sorry. I know he knows he's fucked up. And I know he loves me and wants to make it work but I can't get past it. It just feels like it'll never be the same between us and I'm not going to lie to myself." She shook her head.

"Are you still sleeping together?" Thea wondered.

"Not now." Jude shook her head, "I am also on anti-depressants." She nodded as Thea sighed.

"Jude." Thea frowned as Jude shook her head.

"I don't need the sympathy. I'll be fine." Jude shook her head, "Been through worse."

"Doesn't invalidate how you're feeling right now, though." Thea said, "Is it… just the time of year? Or everything with Sean?"

"I think just a build up of everything." Jude nodded, "And I'm pretty alone out there. When the girls are at school and I don't have work I'm just… lying in bed, watching the clock." She shook her head, "Good thing about it now is that I know when I'm getting bad… so I can call the doctor or whatever." She said as Thea nodded.

"Yeah, I get it." Thea assured her as Jude nodded, "Only when I start feeling like that I start hallucinating holding bottles of vodka in my hand." She grinned, "It's a lot of fun."

"Sounds it." Jude nodded.

"Would you ever consider moving back here? I know you love your job and stuff but being alone out there isn't good." Thea said with concern.

"But I'd have to ask Sean to move back to, so he can see the girls. And that's gonna be a little awkward in the middle of a divorce." She shook her head.

"He might want to move back too." Thea shrugged, "No harm in asking."

"I don't know. I do love it out there but… I loved it more when I had Sean." She shook her head.

"Does anyone else know? About the divorce?" Thea asked.

"I told dad last night. I didn't wanna ruin everyone's Christmas." Jude said, "I'm assuming he's told mom."

"I'm really sorry." Thea nodded sincerely, "No matter how I feel about him and what he did to you… I still wanted things to work out for your sake. Cause I know you love him."

"I do. That's the annoying part. I love him just the same but… our relationship just isn't how it was. And I can't keep us in that place." She shook her head, noticing Thea looking past her over at the front of the coffee shop.

"What are you looking at?" Jude shook her head, turning around.

"Is that Mark?" Thea sat up curiously, "Is he in uniform?"

"Where?" Jude asked.

"Standing ordering a coffee." Thea said.

"It can't be. He wouldn't be allowed to be a cop again. And Cassie would know about it." Jude said, looking on at the man who had their backs to them. The man who had sent her photographs from her evidence file when she was attacked. The man who had held information from them when their mother was kidnapped by a lunatic ex.

"Sure looked like him." Thea nodded, both of them watching as the man turned around, "It is him." She realised as Jude gulped, watching Mark leave the shop with his coffee.

"Why the hell is he in uniform?" Jude turned to Thea.